The Girl In Memory: Spooks Edition
by Through the Mirror Darkly
Summary: Agent Evelyn Matthews joined NCIS with one goal in mind, to stay alive. But she never anticipated coming face to face with Special Agent Gibbs, let alone being put on his team. How was she supposed to work along side of him knowing that he was her father? A father who believes her dead? Will the truth come out? Or are some things best left buried and gone? (Cross with MI-5 Spooks)
1. A Million Miles To Go

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.**

**I want to thank **_**alynambered**_** for helping me edit! I really appreciate it. :D**

* * *

**THE GIRL IN MEMORY**

**Spooks Edition**

**By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

"A MILLION MILES TO GO"

**March 7, 2005  
London, England**

John Bateman made a mistake.

And Lucas North paid for it.

John Bateman had worked for Vaughn Edwards, and delivered packages. He never thought that they were anything deadly. Certainly not legal, but he never suspected something as deadly as a bomb. A bomb that killed _seventeen_ people at the British Embassy.

John Bateman had disappeared and, for all intents and purposes, was dead. Soon after Lucas North was born, and he suppressed the memories of his former life down deep within him, so they would never see the light of day. He had converted himself into a chameleon, changing and adapting to survive.

Pearce had known.

Pearce had known all along who he truly was, and Lucas couldn't help but wonder if he was the one who had been played. He had thought himself a main piece on the board, when he had been nothing more than a pawn. The shadows of the buildings rose above the lane, painting all in darkness. The edges of his vision shifted, and black spots crowded all around. He could feel the energy drain out of him with each passing second and, for a moment, he believed that this could be his end.

But he always got out. He always did.

_And now, how do you expect to get out of this one?_ Lucas North thought with more than a little bit of irony. He stumbled down through the alleyway with a glare in his blue eyes as he forced himself to keep on moving. The pain throbbed and ached like whitehot flames licking up his thigh, and he bit back the bile rising up his throat. His breathing was sharp, uneven and rattled through his lungs. He had to stay on his feet. If he let himself collapse now, it would all be over.

And he had been through worse.

So much worse that he couldn't let a bullet wound to the leg bring him down. He was not a noble crusader fighting for a cause, at least not anymore. He had become disillusioned with it all. He had become weary to death of his need to save the world, no longer bearing the same reason he did when he first joined MI-5. He had considered becoming a traitor, turning over information to Vaughn who would turn it over to the Chinese and he almost had because more than anything he wanted a future.

A future with Maya... but now, she was gone.

Dead. The pain was agonizing, searing through his chest. There were few people in this world that he truly loved, and Maya was one of them. Her death would haunt him for a long time. In the end, he had left the useless file on the rooftop along with Pearce. They all thought he jumped to his death, but he always had a way out. It was the first thing you learned when you became a spy.

Now, he had no choice, but to flee.

His own country would not keep him, and there were few others that would take him. China was out. They would not like his doublecross anymore than the British liked his almost betrayal. He would not go to Russia. He would rather _die_ than go to Russia. He would rather walk into the British Embassy and surrender himself than do that. America had, in the end, been his choice. They would grant him asylum for all the information he knew of Britian, Russia and other countries. In the world of spies, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  
Now, if he could only make it there alive.

Unfortunately, while MI5 believed him to be dead, not everyone else did and enemies he had made in the past had come back to take him out. They no longer had to fear retaliation, and Lucas knew that until the deal was sealed he would have to keep one eye open. Even after, he would still be paranoid. But, he thought humorlessly, was it paranoia when they were truly out to get you?

He heard words, brisk and hard and Russian whispered from somewhere nearby, causing him to halt for a brief moment. He sure as hell wasn't going to let some Russians out for revenge for Arkady Kachimov, haul him back to wherever they intended and torture him.

"Not again. Never again," he hissed through clenched teeth. Gun in hand, he slowed his sprinting to a jog, his eyes scanning the darkened streets, using the garbage container to conceal him from the men at the end of the alleyway. Best way to stay safe was to get them before they got him.

He checked his ammo, and now he had to be focused enough to shoot. He wanted to get the hell out of there and was going to make it happen. Then Lucas shut down all his emotions and locked them up tight. He needed to become a machine and when he did, men would die. It was that simple.

He had to get past the entrance of the alley. The entrance that was blocked by more Russian mobsters. They had known he would be here, that much was certain and he wondered which country that offered him sanctuary sold him out, but that didn't matter right now.

He felt a twinge of alarm when he recognized Stavros Tarasov. He was a vicious, bloodthirsty man who loved _breaking_ people, particularly women. He didn't mind, however, helping Arkaray try to break Lucas. A snarl came to his lips and his hands shook as his hold tightened on his gun.

If Tarasov was here, then this was more serious than he first realized. He watched Tarasov speak to his men before heading down the dock and onto the boat. Lucas narrowed his eyes, taking in the situation carefully. He'd never be able to take them all on, but he could take out the two guards watching the cars. Then he could take one of the vehicles. He'd have to shoot out the other vehicles' tires, which ran the risk of him getting shot again, but it was a risk he had to take.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out the silencer and screwing it onto the end of his gun. He had to move before the two goons who had been chasing him caught up. Heart pounding in his chest, he started forward again. His footsteps virtually soundless against the concrete, and he was on the guards before they knew it. He sent a bullet right through one's skull, and the other lunged at him.

A well placed punch straight to his trachea, had the man gasping and choking. Another bullet fired, and he made a last choking noise before his body collapsed to the ground. Lucas scanned the area one last time before he rushed to the nearest car and slipped into it. His hands ran around the steering column, feeling for the keys. A jolt of relief rushing through his fingers hit him, but it was gone with the sound of shouts. Clenching his jaw, he pointed his gun at the tires of the two other vehicles and blew them out. They exploded with loud bursts, and he slammed the car door shut while twisting the key.

The next few seconds happened fast. He shifted into gear, and put a lead foot on the gas while bullets went flying past him. He heard the rear window shatter as he hit reverse and his fingers slammed down on the lock button just in time, as one man tried to pull the door open.

The tires spun with a squeal and the car peeled out and away from the docks. Lucas kept his head down, until the sound of gunfire had become a distant echo. His heart was hammering wildly and madly in his chest. As soon as he could, he turned off the main road. It was a rookie mistake to stay on the main stretch of road, thinking you were in the clear. His breathing was loud, and reverberated through his body. His scalp prickled nervously and he wiped the sweat from his brow. He reached down, his hand brushing his go-bag that he had stored on a boat and inanely he wondered who sold him out this time.

Hopefully not the Americans, since they were the ones he was going to meet. He had little choice at this point though, and a wave of dizziness flooded through him.

Mentally cursing, he clumsily searched through the car until he came across a bottle of pills in the glove compartment. He quickly read the name of the drug, and realized it was a clever name for cocaine pills. Twisting the bottle open, he swallowed one of the pills. He had to stay awake, and he had to stay alert. He also noticed that this car wasn't just anyone's car. It was Tarasov's personal vehicle which only made him laugh, sardonically. Stealing a major Russia crime lord's car was asking for trouble, but hell, Lucas was already deep in it already.

What was a little bit more?

He carefully scanned the roads, and checked his rearview mirrors dutifully. No lights, no other cars were to be seen. He let out a breath, and pressed down on the gas a little more firmly. The ride was uneventful and took twenty minutes, but they were some of the longest minutes that Lucas had ever experienced in his entire life. And yet, at the same time, it was all too soon that he found himself there at the rendezvous point. He stared at the men standing in front of the plane, ever patient. He took at deep breath and collected himself, before reaching in the back seat and snagging Tarasov's silk jacket. It probably cost a few thousand dollars, and he wrapped it tightly around his wounded leg. He got a little more pleasure out of it than he should, he thought, watching the jacket soak up his blood for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, he shoved the car door open and stumbled out.

Three men stood in blue jackets, with three yellow letters on them.

FBI. The Federal Bureau of Investigation hadn't been his first choice, he would have preferred the CIA or Homeland Security to deal with, but he didn't have the time or connections anymore to warrant such a thing. He reluctantly let them search him, and take his bag and gun from him. He had to swallow back all his instincts that told him to lash out, while he stared steadily ahead at the man who seemed to be in charge.

He wasn't a tall man, but he wasn't exactly short, either. He was balding, and his face was worn with age and troubles.  
However, there was a glint in his eye that let Lucas know that this was a man he could get along with rather well, and someone that he didn't want as his enemy. When the two backed away from their search, the third man stepped forward.

"John Bateman?" The man asked, carefully.

Lucas grimaced. "I prefer Lucas North, actually," he corrected the FBI agent, carefully. "You Agent Fornell?" Lucas asked, his tone wary.

A light smirk graced Fornell's lips. "They said you were good, but I didn't expect you to actually make it here with all the Russians gunning for you," Fornell quipped, his eyes intently scanning North, silently gauging him.

"You knew about the Russians?" Lucas asked, eyebrow raised. He was always best when he was suspicious.

"I know a lot of things," Fornell said, with an uncaring shrug. "What about you, North? What do you know?"

"I know a little about a lot of things," Lucas said, conversationally with his trademark smirk. "Just enough to make me dangerous."

"Of that I have no doubt," Agent Fornell said, with a humorless smile. He gestured towards the plane. "Shall we?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

Lucas put up no argument and made no sudden movements, ever wary of the eyes lingering on him, filled with distrust. It was only natural they distrusted him. He was a spy from another country, a spy who had betrayed his country, once unknowingly, and almost did it again, knowingly. He made his way up to the plane, wincing with every step, and he let out a long sigh once he was able to sit down. Fornell immediately summoned their medical personnel, and asked, "Need something for that leg, North?"

"Already had something," Lucas said, fishing out the bottle of pills and tossing them to Fornell.

Fornell caught it more swiftly than Lucas thought the man capable of. Fornell's hazel eyes flickered down to the bottle, with a frown. "Cocaine capsules?" Fornell cocked an eyebrow. "Didn't take you for a drug user."

"I don't," Lucas said, flinching as the doctor took a look at his leg. The man had to poke and prod, after swabbing the wound clean with alcohol. "But unfortunately, circumstances and all that," he shrugged, or tried to.

"Clean through. No bone broken either," the doctor said, frankly amazed. "You are very lucky."

Lucas and Fornell both snorted. Lucas tested the bandages after the doctor was finished wrapping the leg, and he felt his nerves ease at the motion of the plane beginning to take off. Just a few more hours, then I will be free, Lucas thought, closing his eyes. Or, at least, as free as a person like me can be.

Absentmindedly, he picked up Tarasov's jacket and laid it beside him, when something caught his attention. _Now what is this,_ Lucas thought, as he pulled free the piece of paper from the jacket pocket and found it was a photograph.

A name had been inscribed on the back in red ink, _Evelyn._ Slowly and curiously, he flipped it over and found himself staring at an angel faced beauty. Her skin was the color of porcelain and looked as soft as cream. She had a soft square jaw, indicating a deep strength, with soft plush lips paired with an aquiline nose. Her eyes were blue with specks of gray hidden within them, and were soft, filled with a bright, innocent kind of light. Her lips were pulled up in a bright smile, and she looked genuinely happy, sitting in the grass, enjoying what appeared to be a picnic. Yet there was something so heartbreakingly fragile about her, as if one word could shatter her happy existence and turn it all dark. His finger glided over the glossy paper, a smear of blood traveling in its wake. She didn't look like Tarasov's usual pickings, and yet was significant enough for the man to keep her picture in his breast pocket.

"What is that?" Fornell caught him staring at the photo.

Lucas' eyes flicked up, and he shot Fornell a long debating look. He, for reasons beyond him, didn't want to hand the photo over. There was something magnetic about the girl, but he was here to cooperate with the FBI, after all. It was best to start cooperating. He held the photo out towards Fornell, and quirked a half smile. "You tell me."

* * *

**Two and Half Years Later**

**Washington D.C.  
July 18th, 2008**

Washington D.C. was thriving with life, even at dusk. There was an energy that hummed through the concrete and pulsed up through the soles of her feet all the way up to the top her head. Evelyn Matthew's blue eyes darted all around her, and she shifted the book bag on her aching shoulder. She reached up and tugged her hood further over her head, encasing her face further in shadows. She could never stop looking over her shoulder, it was too engrained in her now. She had made decisions the last few years that had consequences that would always follow her, and the giant blue stone on her bracelet was heavy.

Maybe half that was guilt, but the other half...it was best not to think about it. She crossed the street towards the diner, it was nothing fancy, but it wasn't gaudy like other places she been to before. Evelyn pressed her palm against the metal handle and shoved the door open gently. Above her a bell jingled announcing her, and causing her to wince.

"I'll be with you in a minute, hun," a voice from somewhere in the back called out.

Evelyn paused for the briefest of seconds before scanning the diner for a seat that wasn't out in the open, and where she wouldn't have her back towards any doors. Finally finding a seat where she would be most comfortable, she slipped off her book bag and set it in the seat beside her to discourage anyone else from sitting beside her. Her fingers drew the zipper open and she carefully pulled her laptop out. She set it up in front of her on the table, when the sound of soft soles squeaking against the laminate floor made her jerk her head up to see a waitress making her way towards her. -I don't know a single waitress or nurse that would be caught dead working a shift in heels.

She was an older lady, in a simple red polka dot dress with a white apron wrapped around her waist. Evie could smell her perfume from three feet away, and the sharp smell sent a spike of pain through her skull.

Rubbing her temples, she tried to work up a smile as the waitress stopped beside her table. "What can I get you, hun?" the waitress asked, kindly.

"I...uh," Evelyn reached out, and fumbled with the menu. "The... the number four, but can I have that with coffee?"

"You can, but I have to warn you it's a day old," the waitress said as she wrote the order down on her pad.

"The best kind," Evelyn said, with a half smile.

The waitress chuckled. "If you say so," she said, amused, before turning on her heel and heading back towards the kitchen, leaving Evelyn in peace.

She waited until the woman was out of sight before she turned on the computer. There were several thoughts swirling around her mind, as she fished out a receipt that was crumbled in her pocket and a pen out of her bag. Evelyn hastily scrawled the steps of her plan, on the back of the receipt. She scrutinized the words for several seconds, before a satisfied feeling soothed the nerves prickling along her skin.

_Step One: Finding a House._

_Step Two: Acquire the job._

_Step Three: Take it from there._

Okay, so admittedly her plan was simple and incomplete, but Evelyn was in a situation that normally people didn't find themselves in. Then again admittedly normal people did not have the kind of life that she had, she thought with a mirthless smile. She had to play it by ear, and had to do so carefully.

While her line of work wasn't illegal (mostly), she had made enemies as the aches and pains of her body reminded her. She tugged the sleeves of her shirt down to hide the cuts and burns. She glanced around the diner, the air smelt of grease and days old coffee.

She took note that there was only a waitress, and two cooks working here at this time. She pinched the bridge of her nose as the fluorescent light above her buzzed nosily, only making her headache turn into a full blown migraine. Her heart thudded in her chest, anticipation pulsing through her veins like a living thing. She returned her stare down to the laptop that sat in front of her as she shifted to get more comfortable.

Evelyn had gone by many names in her lifetime, but none of them were as important as Kelly Gibbs. It had been years... so many years since she had been called that name, at least by someone that mattered. It hit her more than ever, as she stared at the NCIS application that she was currently filling out. She was applying for a simple filing job, something under the radar, but that would bring her in constant contact with the one person that Evelyn wished to avoid, and yet see more than anything.

Her father, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Her heart jumped within her chest, and she swallowed thickly before she ran a hand down her face. Tiredly, she stared down at the application and looked over it once again. She made her application clean, and opted to leave out certain things. It would probably raise more suspicion than she was comfortable with. The last thing she needed was anyone getting suspicious. A loud bang from the kitchen made her jump, her spine stiffened as she was immediately plunged back into a dark memory.

_The rain was pouring, harsh and unrelenting. Someone running, their footsteps loud against the slick asphalt. A loud crack echoed through the night, and a body fell as blood splattered-_

"Hon? Hon, are you alright?" the waitress asked.

Evelyn was jolted out of the memory by the sound of her voice, and visibly startled. All the blood drained out of her face, and her blue eyes were wide with panic. "What?" she asked, then shook her head ever so slightly. "Yes, I'm fine." Evelyn managed to put on a convincing smile. The waitress looked unconvinced, but did not say anything as she set down the plate of eggs and bacon in front of Evelyn, then poured her a cup coffee. "Thank you," Evelyn said, politely.

"You're welcome," the waitress said and smiled slightly before she walked away.

Evelyn tunneled her fingers through her hair and sucked in a sharp breath. She didn't know if she had a right to do this, and was not certain that it was the safest thing to do. Sometimes the past was best forgotten and stowed away in a place it would never be found, but that did nothing to smother the deep aching her chest.

A constant longing that ripped through her like shattered glass every time her heart took a beat. The images of her mother (not the ones from her nightmares, where she was bloody and in pieces) and her dad before the accident happened. Before her dad got sent off to war, and before things had spiraled so quickly out of control.

Sometimes, she just hated her memories. The bad ones. The good ones. It didn't matter. Eventually all memories led to the darker ones, and Evelyn squeezed her eyes closed tightly. She let out a long breath, her hands massaging the tense muscles of her neck. There was a ripple of pain and guilt that hit her. She shook her head. A pang of guilt hit her, and she stabbed the fork into her eggs before shoving a large bite into her mouth. Thoughtfully she chewed it, and she begin to consider her options.

She had to get into the FBI, CIA, or NCIS. That was a given, but she felt herself leaning towards NCIS more and more. She couldn't quite quell the need to see her father, even if she did not tell him who she was. A small part of her wanted to more than anything. The other part of her told her that it was a child's dream. It had been so many years.

Too many years.

It would make things unnecessarily complicated, and would not be good for anyone involved, she told herself. The bacon crunched in her mouth and she washed it down with the stale coffee. Tapping her fingers across the keyboard, she looked at the screen with narrowed eyes as her jaw locked. Determination glinted in her bluish grey eyes, and she finished up her application and sent it in before she could change her mind.

As she closed the window, she paused at the picture of her father that she came face to face with. She missed him. She could honestly admit that with no shame or regret. It's why even after all these years she checked on him every so often. Most days Evelyn could keep the ghosts at bay, but there were some days that Kelly would not be put to rest.  
She took down the picture with a heavy heart while solemnly swearing that she would not dig up that past, no matter how much a part of her wanted to.

Too bad she was never good at keeping promises to herself.

* * *

HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!

END OF CHAPTER!

READ AND REVIEW! THANKS! :D


	2. Life is What You Make It

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.**

Thank you **Rianna Hunter **and **andrewjeeves** for the follows! Thank you **BurnedSpy, andrewjeeves **and **lightningx94 **for the favs!

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **BurnedSpy **and **earthdragon! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

**Earthdragon-**Yep, she does like her bad boys. I know! Richard Armitage was the only reason that I watched Spooks, and to know he was only in those few seasons, I was very put out. He is quite devilishly handsome and an amazing actor to boot. Oh, it will. I'm looking forward to writing that. Thank you for your review! :D

**I was not going to update another chapter this soon, but I am SO EXCITED about this fic! And I couldn't help myself. Really, I couldn't.**

And a very, very special thanks to alynambered for helping with the editing.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

**'Life Is What You Make It' **

Evelyn allowed her eyes to roam around the NCIS lobby while she waited for security to verify her appointment. The building was full of warm, inviting colors, such as rich browns and tans. However they couldn't quite dispel the sense of dread that knotted in her stomach. She let out a long breath, her fingers idly twisted the chain of her locket while she shot a wary look at the security guard who approached her once more.

"It all checks out. You'll knock 'em dead in that outfit," the guard told her, with a wink as he handed over the visitor badge.

Evelyn smiled, bemused. She hadn't thought the simple black skirt and contrasting sweater warranted such a compliment. It had to be color, she concluded as her eyes flickered over several people. Most were wearing dark colors: blacks, browns and grays.

She stood out like a cardinal in a sea of black crows, decked out in her crimson sweater. She shifted the strap of her purse resting on her shoulder, as she stepped into the elevator. When the elevator doors slid closed, leaving her enclosed and alone, despite her best efforts, she felt a trickle of fear slide down her spine. Swallowing thickly, she smoothed the rebellious strand of dark red hair back behind her ear, and she scrunched her eyes closed for the briefest of moments.

The florescent lights buzzed noisily, and the sound pressed in on her, almost painfully. The stress of today was already heavy upon her shoulders and, as she forced her eyes open, she stared at her distorted reflection in the metal wall.

Evelyn wouldn't say she was always certain, but she had never felt this degree of uncertainty before. It was painful, borderline nauseating. Absentmindedly she smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles in her sweater and skirt, while looking at the dark circles under her eyes. She had tried to conceal them the best she could with make up, but even makeup wasn't a miracle worker after four days with less than 4 hours of sleep each night.

A weighty sigh fell from her lips, and a frown seemed permanently attached to her face. The elevator doors slid open with a ding, and she stepped out with her head held high. Her gaze swept over the activity on the floor. Voices came from all directions, as people were hurrying about their business, leaving her momentarily dizzy. She had never been one for crowds and much preferred being the wall flower; taking it all in from a distance rather than being in the middle of the fray. Remembering the instructions that security had given her, Evelyn took a step forward when the cell phone in her purse began to ring.

She jumped, much to her embarrassment and hissed a quiet curse under her breath. Unzipping the bag, she slipped her hand inside, shifting through it for a few moments while 'You Are My Sunshine' played all the while. The relief she felt when she pulled out the phone and answered it, could not be described.

"Hello, Evelyn speaking," she said, her eyes darting around and saw no one was paying her any mind.

"Oh, hello, Evelyn! This is Lisa Daisy," the refined voice drawled from the other end of the connection. Mrs. Daisy was an older woman, who had finally given in to her children's urging and moved down to Florida. She put her old house up for sale, one that Evelyn had adored as a child. It wasn't like any of the other houses in the D.C. area, the original architect taking his inspiration from the grand old mansions of the south during the Civil War Era. It was close enough to town without being inconvenient, yet far enough out in the country that she had no worry of nosy neighbors. "How are you, m'dear?"

"I am very fine today, thank you," Evelyn said, pleasantly. She leaned against the wall out of the way, and watched the people who moved by.

Her eyes searched for her father, even though she had promised herself that she wouldn't. There was a lurch from her body when she spotted a splash of grey hair, only to slump back against the wall with disappointment when the man turned. He wasn't him. Her fingers tightened around her phone, and she reminded herself that she wasn't here for that. "And yourself?"

"Ah, suffering. I'm afraid my old knees just aren't up for gardening anymore and my flowers are paying the price." Mrs. Daisy heaved a sorrowful sigh. "You will take care of the flowers, won't you, darling?"

"Of course," Evelyn easily agreed. And she would. Picking the right plants, and strategically placing them around the house would add an extra layer of security and would help ease her fears. The fact that she genuinely enjoyed gardening was simply a bonus. "You know," she added, "you could have knee replacement surgery, Mrs. Daisy. I hear it is all the rage."

"Oh, I heard about that. Not sure I'm up for it though," Mrs. Daisy said, distastefully. "I abhor hospitals and doctors these days. No bedside manners at all, I tell you."

"There are good ones, you just have to look."

"If you say so, dear." Mrs. Daisy sounded unconvinced.

Evelyn couldn't help, but to chuckle. "Anyways," Evelyn said, now that the social requirements had been satisfied, "has the realtor finalized all the paperwork and has it ready for us to sign?"

"Yes, yes, all we have to do is sign," Mrs. Daisy confirmed, sweetly. "I trust that you are still available this afternoon?"

Evelyn's shoulder straightened as the weight of worry eased up ever so slightly. "That sounds perfect. Thank you, Mrs. Daisy, you do not know how much I appreciate this," Evie said, unable to contain the feelings of elation in her chest.

"Oh, splendid, splendid," Mrs. Daisy replied, breezily. "I shall have some tea and cakes made for us then. It's been a pleasure speaking to you, hon."

"The pleasure was all mine," Evie grinned, broadly. "Good-bye, Mrs. Daisy."

"Bye-bye!"

Evelyn snapped her phone shut, allowing a triumphant smile to grace her lips. Phase one: Housing, almost complete. Now, she just had to secure the job. With a new confidence in her step, she moved away from the wall, when suddenly there was a man in her way. She halted, and blinked up at him with bemusement evident on her face.

"Hello," the man said, charmingly.

"Um... Hello?" Evelyn blinked.

He was a good-looking man, with a boyish grin and his green eyes, with specs of hazel, appeared playful. It was almost easy to miss the keen intelligence within them. Perhaps that's what the man wanted, others to underestimate him.

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo," he smiled, brightly. "If you need any questions answered, or help with _anything_, it would be my pleasure to be of service."

Evelyn raised an eyebrow, and let out a chuckle. "That might mean more if you hadn't just checked out my cleavage," she told him, suppressing a smirk.

He just shrugged, without a lick of shame upon his face. "Well, in my defense it is a nice, _tight_ sweater," he said, with a broad and charming smile.

Evelyn snorted in amusement because she had a feeling that he was merely teasing, rather than serious. "So I've noticed," she stated wryly, with an eyebrow arched.

"I'm Evelyn Matthews, it has been... well, it's been something, Anthony, though I'm not entirely sure what, yet. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment I can't afford to miss."

As she walked away, she heard a couple people laughing, but she barely paid them any mind. She walked up the metal stairs and towards the office she had been directed to. She opened the door and walked into the room. It was more cozy than the rest of the building, with several personal touches, most likely done by the young mocha skinned woman behind the desk.

"Yes?" The secretary looked up at her, expectantly.

"Uh, yes." Evelyn gathered her wits about her. "Evelyn Matthews. I have an interview," she said.

The secretary glanced down at her schedule and nodded ever so slightly, before lifting her head to give Evelyn a smile of encouragement. "Yes, you can go right in. The Director is expecting you."

"The Director?" Her eyes widened comically, and her mouth dropped open in an unladylike gape. "I think there's been a mistake," Evelyn stated, turning towards the secretary. "I am Evelyn Matthews. I'm just here for an interview, not anything so important to warrant the Director's attention."

Unless the DNA test was run not only through the criminal and terrorist databases, but also through their employee database, as well. Evelyn's stomach twisted, and perspiration broke out on her skin. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I was under the impression that I was merely coming in for an interview," she stated, feeling more nervous than she cared to admit.

"You are," the secretary said, with a sympathetic smile that only served to make Evelyn more nervous. "Go right on in when you are ready," the woman told her, before returning to her phone call.

Evelyn stood there, her blue eyes flickering towards the door and were filled with apprehension. There was an unsettling sensation churning in her gut, and more than a little suspicion racing through her mind.

Why would the Director of NCIS wish to handle an interview when he clearly had more important responsibilities to deal with? It made little sense. A resigned sigh fell from her lips, and she headed towards the door, while steeling her faltering resolve. The door handle was cold as ice against her skin as she twisted it slowly. She stepped across the threshold, and shut the door silently behind her.

"Ah, Miss Matthews." A woman stood behind the desk, entirely unlike what Evelyn expected. Her hair was short, and a deep rich red.

She was dressed in a sharp blue suit that enhanced her feminine figure. Her expression was polite, but there was sternness there. This was a no-nonsense woman with eyes that were intelligent and sharp, but not unkind, and her lips were turned up into a tiny smile. "Please, have a seat," the woman gestured before setting down behind the Director's desk. Evelyn hesitated for a moment too long, and the woman looked back at her. "Is there a problem?" Her eyebrow quirked upward.

"Well, to be honest, you aren't exactly what I was expecting," Evelyn stated, being honestly blunt. Her head tilted to the side ever so slightly, and she stared at the redhaired woman keenly. _Single. Longing. Insomniac. Dedicated_, Evelyn thought, as she took in the lack of a wedding band or sign there had ever been one. Job came first, and if there was time, life came second. However, the clear lip gloss and light blue eye shadow were clear signs that she did indeed wish for someone to see her as a woman. Probably someone working here at NCIS.

Dark circles and stress lines surrounding the woman's eyes gave away her lack of sleep, while black ink was smeared on her right fingertip, and a mountainous stack of papers indicated she had been hard at work.

"Ah, I see," the redheaded woman inclined her head in understanding. 'Director Shepard' was her name, if the name plaque sitting upon her desk was to be trusted. "Let me take a guess, you were expecting an old man, grey suit, possibly balding, instead you found me."

"Pretty much," Evie said, with a sheepish smile.

"Well, if you had been here three years ago, your expectations wouldn't have been that far off, but NCIS has gotten new blood since then," Director Sheppard said, with a half smirk. "Speaking of which, it is why I brought you here."

"Alright...?" Evelyn's brows furrowed. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly when she saw a file on top of Director Shepard's desk. A file with her name on it.

Slowly and purposefully, Evelyn lowered herself into a chair and kept her expression carefully composed. "Ma'am, if I may, what is this all about?" Evie asked, a fragment of nervousness in her voice. "I was merely coming here for a normal job interview."

"Please, just call me Director, and we will get to that in a moment, Miss Matthews," Director Shepard stated, pushing the file out of the way. Those eyes of hers were piercing, as she regarded Evelyn intently. "Now, I've been looking over your file and I have to say I have a few... concerns, shall we say?"

"What concerns?" Evelyn asked, frowning.

"Let me see." The Director slid on a pair of glasses, her eyes narrowing at a piece of paper before her. "Four jobs in the last three years. That is not impressive."

"You mean it's alarming. I get it and understand why, but all I have to say in my defense is that I haven't found the right fit, yet," Evelyn said, mildly. It took everything she had to keep her breathing calm and even, and keep a professional manner up. She hadn't expected to deal with the Director and, to be honest, it left her more than a little nervous. One slip up could undermine months of work, and Evelyn could not afford that to happen.

"Hmm, well, you certainly have glowing recommendations regardless of that," Director Shepard murmured. "Another concern I have is that you are applying for a...," Sheppard opened the file, retrieving the application, "desk job, when clearly it's ill suited to you."

"How so?" Evie asked, lightly.

"You are a bright individual, if your list of accomplishments is any indication. So it baffles me as to why you applied to be a paper pusher," Shepard stated, with a slight tilt of her head, "when your skills would be more useful elsewhere."

It was true. She could do well in a field job, she had done so before. _Well, until that..., _she shook her head, it wasn't best to dwell on that. However, she preferred the background jobs, the ones where she could fly under the radar. The anonymity of a desk job would be more beneficial, given all that had happened, but Evelyn couldn't exactly tell the Director any of that. "I... I just figured it was the best place for me," Evelyn stated, her voice flat and giving nothing away.

Jenny smiled, but it wasn't exactly pleasant. It was a knowing smile that set Evelyn's teeth on edge. "Perhaps, but perhaps not. I will say that either way, NCIS will benefit from hiring you, however I am not entirely convinced that a desk job is what is best for you," the Director stated, seriously. "I would like to offer you a deal."

Evelyn's brows furrowed, and her expression was wary. "What would this... deal entail exactly?" she drawled, slowly.

"Three months. You work in the field on a team of my choosing," Shepard stated, a mysterious gleam in her green eyes. "A trial, if you will. After the three months is up, and you still feel that a desk job is for you, then it's yours. If the three months is up and you find that the field job is more to your liking than you would have thought, then you will be permanently assigned to a team."

"But why?" Evelyn asked, her gaze sharp. "There's got to be a reason that you are doing this, and while I would like to believe in the goodness of people's hearts, I think there's more to it than that."

Director Shepard was momentarily startled into silence, because, for a moment, she did not have an answer. Of course, Evelyn Matthews' file was impressive, and it would be a waste to have her sitting behind a desk. Yet Jenny couldn't blame that entirely for her decision. "I have a feeling you will do well here, is all," Jenny stated, staring at the woman's eyes, feeling like she was missing something big. It was the same feeling she had when she saw Evelyn Matthews' photo, a strange sense of Déjà vu. "So...do we have deal?" the Director asked, appearing aloof once more.

Evelyn wasn't entirely convinced by the Director's reasoning, but the deal wasn't entirely bad. Three months in the bigger scheme of things wasn't that long and, while she didn't like the idea of drawing any sort of attention to herself, she had a feeling that making a big fuss would only serve to make her look suspicious.

"We have a deal," she said, her lips pulling into a strained smile. "I need a week to be able to get my house in order, will that be a problem?"

"Not at all," Jenny replied.

"Thank you for... your time and this offer," Evelyn said, sincerely.

"You're welcome," Jenny smiled, inclining her head ever so slightly. "I will get Cynthia to begin finalizing the paper work and we will get back with you within the week. Now, about the team you will be assigned to-"

The office door was opened, and a man came walking through. He wore a dark brown suit, his face engraved with serious lines and his eyes were small, but their gaze was intent. He had thinning hair, and a deep frown upon his face, as he strode into the room. "Oh," the Director blinked, then frowned, "Agent Fornell. I wasn't expecting you..."

"Yes, I know. But I needed to speak to you...," Fornell froze when he noticed another person in the office, and did a double take at Evelyn.

Evelyn quirked an eyebrow at the reaction, but turned back to the Director. "I'll... take my leave?" She asked, uncertainly.

"Yes, yes," the Director nodded. "You may go. We can... go over the rest of the details at a later date."

Evelyn nodded with a tiny smile and rose from the chair. She walked towards the door and glanced at the man, Fornell. He was giving her a strange look that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end and she hurried out of the room, trying to look like she wasn't running away. She glanced at her watch to find the time, when she ran into someone coming up the stairs. "Oh!" She cried out, reeling back when hot coffee spilt all down the front of her sweater. "Oh, my God! I am so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going-"

"I gathered that," a very familiar voice scathingly replied.

Evelyn froze in wiping her sweater clean and slowly looked up. Her stomach dropped when she found herself staring into a pair of eyes identical to her own. Her mouth opened and closed several times at the impressive glower thrown her way and she felt her pulse hammering in her temples. Her mind tried to comprehend that he was here, right in front of her. She knew he would be here at NCIS, she knew that, but coming face to face with him made it a reality she never truly considered.

"I am so sorry. Look I will pay for another coffee, if you want," she found her voice, and hated the tremble within it. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and she heard a voice in the back of her head say, 'Daddy.'

"Don't have time," and he brushed past her like she was nothing. She stood there, dumbstruck and reeling, feeling as if the world had been swept out from underneath her. It felt like a great hand had smashed into her chest and ripped out her heart, squeezing and mashing it before shoving it back in all wrong. Emotion choked her, welling up in her throat, leaving it very hard to breath. She stared down at the steps for a long moment, trying somehow to pull it all together. Then suddenly, with a mind of their own, her feet pulled her forward down the stairs. She clenched her teeth, took deep and even breaths and determined to walk out of NCIS with her head held high.

"Are you alright?" a man asked. He was a bit boyish looking, with wide eyes and a round face. His hair was a light brown, and he seemed to be working with a computer when he looked up and saw her crash into... him. Her father.

"Never better," she answered him as she walked past his desk. "Thank you," she added, pausing for a brief moment. Then she continued walking, and only when the elevator slid closed and she was alone, did she allow the tears she had been holding in to fall.

* * *

Lucas North attacked the punching bag with a feral ferocity. His teeth bared, his eyes narrowed, imagining the punching bag was an enemy. He wailed on the bag, muscles rippling in his back and chest, his tattoos shifting and contorting with his every movement. A sheen of sweat glisten on his skin, as he grunts echoed through the gym. Other men were hard at it, working on punching bags or boxing with each other. He paid them little mind, his entire focus going into extending his arms in sharp jabs.

The contact with the punching bag was blunt, and he felt his heart race a little faster with each blow he landed. His breaths came a little sharper, and he felt the adrenaline flowing through his veins. He moves were sharp and lethal, until after fifteen minutes he started to slow and one of other people there suggested he take a break. He pulled back, his shoulders tight and taunt and grabbed his bottle of water, when he noticed his phone flashing, saying he'd gotten a text message.

He sat down on the bench, flipping open the lid on his water and downed a swallow before grabbing his phone. It was a picture sent via text message from Fornell. He frowned, his eyes narrowing a bit. It had been a while since he dealt with Fornell personally, so whatever it was, it must be rather important. Opening the message, he felt his shoulders tense in shock. The photo was a bit pixilated, but there was no doubt who it was. It was the mysterious Evelyn. He had never forgotten that photo. Never forgotten her face. Perhaps it was his curious nature, or perhaps he was more intrigued by the woman in the picture than he originally thought. He scrolled down to read the message and stared at it for several long seconds, before he slowly flipped the phone shut and rested his chin on his knuckles. His expression was thoughtful as he gazed around the gym for a few moments before, slowly, a smirk appeared on his face.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" One of the other boxers asked him.

"I'm heading to D.C.," Lucas's smirk broadened.

* * *

It had once been one huge house, bordering on a mansion. Now two large houses stood side by side, with forty to fifty feet in between them. A tasteful black iron fence, that stood a good ten feet tall, linked the two houses with ivy vines and climbing rose bushes and obscured any views of what lay behind it. A garden, Mrs. Daisy had told her. A fire, over a decade ago, had burned down a good portion of the house, and instead of rebuilding, Mrs. Daisy, on a whim, turned it into the garden. She liked gardening, so that was no hardship. The only downside with this gorgeous ideal place was that the houses didn't come together, meaning it was quite possible that she would have a neighbor.

And she would have to share her garden with them. A laugh almost spilt past her lips as she thought, wryly, that really shouldn't be her biggest concern right now. "So... have you sold the other house yet?"

She hoped beyond hope that she would have some solitude, and the last thing she needed was a nosy neighbor.

"I have an interested party," Mrs. Daisy stated, with a wave of her hand. "But nothing set in stone. Now that we have everything settled, you'll be able to move in whenever you are ready."

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate this," Evelyn smiled broadly at the woman. "Thank you."

"Oh, you're welcome, dear." The older woman picked up her purse and gathered her things. She gave one last wistful glance at the place, and sighed lightly. "And I hope you enjoy your new home, as much as I enjoyed my time here."

"You know what?" Evelyn looked up at the house, feeling a serenity wash over her that she hadn't felt in a long time. "I think I will."

* * *

Gibbs had checked over the case file. A marine's wife and daughter had been kidnapped by an antiwar fanatic. In the end, they caught the man and managed to get the wife and daughter out without incident. It had been one of the lucky days, ones where everything got done right and everyone came out alive. Staring down at the case, he couldn't help, but wonder what he would have done if he had been in that situation.

_If Shannon and Kelly had been... _He shook his head as his gut twisted painfully. He couldn't let himself think like that. Shannon and Kelly were dead, and nothing could change that. He couldn't let himself dwell in the past like that.

He had just shut the file when a shadow was cast over him. "Rough day?" Jenny asked, her eyes taking in the smudges of dirt on his suit, and his bloody cheek and split lip.

Gibbs heaved a sigh, setting his pen down on his papers and resting his elbows on his desk, entwining his fingers to peer over them at her. "What is it exactly that you want, Jen?" he asked, his voice suspiciously light.

"What makes you think I want something?" Jenny blinked, her expression seemingly innocent, but there was a calculation in her eyes that didn't escape Gibbs' notice.

"I know you, Jen," Gibbs stated, eyebrow arched. "Conversations with you always come with conditions."

Jenny looked a bit startled at that, and maybe a bit hurt, before she was able to put on her professional façade once more. She held a file out to him, and Gibbs' brow furrowed slightly as he took it. He flipped it open and found himself looking at what appeared to be an agent's file. He shot a quick look at Jenny, who was just standing there patiently, before he grabbed his glasses and slid them on. He looked back down at the file. "Evelyn Matthews... age 24..." His eyes ran over the various achievements, before he came to a startling fact. "What the hell, Jen? I already have three agents on my team, I do not need one more and, most certainly, not another I didn't pick."

"Ziva has worked out fine, has she not?" Jenny countered, combatively. "And this is possibly not a permanent situation. I am giving her a three month trial with your team, and I expect," she gave him a pointed look, "you to be on your _best _behavior. You know what I mean, Jethro."

"Why, Jen? My team is perfectly capable as it is," Gibbs stated, firmly. He preferred to pick the people on his team, because he knew what it took to make a good agent. He saw it in Jenny all those years ago. He saw in Tony, he had seen it in Kate, he saw it in McGee and, eventually, he saw it in Ziva, much to his surprise. His team was complete as far as he was concerned. They got the job done, what more could Jenny want from them?

"It's not very often that a file comes across my desk like this, it makes me take notice. While I have seen applications with better, fancier recommendations than she has, this girl has something they don't. Potential, and that doesn't come around as often as it used to. I want her trained by the best that we have, and... as much as it pains me to admit it, that's you, Jethro," Jenny stated, vehemently and very seriously. She had her arms crossed over her chest, and she glowered down at Gibbs, just daring him to continue to argue.

"A compliment, Jen?" Gibbs smirked ever so slightly.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Jethro," she retorted, her eyes crinkling ever so slightly, but her lips remained in a firm line. "She will be starting next week. Best behavior," she reminded him, before she turned on her heel and walked away.

Gibbs watched her walk up the stairs, before he flipped the page of the file and found himself looking at Evelyn Matthews' photo. He found himself looking at the face of the girl who spilt his coffee. "Ah, hell!" Gibbs cursed, running a hand through his hair. He was not one to believe in fate or signs, he usually left that to Abby. However, if he did, he knew this sure as hell wasn't a good one. Not a good sign at all.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER**

**Hoped you enjoyed!**

**Rrs are appreciated, and always answered. **


	3. Like Oil and Water

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.**

Thank you **Rianna Hunter **and **andrewjeeves** for the follows! Thank you **BurnedSpy, andrewjeeves **and **lightningx94, EisForElephant, RedEyedSurprise, skeeter88, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, SpecialAgentLeonie, winter hail, **and** doggy bye **for the favs!

Thank you Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, Fantasyfictionwriter, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, andrewjeeves, skeeter88, and x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x for the follows! :D

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **angel strife, RedEyedSurprise, and Guest! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

**Guest: **Thank you!

**Angelstrife: **Hey, it has been awhile! Thank you so much. Glad you like it so much! Hope you enjoy the update!

**HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THE CHAPTER! :D**

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

'**Like Oil and Water'**

Her head ached, and throbbed. She pressed the palms of her hands against her eyeballs, and heaved a long deep sigh. The sleep had been impossible. Nightmares had plagued her from dusk till dawn and she had gotten no rest. She stumbled through the boxes that she had yet to unpack, she made her way to the kitchen. The kitchen was huge and bright with three large windows, and the glass doors that opened out to the patio. The stainless steel appliances and marble counter tops that had excited her days ago, now made her wince as the sunlight beamed off of them.

She reached up to the dark colored cabinets, and opened several of them until she found where she had store her medicine. Taking the bottle of aspirin, she pried open the top and popped two straight into her mouth. She swallowed thickly, before releasing a long breath and closed her eyes tightly. _She remembered the color of red, splattering across the cars interior in violent spray and driver's head snapping to the right before he slumped in the seat. She remembered the scream of terror her mother let out, her arms reaching out and holding her baby tight as the car spun out of control. The next few moments flash by in a sequence of events too fast, the glass shattering, their bodies slung about like ragdolls, and the screech of metal sliding across pavement. Then…then it all came to a sudden and abrupt halt._

She slammed her hands down onto the counter to jolt herself back into reality. _What is wrong with me?_ She thought as she took a deep breath, and tunneled her fingers through her hair. It was like she couldn't help, but think of death anymore. Their deaths. Her mother's death. Her own death. Evelyn brushed the fallen strands of hair out her face with a huff. She was simply not in the mood to deal with, not today of all days. A bitter chuckle ripped through her lips, and she wondered if perhaps that's why. Perhaps knowing that he was going to be there brought it all back. She ran her hands up her collarbone and wrapped them around her neck gently. She massaged the back of her neck, trying to elevate the tension in her muscles, and let out another sigh. "Stop," she told herself, firmly. "Just don't think about it. Just stop thinking about it. It is _that_ easy."

What an unhelpful lie _that_ was.

There was a heavy vibration in the air, an incessant whirr of electricity. Most people knew light only by sight, but Evelyn was sensitive that she could hear the electricity buzzing through lights-particularly fluorescent lights. It was a sharp insect like buzzing that grated on ever last nerve, and usually gave her a migraine. She did not hear any of that in the house, she had chosen certain kind low output lights to avoid that. So it was just a feeling of intense annoyance that reminded her so much of that. Her mind raced as she stood there, rooted to the spot. It had been a long time since Evelyn awoke in that hospital with no idea who she was, or where she was. By the time she remembered at the age nineteen, she had already been recruited into Cathedral and well, it just seemed like she would never get the chance to see her father.

Even with her oaths that she would not delve into the past, she couldn't help, but to think about it. What would he say if she told the truth? Would he welcome her back? Would he get angry, and not believe her? Her mind flashed back to when she split coffee on him, and she felt her stomach twist violently. He had changed a great deal. His hair had become silver losing all its color, and his face had lines that weren't there before. Lines of grief and loss etched into his face, and his eyes were cold. She jolted when the annoying shrill alarm on her phone pierced the silence of the house.

Jabbing her hand into her pocket, she pulled it out and looked at the time as she hit the dismiss button. The red numbers shining at her made her blink, and blink again. "Ah, hell," she groaned in disgust and turned on heel, rushing through the house. Six-thirty, the stupid time said. If she didn't hurry up, she was going to be late. "Damn it, damn it, damn it," she muttered as she sprang up the stairs in a hurry. Today was going to be a hell of a day. Emphasis on the hell part, she was more than a little certain.

* * *

Darrin West made his way up the aisle of the pharmacy, and his hands were shaking, and his eyes flickered everywhere. His old army uniform was wrinkled and torn as if had worn it for days upon days. His gaze was distance as dark memories surfaced from the back of his mind. _Dry, deserted, silent. No sign of life. Then suddenly flames, and bullet fire. Dead bodies littered the ground, and a symbol…a horrifying symbol. _The bright, sterile lights of pharmacy brought him back to the present with a harsh shudder.

"Sir?" The pharmacist asked, giving him a worried frown as he approached the counter. "Sir, are you okay?" she asked him, lightly.

"Darrin West," he breathed out.

The pharmacist opened her mouth, before she closed it and typed the name into the computer. She hit the enter button, and frowns heavily at the computer screen. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't have anything…" She gave him a sympathetic smile.

Panic shot through him, and he shook his head. "No, no, no. I have refill left," he stated, firmly. This couldn't be happening. This could not be happening.

The pharmacist rechecked. "No, I'm sorry," she shook her head.

"This isn't…this isn't good," Darrin shook his head side to side, and he reached up, clutching his skull between his hands. "Make it stop…you have to make it stop…"

A stock boy started over, when he noticed the commotion. "Sir, please calm down," the stock boy stated, his hands help upward in a peaceful gesture.

Darrin's eyes locked onto the box cutter in his hand, and suddenly-_close. Messy. A man. Military man. Shiny blade. Violent struggle. Blood is EVERYWHERE! _Darrin gulped in air, greedily and the stock boy touched his shoulder. The blade was right in Darrin's face, and he snapped. Darrin in a blur of movement grabbed the stock boy's knife, and plunged straight into his neck. The stock boy dropped down to the ground dead.

"_AHHH!" _The pharmacist screamed, in horror.

The other customers backed away as a pool of blood covered the floor,and only one brave man rushed forward trying to put Darrin into a choke hold. Darrin screamed in rage and panic, twisting the blade and stabbed the man in the gut. He threw the man off of him, and looked around at all the horrified face, his free coming up to grasp his throbbing temple then he turned, running as fast as his feet could carry him out of the grocery store.

* * *

"Does it hurt?"

The squad room was as usual bustling with energy, and chatter. Abby was trailing after McGee who was having a bit of trouble adjusting to his crutches. "Only when I think about it…" McGee grimaced, as he determinedly tried to sit down at his desk with no help. It didn't work, in the end Abby had to help him into the seat. "Which is all the time," he groused, looking down at his leg with a glower.

McGee reached for the tin can of cookies that Abby had set on his desk, and she slapped his hand. "Ouch!" McGee complained.

"Those are for Gibbs," Abby sniffed, delicately.

"Getting shot doesn't warrant a cookie?" McGee asked, with a slight pout.

"Not when you got shot for being stupid," Abby eyed him with disdain, still more than a little angry with him for chasing after the last weeks bad guy without back up. The only one that had been more infuriated than her was Gibbs. "You're just lucky you go shot."

"I'm lucky to have gotten shot?" McGee arched a brow.

"Yep," Abby smirked. "If you hadn't, Gibbs would have made your life a living hell. With the gun wound, he'll settle for just making it a nightmare."

"You words are always such a comfort, Abby," McGee said, dryly. He didn't deny her assumption though. She was probably right. He could just see it now. Mountain stacks upon mountain stacks of paper work that no one else wanted to do. Tony's paperwork, Ziva's paperwork, Gibbs's paperwork…he shuddered, fearfully.

"Aren't they?" Abby said, with a sparkling smile.

"Excuse me?" A calm and gentle voice interrupted their banter, and Abby turned to face a young red woman. She was dressed in black slacks, and a deep blue long sleeve shirt. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, out of her face. She had a pair of blue eyes that were studying both Abby and McGee with an unnerving intent. "Hi," the woman said, with a fleeting smile.

"Hi?" Abby asked, more than stated.

"Can we help you?" McGee asked, more helpful than the goth.

"Um, well, I'm not entirely sure," the woman said, with a tiny self-deprecating laugh as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I was told by the Director to wait here for…well, she didn't exact tell me who to wait on," she said, with no small amount of exasperation in her voice. She stood there twisting her hand together nervously then gave a dry chuckle. "God, I am so sorry. Where are my manners at all? Evelyn Matthews, it's a pleasure to meet y'all," she said, with a half smile. She held out her hand, and Abby shook it.

"Abby Scuito, and this is McGee," Abby introduced them.

"Tim," McGee interjected, quickly. "You can call me Tim."

"Real smooth there, Tim," Abby rolled her eyes while Tim flushed ever so slightly.

"Ah…" Evelyn shifted on the balls of her feet, a bit of her nervousness and anxiousness that she couldn't quite hide. Her blue eyes flickered across the pair. The man, McGee, she noted was a writer judging by the callously upon his finger tips. The ink smudges indicated an older typewriter instead of a computer. Her eyes pulled towards the goth, Abby. She was dressed in a lab coat, which meant forensics not field agent. Underneath the lab abot was a black and purple plaid skirt paired with a t-shirt that had the cover of Android Lust's latest album art on it. Evelyn could say that she instantly liked her, which didn't often happen. "Right. It's a pleasure to meet you both, but I should probably find the Director and find out what's going on-" She began when a voice from behind her interrupted her.

"Tight sweater!" Tony cried out. "We meet again. How about that?" He said as he came to a halt beside her with a charming smile upon his lips.

"Yeah," Evelyn drawled out as she turned to face him. "How about that?"

He shifted a tad closer to her, and Evelyn took a half a step back. "So how are you enjoying NCIS so far?" He asked, his grin broadened.

"Oh, yeah. It's wonderful. The stuff dreams are made of," she replied, dryly.

"Oh, the Maltese Falcon. That's a classic," Tony sighed, wistfully. "Samuel Spade is interviewed by the beautiful Miss Wonderly, who wishes to hire him to find her runaway sister. Sam's partner, Miles Archer, agrees to be present when Wonderly-you have no idea what I am talking about, do you?"

"No, not exactly," Evelyn shook her head.

"Not everyone is a movie fanatic like you, Tony," Ziva chuckled, wryly.

"No one appreciates the classics these days," Tony sighed, looking so put out that Evelyn almost laughed.

"Hey, now! I do, too, appreciate classic movies," Evie stated, with a mock scowl on her face. It wasn't often that she found someone she could fall so easily into banter with. Or anyone she had to try to banter with in a long time. She decided then and there, she would endeavor to be friends with Tony DiNozzo.

"Oh? Really?" Tony arched a skeptical brow.

"Yes, really. _She Done Him Wrong, White Heat _and _Citizen Kane _are some of my particular favorites," Evie listed off, watching as Tony's face fell. He looked stunned, then a genuine smile appeared on his face.

"I think I just fell in love with you," Tony stated, a hand placed upon his heart. Abby sniggered, and McGee snorted lightly while Ziva rolled her eyes before going to her desk. Tony ignored them all, and smiled at Evelyn. "Evelyn Matthews-"

"Our new agent," Gibbs walked into the room, with a coffee in hand and his eyes instantly zoomed on his newest headache. She was slight thing, standing only a few inches over five foot with bright red hair and she twisted to face him. He found himself staring into a youthful face, and for a moment he was struck. He wasn't exactly sure why he was taken aback, but if he had to guess it was the pair of blue eyes that drilled into him without remorse. He saw the briefest flicker of surprise, and a little bit of pain then her face was carefully polite. Suspicion instantly boiled in his gut, and his eyes narrowed as he looked over her with a keener gaze.

"Our new agent?" Ziva asked, her voice light and her brows furrowed in confusion. Her dark gaze was on Evelyn, trying to determine whether the red head was a friend or not.

"Yep," Gibbs said, the word popping on the last syllable. He took a sip of his coffee, the much needed caffeine like a jolt to his system and he felt much more in his element once more. "Everyone meet our newest team member," he said it with a dry tone of voice. Judging by his tight expression, he was far from pleased by this new development.

Evelyn felt the weight of his stare, his gaze assessing and judging. For the briefest of moment, she had thought he had recognize her. Her heart leapt into her throat, and several words that she had been prepared promptly vanished before they could fall from her mouth. She found herself staring at him, with slightly widened eyes. It was much like the encounter on the stairs where she was completely thrown, by the fact that she was standing before him and the power of the emotions that rendered her speechless. "New agent?" Her voice sounded faint to her own ears.

"Clearly the Director forgot to tell you some things," Gibbs stated, sardonically. His smirk was forced, and his eyes were not welcoming in the slightest.

"Clearly," Evelyn repeated, with a small nod. Her fingers curled into fists at her sides, and she didn't break his stare, no matter how intimidating she found it. Her toes curled painfully in her shoes as she forced herself not to shift nervously underneath his piercing stare. The longer she stared at him, the more difference she could see between him and the way she remembered him. There was a hardness in his eyes, and lines that could only have been created from loss. A pang of guilt pierced through her and she wondered how much of that was put there because of her mother's death. And hers, too. Couldn't forget that for all intents and purposes, she was dead to her father. Evelyn stared at him, and him at her as if they were two opponents in battle waiting to see which one would strike first.

"He is going in for the stare down," Tony whispered, loudly.

"How long do you think she'll last?" Abby asked, her greenish hazel eyes wide.

"Ten seconds," Ziva stated, bluntly.

"Oh, harsh, Zee-va," Tony smirked, emphasizing her name. "I would have at least given the probie fifteen. Hey, Timmy, you aren't the probie anymore!"

"It's Tim," McGee sighed, heavily and slight roll of his eyes. It was apparent that he endured this teasing often, and had become apathetic. Well, mostly apathetic. "She isn't even blinking," he added, a tone admiration in his voice.

Gibbs snorted, but there was no amusement there. Evelyn's eyebrows rose just a hair, more bemused by the comments then really amused. Uncrossing her arms off her chest, she gave a heavy sigh. "Look, I get that you aren't happy…about this arrangement. I'm not exactly thrilled about it either," she stated, honestly. Honesty was after all the best policy…at least, up to a point. "But I will respect you, if you respect me."

"Respect is earned, not given," Gibbs shot back, firmly.

"And I give as good as I get," Evelyn shot back. "I don't do the power games, and I certainly don't put up with them. Especially not for three months, so you can't stop with the attempt at intimidation. It will get you nowhere."

Gibbs felt a reluctant spark of admiration surge through him, there weren't many with the nerve to not cringe underneath his stare let only talk back to him. "We'll see about that," he stated, and walked around her. "DiNozzo, what do you got?" He asked, turning to his senior field agent.

The clear dismissal hurt a lot more than she thought it would, but she shook the feeling off as best she could. He didn't know who she was, she reasoned with herself. He owed her nothing, because to him she was nothing more than a newbie agent who clearly wasn't wanted or needed on his team. She pressed her lips into a thin line and fought to keep her chin high and her expression aloof.

Abby decided to have pity on Evelyn. It was clear that she was nervous, and anyone who could stand up to Gibbs without batting an eye earned some points in her eyes. "Gibbs is always like that," Abby assured her, with a slight smile. "Especially to new agents."

"Oh, good. For a second I thought might have thought it was personal," said Evelyn, an edge of sarcasm to her words as she watched Tony give Gibbs a report. Her brows furrowed and she looked over at Abby questioningly. "What's a probie?" Evie asked.

"Newbie," Abby explained.

"Ah," Evelyn still felt confused. Probie sounded like it had more to do with alien encounters than having to do with being new at something. "Right. That makes…sense," she said, uncertainly. "So…looks like we'll be working together," Evelyn said, struggling to get back control of the situation somehow. It felt as the universe was laughing at her, spitefully. It felt like the only reasonable explanation right now as she stared at her father's back. A sense of helplessness washed over her because there was honestly nothing she could do. If she even tried to quit or ask to be transferred, it would bring up so many questions.

_But can I handle looking into my father's face everyday and know that he only sees a stranger? _Emotions swelled in her throat, threatening to choke her and her fingernails bit into the palms of her hands. That plummeting feeling hit her again, like she had just taken a nose drive off a cliff and there was no clear end in sight.

"Looks like!" Abby smiled, brightly. "So…do you bowl?"

"Bowl? As in bowling?" Evie looked confused.

"Yep," Abby said. "So do you?"

Evelyn opened her mouth to reply when the sound of doors slamming silenced her. Everyone in the squad room looked at turned to see the Director storm out of her office. Jenny eyes darted around the squad room before they landed on a familiar head of silver hair. "There you are. You need to get your gear," the Director stated, shortly as she briskly walked down the stairs. Her face was blanched of all color save for the make up she wore, and her eyes were serious. When Gibbs turned towards her, a silent question in his eyes, she gave a deep sigh. "Turn on the news," she said, her expression troubled.

"That's never good," Tony said, sitting up his chair. Ziva stood up straight, and her arms folded over her chest while Timothy frowned. Abby shifted on her heels back and forth nervously. Evelyn stood there, a bemused expression on her face.

"Which?" Gibbs asked.

"It doesn't matter," Jenny stated, and that only made the growing tension in the room intense. Gibbs reached over, and turned on the screen that hung right above Ziva's desk. Instantly the picture flared to life and the picture of a pharmacy appeared on the screen.

"…_just after eight this morning, twenty one year old Darrin West, a lifelong resident of the DC area, assaulted customers at this pharmacy right behind me." _A reporter stood in front of the pharmacy, holding up her hood with one hand to fend off the blistering rain while she held the mic in the other hand. The screen briefly flickered to a blown up security photo of Darrin West, and Evelyn immediately fixated on the army uniform he was wearing. _"Eye witnesses saw him walking East on Main Street minutes afterward, where he once again lashed out attacking people in the street. He left five people injured in total, and two deceased. He hasn't been seen since then. He was wearing a worn army uniform, and if seen, the police ask civilians not to approach. He is to be considered armed and very, very dangerous."_

"Oh…my God…" Evelyn stared in shock.

"Hell," Gibbs breathed out, running a hand down the back of his neck. It was already going to be hell of day, now it was going to be ten times worse. "Tony, Ziva get your gear. McGee I want to know everything about Darrin West. I want to know where he lived, who he is involved, I want the name of his first childhood pet and I want to know it yesterday," he ordered, and he turned to the Director, his face set into a blank mask. "Local authorities going to be any trouble?"

"They have been told to give NCIS there full cooperation," Jenny stated, quietly.

"Good," he gave a sharp nod. Tony, and headed towards the elevator and he glanced over at Evleyn who stood there uncertain. "You are coming, too, Matthews," he barked, and she jumped ever so slightly. She looked at him with surprise then a bit wary before she turned and made her way to the elevator. Gibbs looked at Jenny, who arched a brow at him. "You better hope your gut instinct was right about her," he warned, darkly.

Jenny smirked. "I know it is," she retorted. "Here. Your new agent is going to need this," Jenny handed over Evelyn Matthew's new badge, and gun.

Gibbs gave Jenny one last look, before taking the weapon and badge and headed out to the squad room without looking back.

* * *

"It's a great house. Very quiet, very private. It has an oversized backyard. That's a big plus. The whole house has been newly renovated. There are upgrades all over the place. Stainless appliances, air-purification system. Total move-in condition. It's full furnished, and all appliances are included," Miss Daisy smiled, broadly as she showcased off the house.

"Ah, that is quite nice," the man's voice came from the other room. His footfalls echoed through the house as he moved about. "I think that you have sold me on this place, Miss Daisy."

_Ah, what an accent. _Miss Daisy cheeks pinked ever so slightly, because the accent complimented the handsome blue eyes man quite nicely. If only she was a few years younger. "I'll have the realtor bring down the paperwork," she smiled brightly, and turned on heel to go make the call before she turned around. "Oh, I may have forgotten to have a neighbor, in the other house. Lovely girl, Evelyn is her name. That won't be a problem will it Mr. North?"

Lucas North rounded the corner, his blue eyes looking around the living space before he turned towards Miss Daisy. "That won't be a problem for me at all," he said, with a charming smile on his lips. "Just tell me where to sign."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Next Chapter: **The case heats up, while tension grows meanwhile Fornell tells what Lucas what exactly he is supposed to do.

**Rrs are appreciated. :D**


	4. Lines Drawn in Sand

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely. Also note that the rating will be upped to Mature (M) in the next couple of chapters.**

Thank you Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, Fantasyfictionwriter, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, andrewjeeves, klosteca, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, and x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x for the follows!

Thank you BurnedSpy, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, andrewjeeves, doggy bye, klosteca, lightningx94, ros9172, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname and winterhailfor the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **thedudewithoutaname, Guest **and** klosteca! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

Guest: Thank you so much. Glad you like it. And the meeting will happen in the next chapter, I am almost finished writing it. :D

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

'**The Line Drawn in the Sand'**

Fear hung in the air, like a heavy weight. Even now hours after the incident, the fear was still so strong that Evelyn could almost taste it. The blood was bright against the white tile floor in the pharmacy, and she stared at it with troubled eyes. The sight of blood would always bother her no matter what. The sheen of liquid crimson sent shivers down her spine. "You alright there, Matthews?" Tony appeared at her side, his brows furrowed. "Not going to upchuck, are you?"

"Charming, Tony," Ziva gave him a flat look. Then her dark eyes flickered towards Evelyn, and she frowned ever so slightly. "Though his question is a valid one. You do look a bit…green?" Ziva stated, uncertain that was the right word.

"It's nothing," Evelyn ran a hand down her face. "I'm fine. It's just…I've never gotten used to the sight of blood," she admitted, with a deep frown.

"You're not the first agent to be sickened by death. McGee almost blew chunks at his first crime scene. You should ask him about it," Tony flashed a smile. Ziva coughed to hide her chuckle, because she knew McGee would not appreciate that. "You just have to find your morgue legs," Tony said to Evelyn, while patting her on the shoulder.

"Morgue legs. Death humor," Evie spared him a humorless smile. "That's cute," she added, with a huffing laugh.

"Cute? _Cute?" _Tony looked offended. "I'm charming! I am charismatic! Not cute," he corrected, his voice took on a sage like quality as if he were bestowing some great wisdom upon her.

"Right…sorry," Evelyn's cheeks hurt so hard because she was trying not to smile. She failed and her lips twisted into a grin of amusement, which did nothing to soothe the man's pride in the slightest.

Tony nearly pouted. "I'm not cute," he defended.

"Of course not, Tony," Ziva said, reaching up and squeezed his cheek like a grandmother would do to a child. Tony pulled away, and glared at her.

"Laugh it up, David," Tony stated, darkly.

"Oh, I am," Ziva said, with a broad grin.

"Matthews," Gibbs barked from behind her.

She tried not the cringe, but she could not help it. The whole ride here had been a tense affair and it was hard to feign ignorance when she knew that without a doubt she was the cause of it. And Gibbs made sure she knew it. He was so sarcastic, and skeptical. He gave her this intense glower that almost made her give into the impulse of hiding her face every time he turned towards her. Instead, she forced her become like steel because she would not give him any more reasons not to like her since he apparently already had a few. She turned towards Gibbs, her expression carefully composed. "There something you need, sir?" She asked.

"Do not call me, sir," Gibbs told her, sharply. "I work for a living."

"Then what am I to call you?" She asked, brows furrowed.

"Boss," Gibbs stated, then held up her badge to showcase it off to her. "Here's your badge. Your gun however, is staying with me. And I will be taking your back up," Gibbs told her, his expression completely nonplused.

"My back up?" Evelyn eyes widened. "You want my back up? Are you insane?"

Gibbs did nothing, except hold out his hand and expecting completely obedience. Evelyn could think of several choice words to call him in that moment, but held them back with a bite to her tongue. She knelt down, and pulled up her pants leg. Taking the gun from its holster, and gave him a glare as she rose to her feet. "If this is some kind of trust exercise, it sucks," she informed him, bluntly and placed the gun his hand. She took the badge and held in a clenched hand watching as he passed off her gun to Ziva to put up somewhere.

"You can keep your knives," Gibbs stated, just to let her know that he knew that she had them on her. Evelyn's eyebrows ticked with annoyance and admiration, but she merely nodded her head at him in acceptance. "Go see if you can help Ducky with anything," Gibbs ordered her. She was going to have to deal with her aversion to blood, sooner or later. Gibbs was going to make it sooner.

"Ducky?" Evelyn shot him a puzzled look.

"Our Medical Examiner," Gibbs stated, his lips turned upward in a smile that really wasn't one.

"Right…medical examiner," Evelyn murmured. "Like the one examining the body right now?" She looked over at the body, and saw an older man knelt beside the body. There was a compassion nature about him, and his eyes were filled with intelligence. She had no doubts that she would get along with the man quite well. Didn't mean that she exactly wanted to go near a dead body. Clenching and unclenching her fists at her side, a cold sweat broke out along her skin and she looked at Gibbs who was waiting patiently. "Yes, si…boss," she corrected herself, and walked towards Ducky with a sense of purpose.

Tony and Ziva watched her go. Tony then said, "Ten bucks says she pukes."

Gibbs glowered at them. "Get to work," he barked, then his eyes looked back at Evelyn. The girl was a web of inconsistency and contradiction that just Gibbs's with a bad flavor in his mouth. She also looked so damn familiar that it was hard to look at her. Hell, he acted like he didn't know who she reminded him of, but he did. She reminded him of Shannon. For a second, when he walked into the squad room he had to do a double take because for a split second he could have sworn she was Shannon. His heart had leapt into his throat, only to plummet seconds after with realization. His fingers clenched around his coffee cup as his eyes scanned the crime scene. "I should have got an aspirin," he muttered, underneath his breath.

Evelyn was careful not to step on any blood, or anything that could be evidence as she made her way to the Medical Examiner's side. There was so much blood, and the smell of it twisted her stomach unpleasantly. She pressed her fingers to her nose, and looked at the fatal wound on his neck. "He bled out almost instantly," Evelyn breathed out.

"Yes," Ducky nodded, solemnly. He then turned to look at her, and cocked his head to the side with a polite smile. "I don't believe we've met," he said, holding out his hand. "Dr. Donald Mallard, but everyone calls me Ducky."

Evelyn shook his hand. "Evelyn Matthews…temporary team member," she introduced herself, with a light shrug of her shoulder.

"Temporary?" Ducky arched a brow.

"It's a three month trail kind of thing," Evie flashed him a slightly sheepish smile. "Is there…anything I can do? Agent Gibbs sent me here to help out," she gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

"Well, that depends," Ducky said, with a twinkle in his eye. "What do you make of this?" He gestured towards the body, and Evelyn had a feeling this was some kind of test.

Her head cocked to the side, she looked over the body and swallowed thickly. "The wound was quick, and efficiently done. No surprise given the fact that Darrin West is a soldier," Evelyn said, her brows furrowed. "But he left in a hurry. He was panic. Afraid. He either could believe he did what he had done, or he was too far gone to make sense of anything."

"And you can tell all that _how_?" Gibbs said, curiously.

Evelyn was proud to say that she did not jump in the slightest. Instead, she tossed him an annoyed look over her shoulder, but wisely did not say anything. Her attitude had done nothing to improve Gibbs mood or impression on her, and honestly she was one step away from being a full on bitch. It just…it just wasn't easy looking at him. Every time she did she felt this tidal wave of emotion nearly knocking her right off her feet. Guilt, pain, longing. She vowed to herself that she would leave the past in the past, but now that she was here…it didn't seem all that simple. And now, she wasn't exactly sure if that was really what she wanted all along.

"The foot prints," she pointed at the blood foot prints that lead all the way towards the door. "If he were calm, they would be a straight shot towards the door. The blood could explain the lack of coordination, but like I said before, Darrin was a soldier. He could have easily compensated for that, but instead the foot prints are messy. He was unsteady, ergo he was panic."

Gibbs tilted his head in consideration, then looked at Ducky. "What do you have for me, Ducky?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm afraid that I will not be much help here, Jethro," Ducky sighed, heavily and rose to his feet. "There isn't much I can tell you about the body that you haven't already learned yourself, or what Miss Matthews hasn't told you."

"So you agree with her assessment?" Gibbs asked, like Evelyn wasn't standing there. A slight pang went through her, but she didn't take it to heart this time. Or at least, she tried not to.

"Yes, I do," Ducky said, shooting a sidelong glance at Jethro with a knowing look. He had known Gibbs for a long time, and knew him far too well. "I would wager that Darrin West behavior obviously stems from some kind of psychotic break. You find what trigger that, then you'll be able to figure out just where your killer went."

Gibbs nodded. He had suspected as much, and he ran his hand through his hair. "Alright, Ducky. You have the all clear to bag him up," Gibbs told him, before he turned on heel.

Evelyn watched him for a long moment, and finally was able to identify the feeling that always caught her off guard around him. Cheated. She felt cheated. Cheated out of the years that she supposed to have her father and mother there. Cheated out of the life she should have, and her gut clenched painfully. Rising to her feet, she brushed her hair out of her face and got to work. It would give her something to take her mind off of the decision she thought she had made, the one she was truly going to have to make.

* * *

Trust is a difficult.

Lucas North hadn't slept in forty-eight hours and he hadn't shaved in twice that long. Four days worth of raspy whiskers covered his jaw, and dark circles hung underneath his eyes. He had worked tirelessly in setting up this house, and it hadn't helped his nerves that Fornell had a few men stick around most of the time. He let out a sigh of relief when they had left, and set about to add his own security measures for his peace of mine.

Trust was a luxury that he could rarely afford, but one, unfortunately, he could not live without. It was difficult, whether finding the right people to trust or trusting the right people to do the wrong thing. Lucas North had to have trust in something. He had trust, though he used that term loosely, in the Agent Fornell in the FBI. He had trust that as long as he proved useful, he would have their backing and with their backing, he had accumulated several 'friends'. Just in case, there came a day that he would no longer be welcomed by the FBI any longer. Lucas sighed heavily, as he set up his apartment to his liking. Everything strategically placed and set up for the ultimate security.

He pulled out a glass from a box when he heard it. The loosen floorboard in the entryway creaking ever so slightly, and he set the glass silently on the counter while he reached under the counter top for one of his many guns he had hidden through out the house. He raised the gun just as the man came around the corner. Lucas had to admit seeing the 'oh, shit' look across Fornell's face gave him more amusement than was really warranted.

"Fornell," Lucas held the gun aimed for a second longer before he set it down on the counter. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked, his voice suspiciously light as he popped two ices cubes out of the tray and dropping them in his glass.

"North, as sharp as ever," Fornell stated, with a half smirk. "I'm here to brief you on all that is expected of you." He tossed the file right in front of Lucas, and leaned forward, braced his knuckled on the marble countertop. "You are to find out what the connection between Evelyn Matthews and Tarasov is. You are to find, and figure out if there is some way to exploit it."

"Tarasov has become aggressive?" Lucas frowned.

"Extremely so. Several governments have stated their worry. Worried that Tarasov has bigger backing," Fornell divulged.

"Terrorists?" Lucas asked.

"Too early to tell." Fornell stated. Lucas eyed him, wondering if Fornell knew more than he was letting on but decided to leave it alone for now. He picked up the file thoughtful, as Fornell continued on, "Evelyn Matthews is currently working for NCIS, so you have to proceed with caution. Last thing we need is NCIS to find out we are tailing one of theirs, and get to some bitter agency disaster over it."

"Duly noted," Lucas stated, and flipped open the file. He skimmed through it. Evelyn Matthews, age 24. Graduated from high school valedictorian. He was honestly not surprised to see a prom queen title, with all the after school stuff she participated with. She seemed like a brilliant home town girl that had gone off to do better things, so how did someone like her end up involved with Tarasov? Lucas thought with a frown.

"Tail her. Befriend her. Hell, screw her if you think it will make her talk. Spy on her anyway you think is best. I don't care how you go about figuring it out. Just figure it out," Fornell ordered, none too nicely. "And do it without get yourself caught or worse."

He glanced at her picture, and he mulled over what Fornell said. It would be no hardship to befriend, even to bed her. She was a beautiful woman, but there was a brief hesitance that Lucas felt at that. Evelyn Matthews wasn't the kind of woman a man used, and threw away lightly. No, she was one that could get underneath a man's skin determined stay there, like a drug and had a man helpless just waiting for another fix. She was the kind of woman that a man like him would never ever have. The kind that had a future far from the seedy dark things that he was knee deep in, and perhaps, he maybe he knew the appeal she had to Tarasov after all. Men were always tempted by the forbidden. "I'll get it done," he stated, his voice firm with a conviction that left him utterly hollow in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

There were days, Eleanor "Elle" Bishop, found that working at the NSA sucked. Today was one of those days. She had been sent out to the Middle East to work on preemptive terror analysis, and had pinpointed several major players on the rise. However, a close call had her called back to Washington D.C., but Elle had little illusions that as soon as the all clear was given that she would be sent right back. And she didn't mind. She did enjoy her job, she helped save lives with the work that she did and she wouldn't trade that for the world. However, she did not enjoy the meetings where she had to seat down with her superiors to give her report. It was frustrating to be talked down, especially when she knew she did damn good work. She knew it was because of her age and that she was female.

Her bosses were all like that, but there were enough that were that made her so happy when she finally got a lunch break that she fled to her favorite restaurant, the Firefly, and got herself the roasted turkey club to go then found herself a nice little spot in the park underneath the shade of a tree and proceed to eat the sandwich with more relish than was necessary. She ignored the strange looks she got, and she finished the food. The familiar food, and the relaxed nature of the park, Elle could feel the tension start ebbing away.

That was until the hairs on the back of her neck rose in warning. A stare was pinned on her, and Elle slowly rose to her feet. Her posture was tense, and she wished she had brought her weapon. That was until she heard a familiar voice come from behind her, "You ever feel like the universe is trying to tell you something?"

Elle spun around, and came face to face with Evelyn Matthews. Her face split into a wide grin as she took in the shock on Elle's face, and she asked, "You miss me?"

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER! I know it's a bit shorter than my usual chapters, but I hope you all enjoyed it! :D**

**Next Chapter: **The case gets heated, and Lucas finally meets Evelyn, just in a way he never expected.

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	5. Water is Sweet, But Blood is Thicker

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely. Also note that the rating will be upped to Mature (M) in the next couple of chapters.**

Thank you Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, Fantasyfictionwriter, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, andrewjeeves, klosteca, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, DS2010, Lady Isabelle Black, JrSnape and x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x for the follows!

Thank you BurnedSpy, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, andrewjeeves, doggy bye, klosteca, lightningx94, ros9172, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, ljcolic, JrSnape and winterhailfor the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **Burned Spy, DS2010, klosteca, **and **JrSnape! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

Not guest reviews at this time.

**I am so happy to have this chapter done. It was giving me all kinds of trouble, I actually had to split it in half because I thought it was way too long, but I happy with the way it turned out. And I hope you will be too. :D**

If I had to chose who I saw playing adult Kelly**: Rebecca Herbst. **I love her from General Hospital since she started on the show over fifteen years ago when she was a teenager, and have continued to love her through her good times and her bad times. She is an amazing and beautiful actress and I think she would make a perfect Kelly Gibbs.

The Song that Inspired this Chapter: **"Obilivious" **by Earlyrise. Check it out on you tube.

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

'**Water is Sweet, but Blood is Thicker'**

There were several things happening in that moment. A dog chased a Frisbee, a couple strolled hand in hand with sickly, sweet smiles on their face, and Elle Bishop's mouth dropped clear open. Her brown eyes widened in shock, and for a moment, it seemed she couldn't form words. "You're alive! Oh, my God! You are alive! Hallelujah!" Elle launched herself forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Evelyn, who had a bit of an bemused look on her face. She shook her head ever so slightly, biting back a laugh.

"Too much?" Elle asked, in a whisper.

"The hallelujah was a bit over the top, yeah," Evelyn gave a laugh, and Elle pulled away with a huff, crossed her arms over her chest.

"Everyone's a critic," Elle said, her lips twitched upward.

Evelyn tilted her head to the side, a questioning gleam in her eyes as she gestured between the two of them. "What was that exactly about?" She asked, with an eyebrow arched in ill hidden amusement.

"Well, I had to be somewhat convincing just in case someone was watching," Elle stated, with a serious frown and hands placed on her hips. "I'm not exactly supposed to know you're alive, in case you have forgotten."

"I have not forgotten and no one is watching," Evelyn stated, dryly. It had been almost a year since she had last been in contact with Elle, face to face that was. They had traded several emails through secure accounts, and was a lifeline in the sea of chaos that her life had spiraled down into. When Elle gave her an unconvinced look, she continued on, "I'm positive no one is watching. No one is looking for Evelyn Matthews. As far as the world is concerned Evelyn Matthews is no one that important."

She walked over to the nearby bench, and sat down on it with wary sigh. Elle hesitated for the briefest of seconds before she took a seat beside her old friend. "As far as everyone knows…I'm a silent spy now," she said, her voice hushed and quiet.

"The only silent spy-" Elle began.

"Is a dead one," Evelyn finished, with a half. "I remember."

Something flickered in Elle's gaze. "There…" she hesitated, and nervously tapped her fingers against her thigh. "There was a mole, wasn't there? I mean, you told me that something bad had happened, and I heard through the grapevine…well, I heard some things. Evelyn, did they-"

"Yes," Evelyn cut her off, and closed her eyes. She braced her elbows on her knees, and leaned her forehead down on the knuckles of her entwined hands. That was a time in her life that she would rather forget all together. It brought up so much pain, so much betrayal that it left her physically ill. She drew in a breath, and then let it out slowly. "There was a leak…and it cost us. Just like you theorized."

Elle looked down, and there were several moments where neither of them spoke. Evelyn stared out across the park, taking in the people who were all content and happy enjoying the perfect day. It was complete contrast to her mood, and that thought made her feel strangely empty.

"I don't like being right sometimes," Elle whispered. Her brown eyes held sincere regret, and she reached out to give Evelyn's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "I am sorry. I don't know if I told you that, or not."

Evelyn sighed. "And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," she finally said, and ran her hands over her face. She rested her chin in her hands, and she tried to muster up a smile. It fell flat because she couldn't quite suppress the nausea that swept over her as the memories threatened to boil to the surface. "How have you been Elle?" She asked, eager to change the subject to something more safe.

"Better than you," Elle said, with a half smile. "The NSA has me very busy. Especially in the Middle East. I'm sure they are going to send me back there as soon as they deem it safe enough."

"It'll never be safe enough," Evie said.

"I know, but the work is worth it," Elle stated, with a shrug. "If it means I can stop one bad person from being able to hurt another, or stop an attack that could devastated thousands of lives…the danger is worth it." She then flashed Evelyn a smile. "But you would already know that, wouldn't you?"

"Better than most," Evelyn conceded with a nod.

Elle paused for a moment, then shot Evelyn a very serious look. "Why did you come find me, Evie? Not that I'm not happy to see you," Elle pointed out, carefully. "But if you are wanting to hide from prying eyes like I know you do, visiting old friends isn't what you should be doing."

Evelyn hesitated, and then hated herself for it. Trust had never been easy for Evelyn, but now she could hardly find it in her heart to place trust in anyone even though logically she knew that she could trust Elle. She wasn't like _them, _and yet Evelyn hesitated. Licking her lips, she looked down at her feet. "I needed an ear," she said, softly and looked like the human version of dog with its tail between its legs.

"I have a couple to spare," Elle said, softly.

Her heart hammered inside her chest, and she dropped her head into her hands feeling a piece inside her unravel every so slightly. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or not. "…I may have underestimated something," Evelyn admitted, a hesitance in her voice. "I got a job…as a field agent at NCIS," she dropped the bomb, with a wan smile.

Elle stared at her for a moment. "NCIS. Naval Criminal Investigation Service. The NCIS that your father works at?" Elle hissed out underneath her breath. "I thought you were dead set against digging up the past?"

"I was!" Evelyn said, defensively. "I was," she repeated, a little more quieter. "But…now, I'm not sure if I can leave the past alone…" She gnawed on her bottom lip, and shifted on the bench. "I saw my dad, and it felt like I had been hit by a bullet. He walked past me, like I was nothing because to him I am nothing. I am nothing to my father, and I did not realize how badly that hurt until that moment."

"Evelyn," Elle looked at her sadly.

"And now…I've been assigned to his team," Evelyn croaked out, her eyes staring out at the distance with a glossy sheen to them. Her jaw felt tight and there was a lump in the back of her throat. "I didn't…realize how much I missed him. It was easier when it was in the back of mind, with all the memories. Now, it's going to be in my face everyday. I'm going to have to work side by side with him everyday."

"Ah. The universe trying to tell you something. That's what that meant," Elle finally understood. "Evelyn, what were thinking?"

"I had a moment of insanity, okay? I just thought…I don't know what I thought. Elle, I really don't know what I'm going to do. This could open a whole other can of worms that I don't need right now. Not so…not so soon after everything that happened," Evelyn swallowed thickly. She felt her hands tremble, and folded them in her lap in a desperate attempt to keep them still.

"But you're thinking about doing it anyways," Elle said, with an eyebrow raised. "Aren't you?"

"I am," Evelyn nodded.

"A moment of insanity?"

"Probably," Evie ducked her head, with a sad and wry smile. There was this feeling in her chest, an ache in her heart and she repeated in a whisper, "Probably."

* * *

"Okay," Tony stated, loudly to get everyone's attention while he placed his phone back into its cradle. "Well, I have a lead, but it's a bit of good news and bad news. It does seem that Darrin West has a bit of medical history with…" He made a gesture towards his head, and shook his head. "Mental problems. So much so that he was committed to a psychiatric hospital a year ago."

"Just like we suspected," Ziva murmured.

Gibbs tapped his finger impatiently on his desk, when he spotted his missing agent getting out of the elevator. His eyes narrowed upon her and when she approached them he immediately pounced. "Where have you been, Matthews?" Gibbs demanded.

She sent him this flat look, with a humorless edge to her smile. "Follow up on a lead…boss," she added, as an afterthought more than out of respect. "What were you saying, Tony?" She prompted DiNozzo to continue with his lead.

"Oh, right. So before I was rudely interrupted…" Tony trailed off when he caught Gibbs giving him a narrowed eyed look. "Not that I minded, boss. Feel free to interrupt me anytime."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs's hand twitched.

"Right! Anyways the good news, depending on how you look at it, is the doctors at hospital did confirm that Private West was treated there several months ago," Tony told all of them.

"And the bad news, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"The doctors are refusing to tell me what he was treated for, and said they wouldn't release the information without a subpoena," Tony delivered the news, and then cringed a bit away as if expected head slap.

Gibbs sighed, with a heavy frown upon his lips. "Then we'll just have to jump through some legal hoops, now won't we?" He stated, and gave McGee a pointed look.

"Jumping through legal hoops?" Evelyn raised an eyebrow at the term, and cocked her head to the side. "When you mean legal hoops you mean try to get Darrin West medical records without a subpoena, don't you?" She asked, with her hands on her hips.

"Jenny said you were clever," Gibbs stated, and Evelyn shot him a dark look knowing there was a backhanded comment in that sentence somewhere.

"Isn't that a bit illegal?" Evie asked.

"It's a gray area," Tony shrugged.

"How gray?" Evelyn looked amused.

Tony rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Probably around the charcoal kind of shade," he finally replied, with a smirk.

"Right." Evelyn nodded, a bit patronizingly. "Well, I guess it is lucky for you that I managed to locate someone that might be able to help with that, so we will have no legal hoops to be jumping through." She held out the paper in her hand to Gibbs, and Gibbs took it slowly. "Rebecca West."

"Wife?" Ziva guessed.

"Sister," Evelyn corrected, lightly. "And she is his power of attorney. So if you can convince her, you might be able to her to give you West medical records."

Was Gibbs surprised that Evelyn actually was following a lead than slacking off? A bit, but there was caution to her gaze when she answered and he had a feeling that a lead was not all she was following up on. He didn't like not knowing things. Knowledge, or lack there of, could mean the very difference between life and death for anyone in this job. He rose from his desk, and stared Evelyn down for a good moment. "Good job, Matthews." And with that Gibbs walked away.

Evelyn stood there, still as a statue and her mouth dropped open in shock. She blinked, and blinked again before her jaw snapped shut with an audible click. She looked at Ziva who looked vaguely amused, then at Tony and McGee who looked as shocked as she felt. "Did he…did he just…" She couldn't even form the words, or make sense of the feeling that rose in the pit of her chest.

"He did." Tony stated, a bit bemused. "It's a bit unnerving, like stepping into the twilight zone."

Evelyn tossed him a look. "Do you ever go a day without quoting something or making a reference?" She asked, with a half smile.

"Never," Tony stated.

"Where…where is going?" Evelyn shook her head ever so slightly, trying not to dwell on the burst of warmth that went through her when she had comprehended Gibbs's words. Was she so desperate for her father's attention that she was prepared to take any scraps he threw her way? Probably. Damn it, she was so screwed up.

"One of Darrin West's commanding officers has come into to give a statement," McGee informed her, his fingers clicking away on the keyboard. His brows furrowed in concentration.

"Well, hopefully that will turn up more leads than we are," Ziva stated, more than a little exasperation in her tone. "We will be clucking like a chicken with it's legs cut off."

"Uh…" Evelyn eyebrows rose into her hair.

"What?" Ziva shot her a look.

"It's running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, David. Not clucking, or legs cut off," Tony corrected, with a broad smirk.

"What? How does a chicken run with its head cut off? It would be dead," Ziva gave Tony an affronted look.

"Oh, they do," Tony told her. "It's actually really disturbing. You see-"

"Let's not," Evelyn cut him off.

"Oh, that's right. You have a thing about blood," Tony remembered, and the cocked his head to the side.

The mere mention of blood made Evelyn's stomach roll as visions of red crashed through her mind. Her jaw clenched tightly and she gave Tony the stink eye while she walked over to McGee's desk. He had graciously allowed her to put her things until her desk was set up. "I'm going to go see if I can get a hold of Rebecca West," she walked off, and Tony looked around vaguely wounded.

"Was it something I said?" Tony asked.

Ziva and McGee just rolled their eyes.

* * *

Sunlight poured through the windows, illuminating the entire room. "I knew Private Wells personally, sir," Private First Class Meriwether said, his expression taunt and his eyes serious as he sat ramrod straight in the chair adjacent from Gibbs. "He was a good man. A good soldier. He was loyal to home, and country. To hear what his done…it's inconceivable."

"Can you think of any reason that he would do what he has done?" Gibbs asked, his blue eyes narrowed upon the man.

Meriwether hesitated.

"What is it?" Gibbs prompted.

"Private West was discharged honorable, but the circumstances beforehand weren't all that….honorable," Meriwether admitted, more than a little hesitant. "Darrin West was part of a squadron sent to take down a rogue terrorist cell in Iraq."

"Didn't end well?" Gibbs hazarded a guess.

"That is an understatement," Meriwether sighed, heavily. "There was an ambush. The squadron was caught off guard, and most of them were slaughter. Darrin is one of three that survived out of a group of twenty. It took quite a toll on Darrin."

"How so?" Gibbs asked.

"After the attack, Darrin was sent back to the states to recover. While his body recovered…his mind didn't, sir. He became increasingly distrusting, and was always paranoid. He even went as far as to make allegations against Devon Corp," Meriwether stated, with a deep frown. "In the end, it was decided to have him discharged."

Gibbs nodded, and shut the file on the table. "Thank you for your time, and if you can think of anything else," he handed him a card with his number as well as his agents number on it before he rose. He walked out the door only to nearly run into someone, and he sighed when he realized that person was Evelyn. "What do you want, Matthews?" He demanded.

She bristled, and gave him a look before she drew her spine upward. "I called Rebecca West. She has agreed to speak with us, and said we could meet her at her house at five this evening," Evelyn informed, and it felt like a stone fell into the bottom of her stomach. _So much for warming up_, she thought with more than a little frustration. _It's only your first day. Your first case. Trust takes time. _She tried to reason with herself, but she couldn't help, but to feel a bit disheartened.

Gibbs tilted his head ever so slightly. "Alright. Get DiNozzo. We'll head out in ten," Gibbs told her, with a

"We…as in me, too?" She asked for clarification.

"It's your lead, Matthews. You have to help see it through."

She stood there for a long moment, perhaps half expecting him to take his words back before a small, genuine smile appeared on her face. "Alright, boss," she gave a nod, and turned to go find DiNozzo. It was the first time she called him boss, without a begrudging tone to her voice.

* * *

"Boss, the door," was all Tony said, before the instantly went on alert. The front door to Rebecca West's house was cracked open ever so slightly, and from the splintering around the latch, it had been kicked in. Gibbs drew out his weapon in one swift movement, while Tony braced his back against the wall, his gun drawn as well.

"Matthews, stay," Gibbs barked.

Evelyn was about to protest, but thought better of it. She only had her knives, and Gibbs still hand her guns. "Yes, boss," her jaw clenched tightly, and her eyes glittered with reluctance. "I'll just guard the car," she added, because she just couldn't pass up an opportunity to be sarcastic.

Gibbs rolled his eyes for a split second, before he nudged the door open with his foot, and cautiously made his way into the house with Tony covering his six. Evelyn stood there, staring as the door slowly inched back a covered them from her view. Uneasiness weighed down upon her heavily, and she suddenly got the distinct feeling something was off. The front door kicked in was a big giveaway, no doubt about that, but there was something else. Something that bothered her.

Narrowing her eyes, she moved to step forward when she caught the sound, just barely. Footsteps rushing towards her, and she whirled around only to catch a fist straight to her temple. Pain throbbed through her skull, and nausea boiled in her gut. She felt hands grab at her, and she punched and kicked…until she felt a blade pressed tightly against her throat. "Don't make a sound," a voice warned.

A flash of panic, one that was quickly followed by anger and her hand reached up, grasping his. His hold on her was solid, and it would be too much effort to try fight him off. Especially with a blade at her throat, she would be killed before she could even try. "Let me guess…Darrin West?" She mused outloud, and the grip tightened, and the blade nicked her throat. A shudder ran through her, and she swallowed heavily. "Let go of me," she demanded, quietly. The heat from his palm had turned scorching, and fear seared through her body. Her blue eyes stared down the hallway to the doorway that obscured Gibbs from her vision, and she resisted the urge to call out.

"I had to do it," Darrin sounded frantic. "She was going to do it to me. She was going to do it to me."

"Oh…kay," Evelyn said, uncertain. She needed to find a way out of this. Perhaps if she could get Darrin's trust, he might be more inclined to let her go. But that begged the question: How did you get the trust of an insane man? "Who…who is…"

"Rebecca…that _bitch_," his voice was low and gravely filled with so much rage and anger that it left Evelyn ice cold. There was no doubt inside of Evelyn's mind that Rebecca was dead. The front door creaked open and Evelyn's eyes flashed upward with more than a little panic in them.

"Matthews-" Gibbs cut off, abruptly. His eyes narrowed, quietly assessing the situation and he immediately had his gun raised. "Let her go, now," he demanded, darkly.

Darrin didn't say a word. He shook his head, his dark eyes wild and angry. There was so much anger there that it honestly took Gibbs back for a second, however his hand did not waver. He felt Tony moved behind him, but not come around the corner. His eyes glanced towards Evelyn for a split second. Her face was pale, and her eyes were wide, but there was more anger than panic on her face.

Her eyes were glittering, shooting sparks as her anger began to conquer any amount of fear. She needed to stay in control—to put her trust in Gibbs to help see her out of this. She took deep and even breaths, and she was determined when she got out of this that this man was going to get everything he deserved. Darrin started walking backwards, and Evelyn had no choice, but to go with him. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage, and she struggled ever so slightly. She stopped when she felt the knife dig deeper into her throat, and felt the blood drip down her throat.

Gibbs made to follow, but Darrin immediately went off. "NO! YOU WILL STAY! YOU WILL STAY OR I WILL KILL HER!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Gibbs's expression didn't falter, but his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Matthews…" He began, but he saw Evelyn give a small shake of her head.

"It'll be okay, boss," she said, shakily though she wasn't as certain about that as she would like to be. Gibbs stood there, silent never lowering his gun, not even an inch as Darrin pulled around the corner of the house. Evelyn closed her eyes and concentrated on the hold Darrin held her in. She had to bide her time, she told herself. He would ease up eventually, move to adjust his hold and then she would get him. Several seconds passed, then she felt Darrin shift ever so slightly and the pressure of the blade eased up off her throat.

She immediately twisted, shoving his arms away from her with her elbows and ducked downward to avoid the knife he indeed on stabbing her in the throat with. His other hand still held her arm in a vice grip, and she leaned down, burying her teeth into his flesh. He cried out and brought the knife down, but Evelyn had already rolled out of the way. Darrin collapsed to his knees, for he threw his entire body into the motion.

Evelyn scrambled to put distance between her and Darrin, in an awkward backwards crab like crawl. With murder in his eyes, Darrin rose to his feet and was about to rush towards her when Tony came around the corner of the house with a shout. "Freeze!" As soon as he caught sight of the gun, panic flashed through Darrin's eyes and he bolted. "I said freeze!" Tony shouted.

"Matthews," Gibbs was at her side in an instant.

"I'm fine! I'm alright," she pushed herself off the ground, and Gibbs grabbed her arm helping her to her feet. She reached up touching where the blade had nicked her throat, and cursed at the sight off blood on her fingers. "Rebecca West?" She asked, breathlessly. "Is she…?"

Gibbs shook his head, and Evelyn cursed again. She raised a trembling hand to her forehead, and it felt like all the energy was sapped right out of her. Tony came running back around the house, his face tight and his expression was not one that was exactly encouraging. As he reached their side, he let out a deep sigh and wiped the sweat from his brow. "He got away. He had a car waiting," Tony explained, breathlessly.

"You get a license plate number?" Gibbs barked.

"Yes," Tony nodded.

"Get on the phone. Get the number and description to McGee now," Gibbs barked out. "I want a bolo out on it now!"

Tony nodded, and stepped away to pull out his cellphone. Gibbs turned back towards Evelyn, who looked way too pale.

"I want my guns back," it was supposed to come out as a demand, but instead her voice felt weak. Her chest felt tight, too tight to breath and she trembled from her head down to her toes. The adrenaline drained out of her leaving her feel downright exhausted. She leaned over, with her hands on her knees and took in deep, desperate breaths.

Gibbs stared at her for a long moment. "What you are feeling…it's perfectly normal," Gibbs told her, and she supposed it was meant to be comforting.

"Well, that's a frightening thought," Evelyn heaved out, tightly. She closed her eyes for a half a second before she stood upright, and wobbled on her legs ever so slightly. "I should have known something was wrong."

"We all missed it, Matthews," Gibbs told her.

Her eyes flashed, and she jerked her head towards him. "I didn't miss it. I saw it. I saw something was wrong and I just ignored it. I ignored it until it almost-" Evelyn abruptly cut off and brushed her bangs out of her face with a huff.

Gibbs gave her a peculiar look. "Why do I have a feeling that we are no longer talking about Darrin West and his sister?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Evelyn paused, for the briefest of seconds and realized that she let out more than she intended. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest and she opened her mouth to give some kind of reply. Nothing came out right away, and she just shook her head. Tiredly, she bowed her head. "It's nothing. Just…nothing…" She wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand and through up at him through the fringes of her hair. "Private West isn't stupid. Mad, yes. Crazy as hell, yes. But not stupid. He'll ditch that car first chance he gets."

"Maybe. But it gives us somewhere to start," Gibbs took a deep breath, and stood straighter if possible. "And Matthews as soon as we to NCIS…"

"Yeah?" Evelyn said, with a tilt of her head when he trailed off.

"You need to change. Those clothes are evidence now," he told her, and turned away leaving her a bit dumbfounded. She reached up and touched her jacket, and grimaced at the blood and dirt that covered her thanks to West.

"I think he's warming up to you," Tony told her, with a half smile.

She gave him a look of disbelief. "Really?" She asked, eyebrow arched.

"Nope."

* * *

The squad room was abuzz with activity. The latest news on Darrin West quickly spread around, and Evelyn avoided the stares carefully, as she wrapped her arms around her midsection tightly. She paced the length between the desks, and kept her eyes cast downwards as she was deep in thought. Her mind was racing over what happened just a few hours earlier, trying to remember some clue that would lead them straight to Darrin West.

"He was having a psychotic break," Ziva sighed. "He probably didn't realize what he was doing. He probably doesn't even realize that he has killed his sister."

"No, no," Evelyn shook her head, tapping a pen incessantly against her knuckles as she paced between their desks. "A psychotic break led to him snapping in the pharmacy. This…this was rage. Plain and simple. He knew _exactly _who his sister, so that leaves the question: Why?" She gnawed on her bottom lip.

"Now, you are thinking like a detective, probie," Tony stated, and clapped her on the shoulder.

Evelyn tensed at the unexpected touch, every fiber of being willed her to react by twisting his arm behind his back, but she refrained barely. Slowly, she reacted and grabbed his hand, applying just enough pressure to get her point across. "Do not call me probie," Evelyn told him, firmly. "It will end badly for you."

"Oh…kay," he slowly retracted his hand. "Alright, well. The sister, I found out, stood to inherit a pretty penny if he died. Their father's estate was apparently worth about a million, however it was to be split between the two of them. But if one of them dies," Tony started.

"The other gets their share," Ziva caught his meaning. "Money is always a great motive for murder."

"Except she is the one who got murdered, not him," Evelyn pointed out.

"True," Tony inclined his head. "But you said it yourself. Darrin killed his sister in a rage. He had to be angry about something…"

"And that something could have led to his psychotic break," McGee finally raised his head from the computer screen. "I think you might be half right, Tony."

"Half-right?" Tony frowned.

"Rebecca West didn't need her brother dead. She just had to get…" McGee went to stand, but that was kind of hard to do with a wounded leg. He flopped back into the computer chair with a look of concentration on his face.

"I've got you, Tim."

The only warning McGee got was the smirk that flickered across Tony's face before Tony sprinted over towards him, and took a hold of the back of the computer chair and rolled him forward at an alarming spin. With a finally twist, Tim came to a stop between Gibbs's and Ziva's desk. "There you go," Tony patted him on the shoulder. McGee didn't even have the energy to muster up a glare, he was too worried about keeping his lunch down.

The greenish hue of his skin was not lost on Evelyn, and as discreetly as she could passed him the trashcan. "Thank…you," McGee groaned out, and handed her the files so he could wrap both arms around the trash can and lean his face over it. Thank god, the janitor had just cleaned them. He really did not want to get up closer and personal with DiNozzo's trash.

"Hey! No thanks for me?" Tony teased, with a broad smirk. Ziva looked away and tried to suppress her smirk while Evelyn's eyebrows rose into the air and she looked at him with pity. The hairs on Tony's neck and rose, his smile dropped. "Boss," he said, lightly.

"You done…DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked. Tony slowly turned around and came face to face with Gibbs's no nonsense stare. He slowly cleared his throat and raise his own hand, and slapped the back of his head hard. The corners of Gibbs's mouth twitched ever so slightly, and he walked around DiNozzo, with his signature coffee cup in hand. "What do we got?" He asked.

"Uh, well," McGee gestured to Evelyn.

"Oh, right. Sorry," Evelyn flipped the paper over and a jolt of shock ran through her as she stared at the words as if she couldn't believe them. _This actually would explain a lot. More than a lot, _she thought darkly.

"Matthews," Gibbs barked, and she jumped. She met his gaze, and he arched an eyebrow. "Would you like to share with the rest of the class?" He asked.

"West's medicine got canceled by a R. West about a month and a half ago," Evelyn told them, after she gave Gibbs a dry look.

"What?" Tony blinked. "What would the sister get out of canceling her brother's medication?"

"If Darrin was found incapable of making his own decisions, and was committed then she stood to gain control of his money, his assets, everything. He wasn't married. Had no kids. She was his only family. Without his medicine, Darrin would become unstable," Evelyn stated, with a dark twist of her lips. She handed over the paper to Gibbs for him to inspect.

"And Rebecca would get everything she wanted," Ziva finished, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "However that does not explain how he went from being a capable soldier to a hot mesh in the period of months."

"Hot mess," Tony corrected.

"What?" Ziva looked at him.

"It's a hot mess, not mesh," Tony told her.

"Oh." Ziva eyes widened with comprehension. "Suddenly, it makes a lot more sense."

Evelyn hand her fingertips pressed together in front of her lips, as she got the strangest feeling that she was missing something again entered her mind. Her brows were pinched, and she shifted nervously on the heels of her feet. "Card," she murmured, as the vision flashed through her mind as clear as day. When she struggled with Darrin, she caught the glimpse of a card in his pocket. She had no why idea it felt so important, but it.

"What card?" Tony shot her a look.

"Darrin's pocket…I saw this card," Evelyn said, running her fingers through her hair. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to recall the words on the card, but there were like a blur inside her mind. "Damn it. I can't remember, but I know it is something important. Really important."

"It will come back to you. Just got to give it time," Tony told her.

"Where have heard that before?" Evelyn muttered, more than a little bit bitter underneath her breath. She paused, and glanced up at saw all of them look at her with strange expression. "Never mind. That last bit wasn't important. I just…I just need a moment to breath."

Evelyn turned and began to walk off. It had been a while since she had found herself in such a situation, and there was a time she would have handled herself better. Now, she could feel her lungs tightening with panic as a painful fear began to pound through her blood. "Matthews," Gibbs called out.

Evelyn sighed, and turned towards him. "Yes, boss?" She crossed her arms over her chest, and looked up at him with a carefully blank expression.

"Go home, Matthews," Gibbs said. "Get some rest."

She blinked up at him, as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. Shock and surprised flashed through her eyes before she shook her head. "Look, boss, I am fine," Evelyn stated, defensively. For a moment, he actually looked like he was concerned. But was it genuine? Evelyn hadn't realized until that moment that she really did want him to genuinely care about her, and it made her frown deeply. "I just need a moment to catch my breath is all."

"You need more than a moment," Gibbs told her, gruffly. Gibbs might not have liked how Evelyn came to be on his team, but he wasn't a heartless bastard. "Have a knife pressed to your throat can be quite traumatizing, especially given that this is your first case."

"And I can assure you, Agent Gibbs, that I have had a lot worse," she held his stare steadily. "Look, I don't need to be coddled. And before for you even suggest me seeing the resident NCIS psychiatrist, I have already met him. He's a dick, and I'd rather avoid baring my soul again, if you don't mind."

Gibbs gave her a flat look, one that conveyed how little he believed her words. "You hands are shaking," he pointed out, lightly.

"Wha…" Evelyn trailed off, as she looked down at her hand. Indeed, they were quivering at her sides and she clenched her fingers into fists in an attempt to keep them still. "It's nothing," she mumbled, her eyes cast downward.

"Or you are still in shock," Gibbs said, sharply. "Go home, Matthews. You need your rest, and I don't need you here if you aren't at a hundred percent."

Evelyn reeled back as if physically struck. "I can't go home. Not in the middle of a case," she stuttered out, wildly.

"We are a capable team. We've managed to solve cases before you came along, and we can solve this one without you," Gibbs stated, dryly. He was prepared for her to step down, but he wasn't prepared for the wounded look she gave him. It struck him hard in the gut, and he watched those wounded eyes turn a shade of empty in a second flat.

"Wow…what a nice way to say I'm not needed," Evelyn stated, her voice held a slight tremble. Her expression however, did not waver in the slightest.

Gibbs eyes narrowed. "Don't put words in my mouth, Matthews," he said, his voice rumbled and his expression pinched. Evelyn did have potential to be a good agent, Jenny was right. However, he didn't think his team needed another agent, that was a given. He wasn't going to say that aloud. There was not point in kicking someone when they were down, and he wasn't that cruel.

"Not putting words in your mouth, sir. Just listening to the ones coming out of it," said Evelyn, with a smile that held a sharpness to it.

"Boss, not sir," he corrected, darkly.

"No. You are a sir, and will be one until I start seeing someone I can actually call 'boss'," Evelyn stated, her chest heaving up and down as a swirl of emotions threatened to drag her under like a riptide. "I'll leave you and _your _team to it."

Without another word, she walked into the elevator and kept her eyes downward. She didn't want to meet his gaze again, didn't want him to see past her mask that was quickly beginning to crack. Gibbs watched the elevator doors slid shut, with the strangest sinking sensation in the pit of his gut. Running a hand across his face tiredly, he turned and walked back towards his team. He had a case to solve, and he had not time to spare on hurt feelings.

* * *

Evelyn stared at the boxes, she had yet to open. The anger that had kept her going on the drive home was gone, replaced by a sadness. She heaved a sigh, and dropped her keys onto the counter and walked around the boxes, she couldn't muster up the energy right now to finish unpacking. She slipped off her jacket and tossed it aimlessly at a chair, not caring that it did not reach its mark. Her heart beat was a slow, steady thud against her ear drums as she made her way up the stairs slowly, her eyes half closed. She was only vaguely aware of the world around her as she stumbled into her master bedroom, which like the rest of her house was halfway unpacked. At least, she had her bed. She loved that bed, she looked at it longingly. There was nothing she wanted more than to flop onto the mattress and sink into a dreamless oblivion.

However, the feeling of grime and sweat against her skin propelled her to the master bath. She peeled off the clothes, one piece at a time before she stumbled into the large stand up shower. The white and blue tile gave her a sense of serenity, and inanely reminded her of the ocean. Twisting on the hot water, she jumped at the spray of cold water that came down on her without a second of warning. She let out a shuddering and choked noise, and wrapped her arms around her midsection. It took only a few seconds for the water to turn boiling hot, and she closed her eyes and stepped underneath the spray.

She scrubbed her skin clean with a fury, and perhaps she thought if she scrubbed hard enough that she could cleanse the day away. As she brought the rag across her skin, her fingertips brushed across so many scars. The ones upon her skin had long since healed. The ones that lied deeper still bleed every damn day.

_Cold, it was always so cold…_

_Her hands were going numb, suspended above her head by a rope…_

_A blade coated in blood…_

_Her screams echoed off the walls…_

Her firs slammed into shower wall, and a painful breath shuddered through her lungs. Her eyelashes fluttered as the droplets of water ran down her face and her knuckles exploded with pain. She closed her eyes, and for a moment let the pain consume her. It ripped and torn ever last wound inside her heart, and let them bleed out. How could she trust anyone? How could she let anyone see? How broken she was? How those that she trusted had betrayed her? How they tossed her to the enemy like she was garbage and they let them _hurt_ her? Hurt her so bad that she lost everything, even herself? How they thought a pat on the back, and money was enough to make up for it all? A sob broke through her lips before she could help it, and she let her hand drop to the side.

The water ran red and swirled down the drain. Her blue eyes watched for several seconds mesmerized by the sight, and numbly she reached up and turned off the water. Stepping out of the shower, she shivered as the cold air eagerly brushed across her skin. She grabbed a towel, and wrapped around herself. After grabbing the first aid kit from underneath the vanity, she sat on her bed and bandaged up her knuckles gently. She wiggled her fingers, testing the bandages before she was satisfied they were tight enough without cutting off her circulation.

How had her life become this? The question always hit her like a ton of bricks. Several things came to mind, her choices were a bit part of it. However, everything led back to the crash. If her mother had never been willing to testify against Pedro, then they would never have been in that crash. She would have never lost her mother, would have never lost her father, would have never lost her memories. The trauma, both physical and mental, had stolen away years of her life. By the time, she had gotten them back…she couldn't see a way to go back. Maybe she had made things more complicated then they actually were. Too afraid to actually go through with it and made excuses, until…things really did get to complicated for her to go back.

And yet, here she was. Her heart hurt and she felt the familiar sting of tears. She quickly she closed her eyes to keep them a bay. There was so much guilt, so painful, that it made her physically sick. How much had they missed? How many nightmares had she went through without someone to comfort her afterwards? When she got her first boyfriend, there had been no mother to confide in, and then when her first boyfriend broke her heart, there was no father to beat him up. So many moment she had missed out on because of that stupid accident. But everything that happened afterwards…that was on her.

Did she want to get to know her father? To have him know her not simply as an agent, but as his daughter? More than anything. More than anything in the world. Did she think that is was realistic expectation? No. As far as Leroy Jethro Gibbs was concerned, she was dead. He mourned for her, and moved on. Not only would she be opening wounds, both his and hers. She couldn't deny the fear that was always the thought in the back of her mind, that _they _would come back and finish what they started.

It felt like too much of a risk. And as much as she hated to admit it, it left her scared. So scared that it made her heart hurt. Evelyn rose and made her way towards her desk that sat right in front of the large window. The wood was dark mahogany, stained a dark rich ebony color with square inlay in the top of the desk, with a picture of Forget-Me Nots on it. The desk was something she had crafted herself. A fond smile crossed her lips remembering the time her father taught her how to sand wood. "_Work with the grain," _he guided her tiny hand in his and he smiled so big down at her when she got it right. She sniffed, and brushed the lone tear that ran down her cheek.

She leaned down and reached underneath the lip of the desk, her finger seeking for the tiny knob that laid hidden underneath and pressed down on it. The square inlay of a forget-me-not on the top of the desk, popped upward. Evelyn gently grasped it and pulled it out of the way. Old letters, an old jewelry box and several other things sat down inside the desk. She lifted the lid off the jewelry box, and peered down inside. There was a locket, a bracelet with a large blue stone and one ring inside it. It was a wedding ring. It was her mother's.

She gently picked it up, a heart wrenching feeling rushed through her chest. The diamonds were still as clear as day, the shape of tear and the silver swirled around them, protectively. Her father picked it out himself for her mom. Swallowing thickly, she placed it back into the jewelry box. Her pulse jumped against her throat, and there was an ache deep inside of her. Like an empty place inside her chest that she had forgotten about until now. Letting out a long breath, she picked up the bracelet. It looked like a cheap bracelet, one bought at the ninety nine cent store.

_So inconspicuous, _she thought as she let it dangle from her fingers, then she grasped the stone between her fingertips and carefully, she pried the blue stone apart. It was not a stone after all. It was a flash drive. A flash drive that could save or ruin her, given the chance. Her stomached rolled as she stared down at it, her fingers quivered around it. She put the flash drive back together, and dropped it back into the bracelet back into the jewelry box. The lid shut with a snap, and she placed it back down in the desk.

She rubbed her chest, right above her heart was. There was a guilt, it weighed down on her like a stone upon her chest. She kept going over her reasons, trying to explain it to herself why she wasn't going to tell the truth. In the end, it felt like a weak argument. There felt like there was just this…great canyon between her and her father. The truth felt like an impossibility. It was a moment of insanity. That was what she had called it, but the truth it was. It was most natural thing in the world. The unconditional love between a parent and a child was as natural as breathing. Eight years…eight years, she had that unconditional love. Eight years was too little. It was yearning that pulled at the strings of her heart, and resonated somewhere deep within her soul.

"You're such a fool, Kelly." She whispered it, leaning back, closing her eyes for just a moment. "Such a coward. Such a stupid coward."

She always ran. Oh, she couldn't in actuality this time. As much as part of her wanted to steal away like a thief in the night, she had put too much on the line. Much more than she had originally thought, she thought as her fingers snatched up a picture. She stared down at it tracing her mother and father's youthful faces with such a sad expression in her eyes. A breath hissed through her clenched teeth, and she placed everything back into the desk, and slid the panel back into place with more force than necessary. She stood up, and her legs buckled. Her palms slammed flat against the top of the desk to keep herself upright, and her heart was like thunder in her ears. She swallowed harshly, and shook her head side to side sharply. Tunneling her fingers through her hair, she went to head to her bed when she caught something out of the corner of her eye.

A light.

Her head jerked upward, and she peered out her window with a frown. She reached out slowly, and pulled her curtain off the side and her eyebrows rose in surprise. There was a light! It was coming from the neighboring house. Her gut clenched, and her mind raced. Who could be in that house? Certainly not Miss Daisy. She would not be up and out at this time of night. _Burglar, _the thought hit her like a punch to the gut and raced to her dresser. She threw on the first shirt and shorts she could find before she ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Her heart thundered in her chest and adrenaline coursed through her veins like white lightning.

Evelyn almost ran out the door, but paused and turned around. The mental lay out of her house went through her mind, and she ran into the kitchen, and got the gun that she had hidden underneath the sink. Checking it to make sure it was loaded, she snatched her cell phone off the counter and headed out the door. The ground was cold against her bare feet, but she did not let that bother her. She crouched down ever so slightly, and stayed out of the light. Evelyn crept up the stairs, and winced as one creaked underneath her foot. She stood still for a half a moment, then proceeded up the rest of them.

Evelyn pressed her side against the door, she took in a very deep breath and forced her muscles relaxed. Relaxed limbs gave an enemy nothing to grab, or work with. With her left hand, she twisted the knob and to her surprise she found it unlocked. Her brows pinched, and her lips pulled downward. After a heartbeat, she pushed the door open as quietly as possible. Her feet hit the hard wood softly, and she blinked her eyes to adjust them to the sudden change in light. The walls were the color of silvery grey, framed in deep ebony trimming. Masculine. It felt very masculine.

A black and white rug stretched across the hallway, and she slowly stepped forward. There was a doorway to her left, and she could make out the faintest sound of footsteps. Slowly easing a breath into her lungs, she turned around the corner and as soon as she saw movement she pointed her gun. "Freeze," she demanded, darkly then promptly choked on her tongue.

Oh, he did freeze and Evelyn could not stop her eyes from roaming over him from head to toe. He was handsome, and a tall, lean and the muscles of his chest flexed with each breath. He was handsome. His hair was black as the moonless night, and a strong contrast to his alabaster skin. His face was narrow with the sharp jut of cheekbones over hollowed cheeks. He had an aristocratic nose, long and straight and lips that were shaped like cupid's bow. He was clean shaven, enhancing the angles to his face and for some reason that made him appear all the more dangerous. His shoulders were broad and strong, and his chest rippled with each rippled with each breath, and her eyes traced over the multitude of tattoos upon his body. Her eyes went further down, taking in the sleek and toned abdominal muscles that veered downward in that v-shape and the rest was hidden beneath the towel wrapped his tapered waist. However despite the towel wrapped around his waist, she could make out the strong, muscular thighs underneath.

She flushed when it occurred to her that she really ought to not be checking out a burglar. There was more than a little conflict of interest there, but darn, wasn't it a shame. Her eyes snapped back up to his face, and she steadied her gun. His brows were black slashes that were furrowed as he caught the first sight of her holding up a gun, before his features smoothed out into a charming smile. "There's no need for violence, I assure you," he spoke, his voice sinfully rich and deep that made her heart flutter in her chest and her knees weak. And the unmistakable British accent attached to that very attracted voice did not escape her notice either.

Attractive or not, Evelyn did not lower the gun. "Put your hands in the air," she bit out, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"That is a mistake," he told her, lightly.

"Put them up!" She demanded.

His smirk sinful, and he gave a light shrug of his shoulders. "As you wish," he said, putting his hands up into the air and the towel he held at his waist slid off.

Evelyn gasped, her mouth dropped open and heat curled up into her cheeks. Her eyes wandered down along the wall of muscle that was his chest and stomach, then unwittingly traced the muscle-the one that veered downward towards his… "Wow…" the word fell from her mouth before she could help it and then her jaw clicked as she snapped her head up. She was met with a taunting smirk, and devilish blue eyes twinkling with mischievousness. "Uh…um…I…" she swallowed thickly, mortification stealing all the words from her mouth.

He held up his hand in surrender, and his smile did not falter in the slightest. "I have a good explanation, and I promise that you won't need that," he gestured towards the gun.

"Explanation…would be nice," Evelyn said, her voice strained. She fought hard for her eyes not to go below the man's waist, no matter how nice and…uh, impressive the sight was. God, she needed to get laid.

The man chuckled. "I'm your new neighbor," he said, with deep chuckle. "Now will you put down your gun?"

Evelyn stared at him for a long moment, then lowered the gun ever so slightly. Her brows furrowed in bemusement, and she blinked at him. "I wasn't aware the other house sold," she said, stumbling over the words.

"I gathered," he said, with a dry amusement.

Evelyn stood there for several seconds trying to come up with something to say, her mind temporarily short circuiting on her. Finally, she found her voice and she said something completely stupid. "Evelyn Matthews, a pleasure to meet you," were the words that fell from her lips.

"Of course it is," the man chuckled. "You're not the one naked."

_Oh, right. _Her eyes flickered down, and then immediately up when she mentally slapped herself. Her face was hot, burning hot and looked like a ripe tomato. "Oh, God. You're naked," she stated, her voice becoming high pitched and she found herself stumbling backwards.

"You are just realizing this now?" He quirked up an eyebrow.

"No, no, I noticed!" Evelyn stuttered out, embarrassed beyond belief. "Congrats on that, by the way," she gestured towards his very impressive male parts, and the man's shoulders shuddered with mirth. She slammed back into the wall, while her chest rose and fall with sharp breaths. "I-I am just going to leave now before…before I d-die of em-barassment," she stammered through her words, and she wished the earth would just swallow her whole. She twisted around sharply to rush down the hallway only to slam her shoulder right into the wall. "Ow! Shit!" She cursed.

"Are you alright?" The man asked, and she heard footsteps.

"No!" She cried out. "No! Nakedness stays on that side of the room, and I go out the door." And she did, and she didn't even bother pretending that she wasn't fleeing. "Goodbye!" She hollered as she raced down the hallway and out the door. She ran across the yard at lightning speed and up her porch steps and through the side door and slammed it behind her in the matter of twenty seconds. Her back hit the door, and she pressed her face into her hands. "Oh, my God. Tell me that just did not happen! Please tell me that did not just happen," she groaned, her hands sliding up through her hair. The fire in her cheeks didn't feel like it was going away soon, and neither was the feeling of utter mortification. Thankfully before she could think of it anymore, her cell phone went off. Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out her cellphone and flipped it out. "Possibly going to die due to mortification, Evelyn speaking," she said, running a hand down her face.

There was a beat. "We've got a lead," Ziva's voice came over the phone.

_Lovely, _she thought with a sigh. "I'm on my way," she replied, and shut her phone mournfully. Looked like she wasn't going to get any rest after all.

* * *

She seemed genuine. He wanted to believe that no one was that good of actor, but he met some damned good ones in his life. Unfortunately he had also been burned by a few of them. He met women who could cry on cue, could force a blush to appear on their face, but for some reason, his gut was telling him that Evelyn had been genuinely flustered. He stood to the side of the window, his fingers raising the curtain watching her speed off in her car.

Lucas gave a dry chuckle underneath his breath. She had burst through that door like an avenging angel, haloed by the light behind her. Her expression was one of cold, determination and she seemed prepared for anything that would have came at her. She had looked exactly as she had in the picture, as if time had stood still for her. However, there was something different. Her eyes weren't as soft and carefree anymore. There was a hard edge there that hadn't been Altukhov's picture of her, and he briefly wondered what put it there before shaking the thought from his head. Fornell wanted him to keep an eye on her, and what better person to deal with someone involved with Atlukhov than him? There was a bitter taste in his mouth, and he let the curtains fall back into place.

He had work to do.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Next chapter: **The case comes to an end, and Gibbs and Evie continue to but heads while Lucas starts to insert himself into Evleyn's life.

**THANKS FOR READING! Reviews are appreciated!**


	6. A Matter of Trust

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely. **

Thank you Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, Fantasyfictionwriter, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, andrewjeeves, klosteca, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, DS2010, Lady Isabelle Black, JrSnape, Ants nz, jrfan2383, Sir-Tannin, craftygirl26 and x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x for the follows!

Thank you BurnedSpy, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, andrewjeeves, doggy bye, klosteca, lightningx94, ros9172, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, ljcolic, JrSnape and winterhail for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **Burned Spy, DS2010, klosteca, **and **SpecialAgentLeonie! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

klosteca: Thank you. :D

**HOPE YOU ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

If I had to chose who I saw playing adult Kelly**: Rebecca Herbst. **I love her from General Hospital since she started on the show over fifteen years ago when she was a teenager, and have continued to love her through her good times and her bad times. She is an amazing and beautiful actress and I think she would make a perfect Kelly Gibbs.

The Song that Inspired this Chapter: **"Comes and Goes (In Waves)" **by Greg Laswell. Check it out on you tube.

* * *

**Chapter Six**

'**A Matter of Trust'**

"Evelyn Matthews."

Gibbs dropped the file right onto Ducky's desk. The Medical Examiner's eyebrows climbed towards his hairline and he glanced over at Gibbs, questioningly. "Yes, your new agent," Ducky carefully picked up the file, and slowly flipped it open. "I'm assume that she is still alive?" He sent an arched look at Gibbs. "She is, isn't she?"

"She is," Gibbs replied, darkly.

"And the reason you've brought me her personnel report?" Ducky asked, lightly. Gibbs just gave him a pointed look. "Ah, you want a psychological profile then." He flipped through the file, and looked all that was there. "Aptitude tests, psychological reports, academic studies. I can work up something…though may I ask why?" Ducky looked up at Gibbs, who paced the length of the autopsy room.

"What kind of person is she, Duck?" Gibbs stated.

"Surely you of all people don't need me to tell you that," Ducky shot him a curious look.

Gibbs's brows were furrowed. His blue eyes were sharp and keen as they roamed over the room, his shoulders were ramrod straight. It was not often that he could not understand what his gut feeling was trying to tell him. He got this strange feeling when he looked at Evelyn Matthews, like she knew something that could bring down the world around her. "She is a liar," Gibbs stated, after a moment.

"And how is she a liar?" Ducky said, as he shut the folder gently. The tone in his voice was one that clearly indicated he was humoring Gibbs.

"She is hiding things, Ducky," Gibbs stated, darkly. He had paced the autopsy room several times now, while mulling over the case as well as his new agent. "I don't know what. I don't know why, but I know she is not being completely honest."

"Just because one has secrets, Jethro, does not make them a liar. We all have things that we hide, the skeletons in our closest," Ducky stated, his arms crossed over his chest. "Our dark sides. The pieces of ourselves that we rather no one ever see. You know what that is like."

Gibbs's eyes narrowed slightly, but he could not summon up the nerve to be mad. If there was anyone he would let call him on something, it would always be Ducky. "It doesn't mean I have to like it, Duck," Gibbs stated, gruffly.

"I never said you did," Ducky said, diplomatically. "However, everyone has their reasons to keep things hidden. Whether it be out of guilt, out of a need to protect someone, or to protect themselves."

"What are you saying, Ducky?" Gibbs asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"What I am saying, Gibbs, is that do not let you irritation over the Director going over your head color you judgment on Agent Matthews. Especially if you are going to press matters further," the medical examiner said, with a deep sigh. "If it is consolation, I do not believe her to be a threat. In fact, from what I saw she was a very competent and compassionate young woman. I find it hard to believe that whatever secrets she keeps will bring any danger."

"Doesn't mean they won't," Gibbs stated, lightly.

* * *

The elevator door slid open, and Evelyn came face to face with Tony and Ziva. She arched a brow, ran an eye over them and asked, "You two going after that lead?"

"It was a bust," Ziva huffed in annoyance.

"Now, we are just going to get supper and coffee," Tony explained, rubbing a tired hand down his face. "Want anything?"

"No, thank you," she shook her head. The only thing she wanted was sleep. Of course, she thoughts of sleep lead her to thoughts of home and thoughts of home lead to her new neighbor. And that lead her to thoughts to a place that made her face turn red. "See you," she stepped past them with a tiny wave, and made her way to the desks. She wondered inanely if her desk had been set up yet, either way she would get some work done while she was here. It would be a waste otherwise.

"Boss," she greeted Gibbs after a moment of hesitation. They hadn't exactly parted on good terms, and she knew not what kind of reception she would see.

"Matthews," he greeted, his tone indifferent.

Evelyn pursed her lips, and looked down at her hands. "Anything more on Darrin West?" She asked, lightly.

"Nothing at all. The lead was a bust," Gibbs announced, darkly.

"Yeah, Ziva and Tony told me. I just caught them on the elevator," Evelyn nodded, gesturing over her shoulder with a thumb at the elevator before she fell silent. Her blue eyed gaze darted around the desk, before they rested on him again. "Are you sure his soldier buddies aren't hiding something? Or at least, not telling the complete truth?"

"What would make you think that?" Gibbs shot her a look.

"There is a connection between soldiers, an unspoken oath if you will. There is no stronger bond then those forged on the battlefield," she stated, her tone very matter of fact.

Gibbs gave her this look, a gauging one. "And what do you know of battlefields, Matthews?" He asked, his hawk like eyes pinned her to the spot.

There a brief hesitation, but with all the deceits she had made so far, in this she decided to be honest. Or at least, as honest as she could. "There a great many number of wars, and battlefields, Agent Gibbs," Evelyn spared him a tiny smile. "We all have ended up fighting in at least one in our lifetime, one way or another."

Gibbs arched a brow, but said nothing more.

For the briefest moment, she considered apologizing for her words and actions the other day. However, she doubted Gibbs wanted to hear apologies or excuses. She twisted knotted her fingers together, and stared at him for a long moment, before she sighed heavily. "I have issues with authority," she admitted, abruptly and suddenly.

Gibbs paused in reading over Private West's file and looked up at her. "I know," he stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Major issues, and honestly the authority issues are just the tip of the ice berg. My life probably has had enough drama for about ten soap operas, and I have so much baggage you wouldn't believe," Evelyn gave a self-deprecating chuckle while she swept her hair out of her eyes and her shoulders slumped, her expression resigned. "Look," she started, her voice quiet, but firm. "I know that I haven't exactly be the ideal person to work with, but you haven't exactly be the ideal boss to work for, either. You aren't sure about me. What I'm going to bring to the table, if it will be good. If it will be bad. You are looking out for your team, and that's admirable and totally understandable."

"Is there a point to this, Matthews?" Gibbs stated.

She gave a bittersweet sort of smile. "You don't want me here. I'm not sure I want to be here," she admitted, her voice seemed to crack ever so slightly and her gaze flickered downwards. She drew in a breath, and cleared her throat before she continued. "But while I am here, I will promise that I will work hard, learn fast for as long as I am a part of your team."

"If?" Gibbs could sense there was more.

"If you promise to at least give me a chance," Evelyn said, softly. Surprise flashed through Gibbs's gaze as he leaned back in his chair, and he looked at her as if really seeing her for the first time. "Just a chance," Evie shrugged lightly, and shoved her hands into her pockets. "One chance is all I am asking you for."

Gibbs stared at her for a long time. It felt like his eyes were trying to reach into her soul, and see right through her (and for a moment, she was truly worried that he really would see right through her.) He opened his mouth to say something when McGee and Abby came flying around the corner. Well, Abby came flying around the corner. McGee hobbled on his crutches as fast as he could. "Gibbs! Gibbs!" Abby was bouncing on the balls of her feet. "We've got something!"

McGee shot her a look, and Abby rolled her eyes. "McGee has got something," the goth stated, then gave him a pointed look. McGee snorted, and cautiously lowered himself down into his chair and pulled a flash drive out of the evidence bag that Abby handed him. "Alright, so you know the belongs that we recovered from Darrin West's apartment," Abby stated, not even pausing to take breath.

"Yes, Abby," Gibbs stated.

"Well, we found a flash drive. A flash drive that was more than meets the eye," Abby said, a huge grin upon her face.

"It was a Transformer?" Evelyn blurted out.

"No," Abby shook her head. "Though I totally got that reference, and appreciate."

"Nice to be appreciated," Evie said, with a wry smile.

"It is, isn't it?" Abby said, brightly. Gibbs cleared his throat, loudly and gave the goth a pointed look. "Oh…right. Anyway, while I was cataloging and combing through everything I noticed something off about the flash drive."

"Off how?" Gibbs asked.

"It was encrypted," McGee announced, his fingers rushed over the keyboard.

"What kind of an encryption? A block cipher, or something more like an asymmetric-key algorithm?" Evelyn questioned, with a light frown upon her face.

"Oh! She knows her tech," Abby clapped her hands together in almost a gleeful manner. "She is a keeper, Gibbs," she added to the bossman in a mock whisper. Gibbs just gave her a long look.

"Closer to the first one. Nothing fancy, or all that hard to crack, but it still brings up the fact-"

"What was on the flash drive that West wanted to hide," Evleyn finished the thought, her eyes widened ever so slightly.

"Exactly," McGee smiled. "After a few moments I was able to crack the encryption and we found this." He hit a button a picture came up on the large screen between Ziva and Gibbs's desks. It was a still of a battlefield. "It's the ambush. The one where Darrin West was the only survivor. Apparently one of the soldiers was recording when it happened. The footage was recovered then placed under lock and key at the Pentagon."

"So how the hell did Darrin West get a hold of it?" Gibbs asked, with a deep frown. His eyes ran over the image. Bodies lied on the ground like thrown about rag dolls, and debris fell from the sky like rain.

"What is that?" Evelyn pointed.

"That's the terrorists that ambushed-"

"I can tell that, McGee," Evie stated, a tiny bit of exasperation in her voice. "I am taking about that to the left of them. They are carrying something."

"I can try to zoom in and enhance the picture," McGee stated, and squinted his at the screen to see what Evelyn saw.

"Then why aren't you McGee?" Gibbs demanded.

"Right. On it boss," McGee ducked his head, a bit sheepishly. "It should only take a second, and there…" A few clicks of the keyboard and image zoomed in, and then focused. "Oh…wow…"

"Wow is right, McGee," Abby stated, her eyes wide. "Isn't that Devon Corp logo on those crates? The ones the terrorists are carrying?"

"It is," Gibbs stated, grimly. "McGee, I need names of anyone from Devon Corp that was remotely involved in the affair with Darrin West, and get me back his superiors officers. I want to know why the hell I wasn't informed of this."

"Got it, boss," McGee picked up the phone.

Evelyn stared at the logo for a long minute, and then it hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh, my God," she gasped out, and took a step back. "Oh, my God!"

"What is it, Matthews?" Gibbs asked, as he watched the blood drain out of her face.

"That logo…the card," she took a deep breath to compose herself as her mind raced. "The card in Darrin West's pocket. It has Devon Corps logo on it."

"You sure about that?" Gibbs gave her a look.

"Yes, I'm sure," Evelyn nodded. "I can see inside my head. It was a black card with yellow writing, and the logo was on the center of it. In his pocket, I saw it." Her eyes darkened with memory of the knife at her throat, and she rubbed the bandage gently.

A motion that Gibbs did not miss. He couldn't forget the sudden bolt of panic that hit him when he saw Darrin West holding a blade upon Evelyn's neck. He felt panic. Sharp and unrelenting shards of panic imbedded themselves into his chest when he had no choice, but to let Darrin take Evelyn hostage. If she hadn't know what she was doing, she would have died. As much as he felt a twinge of relief (because he wouldn't get a lecture from Jen and paperwork, is what he told himself), he also had a new reason to be suspicious. Newbie never handled their first case as smoothly as she did. They always had the books smarts, but they rarely came prepared with the street kind.

Evelyn had both. She had experience with this kind of work, yet there was no indication in any of her files. Nothing that said she did. She was hiding something, he was sure of it. And it taunted him almost every second that she was hiding something. Gibbs stared at her for a second longer before his gaze flickered towards Tony and Ziva that just got off the elevator. McGee's phone rang and he picked it up. "Hello?" He asked.

"We've got food!" Tony shook the bags of food with a large smile on his face.

"Thanks. Thank you." McGee set the phone down, and sighed. "Food is going to have to wait."

Tony froze. "I don't like how you said that McGee," he stated, bluntly.

"What's happened, McGee?" Gibbs asked, his eyes narrowed.

"The bolo just got a hit," McGee informed them quickly. "Darrin West abandoned it at a mall, and he went hijack another vehicle when mall security caught him. He took a woman hostage, and now is held up in a store."

Tony gave a mournful sigh, and dropped the bags of food on his desk before he got his gear together. Ziva just sniggered underneath her breath at Tony's childish behavior while Evelyn just looked to Gibbs for instructions. "Matthews, you are with Tony. Ziva, you are with me," Gibbs grabbed his gear. His blue eyes were blazing, and he took lengthy strides towards the elevator expecting them to follow without question.

Evelyn was practically jogging to keep up with Tony, and she glanced over at him. "On a scale of none to a lot, how much of a chance do we have of bringing this guy in alive without civilian causalities?" She asked, dead serious.

"I'm going with about twenty-two percent," Tony stated, his tone full of mirth. His eyes however were a different matter entirely.

"Wonderful," Evelyn hissed underneath her breath.

* * *

The car zoomed down the highway as fast as it could, with Tony put the lead foot to the metal. "You can think of it as more of a hazing ritual if it makes you feel better," Tony told her. He seemed completely at ease with the situation, and there was only a flicker of a shadow in his gaze that truly gave his unease away.

"Hazing ritual?" Evie arched a brow. "You were part of a fraternity in college, weren't you?"

"Yeah," Tony looked puzzled. "How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess," Evelyn snorted. Her blue eyes watched the world pass by, too fast for to make it out and it made her dizzy to even try. Anxiousness crept across her skin like a living thing and she drew in a deep breath.

"Can I make an innocent observation?" Tony asked, suddenly.

"Hmm. I'm not sure you can. According to Abby, the last innocent words you've ever uttered were go-go-ga-ga," Evelyn told him, with a dry look.

"That is completely true," Tony conceded, with a smirk. "Alright. Can I make an observation?" He asked.

"Go for it," Evie shrugged. Her eyes flickered to the scenery that passed them by. Builds pulled from one to the next, there was no way to discern where one began and the other ended.

"Do you want to know what I'm thinking?" Tony asked, as he made a swift curve. His eyes trained on the back of Gibbs's car.

Evelyn paused in her seat and shot him a look. "I'm a little afraid of what you are thinking," she stated, more than a little serious.

Tony smiled slightly, his hazel eyes glanced over at her for a split second to regard her with a serious scrutiny. "You are making such a big deal that Gibbs's is your boss," Tony commented, eyebrow quirked upward.

"No, I am not," Evie denied. Perhaps a bit too quickly.

"Yes, you do. Gibbs isn't happy about your placement on the team, and sure, he's going to give you a bit of hell. He always does with the newbies, especially those he didn't hand pick. Ask Ziva," Tony stated, with a light nod.

"Is there a point to your observations?" Evelyn asked, archly.

"I'm getting there. Patience, grasshopper," Tony said, his tone meant to convey the infinite wisdom that he was about to place upon her. All it did was made her snort in amusement. "The thing is…you have already managed to become part of the team. You trade jokes with me, you even talk tech with McGee, Abby is already planning to invite you to go clubbing, and Ziva, well, it takes a while to defrost her icy layers, but you already have earned a tiny amount of respect from her. Yeah, I know. I was shocked, too. Gibbs however…you keep at arm's length? I just helped to wonder why?" Tony finished, his eyes slightly narrowed upon her.

Evelyn had went completely still, her heart sinking in her chest. She tried to think of some explanation, some kind of way to explain it off. She didn't have any. "He doesn't trust me," she finally murmured, quietly.

"Trust is earned," Tony pointed, with a light frown.

"I know that…" Evie inclined her head. "It's just harder than I thought it would be."

"Gibbs is a hard man," Tony shrugged.

"I never said it was him that was the problem," Evelyn said, with a self-deprecating sigh. "We are here," Evie seized the distraction as soon as she saw the large mall. Tony parked in a place right beside of Gibbs, and Evelyn could see the flashing lights of police cars and ambulances just waiting. She got out of the car and was immediately brought to a halt by Gibbs. Raising her gaze upward to meet Gibbs, she raised her eyebrows questioningly. "What is it?" She asked.

Gibbs then shoved something into her hands, and she gaped down at it in disbelief. "Your gun, Matthews," Gibbs stated, as if it were supposed to be obvious. "Or do you intend to go in there unarmed?"

She opened her mouth, then shut it. Giving him a look of dry amusement, Evelyn inclined her head ever so slightly. Tony came a halt to her right beside her. "What's the plan boss?" He asked.

"We split up. Ziva you are with Tony's. Matthew's you are with me," Gibbs ordered, and Evelyn blinked in surprise. He slanted an unreadable look her way as if half expecting her to pitch a fit. Instead, she stood there quietly and patiently waiting orders. "We find West, and get him. Do not let him see you unless you have to. I don't want this bastard to feel cornered, and someone end up getting hurt."

* * *

Traumatized. A seemingly innocent word for the things that could easily break a man. Lucas had went through those things, had been down in deep dark places and while he managed to fool the world around him (even managed to fool his superiors.) The one person he couldn't fool was himself. Sleep evaded, and when it did come to him it was hard to keep. After a phone call from Fornell who ordered him to break into Evelyn's house while she was gone, he could feel the angry outburst boil upward. It was violent, and sudden and almost all consuming. His muscles felt like knots, and he could feel a headache coming on. All remnants of dark days that still plagued him.

His blue eyes swept across the room. Evelyn Matthews had been through something traumatic. She tried to hide it behind the bright colors, or neatly placed knickknacks. But he saw through the bright smiles in those photographs, and he saw through the cracks in this house. He saw through them like he saw through his own reflection each morning. A struggle to reconcile with the daily things, and return to _normal. _But how could one do that when the definition of normal had been completely obliterated by fear and pain? Lucas ran his finger tips across the fireplace lightly and carefully not to leave a trace behind.

She had a penchant for ships. He counted at least five different boat models placed through out the house. The colors of the house were warm and inviting. He would have said that was just how the house was decorated, but he could smell the faint odor of fresh paint in the air. This was her touch on this place, her realized only faintly surprised. He glanced over at the boxes of things she had yet to pack away. He seriously doubted it was out of conscious procrastination. She had been meticulously in everything's placing, probably OCD habit. The unpacked boxes were clearly a sign that she was not sure if she was ready to stay, he thought. He focused on every little detail to memorized the entire layout of the house. He kept his foot steps silent, and he paused by a box that was opened.

His stark blue eyes glanced across the books, and he realized it was photo albums. His fingers reached down, and picked the first one off the top. With intense care, he flipped the front cover open and came across several photographs of London. One of Big Ben, one of the Last House in England, one a bridge, and several other landmarks. He turned the next page and found pictures of Ireland next. Several of Powerscout Waterfall if he was not mistaken. He flipped through several other pages, and found similar pictures of different places through Scotland, Glasglow, and much more. Pictures of places, and things, but never of people. No one of a mother, or father. Not even of herself. Not until the very last page.

Lucas's expression softened, though he did not know it. It was a picture of Evelyn when she just a teenager. Sixteen or seventeen, if he hazarded a guess. Her blue eyes were wide, and a large smile upon her red lips. She looked so bright and happy, without a care in the entire world. He studied it a bit longer than he needed to before he shut the photo album and set it in the box. He made his way up the stairs, without a sound. He could smell the scent of fresh paint, and he glanced at the walls. A strange combination of settling into the home, and with one foot out of the door.

He twisted the door knob, and stepped through the threshold before he came to a stop all together.

Vanilla.

The moment he stepped into the bedroom, the smell assaulted him and he was momentarily overcome by it. He felt a strange twist in his chest, and he inhaled deeply without meaning to. Vanilla with the hint of something husky, and purely feminine. The room was painted in light blues, and immediately he thought of the ocean. Not the one on a clear, cloudless day. No, a passion tempest with dark clouds and billowing tides rushing towards the shore. Evelyn Matthews had put a lot of thought into this house, to set it up the way she wanted. So why was she so hesitant to settle here? Lucas frowned, deeply.

His cellphone rang and he heaved a deep sigh. Pulling it free from his pocket, he flipped it open and pressed it to his ear. "North," he answered, roughly.

"_They are on route," _Fornell's voice was an unpleasant thing to hear for Lucas right at that moment. _"I would suggest getting out of there."_

"Very well," Lucas agreed, and shut the phone. Drawing a deep breath, he shut the door behind him quietly and made his way out of the house. _Trauma, _he mused again, thoughtfully. He knew the signs of trauma as well. He saw them in himself everyday. He experienced them everyday. So his mind raced trying to decipher what kind of trauma Evelyn went through, and he had a nagging feeling that it had something to do with Tarasov. His lips were dipped down in a firm frown as he made his across the yard, with more questions than he had before.

* * *

The mall looked so normal, people moving about but they knew something was going on. How could they not when security guards were spaced out with a few police officers here and there. The wise people headed for the exits, while the not so bright decided to stay behind. The tension in the air was palpable, and Evelyn felt her grip tighten on her gun. Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced over at Gibbs whose expression left her blood cold. This was the soldier, the Marine, the Sniper, she thought with heart pounding in her chest. His face was something fierce, and his blue eyes hard as he scanned the area.

"Where?" Gibbs paused just long enough to ask a police officer.

"That way," the cop pointed.

Gibbs took off up the escalator, running up them. Evelyn hot on his heels and tried not to fall on the escalator. Her heart sounded like thunder in her ears as her eyes tried to look everywhere at once. The combined smell of greasy food and of perfume made her wrinkle her nose in disgust as she narrowed her eyes on the crowd. Several shops had been closed down, while only a handful stayed open. Darrin could hide in one of them, but that was extremely unlikely. On the second floor there was no exits through the shops. He would try to get down the main floor, and get out through there. She looked around with Darrin West's face was in her mind's eye and tried to find it in the crowd. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him out of the corner of her eye, and she jerked and looked down at the floor below them. She hated it when her gut was right.

"Boss," she called out, but she knew she had a split second to make a choice. Darrin West was obviously heading towards an exit as discretely as he could with the hostage that he had his arm wrapped around. They didn't have time to run down escalators or around the food court to catch him. When he headed down a hallway out of sight, and Evelyn sprang forward.

"Matthews, what the _hell_?" Gibbs voice came from behind her as she ran forward, and leapt on the railing. She didn't stop there, and she didn't look down. Either of those things would easily spell disaster. Instead, she jumped as hard and as far as she could. Her feet wobbled as she landed on the railing of the escalator, and she jumped across the railing until she was ten feet off of the bottom floor. Evelyn squeezed her eyes shut, and jumped down. Pain splintered up her legs, but she managed to stumble forward. After a moment or two, she sprinted across the marble floor and towards the hallway. As she came around the corner, she found Darrin struggling with his hostage.

His dark eyes raised at the movement, and she watched the blood drain out of his face. "Stop!" Darrin immediately shouted.

Seeing the blade at the woman's throat, Evelyn immediately complied. Her gun was raised at him, and her eyes took as much detail as she could. "Hey, buddy," she said, her voice soft and calm though she was certain it was a losing effort. "Darrin? Right? That's you name?" Darrin twitched ever so slightly, but he did not remove his hand from the woman's throat. Evelyn licked her lips, and stared at him keeping her eyes focused straight on his. "You don't want to hurt her, Darrin. I know you don't. You know you don't. Remember…that's why you joined the army? To protect people. Protect her, Darrin. Let her go, and we'll get you some help."

Darrin's jaw worked. His eyes darted around, half suspicious and half mad. He swallowed thickly, and she saw his hand tremble around the crying young woman's throat. His fingers one by one began to loosen when Tony and Ziva came running around the corner. "Hey!" Tony shouted, not seeing Evelyn standing there.

Evelyn let out a curse as Darrin's eyes zoomed in on the pair, and he shoved the young woman, and she stumbled backward, over her own feet and hit the ground hard. Darrin pulled out a gun from his jacket, and pointed it at Tony. Evelyn reacted, and charged him, bulldozing into him from the side. The impact sent them both staggering, and they fell down the mall stairs. Evelyn hit the ground so hard that it knocked the air out of her, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Darrin begin to pick himself up off the ground. As soon as she rolled to her feet, he lunged at her and she dodged to the side and stuck out her foot. He stumbled, but this time managed to stay on his feet. His chin was lowered, tucked close to his chest, and there was blood in his eyes.

Well, shit. She had done it now. She automatically fell into a martial arts stance, something she had learned several years ago and always stuck with. She heard excited, alarmed voices around her from the shoppers but they sounded far off and distant to her ears.

"_Someone call nine-one-one!"_

"_Oh, my God!"_

"_What the hell is going on?"_

"_Fight!"_

Darrin charged, and this time there was no evading him. His madness did nothing to his hinder movements, his military training so engrained upon him. Evelyn went down under his onslaught of kicking and punches. She blocked the best she could, and tried to hit him as much as she could, but then one of his fists hit her in the rib cage. The power behind it stunned her, and in hindsight, it really shouldn't have. She went staggering backwards, her back slammed into wall and Darrin's hand went around her throat. She heard Tony's shout of warning, and a terrible noise ripped through her throat. A harsh choking sound, and with one hand grabbed him by the wrist, trying to pry it off of her.

Several thoughts went through her mind in that moment, but only one struck her. _Don't die, _it was her mother's voice, crystal clear like she was right there beside her. With a grunt, she pulled her feet up off the ground and planted them against Darrin's chest. She shoved with all her might, her muscles burning with the exertion and Darrin grunted, but he let go. She didn't even let herself draw in a breath, and kicked him right between the legs. He crumbled to his knees, and Evelyn ripped the fire extinguish off the wall beside and struck him across the face as hard as she could. He fell to the ground, out cold. Evelyn's back hit the wall, and the fire extinguisher hit the floor.

She drew in a much needed breath of air, and the burning in her lungs eased. "You took your time," she stated, a tiny bit of amusement in her eyes as she pushed herself off the wall. Her hands were slightly shaking and her legs felt vaguely like noodles.

"You looked like you had a handle on things," Tony sent her a smirk, but he had a serious look in his eyes as he took out the handcuffs. "How long have you been doing martial arts?" Tony asked, as he knelt over the suspect to clasp the cuffs around his wrists.

Evelyn blinked, momentarily taken aback that he noticed that detail. "For several years, I started when I was a teenager," she answered, helping him haul their suspect off the ground. Darrin was like heavy dead weight being out cold.

"A hobby?" He asked.

"Not exactly," Evelyn said, shooting him sidelong glance. She rubbed her sore and throbbing neck, each breath accompanied by a wince.

"What discipline do you train in?" Ziva came up from behind them as if she just melted out of the shadows, and it took everything in Evelyn not to jump.

"Karate, mostly. Degree Brown," she answered, a tension building at the base of her skull. Out of all the group, Ziva made her the most nervous. More than even Gibbs. It wasn't the lethal gait she walked with, or even the number of weapons Evelyn spied on her person. Ziva was exactly like _him, _and that instantly put a bad taste in her mouth. She wondered, did NCIS intentionally hire her on to keep their ally Mossad 'close'? Or did Mossad do it to keep an eye on NCIS? Probably both, but in the end she couldn't judge. She knew what it felt to be balancing on a very tight line, however that did not mean she had to trust Ziva. She would be civil, and withhold judgment for now. "I also do kick-boxing," she added, after a long moment. "Now _that_ is a hobby."

"Ah," Ziva smiled, thinly. It did not take for police, and other NCIS agents to be dispatched to the scene, and Evelyn could not describe the amount of relief she felt when they were able to hand Darrin West off. That relief was short lived when she saw Gibbs matching towards her with a the fury of an oncoming storm. Not that she hadn't expected he wouldn't. She knew he would. She only had hoped that she could avoid it a bit longer.

"Matthews!" Gibbs bellowed, made her cringe even though she would deny it if anyone pointed it out. Slowly she turned facing the enraged man head on. "What the hell were you thinking?"

The unfairness of his anger made her choke with rage, which was a good thing, because the word that would have come spewing out of her mouth would not have been polite. Instead, she narrowed her eyes into a piercing glare. "I was catching our suspect," she stated, her voice flat. "And you were?"

Tony blanched, and Ziva arched a brow.

Gibbs? Oh, Gibbs looked livid. He glared down at her, his expression pinched and the lines around his eyes more pronounced with his anger. "You don't go anywhere without back up. _Never_," Gibbs practically spat. Sirens screeched in the distance, coming closer with every second. "Do you understand me?"

Evelyn was tempted to tell him where he could shove his rules, but she bit inside of her cheek. "Yes, boss," she stated, her face completely composed, but her eyes were ice cold. Gibbs frowned, deeply as if he could sense that she wasn't being entirely sincere with her answer, but Tony cut him off before he could launch into another tirade.

"Evelyn, you're bleeding," Tony pointed out.

Evie blinked, and reached up brushing her fingers across her cheek. Blood coated her fingers, and she hissed at the flare of pain. She didn't know if she was fine or not, but she didn't seem to have any broken bones and she wasn't dizzy, so there couldn't be any major damage. "I'm fine. It's just a scratch," she shrugged.

The cavalry arrived in the form of two patrol cars and a fire medic truck, arrived with flashing lights. Uniformed officers began wading through the crowd, while neighbors directed the medics to the injured while Ziva and Tony hauled off the suspect back to NCIS. Thirty minutes…thirty minutes, and it was all over. Paramedics checked over the young woman whom Darrin assaulted, and they bandaged up Evelyn minor scraps despite her insistent that she did not need to be checked further. Gibbs had given her a dark glare, and she reluctantly let the paramedics to their job.

She waited until the medics were gone, then peeled the gauze and tape free from her cheek with a wince. Now that the excitement was over, she was exhausted; all she wanted was a hot shower, a giant sandwich from Subway and then to fall into her bed. She yawned as she began trudging down to the car. Gibbs fell into step beside her, and he was silent. She glanced up at him, then focused straight ahead once more. A shiver of fear ran down her spine because she did not like the look on his face, as he loomed over her.

Damn him for not sharing any of his height. He was six foot freaking tall, and honestly it just made him all the more intimidating. "Do you always jump feet first into dangerous situations?" he asked in a conversational tone.

She paused, for the lack of anger in his voice threw her off for the moment. She spare him a quick glance. Lines around his eyes tight, his posture stiff. _Yep, still pissed, _she thought with a heavy sigh. "Pretty much," she finally said.

Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose, and cursed Jenny again. He knew this girl was going to be trouble. "Figures," he muttered, underneath his breath.

Evelyn shot him a narrowed eyed look. "Look, what was I supposed to do? Just let him get away?" She asked, hands on her hips as she came to a halt in front of the car.

"No, but I expected you to at least use some common sense and not run head first into danger without any back up," Gibbs stated, darkly. "This is a _team_, we work together. We have your six and your are supposed to have ours."

"And I'm supposed to trust you to have my back?" Evelyn twisted around to snap something back at him, but whitehot pain shot up her side and she groaned, leaning against the car in order not to fall to over. A hiss escaped through clenched teeth, and she held her right side tightly. Slowly she straightened and gave him a look of such ferocious fury. "You snarling at me every time you see me. You have made it abundantly clear that you really don't want me here. That you'd prefer it that I would just disappear all together!" Her anger grew, like a gust of air of smoldering ember reigniting the fire. Pain, hurt and so many other emotions swelled up inside her chest. "I came into this fully prepared to try and trust you, but you Agent Gibbs weren't prepared to give me a chance…" And after her tirade was over, she pressed her forehead against the cold metal of the car. Her breath were short, greedy gasps as she pressed her eyes closed to will away the pain in her side.

Gibbs stood there for a long moment in silence. He wasn't sure what took him aback more, her words or her anger. His brows lowered. "What happened to your ribs?" He asked, gruffly.

Evelyn let out a long breath. "He managed to land a punch," she grumbled out, pulling the car door open and gingerly sat down in the passenger seat of the car.

He blew out an exasperated breath. "Why didn't you say something to the paramedics, Matthews?" He glowered down at her with such exasperation that if it had been a better day, Evelyn might have laughed.

"They're not broken," Evelyn said, with a slight blink. "Just bruised. They would have been nothing the paramedics could have done for me that I couldn't do for myself."

"Just bruised," Gibbs snorted. "You know this for a fact, huh? You don't think maybe they could be cracked?" He asked, roughly.

"They don't feel cracked," Evelyn sighed.

"And you have so much experience with cracked ribs you know how they feel?" Gibbs arched a brow, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yes," Evelyn stated, simply. Her simplistic answer threw him, and she knew it by the way his brows pinched. She offered no explanation, and right now with the anger boiling in the pit of her gut at him, he wouldn't get one either. There was a lot more that he wanted to say, she could see that in the way he stood over her for a moment. There was probably more to his lecture he started, but he relented. He shut the car door for and as he walked around, Evelyn slumped into the passenger seat with a heavy heart. All her anger, and all her spite was gone just leaving exhaustion behind. Gibbs got into the car, and he glanced over at Evelyn, his gaze guarded.

Gibbs then turned away and started the motor. He threw the car in reserve, and back up out of the parking spot while Evelyn slumped further into her seat, a pain blossomed in her heart. She stubbornly held back any tears from the shock of the attack, and the words her father dealt her. She closed her eyes, and leaned her head against the window and just let oblivion settle in around her.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER**

**NEXT CHAPTER! Evelyn and Gibbs must come to an understanding. Abby takes Evelyn out for a night of celebrating, and Lucas shows up to make his first move.**

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	7. Tell Me What You Want

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely. **

Thank you Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, Fantasyfictionwriter, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, andrewjeeves, klosteca, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, DS2010, Lady Isabelle Black, JrSnape, Ants nz, jrfan2383, Sir-Tannin, craftygirl26, TehyaRiddick, FourHorses, Cavill and x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x for the follows!

Thank you BurnedSpy, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, andrewjeeves, doggy bye, klosteca, lightningx94, ros9172, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, ljcolic, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, smilin steph and winterhail for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **smilin steph, Burned Spy, DS2010, klosteca, Guest, JrSnape, and SpecialAgentLeonie! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

Guest: Hope you like. :D

**HOPE YOU ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

If I had to chose who I saw playing adult Kelly**: Rebecca Herbst. **

This chapter is inspired by "Sometimes" by Melanie Horsnell. I also made an WMV for this fan fiction with the song "Sometimes", and it turned out awesome, however for some reason it won't save to my computer. I've tried so many things, even tried to find a way to convert the file but nothing worked. I am so disappointed. So I was wondering if I could possibly get someone to make a trailer for "The Girl In Memory: Spook Edition", just a thought. PM if you are interested and I will tell you some of the best clips to get.

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

"**Tell Me What You Want"**

_Her own little corner._

_Evelyn hated the corner. It was the only corner she felt safe in, thus why it was named her own little corner. The hospital walls were white, so plain white that it hurt her eyes as the sun shined off of them. Of course, it didn't occur to her that it was strange that the sun was shining in or that there was sand beneath her feet. That would come later when she woke up. Right now, it felt so natural to be sitting in her chair, in her own little corner where only two walls were standing. The roof was gone, and the other walls were buried beneath the sand. Lost now. _

_The ocean was hypnotic in the way it moved. Turquoise waves rolled up onto the blinding white sand, the muted roar as they retreated then returned with more strength than before. With the sun hanging in the distant above the water, it looked like an absolutely perfect day. A sailboat was of in the distance, had captured her attention and she watched it idly. She had gotten so lost in watching it that she almost missed it. The spot of grey out of the corner of her eye. Without haste, she turned her so fast that she almost got whiplash. Shock ran through her swifter than a lightning bolt, and she rose to her feet._

_Gibbs. There was no doubt. Even though he was still very far away there was no mistaking him. He was so out of place on the beach in his grey suit and his shoes, Evelyn inanely thought, would be so full of sand. He should have taken them off before strolling on the beach. Her slim brows arched in puzzlement, and she took a couple of steps when someone spoke behind her. A child someone, "He's not here for you."_

_The sunny day was instantly covered by a dark overcast and the waves churned ominously. Evelyn twisted around, and came face to face with her eight year old self. Her hair had been darker back then. It had only got it red hues in her late teenage years, though she knew not why. Genetics were not her specialty. "What are you doing here?" Evelyn demanded, her stomach twisting with unease._

_Kelly arched a brow. "The stork brought me remember," she said, with a smirk that should not be on any child's face. Especially her own._

"_That isn't what I meant," Evie stated, eyes narrowed._

"_Of course not. But it's all your going to get," Kelly said, brushing the hair of a doll that looked too much like Shannon Gibbs that it frankly left Evelyn more than a little perturbed. "You haven't been exactly forthcoming, so why should I?"_

"_What are you supposed to be?" Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest. "My conscious? I don't need a Jimmy Cricket, especially not one that is a creepy version of my eight year old self."_

_Kelly merely arched a brow._

"_Kelly…"_

_Evelyn and Kelly turned and Gibbs was standing there. Evelyn's heart hammered inside her chest, pounding so loud that it was nearly deafening. "Dad," her voice sounded so faint, and she went to walk forward when she found she couldn't. She was stuck! She looked down at her feet, and horror crashed through her. She wasn't stuck…she was sinking. Fear crashed through her and she tried to pull her feet out of the sand, but her struggle only made her sink faster. "Dad," she said this time with panic._

_Gibbs didn't even look at her. It was like he couldn't hear her at all, and she watched as Kelly pranced over to her face with a big smile. "Why would he want you? You're broken, can't be fixed. When you can't fix something, you throw it out. You don't keep it around," Kelly stated, smugly as she took her father's hand. "You aren't the memory he holds onto. I'm the one that should be here. Not you. You are the one that should be forgotten…" Gibbs and Kelly walked off hand in hand._

_And Evelyn sank beneath the sand._

Evelyn's eyes narrowed open, and a gasp tore through her throat as she sat up. Beads of sweat dripped down her forehead, and she ran a shaky hand through her hair before she covered her face with her hands. The nightmare had left her with a heart wrenching pain that it left her feeling ill, and she wiped away the tears before the good even begin. Giving a heavy sigh, she thought dryly, _My subconscious isn't even trying to be subtle anymore. _

Evelyn did not rush that morning. The throbbing aches and pains would not have let her hurry if she tried. She took a warm showed, lingering under the spray until some of the stiffness had eased up before she got dress. The next hour passed in a blur of coffee, traffic and she found herself all too soon stepping off the elevator. Evie sipped on her coffee as the elevator rode up to the squad room floor, and she flexed her bruised knee. She had put ice on it as soon as she got home, but it still bruised and was stiff and sore. She couldn't spend the entire day lying on ice packs, so she popped a couple of aspirin and hoped for the best. The elevator doors slid open and she walked out. Her entire face was covered in what she called 'battle paint', which basically meant that she put a ton of foundation on to cover the nasty bruise that Darrin West had left on her cheek. She looked pretty good, like she hadn't gotten into a brawl just three days ago.

"Ah, hell," she breathed out. She spotted a familiar head of silver hair and admitted she took her time walking over to her desk. When she reached it, she didn't acknowledge him right away. She wasn't sure what to say. Half of her still angry at hell for what he said the other day, and the other half-against her better judgment-understood where he was coming from. "So…how did it all go?"

"Darrin West is in custody," Ziva offered up.

"And so is Bradley Devons," Tony added.

"Bradley Devons?" Evelyn frowned. She listened as Tony and Ziva explained that West wasn't as crazy as everyone believed, and the terrorists did in fact have Devon Corp weapons. The kicker was they did not steal them. They were sold to them. Bradley Devons had been selling his company's weapons in the black market, and when his scheme was about to fall apart thanks to Darrin's survival in the attack, he had paid Darrin's sister a substantial amount of money to make Darrin look crazy. Too bad for Bradley that he was not good at covering his 'cyber tracks' as McGee called it. McGee was able to link it all together, and now Bradley was too facing serious charges for his part in the whole tragedy. Evelyn had expected to feel something, some sense of accomplishment with the case, but instead she felt an emptiness.

"So you fit for duty?" Tony quirked up an eyebrow at her.

"Light duty," Evelyn scowled.

"Join the club," McGee muttered, a glance down at his leg.

"How much longer are you going to be in that cast?" Elizabeth glanced over at McGee's leg cast and saw several signature all over it. Abby had signed it more than once much to everyone's amusement.

"About three more weeks," McGee stated, with a deep sigh.

"Until then probie gets to do all our paperwork," Tony crowed, with a large smile until he say Gibbs look at him. "Not that we make him do all out it, boss."

Gibbs didn't look convinced, but dropped his eyes back down to his paperwork. McGee frowned, and looked between Tony and Evelyn. "Hey, why isn't she get called probie?" Tim asked, confused.

"I did and I got threatened," Tony stated.

"And that stopped you?" Ziva arched a brow.

Tony looked at Evelyn. "Yes," he replied, "because she would go through with it."

"And people say you aren't smart, DiNozzo," Evelyn smiled, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Thanks." Then his brows furrowed. "Who said?"

Ziva chuckled, while McGee ducked to hide his smirk. Evelyn just shook her head with a light laugh, but it was immediately silence when Gibbs stood up abruptly from his desk. He brushed past her and briskly made his way up the stairs towards the Director's office. Evelyn had been tempted to stop him, and for the briefest of moments, Evelyn was tempted to speak. To explain her actions from the mall, why she felt compelled to go after Darrin by herself. Instead, no words fell from her tongue. She stood there for a long moment before she caught sight of a lab coat out of the corner and whirled around to find herself face to face with a brightly grinning Abby.

"Hello, Abby," Evelyn blinked.

"Evelyn! Just the person I was looking for," Abby said, with a pleased smile. "What are you doing this evening?"

Evelyn quirked up an eyebrow. "And why do you wish know of my plans?" _Or lack thereof, _she added, dryly in her mind. She stepped into the elevator, and Abby followed her with a bounce in her step.

"Ziva and I are having Girls Night Out, emphasizes on the girls so don't even think about it Tony," Abby gave him a sharp glare. Tony held up his hands with a 'what did I do' expression. "Anyways, we were hoping you would tag along. It would be fun and we can celebrate it for a 'you survived your first case' kind of thing," Abby grinned.

"We never celebrated when I survived my first case," McGee said.

"Me neither," Tony added in. "All I got from Gibbs-"

"You two are ruining this. Stop it," Abby demanded, hands on hips. She then turned back to Evelyn with a bright smile. "It'll be fun. Won't it Ziva."

"Indeed. I've become quite the pool dolphin," Ziva said, smugly.

"Pool shark," Tony corrected.

Ziva frowned. "What?" She made a face.

"It's pool shark," Evelyn said, with a tiny smile. "Not dolphin."

"Why is it a shark? A dolphin would be much better at pool than a shark," Ziva complained, her lips pursed. "They are more nimble and intelligent than sharks."

"Ah, but Ziva, sharks are the iconic predators of the deep," Tony stated, theatrically and with a large grin on his face. "They ever moved forward, never going back. They can smell blood from a mile away, and they made movies about them. Have there been any movies about dolphins?" Evelyn opened her mouth, and Tony pointed a finger at her. "Ones that aren't documentaries, and that are blockbuster hits."

Evelyn closed her mouth.

"Well, I still believe that a dolphin would be better at pool," Ziva stated, stubbornly.

"That shows what you know," Tony stated.

"And what would you know of pool?" Ziva glowered.

"You guys can argue over it later," Abby waved her hands at both of them, dismissively. "So, are you in?" Abby quirked up an eyebrow in Evelyn's direction.

Evelyn thought over it very carefully. She wasn't one to go out, she preferred to stay to herself. It hadn't always been that way, but the thought did send a jolt of anxiety through her. However, the pleading look on Abby's face was hard to ignore and surely one night wouldn't cause any harm. "Alright, sure," Evelyn nodded. "I'm in."

* * *

"She acted without thought."

"It happens to everyone, especially on their first case," Jenny looked at Gibbs with ill veiled amusement. "It happens when you want to impress your superiors."

"There is trying to impress someone, and then there is putting someone at risk," Gibbs spared her a quick glance.

"Face it, she took care of the risk," Jenny stated, her lips twitched. "She impressed you, and that's what really pisses you off because I was right. Again."

"You just have an answer to everything, don't you Jen?" Gibbs stopped his pacing, and turned to give a glare at the Director.

"I learned it from you," Jenny stated, a coy smile tugged at her lips. It was so easy to fall into banter with Gibbs. "And I do not know why this has you so upset, Jethro. Yes, did she jump the gun and the media had a field day with the cell phone footage of her jumping across the escalators. Though if those a reason to get upset may I remind you of you and your teams antics over last few years." The grudging look he sent was enough to make her smile slightly. "And she still got him," Jenny reminded him, suppressing a smile as she watched Gibbs pace her office thoroughly angered. She had never seen him so riled up by a new agent before and it was more amusing to her than it probably should have been. "She's good. She reminds me of someone," the Director said, thoughtfully.

"Oh, yeah?" Gibbs looked at her, dryly. "Yourself?"

Jenny snorted lightly. "You," she corrected him.

Gibbs came to an immediate halt, and denials upon his tongue. None past his lips, and he saw Jenny quirk up a smug eyebrow in his direction. With a frustrated sigh, he turned on his heel and out the door. Jenny watched with more than a little amusement, and let out a chuckle. She was glad she hired the girl. Evelyn Matthews was proving to be all she expected, and more.

* * *

Lucas North found himself sitting at the bar called the Moonlight Avenue that night. His thoughts weighed heavy upon his mind as he nursed an ice cold beer. His blue eyes flickered through the crowd, patiently waiting. The place was quite busy, more busy than he had initially thought, but it would give him the better advantage.

The door opened, and there Evelyn Matthews walked through. For a moment, he was struck by her. He had always known that she was beautiful woman, but she had dressed to impress. She was vision in sapphire, her dress that wrapped around her every curve and flared out at the hips. His eyes drank in every detail of her. The creamy swell of her breasts beneath the smooth fabric, and the graceful curve of her spine like a dancers. Her blue eyes glowed in the overhead light, and she made her way over towards him. The curls of her hair pulled back to reveal the delicate arch of her throat that begged for the brush of his lips…

Well, that just happened. Good to know his libido hadn't died after all, though if he truly admitted to himself, he had found Evelyn Matthews attractive way before now. "Who is she?" Lucas asked the bartender. He wanted to learn all he could about his little neighbor before he approached her. Did she come here often? If so who did she spend her time with? Did she try to forget herself in the bottom of a bottle like he did some nights?

"No idea," the bartender said, holding his hands up. "I'd never seen her before. But damn, if she didn't walk in here looking like Grace Kelly straight off the red carpet. Hell, if I wasn't slammed I might go ask her for a dance myself."

_Now that is an idea…_Lucas drew in a deep breath, and watched her seat down. _Let the games begin, _he thought with a bitter sort of amusement.

* * *

"Long night?" Ducky asked as Gibbs strolled through the autopsy door.

Gibbs gave him a humorless smile, and raised his coffee cup to his lips. "What do you have for me, Ducky?" He asked, lightly.

"You know, Jethro, the more time I spend with someone, the more accurate my evaluation would be. One encounter, and working off of other people's assessments and reports is far from satisfactory," Ducky stated, fiddling with his glasses and his eyes narrowed on Gibbs's thoughtfully.

"Try, Ducky," Gibbs said.

"Fine," Ducky pulled off his gloves, and tossed them into the trash. "The agent is more street-smart than book smart. Possesses great inner strength. Very focused. Strong sense of justice. Unrelenting to the point of almost obsession. Dedication that comes at a great cost. Married four times, divorced three…"

Gibbs let out a deep sigh. "Ducky…" Gibbs gave him a pointed look. He wasn't evaluating Matthews. Ducky was evaluating him.

"I'm not finished, Jethro," Ducky stated, sharply. His chin raised stubbornly, and Gibbs just bowed his head with a sigh. "We're talking about a man who acts on his gut instinct. Who relies on his ability to judge people, and he's rarely wrong. As a result, he's a man who never suffers from self-doubt. Until now. What is it about Evelyn Matthews that causes you such doubt, Jethro?"

"She's not some green agent. She has seen death before, she has experienced it yet that is not in her records," Gibbs pointed out, because it was the first thing that came to mind.

"You can experience death without being an investigator, Jethro," Ducky felt compelled to point out. He watched the frustration cross Gibbs face, and he frowned deeply.

"Maybe," Gibbs conceded, with a light frown. "There something…off about her. She is hiding something that much I am certain of, but what she is hiding I don't know."

"Well, I will tell you what little I have gathered." Ducky tapped his fingers against his temples. "She has anxieties. Borderline on social anxiety, most likely from some sort of trauma she has suffered during her lifetime," Ducky said, his hands clasped in front of him as his expression turned thoughtful. "I can't not say what kind of trauma she has endured, but I know that at one point in her life it drove her to self harm."

"Self harm?" Gibbs felt a jolt that went through him, and his stomach twisted unpleasantly. "How do you know she self harmed?"

"At the pharmacy when she was helping me with the body. Her sleeve had lifted upward ever so slightly, and I saw the scars. They are a little over a year old, I suspect," Ducky nodded, a frown on his face. "It is sad to think that there are tragedies that could drive a person to wish away their own existence."

"Yes, it is," Gibbs agreed, quietly. His eyes darkened when he remembered staring down the barrel of his own gun, his grief so great that it almost had driven him to pull the trigger. At the time, he had thought himself a coward. Now he knew that Kelly and Shannon would never wanted him to something like that.

"Ah, but back to my assessment. She is careful about the way she holds herself, and make sure she is always presentable in a sense. A show if you will or a mask to keep people from seeing too much," Ducky stated, carefully. "However, there are cracks in the mask. Particularly when she saw the blood. She could not hide her reaction to it though she did the best she could, not to mention she cannot hide herself around you either."

Gibbs frowned, lightly. "What do you mean, Ducky?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but there is something about you that sets her on edge. Whether that has something to do with what she is hiding, I cannot tell you that. I can tell you that you get more flies with honey than vinegar," Ducky added, dryly.

"Are you telling me I need to play nice?" Gibbs asked, with a hint of a smirk on his face.

"It certainly wouldn't hurt. Despite the wariness you have of her, Evelyn Matthews seems to me a respectable young woman. She is intelligent, quick on her feet and prepared for a fight. One would think you would admire that," Ducky chuckled, lightly.

"Are you doing to say that she reminds you of me?" Gibbs asked, eyes narrowed.

"So you noticed," Ducky stated, brightly.

Gibbs just sighed.

* * *

Evelyn stepped through the doors, and felt a little more awkward standing there. The noise of chatter was loud, and the smell of cheap boozes perfumed the air. It sent a sharp pain spiked through her head, and she could feel her skin crawl. It felt like everyone looked over at her. She wished she had gone with her initially instinct to go with jeans and a t-shirt like the other women in the bar were wearing. Instead in her little blue dress, she stood out like a sore thumb. It seemed no matter how much she tried to put into hiding, she always managed to make herself stick out more. Part of her wanted to turn around and walk out the doors, but Abby spotted her before she could turn around. The goth waved her off more than little excitedly while swaying on her bar stool, and Evelyn made her way over to them with the best smile she could muster up. When she reached the table, she sent Abby a questioning look.

The goth leaned over the table, a sad expression on her face and a half empty bottle of tequila in front of her. Judging by the beer that was in Ziva's hand, Evelyn was going to bet that Abby was the only one tossing back shots of tequila. "Why do I get the feeling that this Girls Night Out isn't so much a celebration?" Evelyn tried to joke, lightly. She titled her head to the side, and her blue eyes darted towards Ziva. "Alright, what's going on? What's wrong?" She asked.

Ziva made a startled expression, and shook her head. Evelyn's brows furrowed in confusion until Abby let out an angry noise like a pissed off cat. "McGee! McGee is what is the matter with me!" Abby spat out, and then swallowed down another shot of tequila. The goth made a face and shuddered.

"McGee did something?" Evelyn floundered for an explanation. McGee didn't seem like the type to intentionally piss someone off, especially Abby. Her eyes darted around the bar, an air of nervousness wrapped around her like a blanket. She did not like crowded places, it made her anxious and put her on edge no matter how much she tried not to let it.

"It's what he _didn't _do," Abby corrected, sadly. "Why can't he just act like he is upset? Just a little bit? Just for me?"

"He isn't happy," Ziva stated.

"Not being happy isn't the same thing," Abby waved off. She smacked the flat of the table with her hand, and looked pointedly at Evie. "Evelyn sit down. Get drunk with me so I don't have to be alone."

Evelyn sat down, slowly. "I don't know about getting drunk," she said, still more than a bit bemused.

Abby then looked her straight in the eye. "Gibbs hates you," she said, drunkenly and handed her a shot glass filled to the brim with tequila. "He thinks you suck real bad. And that makes you really sad. Now get really drunk with me."

"You are…cruel," Evelyn said, as if coming to a sudden revelation. She didn't know whether to be amused, or insulted. However, seeing the state that Abby was in, she was going to take whatever she said with a grain of salt.

"Nope," Abby grinned, widely and drunkenly. "Just calling how I see it."

Evelyn snorted, and threw the shot back. The liquid burned pleasantly down her throat, and brought a flush to her cheeks as a shudder down her spine. "Damn…that was good," she breathed out.

"Wow. I'm impressed," Abby blinked. "Ziva thought for sure you'd make a face."

"I did," Ziva shrugged, unrepentantly.

"I probably would have, but tequila has become my friend in recent weeks." She poured two shot glasses to the rim, then looked at the waiter with a speculative glance. "I don't suppose you have any salt and limes?"

"We do?" The waiter looked confused.

"Can we have some, please?" Evelyn smiled at him.

"Why do you want limes?" Ziva frowned.

"You'll see," Evie stated, then her eyes flickered over towards Abby. "So…why do you want McGee be upset?" She asked, her tone light.

"Because he got himself shot! In the leg!" Abby shouted, and the whole bar went quiet. Ziva let out a laugh before she could help herself, while Evelyn looked at Abby with wide eyes. "He got himself shot," Abby began, thankfully a lot more quietly. "And he didn't even care."

"I'm sure he cared," Evelyn said, toying with the empty shot glass in her hand. "I mean, getting shot is quite painful. It's kind of hard to be apathetic to that."

"His reaction is 'Oh, it was my job!'" Abby stated. "No, it's his job to not get shot and get the bad guy and he can't even pretend to be upset because he had me so worried."

"Oh," Ziva and Evelyn said, understandingly.

"But enough…about McGee," Abby decided, her voice quivered ever so slightly. "What about you?" She asked as she poured herself another drink.

"My ribs are still sore, and I'm pretty sure my boss hates my guts, and I've got reprimanded on my very first case," Evie sighed, heavily. She looked at the empty tequila glass, and knew she really shouldn't fill it up again. Tomorrow was already looking like a gloomy day, and to add a hangover to it would just be adding insult to injury. Or headache to injury. However, she filled the glass anyways (perhaps she was bit of masochist) and drunk it down, too.

"Well, aside from that—" Abby said, hesitantly.

"Aside from that, I'm golden," Evelyn said, with a smile too wide to be real. The waiter returned, and gave Evelyn a smile as he set down the bowl of limes and salt on the table. "Thank you so much," Evelyn smiled at him.

"Your welcome," the waiter said, and walked away.

"Alright, I'm going to teach you a game," Evelyn smirked, widely. She pulled out her pocket knife, and dipped into a shot glass to sanitize it before she sliced the limes in quarters. After she done that, she licked the side of her hand and then she sprinkled salt on it. She looked up at Abby and Ziva who looked at her with confused amusement. "It's called Lick it…" She licked the salt off her hand. "Slam it…" She drank the shot like a pro. "And Suck it…" She picked up the lime slice and brought it to her mouth. She sucked on the lime, and pulled back. The flavors burst on her tongue, and a shudder ran from her entire body down from her head to her toes. Pulling the wedge out of her mouth, she let out a loud giggle. "Wow…it's been a while since I did that."

"Let me try." Abby proceed lick the side of her hand, sprinkled the salt on her hand then lick the salt over, down the shot and sucked on the lime in record time. Her face scrunched up, and she made a noise in the back of her throat. "Oh…oh, I like this game. Let's play more," Abby grabbed some more limes, and Ziva let out a laugh.

"Maybe you should slow down some, Abby," Ziva stated.

"Why? I'm not driving," Abby shrugged. "I already have a cab schedule to pick me up, and I told Gibbs that if I didn't call him then he had free reign to unleash the hounds."

"Unleash the hounds?" Evie quirked up an eyebrow.

"Gibbs can be an over protective papa bear," Abby shrugged, with a smile.

Evelyn's expression froze, and she couldn't stop the zing of jealous that panged through her. There was a wistfulness and longing that swelled in the back of her throat, and she looked down at the tequila in her shot glass. There wasn't enough alcohol in this bar to drown out the feelings inside of her, and it most certainly wouldn't solve anything. She honestly did not know what she wanted from her father. Her mind and her heart were going in two different directions, and it left her more than a little despondent. She sipped the tequila lightly, and hoped for a change in conversation.

"So, Evelyn, anyone special in your life?" Abby asked.

Evelyn arched a brow. "No, and no one interested in the position either," she stated, the tone of her voice flat.

"No," Ziva shook her head.

"Anyone special?" Abby scoffed. "Yeah, right. I haven't had someone…God, we are all sad. We going to die as old cat ladies."

"Eh, not so much a cat person," Evelyn shrugged.

"Perhaps it isn't the fact that we cannot find a man," Ziva posed the question, nonchalantly. "Perhaps we are too busy looking for the Perfect Man."

Evelyn barely chocked back a scoff. The Perfect Man? The Perfect Man wouldn't look twice at her. Heck, any man wouldn't look at her. She was so screwed up that the immediate idea of a relationship was laughable.

"Seriously though," Abby got a pensive look on her face, as she cocked her head to the side. "What is the perfect man? What would he be like?"

"Hmm." Evelyn took the last sip of her tequila, and looked down at it a bit mournfully. She thought over it carefully. What she would want in a man, if she could actually think she could have any kind of healthy relationship. "I've never really thought about it. Probably because it would take _way _too much thought. But if I had to chose one main quality it would be faithfulness. Life is way too short to waste on someone you can't trust."

"Hmm. That's a good one," Abby nodded. "But if we were making a list, not sure if it would be at the top. Close, but no cigar."

"Close, but no cigar?" Ziva frowned. "What does that even mean?"

Abby opened her mouth, and closed it. "I'm not really sure. It's just something we say," the goth gave a shrug of her shoulders.

"You Americans idioms are so strange," Ziva murmured, and took another swig of her beer.

"Don't feel bad," Evelyn gave her a half smile. "You're not the only one to think that." The trio of ladies lapsed into a little pond of silence, while the bar got a little more excited when the live band started playing.

"Man. This place blows," Abby complained. "We should have went to a nightclub. Not some dinky bar…" Her eyes went wide as one of the waiters passing by shot her a look. "Not that there is wrong with that, if that's they kind of thing that you like…" The waiter walked off with a huff, and Abby's shoulders slumped. "Well, no more ordering drinks for me. With my luck, they'll spit in them."

"Probably. But on the subject of the perfect man, I believe that someone who is financially stable, with a steady job is very important. The rest can be worked on," Ziva stated, simply.

"Worked on?" Evelyn looked amused.

"My mother used to say that men are like clay," Ziva smiled ever so slightly. "The potter can not always chose the finest clay, but they can always craft it into something beautiful. Relationship takes work, and people have to change and adapt when in one."

"Wow…that was very deep," Evelyn stated, with a blink.

"Too deep and meaningful to be said in this bar," Abby gave a hysterical giggle then hiccupped. "Oh, boy. I think I need to cut myself off."

"And I'm going to go play some music," Evie said, sliding off the bar stool. Once she was on her feet, she became painfully aware of just how intoxicated she was. Too many shots, she thought shaking her head. Gathering her wits about herself, she turned towards the jukebox when her eyes focused on a man at the bar. "Oh, my God," Evelyn breathed out.

It was her neighbor. He sat there, his elbows braced against the bar with the muscles of his back flexed beneath the button up black shirt. His raven hair had been slicked back out of the way of those smoldering blue eyes that peered into her in a way that she could not recall anyone else's ever had. She sudden felt vulnerable, exposed and so many other things that she couldn't untangle in that moment. _I know what he looks like naked, _the thought crossed her mind, and she swallowed down a hysterically laugh while something warm spiked through her blood. Something about knowing what he looked like underneath all those clothes made her stomach clenched and her legs feel like jelly. She pressed a hand to her heart, and found it racing beneath her chest.

"What?" Ziva was immediately on alert. "Is something wrong?"

"Wait. No, no, it's just my neighbor," Evie stated, letting out the breath she had been holding in.

"Your neighbor? Which one?" Abby asked.

"The one at the bar," Evelyn gestured ever so slightly, and when she saw the smirk curve across her neighbor's lips, her flush darkened. _Oh, God, he knows we are watching him, _she thought with more than little more mortification. _For heaven's sake, Evelyn do not blurt out anything about seeing him naked. That is not something I want to get back to Tony's ears, he would never let me live it down._

"You have _that _for a neighbor?" Abby looked over Lucas appreciatively. "You are _so_ lucky." Then the goth got a speculative look in her eyes, and she looked at Evelyn with a Cheshire Cat kind of smile. "Does it come with some kind of benefits? If not, you should definitely look into cause I bet those would be some good benefits…"

Evelyn's mouth dropped open as she made a tiny groan of embarrassment. She pressed a hand to her forehead, and just hoped the noise drowned out their conversation and that he did not just hear that. Abby looked at her and smacked her one the arm. "Come on, you and I both know that that man right there would be some good sex! Wait, no, strike that! It would be amazing sex! The mind blowing, can't feel my feet afterwards, what is my name kind of sex!"

Ziva laughed, and loudly.

"I can't believe I agree to this," Evelyn stated, mournfully.

"Oh, come on," Abby said. "You are having fun. Admit it." The goth sat up a little straighter, and she looked Evelyn's neighbor up and down. "He is totally making eyes at you. Go ask him for a dance," Abby ordered, and shoved Evelyn off her bar stool.

Evelyn stumbled, and shot Abby a look. "I am not going to ask him to dance," she hissed, underneath her breath.

"Look I am not getting any," Abby pointed a finger in Evelyn's face and it took her a moment to focus her eyes on Evelyn's face. "You however have an ample opportunity to have fun and I can live vicariously through you in this moment. Go dance and have fun."

"I'm not-" Evelyn protested.

"Go!" Abby ordered.

Evelyn gave her a dark and grudging look like she was half tempted to disobey the strange and silly order. Ziva however shook her head. "Just comply. It will make your life much easier," Ziva stated, with a small smile at the edge of her lips.

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?" Abby said, and gave her the stink eye.

"Oh, nothing," Ziva shrugged her shoulders then suddenly she sat up a little straighter, intrigued. Her eyebrow arched, and a cat-like gleam entered them. "It appears that you won't have to go ask your neighbor to dance after all. He is coming to you."

"He is what…" Evelyn whipped around, and looked straight up into blue eyes. There were more even compelling up close and personal, for now she could see the pale blue circled by the deep sapphire. Like the sky on a moonlight night. She drew in a sharp startled breath and the scent of him overwhelmed her leaving her light headed for a moment. He smelt of something warm with the hint of spicy and sharpness that could only be describe as purely masculine. It took her a moment to find her tongue once again.

"Oh…hello," she stated, more than little caught off guard. "You're not naked."

* * *

**Next chapter: **Lucas makes headway with Evelyn while her phobias catch up with her, and she reached an understanding with Gibbs. Elle shows up, and Evelyn has a little bit of a break down.

Disclaimer, the game Lick it, Slam it and Suck it is from General hospital.

I will put up warnings in the next chapter because Evelyn is going to go through some PTSD, and can cause others to have trigger responses, but I just wanted to give everyone a heads up.

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	8. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.**

Thank you Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, Fantasyfictionwriter, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, andrewjeeves, klosteca, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, DS2010, Lady Isabelle Black, JrSnape, Ants nz, jrfan2383, Sir-Tannin, craftygirl26, TehyaRiddick, FourHorses, Cavill, and x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x for the follows!

Thank you BurnedSpy, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, andrewjeeves, doggy bye, klosteca, lightningx94, ros9172, skeeter88, thedudewithoutaname, ljcolic, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, smilin steph, coffeee and winterhail for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **BurnedSpy, DS2010, Someone, and RedHouseClan! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

**Someone: **Thank you so much. Glad you like it. I fully intend on going deeper into this story because one I have so much more to work with thanks to MI-5 Spooks, and it's a different take on Evelyn that has a lot more possibilities.

Thank you for that. I have been researching PTSD, and have been trying to be very through because in the next few chapters Evelyn is going to have those flashbacks because certain events and things will trigger them. So hopefully I will get it as realistically as possible. Thanks for the amazing review! :D

**RedHouseClan: **Glad you like it, and Lucas. :D

**HOPE YOU ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

If I had to chose who I saw playing adult Kelly**: Rebecca Herbst.**

(This chapter is inspired by "Sometimes" by Melanie Horsnell. I also made an WMV for this fan fiction with the song "Sometimes", and it turned out awesome, however for some reason it won't save to my computer. I've tried so many things, even tried to find a way to convert the file but nothing worked. I am so disappointed. So I was wondering if I could possibly get someone to make a trailer for "The Girl In Memory: Spook Edition", just a thought. PM if you are interested and I will tell you some of the best clips to get.)

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

'**One Step Forward, Two Steps Back'**

"I only meant…you're wearing clothes."

Evelyn stood there, her spine rigid and straight as two pink dots glowed white-hot upon her cheeks as she wished the earth would just swallow her up in that moment. Her neighbor laughed, not in the least bit offended. It was a rich, deep rumbling sound that made the goosebumps across her flesh. She swallowed thickly, and heard Abby faintly from behind her ask, "Wearing clothes?"

"I traditionally do," he grinned, broadly.

"Oh…that's good," Evelyn stated, lamely. She was already feeling way out of her comfort zone coming to have a 'Girl's Night Out'. The people, the noise, the lights all pressed in on her. The alcohol dulled it, but it was never forgotten. Now, come face to face with him seemed to enhance all of it. Her nerves raked along her skin like claws, and she drew in a steady breath. "What are you doing here?" Evie asked, then she looked slightly alarmed when she realized how rude that question was. "Not that you don't have a right to be here, that is."

He chuckled. "I'm here to forget," he answered, a slight shrug of his shoulders. Evelyn paused, taken aback for a moment because she could see that he was truly sincere. "Imagine my surprise when I see you walk in. I should apologize for staring, but you are…truly exquisite."

Evelyn's eyes widened in shock, and a blush crossed her cheeks. "I…I…Thank…thank you?" and she was proud that her voice hadn't trembled in the slightest. A tidal waves of emotions hit her, good ones and bad ones. The woman part of her was flattered, the broken part of her couldn't help to be afraid and uncertain.

"I have to say, I didn't realize that women still blushed anymore," Lucas stated, with a wide smirk. His eyes were smoldering as he looked down at her. His heart kicked into high gear, the anticipation of her gaze meeting his. He didn't take his eyes away from her, and by God, she was still beautiful. Even with those shadows flickering in her gaze, there was a softness to her that he didn't think he had ever encountered with another person. Her eyes widened, met his. Was she alarmed by his interest? Or perhaps by him in general? "I'm sorry, I hope I'm not bothering you," Lucas smiled, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I just thought I'd come over and say hello, and try to get off on the right foot seeing how I think we got off on the wrong foot."

"Uh-huh," Abby nodded, and shared a mischievous look with Ziva behind Evelyn's back.

"That's…a bit of an understatement," Evie stated, her voice faint. She looked at him, and felt some stir inside her chest. This was something different. This was something she hadn't felt before, or at least, for a long time. "I never did get your name," she said, breathlessly after her tongue darted out to wet her parched lips.

"My apologies," he said, a sheepish, boyish grin tugged at his lips. His voice was even softer than before, a tone of intimacy laced between through words. "That was terribly bad manners on my part. I'm Lucas. Lucas North."

And he held out his hand. Evelyn hesitated for all of a second before she slid her fingers through his. His fingers were calloused, but not like that of someone who did manually labor for a living. However, there was an unspoken strength that laid beneath that hand. "Nice…to meet you, Lucas," she said, with an attempt at a smile. "At least, under better circumstances this time."

Lucas could see why Tarasov was so obsessed with her. She could crawl inside of a man before he had the chance to run just with one smoldering look. She had a subtle, innocent seduction that came to her as natural as breathing though he could see something else there. Something much deeper that he reacted to. She was more than the bright innocent woman that others saw. She was filled with pain, sorrow, and lost. He understood that more than he was willing to admit. Shadows had long ago stolen his life, and turned him into a person he scarcely recognized anymore. He released her hand slowly, marveling at how soft her skin was. "I was wondering, if it isn't a bit forward of me, if you would like to dance," he asked, with his most charming smile. Her eyelashes were long and sweeping, two thick crescents that drew attention to her large blue eyes. He was careful not to fall out of character, not even for a pair of enormous bedroom eyes.

"I'm very flattered," Evelyn began, her eyes had been watching his mouth moved as if fascinated then she ducked her down a strange sense of shame flooded through.

"She will!" Abby volunteered her.

Evelyn barely resisted the urge to turn around, and glare at Abby. She however couldn't seem to tear her gaze of Lucas. She loved dancing, she had always loved dance even as a young girl. Now the very thought sent a rush of blind panic through her. She didn't like to be touched. It wasn't easy for her to be touched in any kind of way, and dancing…they would be up close together. Almost intimately together. A quivering tension coiled within the pit of her stomach as he took her hand in his, but she offered no protest. He squeezed her fingers gently and his expression softened. "Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you," he promised, lightly. He tugged her gently as if not to alarm her, and she realized that he was the kind of man who knew women. A dangerous man with a dangerous kind of knowledge.

"What an odd thing to say," she murmured, quietly. Her brows furrowed ever so slightly and she found herself being lead out to the dance floor as a slow song began to play.

"Is it?" He asked, his voice deep rumble. He pulled her into his embrace as he sung her into a dance. Her dress swirled around her legs and his. At first he simply held her with such ease, but she could feel the strength of his hand on her lower back. Her heart jolted in her chest, and feeling of unease crept across her skin. The knots in her stomachs grew tenfold, and as much as she tried, she could not relax in his arms. _This should be easy, _she thought to herself as a sweat broke out along her skin. _I should be able to dance, and flirt without feeling like heart is about to burst out of my chest. _Her lungs burned with the need for air, and she struggled to release the breath that she had been holding in. She lifted her head and staring into those eyes was almost much more than she could bear. She felt vulnerable, and she hated that.

"I'm not afraid of you, by the way," Evelyn felt the need to say. And she wasn't. She wasn't afraid of this man, her neighbor. She was afraid of the shadows from the past that were constantly in the back of her mind. Just one mention, just one incident, and it all came flooding back without warning. She didn't want that to happen. She wanted to be normal again, to be able to talk to a person without worrying that something they did or would say sent her spiraling into a whirlwind of panic where she drowned in memories.

"You're not quite as smart as you look then," Lucas warned her, a crooked smirk upon his face. His blue eyes sparkled mischievously and there was something about him that made her want to be at ease around him. Something about him that made her want to melt into the warmth of his arms and enjoy the slow dance like she should.

Yet, there was a tremble in her heart that kept her from doing so. "That…" she stated, her voice barely more than whisper. "Is entirely possible."

_Cut my skin and I bleed_

_Just like anybody_

_And I want and I need_

Evelyn had the urge to slide her hands along the inside of his collar to his bare skin, and she drew in a sharp breath, shocked by that feeling. How long had it been since she actually wanted something like that? Something simple like dancing with someone? A pang shot through her as well as a mountain of uncertainty. "This song is kind of depressing, isn't it?" She murmured out, with a quiet laugh. It was a sad sound, and she wished she could take it back as soon as she made it.

"Introspective, I think," Lucas replied.

"Then it is definitely depressing," Evelyn managed to crack a little smile. She shifted in his arms, and despite herself, she couldn't fight the sense of being trapped. It was more than a little depressing because there was a time she would have just let herself relax and melt into the beat of the song. Maybe even rest her head on his shoulder. Now it took everything in her not to cringe away from the physical contact as if it burned.

Lucas sensed her nerves, and eased up his hold on her ever so slightly. "Just hold on," he told her, gently. "I'll lead you."

Evelyn's eyes flickered up to his. Her expression was guarded, and she looked at him as if trying to figure out an exceedingly frustrating puzzle.

_I have secrets, I have scars  
As deep as anybody  
I have fears no one hears  
But don't tell anybody_

Lucas studied her, his head cocked to the side. He could see the war of emotions in her eyes, and it was not hard to decipher them. She thought herself the one in the shadows. She was hiding behind a sweet demeanor, hiding the real Evelyn out of sight behind a the walls she had erected around herself. _She is afraid of herself. Afraid of who she really is, _he thought only faintly surprised. She was afraid. Of him, of herself. And that told him so much than any words could. "You just don't like being touched," Lucas murmured, quietly. "Do you?"

Evelyn jolted, and she stared at him with wide eyes. Lucas knew he had said too much. She was already skittish, on the verge of indecision, but the fact that he saw that too clearly…that was all that she could take.

Evelyn's heart felt like a jackhammer in her chest, and suddenly she felt bare and vulnerable. It scared her more then any violence ever could. "I'm sorry," she blurted out, pulled away from him though she did not know exactly what she was apologizing for. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She fumbled for a reason while it suddenly became hard to breath. She could feel the panic rise in her throat, and the self loathing was something she just couldn't escape. "It's just that…I'm so sorry."

Without waiting for his reply, she turned on her heel and fled out the door. The air was sharp, and held just a hint of the oncoming winter. The coolness cut sharply through her and dulled the panic for the moment. She bent over, her hands braced on her knees and she drew in shallow breaths. A panic attack. A freaking panic attack. It had happened so sudden she couldn't stop it, and she hated it. She hated feeling weak like this. She hadn't had one in several months, she had thought (naively she supposed) that they had faded with time. Straight upward, she placed her palm against her forehead. She didn't want to go back to a therapist, she didn't want to lay out all her problems for another person to see. She didn't want anyone to see.

Evelyn turned, and caught her reflection in the window of a parked car. For a long moment, she stared at it as if not comprehending the sight. Her face was pale, and her eyes were wide filled to the brim with memories she wished she could just forget. The rest of her looked picture perfect, as if she would smile then no one would ever see the things that lied beneath. Her clothes were part of her armor. Perfect presentable in everything she wore, and her make up applied were precision. Her hair was not a strand out of place, because if she looked put together then everyone on the outside would believe that she was put together. And during the day, she could lie and pretend that she was. It was only when she got home did the reality come crashing down so hard that it was suffocating her slowly and painfully. "Oh, god…I don't even know who I am anymore," she whispered out, half of her horrified and the other half more than a little scared. Kelly got stolen away, Evelyn got pieces of her back eventually. Then Evelyn got broken, and now all she was just a jumble of pieces trying to piece herself back together.

And she did want to feel whole again. She wanted to feel safe. She didn't want to feel broken, or damaged. She wanted to be able to dance with someone without feeling like any second they would turn into that bastard and she would be hurt once again. Swallowing thickly, Evelyn drew in a sharp breath and pulled herself together the best she could. She raised her hand into the air, and shouted, "Taxi!"

* * *

Lucas walked outside, and watched Evelyn Matthews get into the back of the taxi like her life depended on it. He knew that look like the back of his hand. The desperation, the panic, the want to connect with the world, but being so disconnected from it that it felt like an impossibility. Of the years lost. Of losing your life. Of losing your family. Of pain. Of torture. Of trying desperately to not lose hope. The moving on part was always the hardest. To move on from something that had so shaken and destroyed your life. He closed his eyes and ran his hand down his face. His heart was pounding inside her chest, and his gut clenched with something akin to guilt.

He remembered those moments that left him drowning. The nightmares, the phantom sensations of pain that streaked up his spine, remnants of the torture he endured. How he was pushed deep down in a hole where he thought his only way out was suicide, only to have it stolen away like the rest of him. He drew in a deep breath and drew himself out of his memories. He would apologize the next time he saw her, and try a different approach. He felt his lungs expand as he drew in a breath to ease the burning in his lungs, and the emotions coiled inside of him slowly unwound. The minutes ticked by, one slow second at a time. The sky darkened again as the clouds moved swiftly, obliterating the light from the moon leaving only the faltering streetlight shining down upon him. The darkness went from gray to inky, and the wind build to a howl.

He wasn't a hero. He kind of hero who rode on white horses and rescued beautiful women with sorrow-filled eyes, but damn, had he wanted to be in that moment she pulled away from his arms. Evelyn Matthews had revived something deep within him, a want to be a better man. The only thing was he didn't know how. "Damnit," he cursed, loudly.

* * *

Evelyn staggered like a drunk, her knees knocked and buckled beneath her threatening to send her face first into the ground. It wasn't the alcohol that had her stumbling around. She really tried not to have a panic attack. She tried to keep her breaths even and controlled, but she could not get the thoughts out of her head. How easily Lucas's hands were replaced with…with _his _and suddenly she was back in that cell all over again. She wanted to scream, she wanted to curse. She had wanted…a normal moment. Just a normal night out, just a safe dance with a guy. Every movement became more and more difficult as fatigue came as soon as her panic began to ebb away.

The poor taxi driver must think her a weepy, hysterical drunk because he drove off as fast as he could. She reached the two steps leading up to the porch and stopped there, swaying back and forth. She tried to focus on the steps and walked up them slowly, her ankles felt like they were shackled with iron weights. She shivered, violently. It took her several tries before she got her key into the slot to unlock the door.

She could hear her own harsh, strained breathing, echoing hollowly as she stepped into the hallway. She reached the kitchen, and flipped on the switch. She slung her purse onto the counter, and was about to drop into one of the chairs when she caught a shadow out of the corner of her eye. A scream ripped up her throat, and she whirled around, her fists draw up ready to fight.

"Whoa! Evelyn! It's me, Elle!" Elle held her hand alarmed, and took a step back just in case Evelyn took a swing.

Evelyn's eyes widened, and it took a moment for the sight of Elle to penetrate through the fog that surrounded her mind. "Elle," Evelyn's arms fell to her sides, and stood there for a long moment her eyes closed as she tried to gather herself. When she did, she peeled her eyes open to shoot a glare at her friend. "What the hell?" She demanded, darkly.

Elle held up her hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. I just let myself in," she jiggled the keys in her hands before she set them down on the kitchen counter. "This…is a really nice place. If you know get rid of all the boxes and clutter."

Evelyn ran her fingers through her hair as she shifted back and forth on her feet restlessly. Her skin itched, it crawled and there was no way that she could escape the feeling. "What are you doing here, Elle? How did you even find me? And how the hell did you find my key?" She asked, rapidly.

"Firstly, I got the files you wanted. Secondly, you're not the only one with sources, and thirdly, you hide your key underneath the yellow roses. You always have," Elle stated, with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Evelyn froze, and her lips turned downward. "London? Why are you getting sent to London? I thought they'd send you back to the Middle East," she commented, the unsettled sensation in the pit of her stomach grew tenfold.

Elle twisted her hands together, and looked down at the floor in hesitation. Then she raised her gaze, and spoke softly, "I'm being transferred to work along side MI-6 for-"

"_Hell no!" _Evelyn roared, her voice echoed off of every surface of the house. Elle winced, knowing that reaction was coming. Evie stood there, her breath sharp and shallow. Her feet paced the floor while her fingers knotted in her hand as she shook her head back and forth. "No, no, no! You can't! You can't trust them," her sounded rough and raw, jagged with an untold amount of emotions. Memories flashed before her eyes as fear and panic dug at her chest like vicious claws. She half heartedly reached out, as if to hold to something, but there wasn't anything to grace so she let her arms fall to her sides.

"Evie," Elle said, reaching out. She halted when Evelyn flinched back. "Calm down…calm down."

"Did you know?" Evelyn's voice was filled with a hysterical sob. Her back hit the wall as she leaned against it for support as her knees threatened to buckle right out from underneath her. She remembered the searing betrayal, she remembered screaming until she couldn't scream anymore, and she remembered the hands wrapped around her throat. "Did you know what they did?" She asked, roughly.

Elle closed her eyes against the tears. "I know, Evelyn. I know what all happened. I read the reports," she admitted, softly. "If I had known what was going to happen, how you were going to be framed…I would have done something. I swear, I would have."

"Just words," Evelyn shook her head, and she slid down until she was sitting upon the floor. "Just words now. Can't change it. Can't make it better. Just have to move on because it was the hazards of the job, that's what they said." She raised her gaze off of the floor, and looked up at Elle. Her words were rushed, and quick that they were almost indecipherable. "You can't trust them, Elle. They won't fully trust you, so you can't fully trust them. You have to remember that."

Elle walked over slowly, and knelt down in front of her. "Have you thought…have you thought about getting some help?" She asked, softly. "Some therapy…to help you get through it."

"I've been to therapy," Evelyn said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "It helped for a while, but with the whole being on the run and hiding isn't exactly conductive for all of that." She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her knees and pulled them against her chest. "You know, I had nightmares before that. I had nightmares before my memories returned. I didn't understand them. I was frightened, and terrified, and I could never save the red head woman that died in my lap every time! I had them after my memories came back, but understanding them…only made it worse," she admitted, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Then…then with Cathedral…it just gave me more nightmares. Sometimes, I feel like that's all my life is…one big nightmare."

"That's not true," Elle reached out, placing her hand over Evelyn's. "You have done a lot of good. If you don't recall, you saved thousands of lives in London just two years ago. I wouldn't call that a nightmare."

Evelyn snorted, dryly. "Depends on how you look at it," she sighed, heavily. She was bursting with the need to confide in Elle. To tell her everything, even down to the details that she held so guarded to her chest. The only thing that stopped her was that Elle was an optimist. She had a brightness about her, and the way she looked at everything. Evelyn didn't want to be the reason that changed. "You said you got it?" Evelyn shut everything down. She'd cried alone later, she thought as she brushed the stray tear off of her cheek.

Elle shifted, her brows furrowed. She didn't like the abrupt change in emotion of Evelyn. It felt off, but she knew if she pressed then Evelyn would retreat even more or worse lash out in a burst of anger. She knew the signs of PTSD like the back of her hand. "Yes. I did," she pulled her purse into her lap, and pulled out the file. She held it between her hands for a long moment, then sighed. "May I ask why you wanted everything on Pedro Hernandez?"

Evelyn took the file between her hands. "Snowballs," she stated, quietly.

"Snowballs?" Elle quirked up an eyebrow.

"Have you ever been in a snowball fight?" Evelyn asked, flipping the file open. Her stomach turned as her eyes landed on the picture of Pedro Hernandez. She had known of Pedro Hernandez ever since she got her memories back. She knew what he was, she knew what he had done. This was the first time she had ever seen his face. She hadn't known what she expected to feel when she saw that picture, but it was angry. Angry and cheated. This was the man that put everything into motion. Not the only reason that she ended up where was, but the one that got the wheel rolling. She flipped the page, expelling the air through her nose. "You make as many snowballs as you can, and save them until it's the right time to strike."

"I get that," Elle nodded. "I just don't get what it has to do with any of this."

"I didn't get to see what my dad went through. How my mother's and my deaths affect him. I don't know what he went through. I only see the aftermath, I see how hard the years have been on him. He didn't have such coldness in his eyes back then that he does now," Evelyn stated, her voice quite. Her eyes were however filled with a pain that could not be described. "I will not let something like that happen again. If I'm going to be bringing up the past, I have to be prepared for the skeletons that come with cleaning out that closet."

"And are you?" Elle asked, quietly. "Going to bringing up the past?"

Evelyn looked at her. "I honestly don't know."

Elle let out a breath, and lowered her gaze. She sat there fiddling with fingers, before she looked back at Evelyn. "Evelyn," she said, her brow furrowed worriedly. "Promise me that you'll get some help. I know that you'll insist that you are fine, and that you are coping. That you can handle whatever is going inside of that head of yours or what life is going to throw at you. But this…" she gestured towards Evelyn, her brown eyes weren't accusing or judging in the slightest. "This is not that. You are incredibly strong to have made this far, and do as well as you have been doing. But you are closer to the edge than I have ever seen anyone get without falling. You need someone to talk to. To confide in. So promise me that you will get help."

Evelyn stared at her for a long moment, then nodded. "I promise," she said, softly. She just hoped that she could keep it.

* * *

The next morning was nothing like the night before. It was clear blue skies, and warm. After visiting Abby and telling the lab tech that she had a good time, Evelyn headed down to the NCIS shooting range. She needed something to take out these boiling emotions building inside of her chest, and what better way than to put bullets into a target? Evelyn selected her target, slipped on her ear protectors and glasses, then went to the bench. The range had been setup with every precaution. Built on a slope, any bullets that strayed would either become buried into the hill or the bales of hay setup on either side of the range then beyond those were walls. NCIS was serious about safety and security it appeared.

Her mind was so jumbled. Lingering thoughts of the case, her father, her new neighbor that made her heart flutter, and not to mention the remnants of a hangover were all racing through her head without remorse. There was a time, Evelyn could have dealt with her emotions. A time that this wouldn't have made her almost have a meltdown. Tarasov had screwed her up. Cathedrals betrayal had screwed her up. She was a screw up. How did she think that coming to NCIS wouldn't just make things worse? How could she think that for one moment that she could just walk into her father's life and just stay silent? How could she think for one moment dancing with Lucas that she might have a chance at something normal? God, she was not looking forward to their next run in. She was on her second target, when she felt a presence behind her. She twitched ever so slightly, but finished out her clip before sliding her ear protectors off and letting them hang off her next and turned. A light shock jolted through her chest, but she kept her expression flat just raising an eyebrow. "Boss," she greeted Gibbs, with a slight nod.

"You could have shot him."

The statement was simple, and Gibbs eyes were upon the bullet ridden target. His blue eyes were sharp and appraising. She stared bemused, until she realized he was talking about the case. "I could have," she agreed, with a nod.

"Hmm." Gibbs took a few steps forward. "It would have been more simple. Easier," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you?"

"The situation didn't call for lethal force," Evelyn commented, with an air of certainty. Her hands moved, picking up her guns and clips, the need to get out of there in a hurry almost suffocating her. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and a cold, clammy sweat broke out along her skin.

"He was armed."

"I didn't know that," Evie stated, with a frown in his direction. "If I had, perhaps I would have went about it a different way. However, it all worked out at the end of the day," her words sounded hollow to her own ears.

Gibbs cocked his head to the side, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Law enforcement run in your family?" He asked, carefully.

"Military," she replied, shortly.

"Army?" He guessed.

"Marines," she answered, nervously sliding her gun back into her holster. "My dad. He was a Marine," she added, her voice thick with emotion. It left a bittersweet feeling in the pit of her stomach, and for a moment she felt herself consider telling him. That she was Kelly. In her heart in that moment she wanted to tell him, but she told herself, if she was going to tell him that right now was not the time nor the place. However, she needed to be honest with him. She twisted knotted her fingers together, and stared at him for a long moment, before she sighed heavily. "What will happen to Private West?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked.

"He killed people. He has to pay for that, I understand that. But his actions weren't all his own. He was forced down that path. He needs to go to a place where he can mental help, and a regular prison isn't going to do that," Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest, and looked up at Gibbs, her blue eyes troubled.

"That isn't up to us, Matthews," Gibbs told her. "We've done our part."

"You mean there is nothing we can do?" Evie asked. "Nothing at all?"

"We've built the case, found the evidence, and caught the killer. Now, it's the in the courts hands to decide what is to be done with Darrin West," Gibbs stated, a bit of sympathy in his blue eyes as he regarded her. "Sometimes, we get called to testify, but other than that there is little more we can do."

"How can you live like that? You do all this work, and then have to hand it over, and just hope that some kind of justice gets served?" Evelyn asked, aghast.

"You do what you have do, and hope that you've done enough," Gibbs stated. He made it sound so simple when in truth it really wasn't.

She drew in a breath, and cleared her throat before she continued. "That's sounds like a hard life," she murmured out, her gaze thoughtful.

"It is," Gibbs nodded. "Not for the faint of heart."

"I kind of gathered that," Evelyn gave a half smirk, but it soon slipped off her lips. She looked up at him and her gaze seemed to pin him to the spot. "Have you ever had something you regretted? A case that you felt that it wasn't enough?"

Gibbs looked down for a second. He could see it now, how she was like him. "Yeah," he admitted with a nod. "All the time."

Evelyn was surprised. She hadn't actually thought he would have answered that. Her lips dipped downward in a frown, and she turned to face him more directly. She felt the urge to say something to him, to confide more into him when she jolted at the noise of a cell phone going off. Gibbs reached into his suit pocket, and pulled out his cellphone. "Gibbs," he barked out. His eyes flashed, and he heaved a sigh. "Where? We're on our way."

Evelyn's eyebrows rose. "We've got a case?" She inquired, arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, we got a case," Gibbs nodded, and turned on his heel. Evelyn watched him for a moment, before she chose to follow. Everything was far from being resolved, but for the moment she felt like she could cope.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Edited 1/21/2016**

**Hope you all enjoyed.**

**Next Chapter: **Evelyn sets about getting herself some help while she finds a friend and confident in Lucas who is doubting his mission. Gibbs gets closer to the truth while they deal with a case that may send Evelyn back into a deep dark place. **Next chapter will have mentions of sexual assault and torture. I will put another warning in the next chapter.**

**On a lighter note, here is the soundtrack I compiled for this fic. Music often helps me write, and I decided to make a Spooks Edition Soundtrack. I thought I would let you guys see what helps inspire me.**

Spooks Soundtrack

1.) _Once_ by Bradley Caleb Kane

2.) _Losing Your Memory _by Ryan Star

3.) _What If _by Emilie Autumn

4.) _Sometimes _by Melanie Hornell (Evelyn's Theme)

5.) _Comes and Goes _by Greg Laswell (Gibbs's Theme)

6.) _Gone Too Soon _by Sarah Jarosz (Lucas and Evelyn's Theme)

7.) _Lifeline _by Katie Trotta

8.) _Nicotine _by Panic! At the Disco

9.) _Sweet Dreams _by Emily Browning

**It's not finished, and if anyone feels that they know a song that might go well with this fic, recommend it. It just may end up on the list. :D**

**Rrs are appreciated. :D**


	9. All These Little Things

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely. **

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Sir-Tannin, Soccergirl0388, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, TehyaRiddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, jrfan2383, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **1959JohnDeere90, JrSnape, Calista Mason, and Burned Spy! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews: **No guest reviews at this time.

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE**

"**All These Little Things"**

The room smelled stale. Vaguely like mold though she could not pinpoint exactly where the smell would come from since the room appeared immaculately kept. Evelyn's brows were pinched as she looked through the fringes of her hair at the woman that sat across from her. She wouldn't lie and say she wanted to be here. She didn't. She didn't like that she supposed to expose herself to this woman, and lay all her problems bear. Evelyn tapped her fingers against the arms of the chair, as she patiently waited for the shrink to continue her line of questioning.

"How have you been sleeping?" Dr. Mendez asked, her pen posed above her clipboard.

"Some nights soundly. Others I can't seem to get to sleep at all," Evelyn answered, truthfully. A split second after she said it she wished she hadn't. Her fingers curled slowly into fists, and she rapped them gently against armrests.

The therapist took a long pause before she wrote something down on the paper. "Have these nightmares gotten worse? Better? Or have they stayed the same?" Dr. Mendez asked, her voice calm and gentle.

"The same. They stay the same," Evelyn replied.

Dr. Mendez nodded, and made another note. "Have you gone to therapy before?" She asked, lightly.

"Yes. Before I relocated from London," Evie nodded her head ever so slightly. "I went for about a month…and half maybe. I was exactly focused on keeping track of time."

"And how long have you been here?" Dr. Mendez asked.

"About six months," Evelyn said, softly.

"How long have you been working at NCIS?" Dr. Mendez then asked.

Evelyn's flickered to the psychiatrist, confused. "Two," she answered, lightly. "I've been working there for two months."

"And you are only seeking treatment now?" Dr. Mendez's brows rose in surprise as she set back in her chair. "Why?"

Evelyn lowered her gaze downward before she raised her chin. "I promised a friend that I would," she stated, softly.

"Hmmm. Alright. I'm going to ask a question and I do not want you to feel like I'm judging you, okay?" After Evelyn's nod, Dr. Mendez asked, quietly, "How invested on you in getting help? Truly?"

Evelyn gave her a strange look. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes," Dr. Mendez inclined her head. "But not of your own violation. You came here because you made your friend a promise, not because you wanted to. I can honestly say I'm not sure how well any treatment will work for you if you aren't here because you want to be helped."

Evelyn didn't say anything for a long time. "I don't…I don't want to always be afraid," Evie stated, running her fingers through her hair nervously.

"I know that. I can see that," Dr. Mendez said, with a sympathetic smile. "But that doesn't mean you've admitted that you need help to get past your fears. I want to assign you to a group therapy session if you are willing. You don't have to talk, if you aren't ready for that it is understandable, but maybe if you listen to people who have gone through similar situations it might help."

Evelyn heaved a deep breath before her shoulders slumped. "Alright. I'll try anything once," she agreed, though there is a churning in the pit of her stomach. A foreboding sensation that she does not care for at all, and it stays with her long after the session is over.

* * *

_The first thing he was aware of was the smell of pie, and he opened his eyes to find himself standing in the diner he frequented. Gibbs was not so far gone that he could not tell this was a dream, he knew it was one. Especially when he saw who was waiting for him at his usual booth. His heart leapt into his throat as he saw Kelly sitting there drawing in a little sketchbook. A fond smile curled his lips, his Kelly always did love to draw. He stepped forward, despite knowing that as soon as the dream ended it would all come crashing back. But for now, he would enjoy it._

_His eyes flickered to the red head who sat with her back away from him. _Shannon_, he thought. _That had to be Shannon_. His footsteps drew him closer until the reached the table. Kelly's head raised upward, and she sent him a big warm smile. "Daddy," she said, happily. _

"_Kelly," he wrapped one arm around her and turned to face Shannon with a smile when his smile promptly dropped. "You?" His voice border lining on accusing at he stared at the smiling Evelyn Matthews. _

"_Me," Evelyn said, with a shrug of her shoulders._

"_What are you doing here?" Gibbs couldn't help, but ask._

"_I'm not here to annoy," Evelyn held her hands in surrender while she gave a bright laugh. "Seriously, I'm here to help."_

"_Help with what?" Gibbs barked out._

"_Why ask a question…you already know that answer to?" Evelyn cocked her head to the side, and looked up at him. For a moment, it was on the tip of his tongue. Some truth that kept alluding him, and he almost had it in his grasp then…_His eyes jolted open and he found himself in his basement, laying bent over his desk. He groaned as he sat up and his back cracked. He had fallen asleep sketching up the plans for his new boat. Gibbs ran hand down his face, rubbing his tired eyes and he frowned, trying to recall the hazy dream. He couldn't recall the facts, or details. He just had the strangest feeling he had forgotten something very important. With a rough sigh, he stood up and gathered himself for another long day.

* * *

She moved out of her home down the steps of her porch, walking with unhurried steps, unaware of his presence. Lucas crossed the yard as silently as his feet would let him, while his blue eyes watched Evelyn, unblinkingly. She was still a good distance away, so he had plenty of time to absorb her. Her pencil skirt hugged the gentle curve of her hips lovingly, her short flared blue jacket was a pop of color that the severe black shirt and silk shirt needed. He felt stripped of his armor every time he looked at Evelyn, like he was entirely exposed. He had a nagging feeling that she felt the same way. He crossed the rest of the yard as she unlocked her car, her back was to him. "Hello," he broken the silence.

He watched her jump and whirl around on him with wide blue eyes. "Oh." Evelyn's pink lips were parted in an O-shape as she stared at him a second longer, a hand pressed to her chest in shock.

"I'm sorry," Lucas gave her a sheepish smile. "I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

"You…you just gave me a mini heart is all," Evie let out a breathless chuckle, taking a step back and putting a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her delicate throat shifted as she swallowed thickly, trying to find her footing once more. "Hello again," she smiled, a tad bit nervously.

"Hello," Lucas said, with that crooked grin of his that just made Elizabeth feel a bit breathless.

She cleared her throat, and looked down. "Well, I have to go so I guess I will-" She started to make the excuse, when Lucas cut her off.

"Come have dinner with me," he interrupted.

Evelyn's jaw dropped. "Pardon?"

"Come have dinner with me. We are neighbors, we should after all get to know each other better," Lucas made the offer, a charming half smile slowly spread across his face. "My place tonight around seven."

Evelyn stood very still, the wind picking up strands of her hand and twisting them about. She felt a splinter in her soul, a old fear that came back in that moment. _Dinner? _She thought, swallowing thickly. She hadn't gone out to dinner with a guy since…Evelyn opened her mouth, but her words came out as a single choked syllable. Lucas's smile turned into a light frown, and he reached out to touch her arm slightly. She automatically tensed, like a frightened rabbit about to scurry away. "Is having dinner with me that terrifying?" He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, and his blue eyes seemed to trying to search her.

She gave him a shaky smile. "No. No, it's not," she denied, and was lying through her teeth. Of course she had reservations, but not in the way that he thought. She would love to be able to have dinner with someone. She was twenty four years old, and she should be out dating. She looked up and found herself staring into a pair of blue kind eyes. Memories of the bar came back, how she wanted to be at easy around him. How for just a moment, she hadn't been afraid. "I…I can't though. I have to work tonight," Evelyn explained, lightly. "I won't be home until after eight, and well, any dinner date after that is really just a booty call."

Lucas tried not to smile when her eyes went wide, and she looked up at him shocked by her own words. "Not that I am offering anything like that. I don't know you well to make any offers like that," Evelyn stated, quickly. Her cheeks burned, and were red with mortification. She should just start digging a hole to China, it would be so much easier. "Not that I make any offers like that at all because I don't make them."

"Much to the disappointment of the sea of lovestruck men you have left in your wake not doubt," Lucas teased, with a half smirk. He admired blush that glossed over her cheeks with a quiet chuckle.

"That is a gross overstatement," Evie chuckled, trying to hide a small smile. "I do not have a sea of lovestruck men behind me."

"Are you sure on that? Or have you kept moving forward without glancing behind you to see the men who had to be falling over themselves to have a chance with you?" He asked, with a wide grin.

"I do believe that you are trying to charm me," Evelyn said, fighting an amused smile and failing.

"That I am," Lucas admitted, not in the least bit ashamed. "Is it working?" He inquired, arching a questions eyebrow.

"Just a little bit," Evie admitted, looking down at her feet. She looked beautiful in the light, Lucas realized. Her skin seemed to capture the glow of the morning sun and she looked ethereal. He felt the urge to touch her face to draw his thumb across the soft skin, but he immediately regained his composure. She was skittish, and he could not afford to do anything to drive her off.

Evelyn watched him through the lashes of her eyes, and Lucas knew she was attracted to him. That made her even more wary. The fact that she physically responded to a stranger obviously bothered her. Possibly in the same way that it affected him. He should not let himself be so concerned, he told himself silently. He had no business thinking of her as anything but a mark. However, he had this reticence over it all. How long had it been since he had cared for something other than himself? Back in London, nearly two years ago. This woman ignited a part of him he thought dead and gone.

"Alright," Evelyn blurted out.

"Alright?" Lucas's eyes shot upward in surprise.

"You sound surprised," Evelyn said.

"I have to admit I didn't think you'd give in so easily," Lucas admitted, running a hand along his jaw thoughtfully.

"Honestly? I didn't think I would either," said Evelyn, softly. For some reason, she felt that Lucas had been through something tragic and personal, not unlike herself. Her eyes softened with understanding and compassion while she twisted her keys between her fingers. She didn't accept the dinner out of pity. No, she did it for herself. For so long she stood in the shadow of everything that had happened to her and she did not want to live her life that way. She wasn't saying that this would change anything. She had a lot of scars, and wounds and there was no quick fix for that. However, she did hope that it was step in the right direction. "So…guess that I'll see you later," Evelyn smiled slightly.

"Yes," Lucas breathed out. "See you later."

* * *

Tony idly rolled back and forth in his chair. He sunk noisily upon his drink as he clicked the mouse, his eyes narrowed on his computer screen. After another minute of sucking down the drink, Ziva tossed her pen to her desk with more force than necessary. "What are you doing?" Ziva asked, glaring.

"An orange slushie," Tony answered.

"How old are you?" Ziva gave him a flat look.

Tony just gave a taunting look as he gave another loud slurp. Ziva just rolled her eyes in frustration, and looked down at her paperwork. Tony looked around idly, before he glanced over at McGee. He finally got out of his cast, and was looking entirely too pleased with himself. Pulling his lips free from the straw, he narrowed his eyes. "What's got you so happy, McGee?" He demanded to know. Tony was a bit nosy. Alright, Tony was a lot nosy but that was because he didn't like things.

"None of your business, Tony," McGee said, his voice filled with exasperation as his fingers clicked across the keyboard.

"Oh, come on," Tony slid back in the computer seat before he rose to his feet and walked over to McGee's desk. "Don't be like. We're all friends here. What are you up to, McFlower Power?"

"If you must know," McGee sighed, heavily then twisted his monitor to show him a picture of a blond haired and beautiful young woman. "I am arranging a date with her."

"I'm impressed, McGee," Ziva's eyebrows rose with intrigue as she walked up to his desk.

Tony stared at the picture, taken aback. "Just for clarification sake…she does know about the date, doesn't he McGee?" He asked.

"Yes, Tony," McGee glared. "We've been talking for several weeks, and I think that she really likes me."

Tony clapped his hands down on McGee's shoulders. "Hottie McTottie scoring himself a girl," Tony looked at the photo with appreciation. Then he shot McGee a look, eyebrow raised. "What's the catch?" He demanded.

"Catch?" McGee gave him a look. "What makes you think there is a catch?"

"If someone like her," Tony pointed at the sexy blond then twisted his hand to where he was pointing at McGee, "is going after someone like you…there's always a catch, McGee."

"There isn't a catch, Tony," McGee denied, sourly. "She is a beautiful young woman, who is smart and has a great job and-" He halted when Ziva tapped something on the screen of the computer.

"Purity pledge?" Ziva's face scrunched up. "What is that?"

McGee's cheeks turned pink. "It means…it means she wants to wait until after marriage to have…sex," McGee mumbled out, a bit uncomfortably.

"Ha, see!" Tony said, triumphantly. "I knew there was catch!"

"There is nothing wrong waiting to have sex until after marriage, Tony," McGee stated, firmly.

"There is everything wrong with it, McGee. How are you supposed to know someone without really _knowing _them? You can't. And what if they are bad at it then you stuck with them until death do you part or until an attorney hands you the divorce papers."

"Glad to see that romance is still alive," Ziva stated, sarcastically with an eye roll as she went about finishing up her report.

"_I_ happen to believe in sex before marriage," Tony informed them as if Ziva did not say anything, with a slight smirk and over exaggerated wiggle of his brow.

"Of course you do, DiNizzo," Gibbs walked past them to get to his desk. "Otherwise you'd never have any."

Tony sputtered, red faced for a moment and his eyes bulged with his panic. "Hi, boss, didn't see you there," Tony managed to find his voice and concealed his embarrassment.

"Won't be for much longer," Gibbs commented, distractedly as he gathered his gear. "We've got a case."

"Uh, shouldn't we wait on Evelyn?" Tony asked.

"She is meeting us there," Gibbs stated, sharply. "Let's go."

* * *

Lucas put his feet on the ground, shut the car door behind him and began walking. He walked several blocks, his eyes scanned anyone and everything for anything out of place. So far his eyes did not find anything, but that didn't mean anything. He kept his hand around the butt of his glock hidden by his sweatshirt as he made his way to the storage unit. Once, he had his identity in place (relatively easy given how many Lucas Norths lived in North America and his '_death'_) and to retrieve any lost items. He even managed a police report in New York where he got a ticket for speeding. Then another in Los Angeles where he was mugged. His mother was Russian, his father Briton. He was born in Acton. He liked his new past.

He was on autopilot, his body moving of its on accord until he found himself in the second row, where several smaller units were housed in a long line. All of them looked them, one was not distinguishable from the other. It didn't matter, his feet took him where he needed to be. Pulling on his leather glove, he punched in his code. It was only known to him, but that did not stop him from entering the storage unit with extreme caution. His eyes swept over every individual shadow until he was satisfied that there was nothing there except for him.

The suitcase was where he had positioned it behind some unassuming boxes filled with random junk. He checked the floor for any signs of disturbance amongst the dust and spider webs, but he found none. He carefully took suitcase, only pausing for the brief of seconds to check it over before he left the storage unit. He did not want a chance to be discovered. Fornell was only as trustworthy as the leash his superiors would allow him to be, and Lucas was not willing to fully put his trust with the FBI.

He had other options if such a time came to break ties, but he wouldn't use them unless the situation changed. As of right now, it hadn't. He set the suitcase into the passenger and shut the door before he walked around the car with lengthy strides. He got into the car, and twisted to the keys. The engine purred to the life, and he quickly made his way back onto the highway. It was the best place to lose a tail if he had one.

Lucas was overly cautious. With his life, and all the choices he could not take back had to be. He knew that the chances MI-5 were looking for him were slim for the odds of his survival were minuscule. That did not mean that it was completely out of the realm of possibility. Grey clouds rumbled above, and he knew that it would storm tonight.

* * *

"Someone wants the truth, someone always has something hide," Ducky looked down at the body with a keen eye. "And here we are caught in the middle of it all, trying to figure it out. Poor man…"

"Does it help?" Evelyn wondered, curiously. She was knelt down, carefully and snapped pictures of the crime scene. "Talking to them, I mean."

"Well, he may not be alive, but he is still human," Ducky said, pressing the thermometer into the man's liver while Evelyn repressed a shudder. "What we do is so invasive, and impersonal. Talking to them helps me establish a relationship. The language of silence may be one to hear, but when they do the dead do not lie."

Evelyn nodded. "You are one of a kind, Ducky," she smiled at him before she rose to her feet. The crime scene was surprisingly subdued compared to the others she had seen so far. The body, a Petty Officer Marks, had been hidden behind the dumpster. Stab marks to the throat and chest, chaotic and sloppy. His ex-girlfriend who was high and holding the bloody knife at the scene had already been taking in to be processed. It seemed rather straight forward.

"A storm's coming," Gibbs said, sternly. "They want us to gather the evidence before the crime scene becomes contaminated, or washed away. And just because this looks to be straight forward, doesn't mean it is. Never assume."

"Got it," Evelyn nodded, half-heartedly. She was still mostly focused on taking photos and barely noticed when he walked over to talk to Ducky about the victim. She paused to glance up at his back for a long moment, a torn feeling welling up inside her chest. Every time she looked at him lately, the truth swelled up in her throat and almost slipped right off her tongue. Her heart pounded in her chest a mile a minute and she dropped her gaze back down at the crime scene. "Hello, Ziva," she commented, catching the other woman out of the corner of her eye. "How are you?"

"Fine," Ziva replied, shortly. "And what of yourself? Are you alright, Evelyn?"

The words were kind, but there was a slight edge to Ziva's voice that made Evelyn's spine straightened. She looked over her shoulder at Ziva with a curious eyebrow arched. "What do you mean?" Evelyn asked, her brow furrowed.

"The other night at the bar…" Ziva began.

"What about it?" Evelyn blinked. It had been nearly two weeks since that all happened, why did the Mossad Officer feel the need to bring it up now? Abby hadn't, though Abby had been quite of out of it. She had been relieved that she hadn't had to explain why she fled so abruptly, but maybe that relief was premature.

"I saw how you reacted," Ziva stated, simply. There was no judgment in her tone, but her eyes stared down at Evelyn full of calculation.

"And your point?" Evelyn asked, because Ziva would not have brought it up without reason.

"It's not normal. One does not react that way normally," Ziva stated, a bit tersely. Her lips pursed, and she stared at Evelyn with a guarded expression.

"Well, I've never been keen on being normal," Evelyn stated, with a wryly grin that she hoped would throw Ziva off the trail the woman had unwittingly found herself upon. Ziva was suspicious by nature, and was like a dog with a bone on a case. Much like DiNozzo, except for the fact that most times she was more subtle about it. She took a few more pictures, but Ziva lingered like a vulture looking over her shoulder. "Is that all you had to say? Or is there more? Because if there is, just say it. The rain is about to start, and I'd rather have this done before we end up like drowned rats," Evie usually wasn't so brusque nor so rude, but something about the way Ziva looked at her grated on her nerves. It made her feel like she had been backed into a corner, though there was no way that Ziva could know that. Nor could she know why Evelyn fled. No, those terrors were hers only. No one else's.

"You hold yourself braced for an attack. Every second. Every moment. That is not someone has never been in combat before. That is someone who has seen a fight," Ziva stated, arms crossed over her chest. "But you have no record of anything like that in your background. Nothing."

"Not all battles are recorded," Evie stated, haughtily.

Ziva's lips thinned out. "What are we supposed to believe about you, Evelyn? That you are new at this? Because you clearly are not," Ziva said, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. She did not like this at all. In the beginning, she had been willing to give Evelyn a chance. Of course, she had assumed that Gibbs would find a way to have her off the team within a week. With the way he had treated her, Ziva half expected Evelyn to crumble, but she didn't. Ziva admired that. Then…then something changed. Gibbs no longer treated Evelyn with the harshness he had greeted her with, he treated as if she were one of the team. He had taken to her so quickly, that paired with the fact that she acted far from the probie her background proclaimed her to be made Ziva more than a little suspicious.

The bar had been the finally nail in the coffin. She had seen PTSD before. She had several co-workers who had been afflicted by it. Evelyn was hiding something, and Ziva was determined to find it out before it could hurt anyone she cared about.

If Ziva thought Evelyn was going to let her see the effect her words had, then it was clear these past two months that Ziva hadn't been paying attention as much as she thought she did. Evelyn's lips pursed, the only give away that she was agitated. "Believe what you want," Evelyn said, with a shrug of her shoulder. "It's what everyone else does."

And with that she turned her back on Ziva. She walked over to Gibbs who was up the by van, and started packing the camera away. "All done with the photos," she informed, her voice sounding mechanically to her own ears. "Anywhere else you need me, boss?"

Gibbs looked at her, wordless for a split second. Concern flashed through his eyes as his brows furrowed the longer he stared at her. "Matthews, you alright?" He asked, roughly. It didn't take an investigator to see the troubled expression on her face. She blinked up at him surprise, and he didn't know whether she was surprised _he _had asked or that _someone_ had noticed at all.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" Evelyn asked, taken aback for the briefest of moments.

Gibbs arched an eyebrow to say, _Really? _

Evelyn pursed her lips. "I'm fine, boss," she stated, neutrally. Her expression was carefully composed, but Gibbs didn't believe it for one second.

"You're lying," Gibbs stated.

"Everyone lies about something," Evelyn admitted, her face softened with a half smile and little helpless shrug. "Even when we don't mean to."

"Hmmm." Gibbs narrowed his eyes ever so slightly, but he didn't comment any further. "Everything done?" He looked past her at DiNozzo, McGee and Ziva who were heading there way.

"Everything's bagged and tagged," Tony said, more than a little relieved as thunder rumbled above. The clouds churned and were now a dark blue with no trace of the former grey.

"Let's head out."

* * *

Lucas's phone buzzed while he was in the middle of sorting out the cash, and files from his suitcase. He set down his small laptop, and grabbed his phone. He flipped it open with a heavy sigh, and stared at the screen with a deep frown.

_Looking forward to hearing about your progress. -T.F._

Lucas snapped the phone shut with more force than necessary and rested his chin upon his wrist. He stared at his surroundings for a long moment without actually seeing them before he scrubbed his eyes roughly. He had shed one skin for another with ease, had traded one nation for another without batting an eye. Why was one woman creating such turmoil within him? How had she gotten under his skin so quickly? It was a terrifying thing, and it left him angry. He was not vulnerable. He was not meant to be.

Heart pounding in his chest, he closed his eyes and counted backwards in his head from ten. _Not tonight, _he focused on containing himself with deep and even breath. He would not allow his emotions and his memories to come forth tonight. He would not allow himself to the remember the burning skin of electricity across his skin. He wouldn't allow himself remember the fight to catch his breath as he felt like he was drowning. He focused on his breathing and for several seconds, his heart beat as fast as a humming birds wings against his ribs.

Then slowly his muscles uncurled, the tension draining from him and it left him tired. Lucas opened his eyes, and dropped the phone onto the table with a loud clatter. He was not vulnerable. He would never be again.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Next Chapter: **Evelyn is confronted by her demons, and Lucas may be the only one who can understand. Gibbs is determined to uncover the reasons for Ziva's distrust of Evelyn. **Next Chapter Warning: This will contain mentions of sexual assaults, and torture. Reader discretion is advised.**

**References and Languages:**

**Acton: **Acton is a district west of London, England, located in London Borough of Ealing. Acton means "oak farm" or "farm by oak trees". That is mainly I chose Acton was because of its name meaning "oak farm", it's my way to tip the hat to Richard Armitage's character Thorin Oakenshield. If you're a Hobbit fan, go check out my fic "Made of Stone". :D

**RRs are appreciated. :D**


	10. A Chill Down Your Spine

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

**Pairings: **Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

**This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely. **

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, TehyaRiddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, jrfan2383, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **BurnedSpy, castilia mason, and tammy henson! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

**Guest Reviews:**

**Castilia Mason: Here it is! Hope you enjoy! :D**

**THIS CHAPTER IS LOOSELY BASED ON AN EPISODE OF 'CASTLE', which I don't own. Disclaimer just in case.**

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

"**A Chill Down Your Spine"**

"Frozen?" Evelyn's eyebrows shot upward. For a moment, she almost laughed at the absurdity of it and was completely sure that this was one of Tony's jokes.

"Yep," McGee nodded.

"_Frozen?" _Evelyn's tone was filled with disbelief. She looked back and forth between McGee and Tony as if waiting for the Candid Camera moment, but it didn't happen. "You two are having me on," she crossed her arms over her chest, and her eyes were narrowed. Her blue eyes pierced into them, silently demanding they fess up now.

"Nope," Tony looked a tad too gleeful. "Our Petty Officer Marks was frozen like a popsicle for a week or so according to Ducky before he was thawed out and stabbed then left behind the dumpster."

"Then what about the blood?" Evelyn asked, sitting forward in her chair suddenly intrigued. A delicate frown was upon her face as she looked down at the crime scene photos upon her desk.

"It's not Petty Officer Marks," Tony replied.

"The ex's?" Evelyn asked.

"Not hers either," McGee shook his head.

Evelyn's brow furrowed. "Then who the hell is it belong to? Another victim?" She asked, tunneling her fingers through her hair.

"That's what I intend to find out, Matthews," Gibbs walked into the squad room his signature coffee cup in hand and the Gibbs Glare Stare upon his face. "McGee, do you have Madeline Tyler's file?"

"They just finished faxing it over," McGee replied, and handed him the file as he passed by.

"Madeline Tyler?" Gibbs looked over at Tony.

"In Interrogation One," Tony replied, promptly.

"Good," Gibbs gave a nod. "Matthews, you are with me."

"To interrogation?" Evelyn blinked owlishly up at him. A tremble of unease ran down her spine, but it had nothing to do with Gibbs. No, it had everything to do with the interrogation. She knew the inside of an interrogation. Isolated, surrounded by four walls. The light too bright, or too low. The room too cold, or too hot. Everything about an interrogation room was setup to set people off balance and a tightening sensation in her lungs.

"Now, Matthews," Gibbs had his back already turned towards her and marched out. Evelyn drew in a sharp breath, and glanced around the squad room before she rushed after him. They made it down the stairs and the hallway before she was able to reach his side, having to practically jog to catch up to his lengthy strides.

"Uh, boss, I think there is something you need to know," she started, with her pulse thumping in her throat. "I can't go into that interrogation room. I really can't."

Gibbs halted, and she nearly ran into him. She took a step back when he turned around and arched a brow in her direction. "What is the problem, Matthews?" Gibbs stared down his nose at her.

Evelyn shifted from foot to foot. "Actually, I do have one," she said, rocking back on her feet. Her blue eyes glanced at the interrogation door and she swallowed. "I'm…I'm not sure I can go in there…" She ran her fingers down the column of her throat, nervously.

"Why?" Gibbs asked, brow furrowed.

Evelyn gave him a look, then she let out a sigh. "It's small. It's too small and I can't be in there," she wrapped her arms around her midsection, tightly.

"You're claustrophobic?" Gibbs asked, surprised.

"Don't look at me like," Evelyn said, defensively. "Yes. I have issues with small spaces. Especially enclosed…small spaces…" She cast a wary glance at the door and could stop the shiver that ran down her spine. "I'm not sure that if I go in that I'm not going to have a panic attack."

Gibbs frowned. "Do you have panic attacks often?" He asked, lightly. That had not been mentioned in her file, and a sense of concern fell over him. Why hadn't it been in her file?

Evelyn hesitated for the briefest of moments. "Not as often as before, but they…they are triggered by certain things. I don't know if I can go in there without having one," she admitted, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. It was hard for her to admit it that, especially to him and she knew that admitted it out loud that it could easily have her taken off of active duty. "I usually can keep myself in check. Especially when I am when I'm working. It helps me stay focused, so I can do my job."

"I never said you couldn't," Gibbs said.

Her shoulder eased with the small amount of comfort. "I just…I don't like anyone thinking I'm weak," she stated, quietly. And she didn't like it. And she most certainly didn't like feeling that way.

"I never thought you were," Gibbs told her, and he was sincere. Not once in his mind did he ever consider Evelyn weak. Irritating at times, yes. Weak, no. "You are going to have to one day be able to go into there, Evelyn."

"I know that," Evie nodded. "But not today."

Gibbs thought about for a split second, then nodded. Normally he wouldn't agree, but there was something so vulnerable that flashed through Evelyn's gaze that made him halt. "Wait outside if that's what you want," Gibbs told her, and he walked into the interrogation room.

Evelyn stared at the door with a heavy heart. A lost expression on her face as she let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the wall. She closed her eyes as she pressed her hands over her face. _The room was small. The concrete walls barely five feet apart. It smelt worse than death, and her cheek was pressed down against the floor. Tear stains were upon her cheeks and as the door creaked open, she just wanted to die. _Evelyn's heart jolted in her chest when she felt a hand rest upon her shoulder and she shoved the hand away, stumbling backward.

Abby blinked, her lips parted in surprise. For several seconds, neither of them moved then Evelyn's muscles slowly uncoiled one by one. "Abby…you…" Evelyn licked her lips, her voice breathless. "You startled me."

"I noticed," Abby tried to smile, but there was a worried furrow in her brow. "Are you…are you alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Evelyn said, she tried to put on a convincing smile. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and swallowed thickly. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she took in a deep breath. "What…what did you need?"

"Oh. Right. I just got the results back from Janine Madison's tox screen back from and she's clean," Abby stated, a bit of worry in her hazel eyes as she regarded Evelyn closely. "Not a single drug in her system save for some low grade aspirin."

"So she really was sober?" Evie asked.

"The results do not lie," Abby told her.

"Okay. So she wasn't high, just freaked out," Evie said, hands on her hips. "I suppose it could be a crime of passion."

The interrogation door opened, and Gibbs stepped out. His expression was blank, but there was s sharpness to his eyes as he thought over everything he had just been told. As soon as he saw them, he headed straight towards them. "How did it go?" Evelyn asked, her head tilted to the side.

"Janine Madison said that Marks text her to meet him there. That he wanted to talk to her," Gibbs stated, then his eyes flickered over to Abby. "Any truth to her words, Abs?"

"Yes. After looking through Madison's phone, we found that text," Abby stated. "Told her the time and place to meet him."

"She found his dead body, and freaks," Evie said, eyebrow raised upward. This case was getting stranger and stranger with each passing second. "And gets the blame. How convenient."

"Too convenient," Gibbs stated, sharply. He was being to think there was a lot more behind this than just a Petty Officer's death. It was too planned, too meticulous to have been planned on the fly. "What about the evidence collected from Marks's house?"

Abby made a face. "Yeah…about that…"

"What is it, Abby?" Evelyn asked, worriedly.

Abby gave a helpless shrug. "We don't exactly have that evidence," the goth gnawed on her bottom lip, and her hazel looked up at Gibbs filled with a bit apprehension.

"What?" Gibbs barked.

* * *

Evelyn had never seen Gibbs with such a livid expression on his face. Abby had quickly hurried back down to her lab while Evelyn trailed after the man who stalked up the stairs like an angry wolf. Evelyn followed him, wide eyes trained on his back until they reached the squad room. Her eyes flickered past Gibbs and she saw someone leaning against Ziva's desk. A cord of familiarity struck through her, but she couldn't place where she had ever seen this man before.

"Fornell, what are you doing here?" Gibbs groused when he reached the other man.

"Why, joining the investigation," Fornell looked a little too smug at this and turned to face Gibbs with a smirk on his face. His eyes then flickered over to Evelyn, and his eyebrow shot upward. "I don't believe we have met. Agent Tobias Fornell."

"Evelyn Matthews," she introduced herself.

"Pleasure," Fornell said, shortly.

Evelyn's eyes narrowed. She had a feeling that it would be anything, but. Gibbs apparently felt the same way, and he pinned Gibbs gave Fornell pointed look. "What to tell me why a dead Petty Officer has intrigued the FBI?" Gibbs asked, crossly. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he stared at Fornell as if trying to determine what exactly he was playing at.

"Not so much as the man as what was found in his house," Fornell stated, his smirk turned into a grimace. "We found evidence of a bomb being built."

"A bomb?" Gibbs looked shocked.

"A dirty bomb," McGee pulled up the evidence photos that showed a crudely made blueprint for the bomb as well evidence that it had been built in the basement of the house. "Dirty bombs are designed to instill fear in a populace. The majority of the immediate damage is going to come from the conventional explosion, creating a kill zone."

"Except for, it's not just a building that falls." Evelyn's face was pale and her blue eyes were stark filled with bone chilling shock. "It spreads radiation for several blocks. That makes a secondary kill zone. If left untreated, people can die from radiation poisoning in less than a week. Babies, kids, adults. People will flock to the hospitals, reporting everything. It will be like being attacked all over again."

"McGee, go down to Abby. Give me a list of every significant event going on in the city for the next 48 hours. Any place where people might gather in large numbers," Gibbs ordered, darkly.

"That's going to be a long list. This is Washington, there has to be hundreds of events taking place everyday," McGee said, a worried frown upon his lips.

"We should focus on anything political or government related. There any sporting events going on, what's happening at the U.N. Maybe there's a reason they're choosing to strike now," Ziva suggested, her arms folded over her chest and her dark eyes narrowed.

"You got that McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"Got it, boss," McGee nodded, and rushed out of the squad room.

"Any suspects?" Gibbs turned toward Fornell.

"A man named, Kevin McCall," Fornell decided to divulge as he slid his hands into his jacket pocket. "The man is the classic sociopath. Hurt animals at a young age, and even burned the neighbor kid with cigarette buds. He went to juvie for about two years for that, but he was let out early for good behavior. This guy has been a ticking time bomb all his life, and some extremists just love those."

"You think he was recruited?" Tony asked, with a frown.

"We know he was," Fornell countered, darkly. "About a year and half ago, we caught a sleeper cell and found schematics for a bomb. The same blueprints we found in Marks's house. After a bit of interrogation, we got McCall's name out of them."

A shiver ran down Evelyn's spine. She had no doubt what kind of interrogation it was, and her expression pinched. She fiddled with the chain of her necklace in an attempt to calm her racing heart. The sense of déjà vu was not lost on her. It was like London all over again. The sheer panic, the sense of helplessness, and she hoped that is all that she would ended up reliving. With a deep calming breath, she brushed her hair out of her face. "But that doesn't explain how or why Petty Officer Marks ended up dead," Evelyn pointed out. Her blue eyes narrowed, and her jaw clenched.

"We don't know how he is a part of this," Fornell began, but Evelyn cut him off without thought.

"What if Marks isn't a part of it all though? What if it's just smoke?" Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest with a deep frown upon her face. She looked between Fornell's narrowed eyes look and Gibbs's arched brow.

"What are you thinking, Evelyn?" Gibbs asked.

"Marks was frozen. He was killed then he was frozen. What if he stumbled upon what McCall was doing? And McCall's bomb wasn't ready?" Evelyn theorized, pacing in front of the evidence board. "McCall kills Marks to keep him quiet, but he knows that Marks will be missed soon so he decides to use that to his advantage. He dumps Marks body, and while we are busy with that crime scene-"

"McCall moves the bomb, and could be planting it while we've wasted time to gather evidence against Marks's ex," Tony gave a deep sigh. "Damn. That's not good."

"Nice to see you still stating the obvious, DiNasto," Fornell stated, mirthlessly.

Tony just gave him a look before he looked at the board. "Doesn't explain McCall's connection to Marks. Petty Officer Marks wasn't a random choice. His house is right off the main highway, you could get to several different places fast yet its still out in the country with the nearest neighbor half a mile down the road. Not to mention, a Petty Officer? He purposely chose him to keep NCIS off his trail."

"Yes, but how?" Ziva asked.

"That's what you and Tony are going to find out," Gibbs stated, with a nod in their direction. "Get to it."

Tony heaved a sigh, and gathered his gear while Ziva hesitated for a brief second. Her dark eyes cast a quick look in Evelyn's direction before she turned around and gathered her things from her desk.

* * *

Lucas stood on the edge of the sidewalk, incased in shadows and his eyes were narrowed on the figures moving in the distance. He wasn't much of a long distant assassin, he preferred up-close work. He kept close to the wall, his footsteps measured and unhurried. His chin tucked close to his chest while his hand was on his gun, ready for anything to happen. _Report and gather anything suspicious, _he replayed Fornell's word inside of his mind. He hated when the man was vague. He let his gaze sweep the rooftops without lifting his head. He spotted nothing, and let his gaze fall back to the moving shadows up ahead.

Not professionals, he gathered. But that didn't mean the danger was any less real. The puddles reflected the shimmering moon as it emerged from behind a veil of clouds. His years of experience gave him the discipline needed to take his time, to maintain an even pace.

Some days Lucas felt as if he were bait in some larger game the FBI was playing. If that was true, they were in for a rude awakening. Lucas North would not be anyone's pawn. Not again. The double row of storage, one facing the path that he walked left only a few places for someone to hide. He shielded himself from just out of sight between two units, and he pulled out his cellphone. He dialed in Fornell's number, and pressed it to his ear. "Fornell, I'm at the storage yard," he stated, not bothering with greetings.

"_Good. Stay put for now. Follow them if they leave."_

"You want me to spy?" Lucas asked, caustically.

"_Yes, I want you to keep an eye on them. See what they are up to, and if you can figure out if they have that damn bomb there," _Fornell shot back, just as scathingly. _"If its already been move, try to listen in and see if they let the target slip out. Avoid an altercation if you can. I don't want to give them a reason to be spooked, or trigger happy. Understand?"_

"That's easier said than done," Lucas hissed, quietly.

"_Then it's a good thing I got the best on the job, ain't it?" _

Lucas would strangle the man if he could. He did not _wait. _He did not like waiting, not like this. "Fine," Lucas said, his jaw clenched. "But if I think that dealing with them is the better alternative then I will."

"_Fine," _Fornell said. _"Report back to me when you get something concrete."_

"Understood."

* * *

They shifted through the records, through boxes and boxes of it. The FBI were not making this easy even though an impending threat lingered over their heads. Tony got through another box and set it off to the side when he paused for a moment to watch Ziva, carefully. Her movements were sharp and jerky and every other minute she gave a sigh. "Alright," he said, his arms crossed over his chest. "What is wrong?"

"Wrong?" Ziva parroted at him. "There is nothing wrong."

Tony narrowed his eyes. "Does it have anything to do with the look you gave Evelyn before we left?" He asked, quietly.

Ziva gave him a look.

"Come on, Ziva," Tony stated. "I'm your partner. If something is wrong, then I should know about it."

"I don't trust her," Ziva stated, simply.

"Evelyn?" Tony looked surprised.

"Yes." Ziva stated, sharply. "She is hiding something. I do not like it one bit."

"There's more to it than that," Tony gave her a long, hard look. "I know you better than that Ziva. You've had to work with people you didn't trust before and it has never been this big of a deal." Tony noticed more than people gave him credit for. "Is it really because of your lack of trust for her? Or is it because Gibbs does trust her?" Ziva's lips pursed into a fine line, and she glowered up at him. Tony's eyebrows shot upward. "Is it that, isn't it? Gibbs trusts her, and you don't think he should."

"It does not matter what I think, Tony," Ziva told him, frigidly. She pulled the lid off of another box and started going through the papers. Tony sighed, knowing the conversation was done. For now.

* * *

The next day, the tension skyrocketed. Every available agent was working on the search for the bomb, and the interagency cooperation was the loosest form of cooperation. The FBI agents were trying to one up the NCIS agents, and vice versa which is why Evelyn tried to avoid it all. She stuck close to Gibbs who glared at every agent who didn't bring him something useful. Evelyn flipped through the pages, and the evidence list when a deep frown appeared on her face. "Did we ever retrieve Marks's cellphone?" Evelyn looked over at Gibbs.

Gibbs raised his head. "No," he said.

"Has it been recovered yet? I mean, the killer would dump it right?" Evie asked, walking over to her desk and pulling her keyboard towards her. "With Marks's body dumped, he would have no use for it any longer."

"What are you thinking Matthews?" Gibbs asked, seeing the cogs turning in her mind.

"Marks's email address is listed on his information, but it's set up through a smart phone. Since he had a smart phone it will have GPS, if it still has battery signal," Evelyn pulled up the website and typed in the information as quickly as she could. "We might be able to get its location. If we are lucky then maybe our killer dumped it somewhere nearby."

"How long does this trace take?" Gibbs leaned over her shoulder to look at the screen.

"It varies, but usually no more than five minutes," Evelyn informed him, a smile creeping across her face at the possibility of a break in the case. "Should…uh, should we tell Fornell about this?"

"Fornell can worry about Fornell," Gibbs waved off. The computer pinged and a map popped up on the screen. "That the address?"

"Looks like," Evie said.

Gibbs rubbed his chin in thought. It was off the beaten path, not somewhere someone would go without a reason. "Is there anything near there? Is business? Houses?"

"Not McGee, so just give me a moment," Evelyn said, with a wry look. Her brows were furrowed with concentration, and her lips pursed down in a frown. "There is no residential homes, though there is something in development, but it's a bit farther out of the way. However…" Evelyn sat up a little straighter. "There is a Mulligan's Storage just a quarter mile down from where the phone was dumped, and according to their website some of their units can be used as cold storage," Evelyn said, and tore her eyes from the screen towards Gibbs. "What do you think, boss?"

"I think it's worth checking out," Gibbs said, with a half smile. "Get your gear, Matthews. We head out in ten. And Matthews?"

"Yes, boss?" Evelyn asked, as she strapped on her weapon.

"Good job," he told her, with a nod. Evelyn stood there for a long moment, stunned before she smiled, a sense of pride welling up in her chest and she gathered up the last of her gear and followed him into the elevator. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could do this.

* * *

Gibbs was speeding down the highway towards the storage unit. They had collected Marks's phone at an old gas station that looked like it had been out of business for a very long time. "Anything useful on the phone?" He asked.

Evelyn's nose scrunched up as she tried to use the phone through the evidence bag, careful not to tear it. "Not that I can see. The only recent activity was the text sent to Marks's ex. As for the payment plan, it seemed it was taken straight out of Marks's account so there is not trail there to follow. We headed up to the storage facility?" She asked, her blue eyes glanced up at the road before them.

"Yes," Gibbs said. "It's a lead we can't afford to ignore."

"Hmm." Evelyn made a noise of agreement as she sat the cellphone down in the seat beside her. She looked at Gibbs out of the corner of her eye, and felt a pang inside her chest. Sometimes it was hard to look at him, to be so close to the only family she had in the world and not be close enough. Part of her wanted to spill the truth, just to let it all come out into the open. The other part of her was so scared for that to happen. Would he be happy? Would he be angry? Would he not want her? Would he accept her with open arms? Her heart pounded in her chest, and she saw Gibbs frown slightly.

"Something on your mind, Matthews?" Gibbs asked. He wasn't oblivious to the looks she had sent him, though he didn't know why she looked as if her world would come crashing down at any given second.

"I've got a lot of things on my mind," she answered, evasively.

How could someone be open with their heart on their sleeve yet so annoying evasive at the same time? Gibbs didn't know, but Evelyn made an art form out of it. "A burden shared is a burden halved," he told her.

"Oh, yeah?" Evie arched a brow. "Where did you get that? From an inspirational quote calendar?"

"My father," Gibbs stated, slightly amused. "Do you always have to be a smart ass about everything, Matthews?"

"It's usually when I'm at my best," Evelyn smiled, but it wasn't a very convincing one. "I think the next right should be the storage facility."

"I know how to drive, Matthews," Gibbs said, dryly.

"Oh, you do? Forgive me, I thought there was more driving than having a lead foot," she said, with a pointed look at the speedometer and the little arrow that showed it was far over the speed limit. Gibbs only reply was to turn so sharply that Evelyn almost smacked her head asking the window, and pulled up the long dirt road at neck breaking speeds. Evelyn placed a hand on the dashboard, and shot Gibbs a dirty look. Gibbs just smiled pleasantly before he pulled the car to a halt in poorly made parking lot. A large billboard that had been faded with the years had 'Mulligan's Storage Facility' with a cheesy cartoon character below the words.

Evelyn got out of the car, and eyed the surrounding woods with more than a little unease. It was not so far from the road, but it was far enough away that it was out of sight. "The fence is wide open, anyone could drive up in here. No security cameras and there is no one in the office station, unless they are in the back," she gestured over to the building that was little more than a shack. "This is very sketchy, if you ask me," Evelyn noted, looking towards Gibbs who looked just as unnerved as she did. "I don't see any guards, do you?"

"Nope," Gibbs said, and strode towards the building. He glanced inside, but saw no worker. It was empty. "Lack of security, lack of personnel…perfect place to hiding something."

"Like a body," Evelyn said, frowning.

"Like a bomb," Gibbs added, a dark look flashed across his face.

"We need to call for back up…" Evelyn's voice trailed off when she saw a man come around the corner. The man halted at the sight of them before he turned back around, running away. "Hey!"

Gibbs had his sidearm out in an instant and was sprinting with Evelyn right on his heels. Eveln's heart hammered in her chest as they raced through maze of storage units after the man. They came around a corner when they came to face a storage unit that had the door wide open. Evelyn slid a halt beside Gibbs, and looked at him. Gibbs nodded towards the unit, and Evelyn held up her gun. She walked towards the door before standing off to the side, her gun half raised as Gibbs made his way through the door. She went in after him, and the first thing that hit her was that is was ice cold in there.

Gibbs elbow the light switch and the entire room came to life. The walls were metal and covered in frost. It was so cold that Evelyn could see her breath, and she looked at Gibbs. "This where they held Marks?" She asked, her eyes wide.

"Not just Marks. Some thing has been moved from here and recently," Gibbs noted, darkly. "Something big."

"The bomb…?" Evelyn trailed off, when she saw something move out of the corner of her eye. She twisted to face the door, and panic flashed across her face. "Boss!" Evelyn shouted.

Gibbs whirled around to see the door being shut. He rushed towards the steel door, but it was too late, the door swung shut with a thunderous slam. Gibbs slammed into the door, but the lock from the outside had already been sealed. "Damnit!" Gibbs snapped, he let his fist fly against the metal.

Evelyn stared in horror, tethered to the spot and her heart stopped inside her chest. "Oh, God! Oh, God!" She felt the words tumbled out of her mouth as the realization that they were trapped came crashing down upon her. Her blue eyes flickered around the room, the walls suddenly too close together and the air felt stripped out of her very lungs. "We're trapped, aren't we? We're trapped?"

"Matthews," Gibbs reached out, and grabbed her by the arm. He had forgotten that she was claustrophobic, and he could see the blood drain out of her face. "Evelyn, take deep breath! Deep breaths," he told her, firmly. "You have to calm down. Get upset will only make it worse."

"But…but no one knows where we are, Gibbs. They know we out to check on lead, but they don't know exactly where we are," Evelyn stated, her voice trembled. She took a deep breath, her hands resting on Gibbs's arms to use him an anchor for the panic that boiled up in her chest. "There is only one way out and now it's closed? How are we supposed to get out of here?"

"No…they don't know where we are," Gibbs shook his head with a heavy sigh as he examined the door from the top to the bottom, trying to find some flaw or weakness in the design. "But they are smart. They'll figure it out."

"Yes, they will," Evie agreed, her breath escaping in a puffs of smoke. "But will they figure it out before we freeze to death?"

Gibbs said nothing, but he bowed his head for a long moment before he rose to his feet. "They'll be coming back," he announced, grimly.

"What?" Evelyn looked at him, alarmed. "Why would they do that?"

"For the body. Why else would they keep his body on ice?" Gibbs asked, scathingly. "They preserved his body for a reason. The question is what is their reason?"

Evelyn wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. Her blue eyes glanced from wall to wall and she had to swallow the lump in the back of her throat. She felt trapped, and cornered. In front of her vision the walls flashed from cold steel in grimy concrete, and the familiar sensation of panic crept up her spine. "Wh-what if they-y wante-d to pre…preserve his body to p-ut int-t-t-to the van with the b-bomb?" Evelyn asked, her teeth chattering loudly together.

Gibbs's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Bomb goes off, the remains would be found at the crime scene, people would assume he is the terrorist," Gibbs murmured, quietly.

"R-real terrorists get away," Evelyn nodded.

Gibbs clenched teeth. The cold was beginning to get to him, stabbing deep down to his bones. He cast a concerned look in Evelyn's direction and noted that all the color had fled from her face. He checked his cell phone, but there was still no signal. "You got a signal?" He asked.

"No," Evelyn winced running her hand over the bruise forming on her cheek. The cell phone in her hand didn't have any signal at all. "The metal from the unit must be blocking it or something. Shit," she cursed, and looked around wildly. "Where's the thermostat? The control box?" She demanded, angrily.

"It's an older model. They must be on the outside," Gibbs stated, with a heavy frown.

Her brow were pinched together and she wrapped her arms around her midsection in an attempt to keep warm. "How long do you think we can last in here? It's got to be below freezing."

"A couple of hours at the most," Gibbs informed her, with a grim countenance to his expression. He stared down the door, and braced himself before he rammed his shoulder into the thick metal door.

Evelyn jolted. "Whoa! Whoa! Gibbs, boss, stop! That door is made of steel. I don't think ramming the thing is going to do anything!" She stepped in front of him when he went to do it again, and she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Matthews, no one knows," Gibbs told her. "That we are in here. Nobody will think to start looking for us for at least another hour, and how many units did we go through before we got to this one? If we don't get out of here…we will freeze to death and the only way out is that door," Gibbs pointed at it with a stern glower down at her. His chest rose and fell with sharp intakes of breath and he watched Evelyn's fall before she slowly nodded her head.

"On three?" She asked.

Gibbs nodded. "One…two…three…" They two of them rammed into the door, but it didn't even so much as budge underneath their weight. "Again," Gibbs ordered, and Evelyn nodded. "One…two…three…" The sound was thunderous, but once again the door did not move.

They had rammed into the door over and over, but it stood strong. Stronger than them. Her arm ached with a burning pain that was a stark contrast to the cold that pressed in on her with the precision of a thousand knives. Evelyn slid down to the floor, her back pressed against the cold wall. Her expression one full of exhaustion as Gibbs stood staring with the full force of his glare. "Contrary to what you think…you're glare can't actually melt things," she let out a breathless little chuckle. She wiped her brow off and jerked violently. She pulled her hand back and saw ice crystals on the back of her hand. "Oh…that is not good," she said, with wide eyes.

"No. It's not," Gibbs ran a hand down his face.

* * *

Lucas carefully pulled his motorbike off the side of the road, and behind a few tree before he made his way to the edge of the fence. It was relatively easy to scale and he landed silently on his feet and he made his way behind the storage units only to press his back against the edge of one when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He drew in a slow, measured breath and slowly craned his head around the corner to see a large truck pull out with a tarp over the bed of it. _The bomb? _It most likely was, and Lucas watched it rolled away. He couldn't cause a commotion. Chances were it would only get him blown up.

Lucas pressed his back against the wall and he moved quietly as possible. The FBI agent said they were on their way and told him to proceed with caution. He crouched using anything to shield him from sight until he was right on them. He raised his gun and shot the closest one right in the back before he shoved the other into one of the storage units when he tried to draw out his gun. With a grunt, Lucas twisted his wrist and the man screamed when the bones snapped. Placing the barrel of his gun against the man's temple, Lucas pulled the trigger and jerked back when blood splattered against his face.

Lucas stumbled back, and the man hit the ground with a thud. For a moment, all Lucas could feel was the warm splatters of blood on his face and he drew in a deep shaky breath. It wasn't the killing that got to him. It was the memories, the ones that were always brimming just underneath the surface. The ones that were getting harder and harder to hide.

His foot hit something that had fallen out of one of the terrorist pocket. He frowned down at it, and knelt down. He slowly picked it up, and twisted it over. He let out a gasp when he came face to face with Evelyn's badge and ID. He cursed violently, and marched over to the only living terrorist who was inching towards his gun. He didn't grab it because Lucas brought his heel down harshly on the man's hand, and knelt down, putting as much weight as he could on the foot until he felt the bones break. "Now…you only have five minutes to live and whether those five minutes pass with ease or in the most horrific pain you have ever felt in your entire life will be decided by the answer you give me." He flashed the badge towards the man's face. "Where is she and what have you done to here?"

* * *

Evelyn's body felt heavy like she had weights holding her down. Gibbs had sat down beside her, and had his arm wrapped around her to share body warm. Both of their jackets draped over them like blankets. She felt a lump well in the back of her throat, because she felt more than a little responsible for this. It was her lead. She lead them here to die. She drew in a sharp breath, and it chilled her all the way down to her lungs. "Gibbs…are you still there?" She asked, tiredly. Her eyes were barely open and the world around her was going in and out of focus.

"Yeah…I'm right…here," Gibbs replied, back.

"Oh…" Evelyn said, dumbly. Her brain was moving at a snail's pace and everything felt muddled together. The panic, the exhaustion, the hopelessness. "Gibbs…I hate…I hate small spaces. The walls…"

"We'll be out…soon," Gibbs promised, sighing.

"That's…that's a kind lie," Evelyn breathed out.

"It's…not a lie, Matthews," Gibbs said.

A few seconds went by when neither of them said anything. The silence and the cold pressed in on both of them then Evelyn took in a deep breath. "I can't feel anything…" She said, softly. "Not even that scared…anymore. Feels almost like falling asleep…"

Gibbs shook his head, lightly. "Don't fall asleep…" he warned, softly. His arm drew her closer, and his face turned downward. He watched her head bob up and down as she struggled against passing out.

"Don't…think I can help it boss," Evie whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "Never thought I'd freeze to death…"

"You're…you're not dead yet," Gibbs told her.

Evelyn fell silent. "I'm s-so sorry, Gibbs," she suddenly said. She should have told him the truth when she had the chance. She have told him everything, she needed to tell him everything. Her heart felt heavy and broken in her chest. She drew in a breath, but it felt like swallowing broken glass.

"For what?" Gibbs asked, his brows furrowed.

"Getting you in-nto this," Evie said, a tear rolled down her cheek. She didn't feel it. She couldn't really feel anything anymore. She was barely holding on to consciousness as it was. Guilt and pain lanced through her and she felt her heart squeeze inside her chest. "Gibbs…Gibbs…there is something I need to say to you…"

"Save your strength," Gibbs urged her.

"No…no," Evie shook her head. She had to tell him. She had to tell him the truth before she never had another chance to tell him. "I have…I have to tell you. Should have…told you sooner…Gibbs, I'm your…" Whatever Evelyn said was lost because she collapsed against him out cold.

"Matthews…Matthews," Gibbs shook her lightly. "Evelyn, stay with me. Stay with me, Evelyn. Just stay with me…" Gibbs kept speaking to her though Evelyn couldn't hear it. He kept speaking until his eyes slid shut and the rest of the world faded into nothing.

* * *

Lucas slid the crowbar through the padlock and twisted with all his might. He grunted, and gritted his teeth together until the metal gave away with a loud ping. Flinging the crowbar down the ground, he ripped the lock off the door and drew out his weapon before he pulled the door open. He took in the entire unit with one swift glance, and that's when he saw the two of them tucked into a corner.

"Evelyn," Lucas breathed out, and came to kneel down beside her. Her face was pale, and her lips were blue. He shoved his gun down into his holster and reached out grabbing her. She weighed as a light as a feather and he lifted her up into his arms. He rushed her out of the freezer and into the warmth. He laid her gently down on the ground, and striped off his jacket to put beneath her head as a pillow. His finger tips then skimmed down her cheek where a tear had been frozen to her face and he frowned, deeply before his hand reached towards her neck. For several seconds, he feared the worst then he felt the thump of a heartbeat against his finger tips. He let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding in. "Good girl. You stay with me. You stay strong," he told her, gently brushing her hair out of her face before he looked back at the freezer remembering the man that was still in there.

He pulled himself to his feet, and rushed back in there. He knelt down in front of the man, Agent Gibbs, and reached out for a pulse when Gibbs hand snapped up, surprisingly swift for someone going under hypothermia. Lucas narrowed his eyes in shock and saw Gibbs's eyes peel open into tiny slits. For a moment, Lucas thought the man saw him before Gibbs's head slumped forward and the hand that held his wrist fell down into his lap. Lucas mentally cursed himself for being so caught off guard before he hauled Gibbs off the floor and out of the freezer.

He laid the man on the floor, and looked him over for a moment until he was convinced that the man would be fine. He twisted to face Evelyn and he was pleased to note that color was steadily coming back to her skin. His hand came to rest on her cheek, and he watched as Evelyn slowly cringed back. "Please…don't…" the words were almost unintelligible from her lips and so soft that he almost didn't catch them. His blue eyes looked down at her with an indecipherable look before he reached into his jacket pocket and flipped open his mobile. He dialed in Fornell's number and pressed his phone to his ear. "Tell me you are on your way and with ambulances," he said as soon as Fornell picked up.

* * *

_Evelyn was drifting in a nightmare. Hands tugged at her, hands hurt her and hands broke her. Her throat was so raw with her screams that she couldn't utter a sound anymore. It was so cold, the concrete walls surrounded her and there was no light. Only darkness. Suddenly something changed. Warmth flooded through her and she felt…arms wrapped around her. Arms that didn't hurt. Arms that held her so gently. She flinched back unprepared for the gentle stroke of her cheek, so different from the hands that hurt her. She drew breaths and she felt the warmth drift away. Her heart seized inside of her chest, and she wanted the warmth to come back._

_Seconds ticked by and she could feel the cold creeping back in. A sob caught in her throat and suddenly the warmth came back. She opened her eyes, just a sliver and remembered seeing a pair of beautiful blue eyes that stared down at her. _Evelyn gasped, her eyes snapped open and she tried to sit up swiftly. However, her limbs had over ideas as she nearly fell over. "Whoa there!" A paramedic caught her before she could tumble to the ambulance floor and helped her back onto the gurney.

"Where…where…" Evelyn tried to gather her thoughts, but it was proving a more difficult task than it should have been. "Gibbs…where is Gibbs?"

"Ma'am, I'm going to need you to calm down," the paramedic stated, his tone full of patience.

"Where is he?" Evelyn glared.

"He's going to be fine. You're both fine," the paramedic assured her, gently. "We got to you just in time. You're recovering from a moderate case of hypothermia and you're going to be a bit sluggish for a while. With some warmth and some fluids, you should be alright. Now, hold your breath," the paramedic told her, as he prepared to take out the IV. "This is going to hurt."

Evelyn hissed as he took out the IV. "Now, let's try to sit up. Nice and slow. There you go," the paramedic patted her on the back.

"How long have I been out?" Evelyn asked.

"About an hour," the paramedic said.

"Bomb…the bomb," Evelyn felt fear lashed through her.

"Matthews."

Her head shot upward and her mouth parted in surprise when she saw Gibbs standing there in front of her with a blanket draped across his shoulders. He looked tired, oh so tired. But he was alive. He was alive and Evelyn felt her relief so paramount rush through her that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. "Boss," she whispered out.

"It's over, Matthews," Gibbs told her.

"Over?" Evie gaped. "But how? How did anyone find us?"

"Marks's cell phone," another voice cut in, and Evelyn twisted to see Fornell had walked up without her noticing. "We got a signal. Not to mention, you left the GPS trace up on your computer. Wasn't that much of leap from there."

Evelyn ran her hand through her hair, her body still shivering and the paramedic adjusted the blanket around her shoulders. "What about the bomb?" She asked, confused beyond belief. "How did you find out where the bomb was?"

"Now, Agent Matthews," Fornell had a patronizing smile upon his face as he looked at her, "we are the FBI. It's our job to find out those kind of things. Though admittedly, DiNozzo did find a lead that helped us. About made his day." Fornell snorted, amused. He turned to look at Gibbs and smirked. "Well, Jethro, I wish I could say it's been a pleasure," Fornell started, but Gibbs shook his head. "But I'd be lying."

"Never stopped you before," Gibbs taunted, lightly.

Fornell chuckled, and walked away without another word. Evelyn watched him until he was out of sight, and she turned to look at Gibbs. "You alright, Matthews?" Gibbs asked.

"I…honestly don't know," Evie admitted, her mind flashing back to the seconds just before she had passed out. The sheer panic, the guilt, and so much more mounted upon her shoulders. She had almost told him the truth when she thought they were _dead_. Looking at him now, she felt so small like a coward and she looked down at her feet ashamed. How would that have been fair? What if she had him the truth only to end up dying a few minutes afterward? Her stomach twisted in violent knots. "Look, boss, there is something I need to say…"

"Agent Gibbs? Agent Matthews?" An FBI walked to them, hands clasped behind his back. "I am to escort the pair of you back to NCIS headquarters for debriefing if the paramedics give you the all clear."

Evelyn pursed her lips together, and looked between Gibbs and the FBI for a long moment before she stayed silent. _Sinning in silence isn't smart. It isn't brave…it's cowardly, _a voice rang through her head and a shudder ran through her. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly.

* * *

"Everything all squared away?" Fornell inquired.

Lucas was leaning back against the hood of his car, with his arms crossed over his chest and his blue eyes were narrowed on Fornell. "That was too close," he told the FBI agent, flatly. "You little ruse your running would have been up if either of them were conscious enough to see me."

"But they didn't," Fornell stated. "And now the bad guys are caught, and you can go back to watching Evelyn."

Lucas would have said something, but his phone rang. A delicate frown marred his features when he glanced down at the caller id, but he did not recognize the number.

"Good luck," was all Fornell said when got a look at the name on the screen. Lucas gave him a sharp look, and waited until the FBI agent was far way before he flipped open his mobile and answered. "Hello?" He asked, his voice low and quiet. His brows pinched together in surprise. "Evelyn? How did you get my number?" He asked, curiously.

* * *

Evelyn ducked her head down, a bit sheepishly with the phone cradled in her ear as she sat in her computer chair with a blanket draped over her shoulders with her knees drawn up to her chest. "I had a friend actually look it up," Evelyn admitted, with a wince. "I'm not a stalker. I swear, I just…I really just needed ask you for a favor. I know that we don't know…know each other really at all, but…" She looked over at the team, and she swallowed thickly. "But I really don't have anyone else, so I was just hoping…"

"_What kind of favor?" _Lucas asked.

"Let's…let's just I have had a helluva a day, and apparently I'm not allowed to drive home," Evelyn explained, to her embarrassment her voice held a slight tremble. "I was hoping that you…if you could, come and get me." He was silent for a long time that she feared that he had hung up on her. She looked down at her desk, and gnawed on her bottom. "If you can't I understand-"

"_I'm on my way."_

Evelyn sat there, motionless. "You mean it?" She couldn't help, but to ask. She could barely believe that he was truly going to come and get here.

"_Yes, I mean it," _he said, with a light chuckle. _"I'll see you in a few."_

"I'll be here," Evelyn felt herself smile, lightly. "Bye."

"_Bye."_

She slowly put the phone back in its place, and stared down at it with something akin to awe on her face. She glanced up at the team. They had offered to drive her home, but Evelyn declined. She just couldn't let them do that. Something in her heart tightened, and she felt panic rush through her. She did not trust them. Not completely, and Lucas…she wasn't sure what she was thinking anymore.

"You got a ride home?"

Evelyn looked up to see Abby standing in front of her desk. "Yeah," Evie nodded. "My neighbor is coming to get me."

"Your neighbor?" McGee wrinkled his nose.

"Your _hot _neighbor?" Abby's eyes twinkled mischievously. "The one with the accent, the muscles and the incredible blue eyes?"

Evelyn just gave her a flat look.

"Looks like Evelyn has other ideas on how to warm up," Tony teased, with a laugh.

Evelyn sputtered. "That is not true!" She denied, flushing.

"You two did look pretty cozy slow dancing at the bar," Abby added, with a smirk.

Evelyn narrowed, her lips twisted downward. "You two think you are so cute," she said, arms crossed over her chest.

"I think I am adorable," Tony smiled, broadly.

"I _know _I am adorable," Abby said, with a wink.

"And together you are both annoying," Ziva said, with an eyebrow raised and the faintest sly smile upon her lips.

"Ziva, how could you?" Abby asked, mock offended.

Evelyn rolled her eyes, and looked over at Gibbs. He stood back with a smile on his face as he looked over the team, and her eyes twisted to look at everyone. From McGee, to Abby, to Ziva and lastly Tony. There was laughter, and banter, which Evelyn realized with a jolt of shock, included her. Abby draped an arm around her shoulder while telling Tony that they were not settling for pizza this time around. Emotion choked her, clawed at viciously her heart chest and she felt like she couldn't breath. Her eyes burnt and she heard the hitch in her own breath, and she clamped her jaw down tightly.

"Excuse me," she stated, even managed to feign a smile before she quickly made her way to the bathrooms. She was painfully aware the laughter stopped, and as soon as she stumbled into the bathroom, she grasped onto the sink to keep herself up right. Her expression was shaken, and all the color had drained from her face leaving her sickly pale. Her breath came in sharp and swift gasps as a sick feel cascaded over her.

She stood there for what felt like forever. Was it a minute? Or a half an hour? Or an hour? She didn't know. It just felt like forever and she was grateful no one came to check on her. She did not want to have to come up with the explanation for the tears that flooded her vision. It felt like almost too much to bear, but somehow she drew herself back up. Her blue eyes catching that her of her reflection and for a long moment she stared straight at it. A shudder ran down her spine as she wiped away the tears carefully and she looked away before heading out the door. The squad room was unusually quiet when Evelyn came out of the bathroom. A mixture of relief and mortification swirl in the pit of her stomach as she realized everyone had already left.

At least, she told herself, that she wouldn't have to fumble through apologies or half hearted explanations right now. Nervously, she ran her hand through her hair. She glanced around as she made her way to her desk to grab her things and she had just picked it up when she heard footsteps behind her. She whirled around, clutching tightly in her grasp and gaped at Gibbs who stood there.

He stared at her intently, like he was trying to piece something together before he finally spoke. "Everything alright, Matthews?" He asked, gruffly.

"Yes. I thought everyone had gone."

"I stayed," he said, simply.

"Oh." Evelyn replied, dumbly. She forced her knuckle white grip on her coat to relax and she felt her cheeks flush red in embarrassment. "I…I was so rude, leaving that way. I'm sorry."

Gibbs snorted underneath his breath. "Rule #6, Matthews. Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness," he told her, his voice sharp and meaning to drive the rule into her head.

"I thought it was always a sign of strength," she countered, lightly. She spent several seconds twisting the fabric of her coat before she let out a sigh, before she slipped it on. "You know something…" She cast a small smile in his direction. "You're team is really…something special. You have no idea what you have. Well, maybe you do, but it's always easy to forget since they've been your team for so long."

Gibbs just sent her a confused glance.

"I'm a watcher. It's what I do. It's what I'm good at," she explained, lightly. "That's why I love to take photos, to draw or paint or write. I want to capture moments, or things that I want to hold onto. Things I'd like to feel or experience." She lifted her arms to rub her arms, and she turned her gaze from him. "I watched your team."

"And what did you see?" He asked. She looked so lost, staring out at something he couldn't see.

"You're a family. How easy that you all fall into place together so naturally. Ducky watches you all with a fondness, like a proud grandfather," she said, softly. "Abby takes her place by McGee, lean into him and settle into his side because she knew how easily she would fit there. Or how Tony steals glances at Ziva and he looks at her as if she is the only person in the entire world that matters, and Ziva has blinded herself to it because she is more than a little afraid of falling herself."

He could see it himself, now that she laid it out for him. And she was right, he realized. It was so much a part of his life now, that he didn't notice the small things as much as he used to about his team. "And what role do I play?" He asked, more than a little curious.

"You're the father," she said, her throat tightening. "You're the one that's always there. Ready to caught them if they fall, and if you can't you help pick themselves up and dust themselves off. And that's because they need that, just like you need them." She felt her jaw tremble and it had nothing to do with remaining cold in her blood. "Gibbs, about…what I was going to say before I passed…" she started when a voice from behind her interrupted her.

"Evelyn?"

Evelyn whirled around and saw Lucas standing there, hand tucked into his jeans pocket with his head tilted to the side. She felt his blue eyes rake over her and his lips were twisted downward in a light frown. Her blue eyes were wide as she stared at him for a long moment completely speechless, a feeling welling up in her chest as she stared at him.

"You came," Evelyn breathed, surprised. A strange sense overwhelmed her. A quiver of fear and elation ran down her spine leaving her breathless and she felt her entire body shift as if she had suddenly lost balance though she stood solidly on her feet.

"You called," Lucas replied, with a slight shrug of his shoulder. His answer was so simple that it made her breath catch in her throat unprepared for that type of reply.

Evelyn found a tiny smile on her lips. "I know, but you barely know me and I honestly did not…know if you would show up," she said, softly. Standing near him, she was struck with how much bigger, how much more powerful built, he was compared to her. He was dressed in complete black, from head to toe. His jacket, his shirt, his pants, even his shoes were black. His eyes were such a stark blue that gave away everything yet nothing at all as he stared at her.

"You sounded like you needed someone," Lucas said, his blue eyes were sincere and a half smile on his face as he looked down at her. She looked like she truly couldn't believe that he had shown up. "Here I am."

"Yes, you are," Evelyn said, her voice barely more than a whisper as she dropped her gaze to the floor for the briefest of moments before she looked back up at him. "Thank you," she told him, her eyes suspiciously bright.

"You don't have to thank me, Evelyn," Lucas said, quietly.

"No, I really do," Evie countered, gently.

Lucas smiled, then his gaze flickered behind her and latched onto Gibbs who silently watched the entire exchange with a narrowed eyed gaze. He had read up all about the man, per Fornell's suggestion. Not much was veiled from Agent Gibbs's gaze, and that just meant Lucas would have to be very careful. Evelyn's head snapped towards Gibbs, a sheepish expression flirted across her face. "Oh! Lucas, this is my boss, Agent Gibbs. Boss, this is Lucas," Evie introduced the pair, a blush staining her cheeks.

"A pleasure," Lucas held out his hand.

Gibbs stared at it for a long moment, his facial expression blank. Evelyn raised her eyebrows, her smile slowly fading when Gibbs finally reached out and grasped Lucas's hand tightly. Gibbs could shake the sense of unease that hit him as soon as Lucas walked into the room. The way the other man held himself instantly raked on his every last nerve. He also did not like the way the man looked at Evelyn, every protective instinct rose within him. He was startled because he hadn't realize when he started to think of Evelyn as part of _his _team, but somewhere along the line he had. Though a voice in the back of his mind told him that he knew it wasn't just that. It was something else. Something he knew, but couldn't put together.

"I'm sure," Gibbs stated, gruffly. After he squeezed Lucas's hand tightly, he noted the other man didn't even flinch underneath the grip. With a half scowl, he released Lucas's hand and turned towards Evelyn. "You were about to tell me something," he stated, wondering what she was going to tell him before Lucas walked in.

Evelyn's face fell before she sighed. "It's…nothing," she assured him, with a an attempt at a smile. "Do you have ride home? You shouldn't drive yourself."

"Ducky," Gibbs said, shortly. He didn't believe for a second it was nothing. He had seen the pained look on Evelyn's face, but he had a feeling she would say nothing while Lucas was here.

"You ready?" Lucas asked, gently.

"Yeah," Evie said, with a nod before she tossed Gibbs a smile. "Goodnight, boss."

"Night," he nodded, and watched Evelyn flock to Lucas's side. He watched the pair until the elevator door slid shut and he let out a sigh before he grabbed his jacket. "Ducky," he greeted the medical examiner who slowly walked towards his desk.

"What was that all about might I ask?" Ducky asked, nodded towards the elevator to indicate who he was talking about.

"Evelyn introduced me to friend," Gibbs said, simply.

"And?" Ducky prompted.

"I don't like him."

* * *

The car ride was on mostly made in silence. The only noise was the roll of the tires, and the faint whispers of a song coming from the speakers. Lucas looked at her, and saw her staring up at window. She was beautiful in the moonlight, and he couldn't stop his eyes from tracing her slight figure in his passenger seat. If she had known what was good for her, she would have never called him. She would have never come near him again, nor acknowledged him. If he knew what was good for him, he would have never let her in his car. Would never have helped her, or accepted Fornell's mission in the first place.

But people rarely did what was good for them. Lucas being a prime example of that.

_You, you look like an angel_

_You look like an angel, tonight_

_You, you look like an angel_

_You look like an angel, tonight_

She had the porcelain skin that just seemed to gather the light, and glow. Her blue eyes were wide as they looked up at the stars, and those were the eyes of a dreamer. Evelyn Matthews for all the walls she built up and tried to hide behind was a dreamer. What kind of dreams did she dream? He wondered inanely, his blue eyes focused on the road.

_But I know, I know that they lie_

_Saying the world spins on its side_

_Cause I'm only aligned with your eyes._

Lucas did not break the silence, and neither did she, and right now that was fine with Evelyn. She looked up at the constellations up in the star, tracing them up in the sky. After everything was said and done, the weight did not lift off of her shoulders. She couldn't help, but feel like they had no accomplished anything on this case. If not for Fornell, the bomb would not have been found and the terrorists stopped. Not to mention, that her and her father almost died. Any ounce of confidence she had gained over the last few weeks slipped right out of her and every doubt she had ever had came creeping back in. Her eyes flickered over at Lucas, and she sighed softly.

Lucas had came for her, and that left her with even more mixed emotions. He sat in the driver seat, his posture of someone self assured, and he exuded confidence. The shadows played across his sharp, handsome features and Evelyn found she couldn't help staring at him. She didn't know why she called him, or why she even thought of him, but when she turned and saw him standing in the squad room…she didn't regret that decision. Seeing him there had calmed her in some way that she couldn't explain, and she didn't feel as awkward or uncomfortable around Lucas like she had before. Instead, a new awkwardness settled on her. Her stomach fluttered, and her face seemed to be flush every time he looked her way. She let out a deep sigh, trying to shove away the emotions. As Evelyn sat quiet in the passenger seat and listened to the wind howl from the outside, Lucas's eyes flickered from her back onto the road. He had seen her hesitancy, and nervousness, when she got into the car. She was dealing with so much, she always was, but more so tonight with all that had happened. He felt the urge to reach up, and run his thumb across the furrow in her brow to ease it away.

Tipping his head to the side, Lucas suddenly spoke, "Did you know the light in Italy is different than any other place in the world?"

"What?" Evelyn twisted in her seat to face him slightly.

"The light in Italy," Lucas commented, with a half of a smile. "It's an incredible thing. The light just seemed to flow into everything: the buildings, the people, the air. There is no where in the world where the light is like that. Have you ever been to Italy?"

Evelyn blinked, her expression softening. "No…I haven't. I wanted to, and I was going to, but…" She breathed out, gently. "I just never got around to it."

"Hmm. You should," Lucas told her. "There is no better sight to see than the Tuscan sunset and the breeze…oh, it smells sweet." Evelyn felt a smile bloom on her face, listening to him describe Italy. He painted such a lovely picture of Italy, and she remembered when she was younger how her dad would buy her travel guides and show her all the places that they would go. Her, him, and her mom. The three of them. They had never gotten to see any of them. "You haven't tasted pasta until you've had it in Italy and…" He pulled the car into his drive way and cut off when he caught the sorrowful look on her face. "You are sad again."

Evelyn jumped slightly. "What? What makes you think that you've made me sad?" She asked, her blue eyes wide.

"Your eyes," Lucas said, . "You have very expressive eyes. The first time we met, you're eyes were hard. Cold. Walls surrounding you entirely. Now, they are soft. Soft, but very sad."

Evelyn drew in a shaky breath, looking down at her lap. "Don't do that, please," she begged, quietly and unbuckled her seat belt. She shoved the passenger open and stumbled out in the cold night. She wrapped her arms tightly around her, and took a couple steps from the car when she heard Lucas get out of the driver's side.

"Evelyn, wait," he stated. "I know you are upset. I understand that, please just tell me-"

"To tell you what?" She whirled around suddenly. Everything had reached a boiling point and she felt like she couldn't breath. "That I nearly died today? That I nearly got one of the most important people in my life killed?" Evelyn exploded suddenly, then her hands clapped over her mouth when she realized she had shouted. A tear rolled down her cheek before she could help it, and she sniffed while she brushed it away.

Lucas didn't look offend or taken aback by her outburst. Instead, he looked at her steadily with no judgment in his eyes. "There is a chemical trigger in the body that reacts when we see someone fall. To want to reach out, and catch them…" Lucas stated at her, his blue eyes that saw just too much of her and did not look away. "I see you, and I want to reach out. I want to catch you, Evelyn. I know that we do not know each well, but I am here. I am willing to listen…all you have to do is speak."

She had came to a stop, and he could see the tension that ran along her shoulders before they slumped. Evelyn turned back towards him, so hesitate and lost. For a long moment, she couldn't find the words. She twisted her fingers together nervously. She wanted to confide in him, and that scared her more than anything. "Do…Do you know what is like to feel nothing?" Evelyn looked up at him, a pained expression on her face as she stared at the lake. She looked so small with her knees drawn up to her chest, and the look in her eyes was something fragile. A feeling he knew all too well.

"I do," Lucas answered, honestly.

"How…how can you handle it when you suddenly feel too much?" She asked, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "When you go from nothing to too much?"

Lucas reached out, carefully and took her hand into his. The motion came to him so naturally, and he slid his finger into hers. "You take it one day at a time. Sometimes it feels like you can't breath. Like you're drowning, but you have go with the motions. You have to remember that the bad days don't take away from the good days."

Evelyn stared at him for a long moment. Her blue eyes were filled with so much as her heart thudded in her chest. She licked her lips then let out a shaky breath, and wrapped her arms around herself loosely. "Lucas," Evelyn said, softly.

"Yes?" Lucas said.

"Thank you…" Evie whispered out. "Thank you for coming for me."

"Always," Lucas replied, with a crooked smile.

* * *

**Question: Why do you think Evelyn is freaking out? Was it the near death experience or something more?**

**Stay Tuned :D**

**RRs are appreciated.**


	11. A Night To Call It A Draw

Disclaimer:

I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

Summary:

Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

Warnings:

Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, TehyaRiddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **BurnedSpy, DS2010, and tammy henson! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews: *none at this time*

"**Eyes on Fire" by Blue Foundation really inspires when it comes to the relationship between Evelyn and Lucas, and the potential destruction of it all.**

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

"**A Night to Call It a Draw"**

**SOME** nights, he could escape. He close his eyes and shut the world out. Tonight was not one of those nights. Lucas had seen Evelyn to her house, and only left when he was certain that she was alright. He stared up at his ceiling as the shadows crept in, and his chest tightened in panic. He could not hide from the memories tonight. It was so quiet that he swore he heard the faint whisper of his screams, the memories of a cloth being tied around his face and the ice cold water poured on him stealing his breath. He had come to terms with his eight years in prison, he knew that it would leave scars on him for the rest of his life. It fractured his ability to trust his team, for Connie James a woman he considered a friend had sold him out. It fractured his ability to be able to trust himself, for Arkady Kachimov had broken him mentally and physically in ways that were unimaginable.

The degradation and humiliation and loss of himself was something he had tried so hard to recover from. He thought that once he returned to MI-5, if he picked up the pieces of his life by getting back into the job and trying to go back to his ex-wife, he would be able to do so. It hadn't worked. Harry had constantly called in his loyalty into question, and Elizabeta was a mess he wouldn't even get into. He had tried to move on with Sarah Caulfield, a CIA agent, but she turned out to be a reflection of Arkady. She was a traitor to not only her country, but she had betrayed him as well. Sometimes he wished she had just killed him. It would have been easy than having everything he built up, his confidence, his faith in himself tore apart once more.

The only consolation he had was that he was finally able to confront his demons, and put Arkady to death. But facing ones demons did not mean, they would go away. He let out a shaky breath as he kicked off his blankets and walked over to his window. He pulled the curtain off to the side, and looked at the house. He saw the light on in the distance like a beacon, and it appeared that he was not the only one that was not getting any sleep tonight. Evelyn Matthews was a conundrum that he wasn't sure he could figure out without losing himself completely.

Here she was, a woman with ties to the Russian government and mob by extension, who had managed to create an entire new life for herself with none truly the wiser. If Fornell had never seen here in that office, she would still be hidden. And yet, deep his heart he wanted to trust her. Every fiber of his being wanted him to trust her, but his mind…his mind just wouldn't allow it. He could not trust her only for her to end up being betrayed again. His stared at the light in the distance with a stark look in his blue eyes, after everything he had been through the mere fact that a wisp of a woman could shake him so should be laughable.

But he wasn't laughing.

* * *

**SUNLIGHT **poured down through the trees with leaves that were just turning orange and brown, and Evelyn had a look of serenity on her face. The last few nights sleep had trouble finding her, but this morning a sense of peace feel over her. Sorrow lived and breathed within her memories, but when the sun rose that morning for some reason they didn't feel so bad. With a cup of coffee to give her a caffeine boost, she had moved her canvas out onto the porch and painted. She put everything she had felt the last few days into the painting, only stopping for a sip of coffee ever so often and a bite of Oreos. _Can't have black coffee without Oreos_, she thought with a half of a smile.

A breeze drifted up from the lake, and the water rippled. Evelyn painted, leaning forward on her stool to swept a great bold stroke of red through the shades of blue and greens. A stroke of chaos through the serenity, and she let out a long sigh as she looked at the painting through her wide framed glasses that hung on the tip of her nose. She only needed them when painting, the rest of the time she was fine without them.

"You are good." Evelyn nearly fell off her stool, and would have if two hands hadn't caught her. She startled, twisting around to find Lucas standing beside her. He had a guilty expression on his face. "I am sorry. I should have said something, I didn't mean to startle you," Lucas said, and he slowly released her when she was standing on her own two feet.

"Ah, don't apologize," Evelyn brushed a stray hair behind her ear with a half smile on her face. "It really doesn't take much to startle me these days. Half the time I'm afraid of my own shadow." _Ain't that the truth, _she thought, with a self-deprecating smile. "What are you doing here, if you don't mind my asking?" She asked, setting her paint brushed down and using a rag to wipe the excess paint from the tips of her fingers.

"I came to check on you," Lucas said, with a shrug of his shoulders and he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets in an effort not to reach out and touch her. The urge startled him, and he couldn't seem to make it go away. There was something about how she seemed to effortlessly draw the light towards her, and she seemed to glow underneath the sun.

Evelyn stared at him for a long moment, because words failed her. How long had it been since she felt that someone actually cared? "Well as you can see I'm fit as a fiddle, but thank you I appreciate it," she said, as she put the caps on her paints so they didn't dry out. "Do you want some coffee? I can go make you a cup," Evelyn offered, with a faint smile over her shoulder.

"No thank you," Lucas declined, politely. "Can't say that I care much for coffee. It's so bitter, and adding cream and sugar just doesn't seem to help."

"That's right. You British are fond of your tea, if I do recall," Evelyn smiled, teasingly. It felt nice to feel relaxed enough around another person to do so. "Or is that just a stereotype?"

"It's true _and_ a stereotype," Lucas chuckled. "I do miss my tea. The stuff you Americans call tea is appalling, no offense."

"None taken," Evelyn said, with a light laugh. She tossed a cloth over her painting it, and hiding it from view before she turned towards Lucas with a half smile. "Hello. Think I forgot to say that," Evie said, shoving her hands into her jean pockets. When she was nervous she would fidget, and she put them in her pockets in order to keep herself still.

"Hello," Lucas responded, with a genially incline of his head. "I didn't say it either. It appears we both have questionable manners."

"Oh, well, we can't have that now, can we," Evelyn said, biting back a grin. "Do you want…to stay for breakfast?" She offered, a bit nervous. "I can make a mean omelet though I warn you there is half a chance it will turn into scrambled eggs. I am not the most patient of cooks."

"Ah, thanks," Lucas rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "But I'm afraid I have some errands to attend to so I'm afraid that breakfast will have to be a rain check."

Evelyn felt a little disappointed, though there was a bit of relief as well. Perhaps she was pushing herself to be better faster than she should, but she just wanted to be normal again. To let go of all the fear and let the scars heal and live again. "A rain check then," she said, softly. "Well, I shouldn't keep you from your errands."

"Yeah," Lucas agreed. "I really need to get going."

"See you later then," Evelyn went to turn around when she found her hand encased in another. She jolted, and looked down at Lucas's hand with wide eyes. Oh, hands were a weakness of hers. His longer powerful fingers held herself so gently like she was made of porcelain and glass. She drew in a shaky breath, and raised her gaze towards Lucas who stared at her imploringly.

"Are you…are you truly alright?" Lucas inquired, earnestly.

Evelyn stared at him for a long moment before her shoulder slumped. "Yes, I'm alright," Evie said, her voice a soft whisper. "You know you didn't have to check on me."

"I wanted to," Lucas let her hand slip out of his and his hand stayed there in the air for a split second before he let it fall to his side. "I wanted to check on you and see for myself that you were alright."

A surprised flush spread across her face. "Oh…" She murmured, in slight shock. "Thank you…" she breathed out, then her flush turned darkly. "I mean, I really appreciate that and for coming to get me. Thank you."

"You are more than welcome," he said, and the way he said it was like syrup on a pancake. Warm and rich and flowing. If anyone could fall in love with a voice it would be his, and Evelyn felt a bit absurd when the thought hit her. "I best be going," he said, and the moment was broken. "I guess this is goodbye."

"Oh, I hate goodbyes. They are so final," Evelyn said, before she meant to. Though it was true, she realized. She did hate goodbyes in any form. It meant the end of something, implying that one could never truly go back. She gotten so tired of all the goodbyes she had to make. She didn't want to make anymore. She gnawed on her bottom lip, nervously because once she said those words she had no way of taking them back.

Lucas was only taken aback for a second before a slight smile split his face. "Then perhaps not goodbye then," he said, softly. "Perhaps…see you later?" He ventured carefully.

A relieved smile split Evelyn's face. "I like that," she said, with a small nod. "See you later, Lucas North."

"See you later, Evelyn Matthews."

* * *

Dreams plagued Gibbs. Good dreams. Bad ones. All revolving around Kelly and Shannon. Over and over crime scene photos ran through his mind, or he was sitting at the diner with Kelly when he had something important to remember. He never remembered, and every time he awake with a frustrated feeling as if he had just lost something all over again. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out a long sigh as his words on his paperwork swam before his eyes. He need another coffee and it was only ten in the morning. He barely suppressed a groan when Evelyn came to a halt in front of his desk, and stood there silently with her arms crossed over her chest. Gibbs counted from a hundred until he couldn't ignore her anymore and looked up at her. "Is there something you needed, Matthews?" Gibbs asked, gruffly.

"Okay, look," Evie crossed her arms over her chest. "I realize that everyone thinks you are this force of nature, and when you are like this that everyone should stay out of your way. I'm not like everyone else, and I know that all the scowly and bad attitude is because some thing is bothering you. And I'm not leaving until you tell me what is wrong."

"Matthews," Gibbs glared.

"Save the Gibbs Glare Stare for someone who will cower beneath it," Evelyn stated, dismissively. She looked up at him, her gaze unwavering and her expression one of steel. She wasn't immune to the glare, but her concern for Gibbs outweighed any fear. "Now, Gibbs, what is going on?"

Gibbs opened his mouth to tell her to get back to her desk when Tony slammed his phone into the cradle and jumped to his feet. "Finally, a case! We got a dead Marine." He nearly shouted. "Thank goodness…" he trialed off when Gibbs shot him a look. "Not that thank goodness that a Marine is dead, I have the utmost respect for Marines as you well know, boss." Tony cleared his throat. "I was just going stir crazy sitting here."

"Stir crazy?" Ziva said, dryly. "Honestly, it has only been one week since our last one."

"Gear up," Gibbs told them.

Evelyn went to go do the same when Gibbs stopped her. "Uh-uh!" Gibbs grabbed her by the shoulder with one hand, and grabbed Tony's computer chair with the other and rolled it right in front of her. "Not you Matthews. You stay here," Gibbs said, and forced her to sit down in the chair.

Evelyn blinked, her face scrunched up in bemusement. "What? Wait, why?" She asked, looking up at him with a slight glare on her face.

"Because you aren't cleared for field duty," Gibbs said, with a small smirk on his face. "In case you forgotten, it was only a week ago you were almost frozen."

"Yes, I remember that." Evelyn had honestly tried not to count down the days. It would be only two more weeks that she was on Gibbs's team, then her three months were up. She didn't think she would stick with being a field agent if she wasn't with the team. It just wouldn't be the same. "Hey! Hey," her eyes narrowed on him accusingly, "you were almost turned into a popsicle along with me! Why do you get to be on field duty and I don't?"

Gibbs braced his hands on both armrest, and leaned down so Evelyn had to lean back. "Because, Matthews, it isn't my second time being severely injured on a case within in the time span of what? Two and a half months? You continue on this rate and there won't be anything left of you by the end of the year," Gibbs said, with a pointed look.

Evelyn pursed her lips, and narrowed her eyes at him. "That isn't the reason that you are cleared for field duty," said Evelyn, stubbornly. "You probably scared everyone into signing all the paperwork. Gave them the Gibbs Glare Stare and being bossy."

Gibbs let out a slight snort of laughter and pulled back. "Sometimes it pays to be the boss." He grabbed his gear from his desk, and brushed past her. "Now quit pouting, Matthews. You are not going."

Evelyn gave him a petulant look, and watched as the team walked off the elevator without her. Tony gave her an over exaggerated wave to which she gave him a sour look. The elevator doors pinged closed, and Evelyn sat there in the computer chair in the middle of all the empty desks with a frown on her face. She fiddled her fingers together before she stood up from the chair, and said, "I do not pout." The thought slipped through her mind when she heard her phone ringing. She rushed over to her desk, and pulled the draw open. Her fingers shoved down into her purse, but as soon as her fingers slid around the cellphone, it stopped ringing.

"Of course," she rolled her eyes, and pulled her cell phone out. She flipped it open, and shocked jolted through her like lightning. The name **Lucas **stared back at her. She blinked at the name on the screen before her expression turned thoughtful. A small half smile curled on the edge of her lips, and she cocked her head to the side. She listened to the voicemail he had left, asking for her help when she got off work. A small smile spread across her face despite herself and she murmured, "Huh."

* * *

Lucas paced around his house, tidying things up. It still struck him as odd as doing something as domestic as cleaning. Sometimes it vaguely felt as if someone else were walking in his shoes, a phantom of he used to be before the betrayal, before the torture. Before all that, things like this wouldn't have given him pause or struck him as odd. Before all that, he had understood all the daily things which now left him at best confused at times. He had straightened up the pillows on his couch when there the chime of the doorbell. He stilled for a half of a second before he straightened his shoulders and walked over towards the door.

He felt vulnerable without a weapon on his though he reminded himself that there was a gun hidden in the umbrella stand (a cliché place to stick it, he knew), but most convenient. His hand fell on the cool steel handle and he drew in a breath to pull together his composure before he pulled the door open. He watched as Evelyn twisted around, a brief startled flirted across her face before her features smoothed out into a nervous smile. "Hey," Evelyn said, a trace of uncertainty on her features. "You, uh, called? Said you needed my help?"

"Uh, yes, yes," Lucas nodded. "Come in," he said, and stepped out of her way. Evelyn hesitated for a brief moment before she walked through the threshold and into the house. The house was filled with neutral grays and whites giving it a calm and collected feeling. Though the piles of boxes took away from the appealing dark wood floors and large fire place.

"Sorry that is a bit of a mess. Still settling in I suppose," Lucas gave her a half grin as he moved the boxes out of the way and put them in the closet. "My last place was a bit more communal, so it's a bit of a squeeze. If you see anything you like just steal it. Honestly I'll never know," he said, with a shrug of his shoulders and a breathlessly chuckle.

"It's alright," Evie said, with a slight smile. "I haven't got quite finished settling in myself. You certainly have a better start than I do. Besides, your timing is perfect," Evelyn told him, pulling off her gloves. It was a very cold October. Forecast even predicted snow for Halloween. "I had just got done with my paperwork and had no further desire to sit at the office."

"Here," Lucas reached out to help her with her jacket. He was careful to keep his hands upturned towards the inside of the jacket so his hands wouldn't touch her. He did not want to startle her like he had at the bar, and he pulled her free from her coat and hung it on the coat rack.

"Why thank you," Evelyn said, biting back a smile because she couldn't remind a time when a man helped her with her coat and was frankly surprised by his gestured. "Kind and has manners. Where have you been all my life?" She said, with a teasing tone in her voice.

"Looking for you," Lucas said, with not a lick of shame in the flirt.

Evelyn let out a startled light laugh then pressed her fingers to her lips embarrassed by how loud it had been. The tension that she had been dreading wasn't there. In fact, she felt a bit lighter than she had in the last few days. "You are going have try harder than that, you know?" She told him, amused.

"I must have gotten it right because I got you here," Lucas said, his hand pressed together as he looked at her with a beseeching smile. "And I could really use your help, if you could spare it."

"Well," Evelyn brushed a strand out of her face, "I do owe you for coming to get me when I was in bad shape…so what can I do for you?" She said, with a

Lucas smiled. "Help me cook dinner."

Evelyn blinked in surprise. "Dinner?" Evelyn said, slowly. "You want me to repay you back with dinner?" She let out a slight laugh still a bit confused by his requested.

"Kind of," Lucas said, running his hand across his jaw. "I figured since our timing in trying to plan a dinner or breakfast seemed always to have something come in the way, I figured perhaps spontaneity would prove more fruitful."

Spontaneity. There was a word that she hadn't used in a long time. Control had been her anchor the last year and a half. Planning had always given her a measure of comfort, though plans could always fall apart. There was little things she left to chance anymore, and it had been a long time since she had 'gone with the flow' so to speak. "Maybe…" Evelyn commented, quietly. It wasn't often that she didn't have the words, or that she felt so meek in someone's presences.

Lucas felt the sensation of disappoint begin to unfurl in his stomach the longer she stared up at him with wide, startled eyes above her crossed arms. She had curled in on herself slightly, with a little forlorn expression on her face and she looked younger and smaller all of the sudden. "Oh, heavens," Evelyn suddenly ran her fingers through her hair as the tension seeped out of her body. She flashed him a rueful smile. "I must look like I'm expecting the worst or something."

"A little bit," Lucas answered, with a rueful grin. His grin faded and he looked at her with a serious expression. "If you are uncomfortable, you don't have to-"

"No, no," Evelyn cut him off with a tiny laugh. "It's just surprising. I'm not…" She looked down at her feet for a long moment then her eyes flickered back up at him. "I don't make friends, or socialize very easy. At my job, it's easy because I can compartmentalize everything and there is a bit of distance I can put between my work and my home." She paused for a moment wondering how to put this without revealing anything to personal about herself. "In my personal life, at home, I'm…awkward at best and it's been a long time since I've wanted to change that."

"And that means?" Lucas inquired.

"It means yes," Evelyn said, tucking her hand behind her ear. If it became too much for her, home was just across the yard and she had to try at some point. "I would love to help you with dinner. It would be nice change of pace then sitting at the house with a tv dinner. I will warn you I have to keep busy when I'm in the kitchen. Things that I have to wait on end up uncooked or burnt beyond belief if I sit idly."

"Well, I'm sure we can find something to occupy yourself with," Lucas tossed her a smirk. She ducked her head, and oh, she was lovely when she blushed like that.

"I'm not sure we know each well enough for you to make such offers," Evelyn countered, a slyness edge to her smile. She watched his eyes flickered with brief surprise before his grin broaden.

"What makes you think that I was offering myself?" Lucas asked, his voice deceptively soft. His was voice was one that could encompass a room without being loud, and the way he spoke was quite compelling.

"I know an innuendo when I hear one," Evelyn told him, with a breathy chuckle. She pointedly tried not to notice how nice his jeans accentuated his backside as she followed him to the kitchen. "I have to listen to them on daily bases thanks to Tony, so I've become quite the expert on spotting them."

"Tony?" Lucas arched a brow.

"A coworker," Evelyn explained.

"A coworker who makes passes at you?" Lucas said, with the smallest frown tugging at the edge of his lips.

"He's not serious when he makes them," Evelyn stated, with a shake of her head. "It would be annoying if he were serious, but he is not." As they entered the kitchen, Evelyn took in the stainless steel and white countertops. In reminded her of a country home with a quaint charm about it that she hadn't expected. Perhaps it was because she looked at Lucas, he didn't come off to her as a country boy. "So what we do first?" Evelyn asked, recapturing his attention. "Cut up the vegetables?"

"Ah, yes. Might as well get the worst part over first," Lucas agreed, with an incline of his hand. He grabbed the pan he had gotten out, then pointed at the cutting board and knife. "I'll get the pan oiled up to sauté them if you want to do the cutting."

"It would be my pleasure," Evelyn grinned. Lucas couldn't stop the answering it with one of his own.

* * *

The airport was busy and crowded. People flooding in and out with noise so deafening it was hard for a person to hear their own thoughts. He however glided through with a lethal gracefulness as he grabbed his bags. When the attendant offered him a "Welcome to America" commented, he smiled. "Thank you," Tarasov smiled, thinly. His voice thick with Russian accent. "I'm sure I will be very…welcomed."

* * *

END OF CHAPTER!

NEXT CHAPTER: Lucas and Evelyn grow closer unaware that danger in on the horizon, while Fornell begins to question Lucas's loyalty to the mission and Ziva begins to dig deeper into Evelyn's past determined to get to the bottom of it all. Meanwhile Gibbs is determined that Evelyn is not going anywhere.

Rrs are appreciated.


	12. Punishment and Crime

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

Summary:

Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

Warnings:

Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use

This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **BurnedSpy, DS2010, hummingbird23 and LeleChaos! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews: *none at this time*

**I have made a trailer for this story, but since I used clips from other videos I won't be posting it on Youtube. So if you want to see if, just give me a PM and your email and I will email it you. :D**

* * *

"**PUNISHMENT AND CRIME"**

There was a laziness that lingered in the air that morning as the bright yellow dawn filtered in through the windows and Evelyn ran the charcoal pencil across the paper with a slight smile upon her face as her eyes flickered towards her current muse that had languidly draped himself across the couch in front of the large window. "You know when you asked for my help," Lucas said, with a slight smirk on his face as blue eyes stared at Evelyn as she worked. "This isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Well, it wasn't like I wasn't straight forward and you did agree," Evelyn reminded him, a hint of teasing in her voice. "Now can you try to sit still?"

"I'm getting hungry," Lucas told her.

"So you fidget when you are hungry?" Evelyn looked amused.

"Yes," he stated, with a mock seriousness. His eyes crinkled and his eyebrows rose upward giving away the smile that he held back. "It's one of my most shameful of vices."

"It is, is it?" Evelyn said, with a playful tone in her voice. "Well, then rest assured after I get what I need on the canvas then I will make you a breakfast fit for a king."

"Who says I'm hungry for food?" Lucas said, suggestively with an eyebrow arched and a broad smirk on his lips when Evelyn froze like a deer in front of headlights.

Her wide eyes stared at him for a long moment before they narrowed and her lips twitched as she fought a smile. "Flirt," she accused, with a slight chuckle.

"Guilty as charged," Lucas did not deny.

"Hmmm." Evelyn pulled back. She stared intensely at the unfinished drawing with a critical eye until she found that she was half way satisfied with it and could finish from memory if need be. "I've got some basics down, so you can go," she dismissed him, with a dramatic wave of her hand.

Lucas shot off the couch with a surprisingly speed towards her, and Evelyn let out a startled laugh. Her hands grabbed the sheet to pull it down over the canvas and her painting before he could see it. "No! No! You can't see it until it is finished," Evie told him, turning around and put herself between him and the canvas to protect it from him. "You can't see it until it's finished," she poked him in the chest (his very hard muscled chest, she noted) with a finger to emphasis her point.

"Fine," Lucas agreed, surrendering rather easily. "Now I believe you said something about breakfast?" He asked, with a half smile.

Evelyn opened her mouth to reply when the familiar ring of her cell phone cut off her reply. Evelyn gave a tiny groan then sent Lucas an apologetic smile, and held up a finger. "Hold that thought," she told him, with a smile that was more like a cringe. She had a feeling that she knew exactly was on the other end of the phone. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

"Matthews," Gibbs's voice floated into her. The tone was sharp and brusque.

"Boss," Evelyn drawled out, and shared a look with Lucas who inclined his head before he politely walked towards the door. Evelyn picked up her pencils with her freehand and put the back into her container before putting it up on the mantle. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We're going on a field trip to Parris Island," Gibbs said.

Evelyn paused. "But I didn't get my mom to sign my permission slip," she couldn't resist joking, but when she heard a heavy sigh from the other end, she quickly composed herself into something more professional. "So…what's the what?" She asked, her eyes flickering towards Lucas as he pulled on his leather jacket.

"We got a report of a recruit with unusually injuries," Gibbs told her, quickly. She heard him tell the others to gear up, and heard Tony make a similar crack like she had made about a permission slip. "Going to the infirmary, not the obstacle course, DiNozzo. Do you and DiNozzo trade material in your spare time, Matthews?" Gibbs questioned, and it wasn't hard to spot the exasperation in the older man's tone.

"You have to admit his best quality is his humor," Evelyn admitted, with a sheepish smile.

"Well…I suppose Tony's sense of humor is his best quality," Gibbs stated, dryly. Evelyn bit back a laugh and heard Tony's protest in the background.

Evelyn gave a breathless laugh then shook her head as she refocused her attention back on what he had said. "Unusually injuries?" She questioned, her brows furrowed. "What kind of injuries?"

"Didn't specify. Doctor only said that the injuries don't fit the Marine's explanations," Gibbs told her.

"So someone is lying," Evelyn stated, then mouthed 'sorry' at Lucas. Lucas gave a light shrug of his shoulders then mouthed back 'rain check' and Evelyn gave him a beaming smile in return. She watched him let himself out the door when a voice in her ear made her jump. "Yes, boss. I'll meet you there. Bye."

Evelyn walked over the door to peer out the stain glass window and saw Lucas's retreating form. She gave a heavy sigh, a deep feeling of regret fill up in her heart and she let her forehead thud against the glass before she ran her fingers through her hair tiredly. Her feelings for Lucas were complicated at best. It a matter of nearly two weeks from wary acquaintance to someone she could comfortably call friend, and that scared her. A _lot. _Closing her eyes, she shook her head side to side and then turned around to get ready for the day.

* * *

Parris Island was bustling with activity, especially on the obstacle course but for the infirmary the same could not be said. It was strangely quiet with the faint beeping of machines and footsteps of nurses or doctors walking along the hallways. Gibbs stood there in front of a short, bespectacled man with a chart in his hand. "So, Doctor Foster, you're the one who informed NCIS of the situation?" Gibbs questioned as the doctor wrote something down.

"Yes, I treated Marine recruit Private Andrew Burke for a broke wrist," Doctor Foster stated, with a heavy frown upon his face. However something's not quite right with his story."

"How so?" Tony inquired.

"He _claims_ he fell while climbing a rope," Dr. Foster said, with a lilt of exasperation and tiredness in his voice. He had tried to get the truth out of Private Burke's all night, but had no success. His only hope was that NCIS would get to the bottom of things swiftly.

"Sounds like a reasonable explanation," Tony mused, sharing a quick glance with Gibbs. "Why do you suspect that Private Burke's is lying?"

"When I examined him I also found multiple bruises and abrasions all over his body," Dr. Foster informed them, seriously. "The wounds were clearly made by a blunt object. I suspect he's been beaten…multiple times."

Gibbs felt a bit of surprise flash through him. "Is this the first time Private Burke's has come into the infirmary about an injury?" Gibbs inquired, frowning.

"Yes, though the broken wrist I suspect he didn't have much of choice," Dr. Foster sighed. "If it were not for the wrist, he probably wouldn't have come forward at all."

"Maybe. I guess we need to go see if Ziva and Evelyn got anything out of Private Burke's," Tony commented.

Gibbs nodded, lightly. "Thank you for your time. If you learn anything else, don't hesitate to call," Gibbs told the doctor.

"Of course," Dr. Foster said.

* * *

Evelyn stared at Private Burke for a long, silent moment. The first thing she noticed was the dark circles underneath his eyes and the defeated posture in which he held himself in the wheelchair staring down at his feet. "Private Burke," she said, softly. His head jerked upward and she saw a look in his eyes that made her stomach clench into a tight knot. "I hope you're wrist is feeling better. Do you know why we are here?" She gestured to herself and Ziva.

"No, but you look like a cops."

"I'm Mossad Liaison Officer Ziva David and this is Special Agent Evelyn Matthews with NCIS. We just need to verify that you broke your wrist while climbing," Ziva stepped forward, and her brown eyes raked over the Private taking in every inch of him for any detail or sign of deceit. "Is there anyone you can think of that confirm your story?"

"Uh, no not really. I'm a terrible climber, so I was there practicing alone," said Private Burke, though it appeared that he was struggling to look Ziva in the eye.

"Surely someone saw you going to practice climbing," Evelyn commented, lightly. "With all the people running around, no one can really be alone at a boot camp."

Private Burke licked his parched lips, running a hand down his face as beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. "Well, someone did come by the gym…" Burke hesitated, and Evelyn stood a little straighter at the flicker of fear that flashed through Burke's eyes. _What put it there? _Evelyn wondered, with a light frown and a bit a of sympathy crept into her expression.

"We just want to help you," Ziva told him, neutrally. "Just give us a name, so we can verify your story and that will be that."

Evelyn could practically see the wall come crashing down as Burke's withdrew slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't recognize who it was," he ducked his head downward to look at his feet.

"Did you hear a voice or anything that might help you identify him?" Evelyn said, not believing what he was saying for a moment. He was lying, and he was scared. "We just need someone to confirm your story then we'll be out of your hair and leave you to your recovery."

"I'm sorry, I really don't know who it was."

"Look we can do this the easy way and you telling us who you saw," Ziva's patience was wearing thin, "or I can go question everyone on the base. It's up to you how this all plays out."

Burke looked frightened. "No, please. You wouldn't."

"Then don't leave us with no choice," Evelyn told him, flatly. He looked straight into her gaze and saw her resolve to do just what Ziva had threatened and his expression crumbled.

"Alright!" He buried his face into his hands. "There was another recruit in the gym when I fell. Private Miguel Mores. Now please, leave me alone."

Ziva and Evelyn relented and left Private Burke to his recovery. As soon as the door shut behind them, Ziva looked at Evelyn. "I don't think that Private Burke is giving us the whole story. He's afraid of something. Or someone," Ziva stated, blurted.

Evelyn nodded in agreement. "He is definitely afraid. Whatever was done to him left him shaken…" Evelyn said, running her finger across her temple. "I think we need to have someone question Private Mores, see if the stories match up at all."

"I'll call McGee," Ziva pulled out her phone. "Get him on it."

Evelyn turned to see Gibbs and Tony heading there way. "Anything?" Gibbs asked, gruffly.

"He gave us someone to cooperate his story," Evelyn informed them. "A Private Miguel Mores. Ziva is contacting McGee to have him find where exactly Private Mores is at."

"And Private Burke? Your impression on him?" Gibbs questioned.

"He is scared. Someone hurt him. Someone he is afraid is going to hurt him again and I think he feels that he is helpless to stop it," Evelyn commented, quietly.

"You think it's someone in a position of power," Gibbs immediately caught what she was hinting at.

"Yes. You wouldn't feel afraid of someone who was your equal nor easily intimidated," Evelyn stated, looking up at Gibbs. "Whoever hurt Burke's…it's went beyond a beating, boss. There was a helplessness in him, like he though we couldn't help him at all. Like he has been defeated, and utterly helpless."

"You got that from one conversation?" Gibbs's brows rose.

"It wasn't that hard to see that someone has broken him," Evelyn said, a bit more defensively than she had meant to. She watched Gibbs's head tilt to the side and crossed her arms over her chest afraid he was scrutinizing her. That he would see every scar upon her soul, and an ashamed flush burnt her cheeks. "I know a lot about broken things, okay? I know that it might seem I'm reading more into this, but I have this feeling that I'm not. A _gut _feeling," she stressed, her expression very serious because she needed Gibbs to believe her.

"We need evidence before we can speculate on what happened, Evelyn. No matter how likely your theory is," Gibbs told her, with a frown. "We can't prove anything happened here other than what Burke's claims happened without it."

Evelyn let out a soft then nodded. "Where do you need me?" She asked, quietly.

"Back at NCIS," Gibbs told her.

Surprised flared through her and she looked up at him, shocked. "What?" She asked, taking a step. "Why?" She then demanded, with a sharp look.

"You're on light duty, Matthews in case you have forgotten," he told her, an eyebrow arched. "Your field duty has to be limited."

"It's been two weeks!" Evelyn argued. "At this rate my last week on this team will be spent behind a desk. It was only a little hypothermia-"

"You almost died," Gibbs pointed out.

"-and I am completely fine now," Evelyn continued onward as if she didn't hear him and placed her hands on her hips. "I can handle interrogating a few people."

"Right now, all you are going to be handling is the paperwork back at the office," Gibbs told her, his tone leaving no room for any arguments. "I already have something with the Director once I get back to headquarters, I'd rather not have another reason for her to complain, Matthews."

Evelyn paused. "What do you have to take up with the Director?" She asked, her eyebrows shot upward. At the glower that was sent her way, she held up her hands. "None of my business. Got it." She let out a deep sigh, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine. I'll go," she conceded, with her lips pursed. Then added while she gave him a glare, "But I don't like it."

"Never thought you would," Gibbs said, pulling the keys out of his pocket. "DiNozzo, take Evelyn back to headquarters," he tossed the keys to DiNozzo who caught them.

"On it, boss," DiNozzo said.

Evelyn just huffed.

* * *

McGee walked over to a man who was busy getting himself a drink of water and asked, "Private Miguel Mores?" The man paused and looked at him with a frown. McGee already knew it was Mores from the picture that Abby had given him. He flashed his badge then continued. "I'm Special Agent McGee with NCIS. You're a hard man to find," he commented, casually.

"I've been here on the obstacle course all day," Miguel stated, an indentation in his brow as he stared warily at McGee. "What is this about?"

"Did you know your buddy Private Burke is in the infirmary?" McGee asked, his head tilted to the side.

"Yeah. Heard about that. It's a shame," Mores said, true regret in his tone.

McGee looked at Miguel and noted that he sported some bruises as well. "You look a little rough and ragged yourself. What happened?" McGee asked, wondering if Burke's and Mores's got into a fight or something. _Or they were attacked by the same person, _McGee summarized.

Miguel opened and closed his mouth, doing a good impression of a fish before he finally spoke. "Uh…Burke and I were sparring during close combat training. Things got a little out of hand," he shrugged, slightly.

"Combat training? Private Burke's claims he fell while rope climbing," McGee frowned.

"Oh…yea…that's right," Mores said, swallowing thickly. He couldn't hide the fact that he was truly nervous and he clenched his hands at his side. "He went climbing after we were done. I forgot."

"I see…" McGee said, then his cellphone rang. He pulled it out and flipped it open. "Hello?" He asked, with a deep sigh.

"_Did you find Private Mores_?" Tony asked.

"Yeah. But I'm not buying a word that this guy is saying," McGee stated, honestly.

Mores sputtered, offended. "Hey, I'm standing right here!" Mores exclaimed, glowering at McGee.

McGee just gave him a look before he turned and walked away. "I think it's time we had a look around the gym," McGee stated, his voice barely more than whisper so this time he wouldn't be overheard.

"Meet you there."

* * *

Evelyn sat staring down at the desk with an intense focus as if committing ever last grain to memory and perhaps she was. A sense of foreboding swell up inside of her and she knew that this would probably be her last case with the team. _With my dad, _she added silently. The more time she spent in his company, the more the ache in her chest grew and she longed to be part of family. She could remember how it felt to sit on the couch between her mom and her dad with a bowl of popcorn in her lap as they watched the Wizard of Oz. It was a special bond, a feeling that could not be measured by words and value was priceless. Yet it seemed like there was a price. A price so high. One that Evelyn had put on it when she had created the lie because of the life she had led. Her teeth sunk into her lower lip, and she leaned back in her computer chair running her fingers through her hair.

"My dear girl, what ever is the matter?" Ducky asked, as he came around the corner. He had stopped short when he saw Evelyn staring down at her desk with silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Wrong?" Evelyn blinked.

"You're crying," Ducky pointed out.

"Crying?" Her brows furrowed, and she reached upward to touch her cheeks. To her surprise she found them slick with wet tears. "Oh…so I am," she said, sounding dazed. Slowly she pulled a tissue from the tissue box and wiped away her tears and drew in a deep breath before she looked up at Ducky. "Is there something you needed, Duck?" She asked, putting on the best smile that she could.

"No. Just heading home. With no body there is no much for me to do, I'm afraid," Ducky gave a good natured chuckle before his expression went serious once more. "Perhaps there is something I can do for you. Offer a ear to listen?" He posed the question, lightly. He saw Evelyn withdraw ever so slightly and her arms wrapped around her midsection in an unconscious effort to protect herself.

"I'm…just overly emotional, Ducky," she lied, her smile trembling ever so slightly. "It's been a long day, and a lot has happened and…you are buying any of that, are you?" She asked, when she saw Ducky staring at her with the look of a saint with all the patience in the world.

"Not for a second," Ducky gave her a sympathetic smile.

Evelyn sighed, defeated. "I just…have so much on my mind. I keep going over it and over it even though I know it's not possible," she rambled, while she pressed her hand to her forehead. "But it just doesn't want to go away."

"I might be better help if you told me what was troubling you," Ducky commented, not certain that she would open up. Evelyn had walls that she had built around her, and they were high walls indeed.

"I…" Evelyn faltered, her expression sorrowful. "I want to tell someone something. A truth, but I am afraid that if I tell him this truth then I will just end doing more harm than good."

Ducky considered what she said carefully. "The truth may not always be pleasant," Ducky told her, softly. "But it sets one free."

"But is being free worth the price of telling?" Evelyn countered, not convinced. "I don't think it is."

"Obviously part of you does," Ducky felt the need to point. "Otherwise you would not be facing such inner conflict over this truth that you feel the need to conceal. Part of you think the truth is worth the consequence that will come with it."

"I…I just can't. It's not just me that I'm worried about. Sometimes it feels that way, like all I'm doing is protecting myself in the end, but I know it's not. I don't want to harm anyone, especially not him." She thought over all the things that her father has been though and it didn't seem fair to just bring more down upon him. "Gibbs already been through so much," she murmured, underneath her breath.

"Gibbs?" Ducky blinked.

Evelyn jolted. Fear spiraled through her and she realized that was the rub with trusting people and confiding in them. You always said too much. "Nothing. It's nothing. Forgot I said anything. Please Ducky," she pleaded, her heart sinking inside of her chest while panic raced through her blood.

Ducky stared at her uncertain.

"We have evidence!" Tony shouted, announcing his presences. "Where's the boss?" He asked, when he noticed Gibbs's absence.

"He's…" Evelyn cleared her throat and turned away from Ducky to address Tony's question. "He's down with Abby. Going over some surveillance footage from the boot camp. From what I gather, Abby's not hopeful about getting anything off of it. Low quality I think she said," Evelyn spoke, rapidly. She had a knuckle white grip on the surface of her desk and felt as if she was going to be sick.

"Well, she is going to love me then," Tony said.

"Don't you mean us?" McGee walked around Tony.

"I'm more lovable than you, McGee," Tony told McGee as if he should already know this. "Anyways, we got a broken stretching stick, a bloody dumbbell, and a tooth that the tooth fairy left behind."

Evelyn eyed the box of evidence. "Love you? She is going to hate your for giving you all this work," Evelyn stated, dryly. Her fingers tapped anxiously across the wooden surface of her desk because Ducky had yet to say anything, but he also had yet to walk away.

"You're right. She will," Tony glanced down at the box then promptly shoved into McGee's arms. "You give it to her, McGoop."

McGee gave him a look. "Thanks, Tony," he said, sarcastically. He rolled his eyes as he headed towards the elevator to deliver the evidence down to Abby.

"No problem," Tony didn't even bat an eye at the insincere thanks and turned away. "Hey, Duck, what are you up to?" He asked. "Talked to any dead bodies lately?"

"Uh…no, I have not," Ducky said, with the briefest of hesitation. "It has been a rather quiet day, if I do say so myself and that is either a good thing or…"

"Or they are waiting to pop up," Tony finished.

"Well, not as I would have put it, but yes," Ducky inclined his head as he pulled his coat on. His eyes flickered towards Evelyn and for a moment she feared he would say something. He didn't though much to her surprise. "Well, I'm afraid I must be off. I promised mother that I would be home in time for tea time," Ducky stated. He bid the pair of them goodbye before he made his way to the elevator and Evelyn watched him with a knot twisting in her stomach.

"You okay, Evelyn?" Tony asked.

Evelyn looked up and saw a serious expression on his face. "Not really," she admitted, her voice a tad shaky. She rose from her desk, and let out a tiny sigh. "I just need some air."

* * *

Lucas's skin itched while the cool air whipped around him as he pumped petrol into his sedan. Absentmindedly, he traced the tattoos upon his arm through sleeve of his suit and watched the numbers on the gas pump tick away. He knew the second that Fornell pulled up, though the FBI agent did not show himself right away. Lucas supposed the wait was supposed to make him nervous, a tactic to keep him in line. All it did was annoy him endlessly.

The corners of his lips quirked upward at the disgusted look on Fornell's face as he took a sip of the petrol station's (or gas station, as the American's called it) coffee. "If you had came over when you first arrived," Lucas stated, eyebrow quirked upward, "I could warned the coffee here is shit."

"You despise coffee all together," Fornell huffed.

Lucas inclined his head as he topped off the tank and turned to face Fornell completely. Sometimes the man could be every cliché there was about the FBI such as meeting at a random place out of the way. As nice looking the gas station was with the fresh paint and new equipment it lacked in security. The cameras were fakes, and it was easy for someone who had been trained in spotting such things. "You needed something from me, Fornell?" Lucas inquired, his voice suspiciously light.

Fornell dropped the coffee cup into the trashcan before he gave Lucas a speculative glance. "You've been awfully quiet these past few weeks Lucas," Fornell stated, with a nonchalant shrug. "Lack of progress tends to make people nervous. You aren't having any second thoughts, are you Lucas?"

Lucas leveled a glare at him. "Progress has been made," Lucas stated, tersely. There was a spark of anger inside of his chest that he could barely contain and he ran his hand across his tensed jaw. "I've gained her confidence. With a little more time and work, I'm certain that she will confide in me. However, I must tread carefully. She is wary and if I push…any information she has that could take Tarasov down is gone. Is that what your people want?"

"Of course not," Fornell stated. "We just wish to be kept informed is all."

Lucas drew in a long breath. "Then you shall be informed," he stated, simply.

"See that you do." And with that Fornell made his leave and it was only until the unmarked sedan was out of sight that Lucas released a heavy sigh. He made it all sound all nice and pleasant and _easy_. It was the furthest thing from easy that he had ever had to do. Lucas found dealing with Evelyn not easy. It was easy to sit with her and _forget _himself. Forget why he was her neighbor in the first place and let himself fall into the easy friendship that has started between them. His conscious always jarred him back from that place, reminding him that everything was built upon lies. She did not know who he truly was, and if she did she would run in the other direction. And for good reason.

No, she saw John Bateman part of him, the man he had been before all the lies and deceits had eaten his life away like a cancer. She had only seen the briefest glimmer of Lucas North, the deadly part of him. The darkness that was buried deep beneath his skin where the worst of him existed.

A vibration from his breath pocket had him pull out his phone, and he saw Evelyn's name upon the screen along with a picture of her. Lucas closed his eyes and braced himself with a elbow against the side of the sedan. For a long moment, he stood there motionless before he hit the ignore button and the bitter taste of guilt in the back of his mouth.

* * *

"It would have taken a lot of force to break this," Evelyn examined the stretching stick. After her rushing out for air, she found herself aimlessly walking the halls and somehow ended up in Abby's labs. "It and the dumbbell seem like the most culpable weapons for the attack on Burke's and Mores."

"Mores?" Abby blinked.

"It's not that far of a stretch, forgive the pun," she added as she set the stretching stick back down on the table, "to suspect that Mores was a victim, too."

Abby nodded. "It would explain some things. We just need to find something that will make the pair of them talk," the goth stated seriously. "I got some fingerprints off the dumbbell. Three different sets, so you guys wrangle me up a suspect."

"Wrangle?" Evelyn chuckled.

"Ugh…my last boyfriend has a cowboy fetish," Abby informed her, with a put upon sigh. "It's kind of why he is an ex. So what about you?" The forensic tech asked.

"What about me?" Evelyn blinked.

"You know," Abby waved her hand. "Your naughty neighbor. What's up you and him?"

"Naught neigh…he isn't naughty!" Evelyn nearly shouted, her face turning a ripe red. "He is just a friend," Evelyn hissed underneath her breath. "Nothing more."

"So you say," Abby smirked. "But I have it on good authority that he came and picked you up after the ice episode."

"Ice episode? It that what we are calling it?" Evelyn drawled out, dryly.

"Nice try to change the subject, but it won't work." Abby placed her hands upon her hips. "So? Just friends?" Abby asked, eyes narrowed as if to find any trace of deceit on Evelyn's face. "That's it?"

"Yes. That's it!"

"Why are _so _boring?" Abby demanded. "You're hot! He's hot! You sound be hot _together _so I can live vicariously through you when I am boyfriendless."

"I don't want a relationship, Abby," Evelyn stated. She didn't know how to even have a proper relationship and she most certainly did not want to ruin the relationship she had with Lucas. It was nice to have someone to take to without any expectations even though every time she was around Lucas she felt as if he was holding something back. Evelyn gnawed on her lower lip then said, "So your should probably pick a better person to live vicariously through. Like Ziva."

"_Pffft_." Abby shook her head. "I gave up on that a long time ago when it became apparent that her and Tony were going to dance around each other forever."

"You mean like you and McGee?" Evelyn raised a brow.

Abby pursed her lips, and shot her a look. "Okay. Point taken. No relationship talk," the goth surrendered, gracefully. "Hiya, Gibbs!" Abby waved as Gibbs walked in.

He quirked an eyebrow.

"Don't look so impressed," Evelyn told him. "She's been saying your name every five minutes just in case you came waltzing through the door."

Abby swatted her on the arm. "Giving away my secrets," Abby playfully rolled her eyes. "Honestly. So I take you aren't here to talk about relationship either?" Gibbs gave her a look while Abby just smiled up at him innocently, and Evelyn looked away fighting the smile that threatened to bloom on her face.

"Abby," Gibbs said, shaking the Cafpow in his hand lightly.

"Alright fine." Abby immediately got back on track and her fingers danced expertly across the keyboard. "I was able to lift three partial prints from the dumbbell and there is enough of them to make a match once you have a suspect." She went to grab the Cafpow, but he kept it out of reach.

Evelyn watched the exchange with poorly hidden amusement and a bit of nostalgia as well. Watching her father with Abby made her wonder if that is what their relationship would have been like if the accident never happened, and if her mother had never witness anything. It made Evelyn keenly aware of the loss of her parents and even though Gibbs stood before her know, it was still a loss. Years that could never be replaced, she thought her eyes dropped down to the cellphone in her hand.

She had called Lucas. It had went to his voicemail, and now she felt a bit ridiculous for calling him. She had felt overwhelmed after blurting out a bit of the truth to Ducky. _How could she be so careless?_ She thought, angry at herself.

Gibbs nodded. "The blood?"

"A match for Private Burke's," Abby confirmed.

"Good," he shoved the Cafpow into her hands. "Keep up the good work, Abbs." He pressed a kiss to Abby's cheek then turned to leave when he paused to give Evelyn a look. "Matthews, with me," he ordered.

Evelyn froze, momentarily taken off guard. She watched him walk towards the door expecting her to follow and her heart lurched inside of her chest. His expression was almost always serious, but there was something about the look on his face that made her scalp prickle nervously. Evelyn got up slowly and gave Abby a half hearted wave good bye before she rushed to follow him. He was already in the elevator patiently holding the doors open until she stepped through the threshold.

The doors slid shut behind her with an ominous mechanical sound that sent a shiver down her spine and she found it very hard to stare Gibbs's right in the eye in that moment. Had he spoken to Ducky? Did he suspect something? Would she be forced to confess all in this closed up space? Evelyn swallowed thickly, and took a step away from him so she did not feel so closed in. "Something you needed, boss?" She inquired carefully. Outwardly she appeared sound and calm. Inside she felt like a house of cards about to tumble down with the faintest brush of wind.

"We are going to interview Private Burke's again," Gibbs informed her. He held a steady gaze on her and wondered how Evelyn came to hide behind such a good mask. Most days, she acted like any other agent with no worries except for the job. Others like today, she couldn't hide all the demons she held inside and she had a lot of them. Perhaps more than the rest of the team, and that concerned him. It was like watching someone on the edge of a cliff and helpless to stop them from jumping and that didn't settle right with Gibbs at all.

Evelyn let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, and nodded her head. "Confront him about his lies," Evelyn guessed quietly. "Anyone interrogating Mores?" She asked, her gaze flickering towards him.

Gibbs was silent for a moment then he nodded. "Ziva is," he finally replied.

Evelyn nodded lightly, and stood stock still to keep herself from fidgeting. She could feel that there was something more that he wanted to say, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Did Ducky say something to him? Did he suspect something? A cold sensation swept through her blood. "Something else, boss?" Her voice was barely more than whisper, and she wondered if he would confront her now. The hair on the back of her neck were raised in nervous anticipation and her stomach churned with so many emotions.

Gibbs looked at her, the crow's feet around his eyes creased and his jaw ticked, not with anger. With thoughtfulness, then he shook his head. "Unless you have something you need to say, Matthews," he stated, calmly. Evelyn fought a wince. The ball was in her court. He was allowing her a bit of trust, to give her a chance to confide in him and Evelyn opened her mouth to say several things.

But no noise escaped. Instead, she stood there voiceless for several second as words formed on her lips then finally she bowed her head. It felt like her heart was breaking inside of her chest. "Nope," she managed to croak out. "Nothing to say."

Gibbs gave a small nod.

_Coward, _the voice in the back of her mind mocked her.

* * *

Ziva approached Private Mores, her expression neutral as she took in his tense posture and wariness in his eyes. "Private Mores," she greeted him, with the smallest trace of a nod. She held up her badge and watched him cringe back.

"Crap, NCIS again."

"We found evidence in the gym that does not support you or Private Burke's story," Ziva told him, bluntly. Beating around the bush, Tony had corrected the phrase for her, would not work here.

"Private Burke and I got into a fight. I caught a few punches," Mores stated, defensively. "Everything is a little fuzzy."

"You and Private Burke are both liars. We know someone attacked you…but maybe that is what liars deserve," Ziva said, callously. Her brown eyes were narrowed and her arms crossed over her chest.

"It's not easy here! Everyone shouting at you…Pushing you around…" Mores said, distressed. His brow were furrowed and he wiped away the sweat gathering upon his brow.

Ziva let out a deep sigh. "Look, whoever hurt you is controlling you with fear. We can see you are afraid, Miguel. If you tell us why, we can help you," Ziva told him. "Some people can be like animals. I know how easily that can happened…especially in an environment like this."

Something in Mores's expression cracked as he shook his head back and forth. "You're right! But the things they did to me…not even an animal would do that!" Mores exclaimed, putting his head between his heads and bent over as his breathing became labored.

Ziva placed a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, you are safe now. What did they do to you?" She asked, carefully.

Mores took in a shaky breath before licking his parched lips. "I was in the gym…when someone hit me over the head with a dumbbell and dragged through a door and into the storage room," he said, quickly and underneath his breath.

"Do you know what they did to Private Burke's?"

"No…I don't…I don't know." Mores drew in a sharp breath. "I just heard muffled screaming and laughing. Look," he ran a hand down his face and Ziva noticed it was shaking, "are we done here? I have to report in and everything."

"Yes. Thank you, Miguel. I promise we will find whoever did this to you."

* * *

Tony stared hard at the gym door. It was locked, and he was betting that whatever was going on here had something to do with what was behind it. "We got to get that door open somehow," Tony stroke his chin with a thoughtful gaze upon the door.

"Why don't we ask someone for keys?" McGee questioned, dryly.

"Then someone will know what we are up to McGee, and if the wrong person knows what we are up to it can easily turn into a game of getting a warrant and stepping on several people's toes," Tony explained as if he were explaining something to a small child. He glanced around the gym before he spotted a dumbbell and picked it up. He tested it's weight between his hands and looked at the door with a mischievous look. "And we both know that Gibbs wouldn't want that."

"No, but…" Before McGee could even finish that thought Tony slammed the dumbbell into the door and smashed the door handle clean off. "Well, that's one way to do it," McGee stated, with an unimpressed glower at Tony.

Tony just smirked, unashamed and he pushed open the door. He felt for a light switch and turned it on. The light flickered and buzzed before it lit up the room. Tony looked around the room and frowned deeply. Bottles of alcohol littered the pool table, and a rancid odor made him wrinkle his nose in disgust. "Tony," McGee said, pointing a finger at a camera that had been set upon a tripod aimed at an old cast-iron furnace where a pair of hand cuffs hung. On the floor right beside the furnace was a bowl of dog food. "This is not good."

"You can say that again," Tony replied.

* * *

"Hello, Private Burke. I'm very Special Agent Gibbs," Gibbs flashed his badge before he took a seat beside the victim's bed. "You remember Agent Matthews?" He gestured towards Evelyn who lingered in the doorway.

"I do," Private Burke's looked over at her for a brief second before he returned his gaze towards Gibbs.

"We came to ask you a few more questions, if you don't mind?" Gibbs asked, cautiously.

Private Burke tried to shrug, and be nonchalant however there was a tension that lingered in his shoulders as he looked away from Gibbs. "I suppose I have nothing better to do," Private Burke said, softly.

"I understand that you aren't thrilled about this, but it's something that has to be done," Evelyn told him, bluntly. "Especially since we know you lied." She saw shock flash through Burke's eyes, and pressed on. "Private Mores broke down and told us everything. What do you know about a storage room in the gym?"

Burke licked his lips, feeling suddenly very parched. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's where they take all the new recruits. To 'break' us. They said we deserved it! It was horrible…" Burke stated, a catch in his voice as he fought to maintain his composure.

"And who are they?" Gibbs asked.

Burke gave them both a helpless look. "Some of the junior drill instructors. I don't know any names, I swear!" Burke shook his head. "They wore masks the whole time. The only reason I knew they were junior drill instructors were by their uniform. I am sorry I can't be more helpful."

"You were more than helpful," Evelyn assured him, gently. They bid Private Burke's goodbye and Evelyn trailed beside Gibbs down the hallway. "So where to next, boss?" She asked.

"We are going to go talk to the senior drill instructor. We need him to give us all the names of the junior instructors who have access to that storage room," Gibbs stated, then he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Is something the matter, Matthews?" He asked. He was not blind. Her dark thoughts flared through her eyes all day, and he could see the struggle that she had so desperately tried to conceal.

"No," she denied, something akin to panic flared in her eyes before she pointedly looked away from him. "Just thinking," she explained, quietly.

"About Private Burke's?" Gibbs questioned.

"What?" Evelyn came to an abrupt halt and twisted to face Gibbs with large eyes. "Why would you think that?" She asked, her brows furrowed.

"This case has gotten to you," Gibbs said.

"Which is against one of your rules," Evelyn muttered, underneath her breath.

"Matthews," Gibbs said, sharply.

Evelyn sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Fine. It has gotten a little personal, but nothing that will keep me from being professional if that is your concern," Evelyn told him, defiantly.

"My concern isn't just about the case. It's also for you, too," Gibbs stated, a bit of frustration creeping into his voice. She always fought, like an animal backed into a corner with only one option left. "We are a team, Evelyn. We have your six, and you have ours," Gibbs said, feeling the need to state it. "If you need help then ask for it."

Evelyn faltered, her face falling. Her mouth worked up and down for several moments when she could find nothing to say. "I don't want to be—"

"Didn't want to what?" Gibbs pulled back away from her so he stared down at her. It frustrated him (and a bit reluctant admiration) how close Evelyn kept her secrets, and how she managed to fool almost everyone around her that she was alright. "Didn't want to be a bother?" He figured he guessed right when she flinched back. "Did you not listen to a word I just said? We are a team, we have each others backs. You have ours, what don't you understand about the team having yours?"

"The team part?" She muttered, dryly.

"You ever stop being a smartass, Matthews?" Gibbs shot at her, darkly. He couldn't help her if she wasn't willing to put any trust in him, and that stung him more than he had expected. It left him with a sense of failure and bitter taste in his mouth. He walked around her and headed down the hallway and Evelyn felt something inside her crack.

"It unsettles me, alright?" Evelyn blurted out, angrily.

Gibbs stopped, but he did not turn around. Evelyn drew a deep breath and stared at his back, feeling as if she had been punched in the gut when he started to walk away. It was difficult for her to pinpoint which unsettled her the most. Her slip up to Ducky, or this case. "Whoever did this didn't do it because of a misunderstanding, or a conflict with Burke's or Mores. They did it because they wanted to. They wanted to hurt them, and it's…" _It's like staring into a mirror each time I see Burke's, _she finished silently inside her mind, the words too mangled by fear to be let out. To see that wild, hurt almost animalistic look in Burke's eyes as he looked around the room brought back a time when Evelyn had been the same way.

Her therapist thought it would be cathartic to talk to others who had been through what she had been through, but the group sessions left Evelyn feeling as if she had swallowed a bitter pill. These people, men and women alike had been through terrible things that Evelyn would wish on no one, and they understand what Evelyn was going through. At least, in part. A year she had endured being beaten, tortured and much worse because she had been betrayed by someone she had chosen to inexplicitly trust. Burke and Mores…they trusted the people here. The other Marines and that trusted had been betrayed.

Evelyn could feel the panic clawing at her lungs as the urge to scream became almost unbearable, but somehow she managed to choke it back as Gibbs slowly turned around. Her eyes clashed with hers, and she felt a numbness crawl across her skin. "It reminds me…of a piece of myself that I would rather forget," Evelyn admitted, for she could at least be honest in this. She lied to him about everything else, she thought with no small amount of shame. She could see the cogs turn with his eyes and she knew he always had his suspicious about her past even though he had never made them vocal. "Trust doesn't come easy for me. Not anymore. I trust you and the team…to extent, but unburdening myself to you is…" Evelyn bowed her head, and shook it slightly. "I don't want to be weak."

"I never thought you were," Gibbs stated, taken aback slightly.

"Thoughts can change," Evelyn commented, sadly. Her expression softened, and she felt the resolve in her begin to crack. Her mouth dried and she found a million words she suddenly wanted to say. Most notably, the truth. "Boss, there is something you need to know," she began, but then a man walked up to them. A stern looking man in a drill sergeant uniform.

"Special Agent Gibbs?" The man asked.

"Depends on who is asking," Gibbs countered, his eyes narrowed.

"Sergeant James Parker," the man introduced himself, his stance practically screamed military. "I heard from someone that you needed to speak to me."

As Gibbs's attention focused on the man from herself, Evelyn knew that she had just dodge a bullet, but a man like her father always had a back up. She had a feeling that his questioning was far from over, and the problem was if she could continue the conceal the truth…or if she even wanted to anymore.

"We suspect a crime has been committed," Gibbs stated, his expression carefully neutral. "We need the names of all the junior drill instructors who have access to the storage room in the gym."

"We'll see about that. What was the crime? Who was the victim?" Parker asked, callously.

Gibbs's eyes brow ticked with annoyance. "I just need those names, unless you've got something to hide?" He asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"So I'm a suspect, too?" Parker snapped.

"If you didn't know about the abuse, why don't you just give me the names?" Evelyn asked, with a deep sigh.

"This is ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? I wonder if the media will have the same opinion because let's face it," Gibbs casually threatened, "they will have a field day when they catch wind of this. Especially when they hear that you refused to cooperate."

"It's my duty to protect my men. Even if it's from you," Parker stated, firmly.

"I think the only thing you are protecting is your own neck," Gibbs told him, with a glower. His expression was severe and it had made many suspects before crack underneath it. However, Parker seemed more difficult.

"Prove it," Parker challenged.

Evelyn pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling as if she were caught watching some kind of pissing contest before she stepped between them. "Okay, look…if all you care about is protecting your men, you are not doing a very good job. One of your recruits ended up in the infirmary with a broken wrist and the other is shaken so badly that he would barely tell us what happened to him."

"He was beaten and tortured like an animal in that storage room. Your junior drill instructors are responsible for it. You say you want to protect these men, then prove it," Gibbs informed him, coolly. "Give us the names."

Parker's stern façade dropped, and he looked ill. "Oh, God," Parker said, choked with shock. "I had no idea." He ran a hand down his tired face before he released a sigh. "I'll help you any way I can. I'll give you the names. The junior instructors were also given their own recreation room and office. You might want to search their first."

* * *

The room was messy to say the least, and any good drill sergeant would grimace at the state of it. Evelyn carefully stepped in with her eyes peeled for any evidence. Tony had recon with them after McGee headed back to headquarters with the evidence they had gathered. _Alcohol, handcuffs, a bowl of dog food. A video camera with a missing tape. A poster with the words written, "They are right, I am wrong" and "They hurt me because they care." Along with hair found on the carpet, _Evelyn listed off inside her mind and her mind painted a very dark and ugly picture. Her stomach twisted into violent knots, and an anger burned inside of her heart.

"Boss," Tony said, grabbing Gibbs's attention as he pulled a piece of paper that had been taped to the window. He had a strangely grim look on his face. "It says "Initiations" and has a list of names," Tony had ran his eyes across the paper before she looked up at Gibbs and held out the paper towards him. "Private Burke and Private Mores names have been crossed out."

Evelyn knelt down in front of the table with and found a file with lists of the new recruits along with a DV cassette. Evelyn felt bile burn in the back of her throat, and she realized that the people who had done this had no worries about being caught. Otherwise they would have hidden the list and tape more carefully.

Tony picked something out from underneath the tv beside the VHS player. "This adapter allows DV cassettes to play on a standard VHS players. Didn't know people still used VHS."

"And here is a DV cassettes," she held it out to him, and she watched as Tony fitted it into the adapter. She cast a glance over at Gibbs, and wondered if he could sense her worry. As Tony slid the tape into the VCR and turned on the tv, Evelyn felt her lungs clench what little breath had been in her lungs and the images begin to flicker across the screen. It happened without warning, though she should have recognized the signs of panic crawling through her insides threatening to burst free with the day she had been having, but she didn't. She watched as the junior instructors beat the new recruits like dogs, and then a moment later she no longer sees the new recruits.

She sees herself. She sees her chained up, and instead of a drill instructor, there is Tarasov. It's his hands that hit her, that break her and she can suddenly feel every wound and scar blister up upon her skin like it was happening right this second and a hand lands upon her shoulder. It takes everything in her not to scream and she whirled around violently. Gibbs startled, not visibly by the violent and swift movement. Then he sees the horrific pain in Evelyn's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Evelyn managed to blurt out before she ran out of the room. Gibbs is only a half a second behind her, and he finds her kneeling in the hallway to the closest trash can she could find. Her entire body heaved forward as she emptied her stomach contents and she felt angry tears leaking from her eyes down her cheeks. She doesn't know when Gibbs comes to sit beside her, or when he gently holds her hair. He just sits there beside her, and strokes her hair.

"It's okay. It's okay," he repeated, in a gentle voice that he had never used with her before. No, that isn't true. He has used it before. Just not with Evelyn before. He used it with Kelly and it made her stomach clench for a whole other reason. More tears leak out, but she finally pulls back as the nightmare fades back into the back of her mind and the halls come back in focus. "You back with us, Evelyn?" Gibbs inquired, lightly.

Evelyn blinked her bleary eyes, and noticed Tony was standing there to with the evidence clenched tightly in his hand. "Yes…yes," Evelyn swallowed, thickly. "I am here. I am sorry…I don't know what came over me," she lied, and knew that she wasn't believed for a second. However, Gibbs and Tony said nothing to contradict her. "The tape…did…did you see their faces?" She asked.

"No. They are wearing masks," Tony said, disgruntled.

Evelyn groaned, pressing her face into her hands. Gibbs gently helped her to her feet. "Round up the junior instructors," Gibbs ordered, his voice firm and Tony nodded his head, giving no witty comment this time before he walked away. "Matthews, are you able to stand on your own?" Gibbs asked.

Evelyn had to think about it for a moment because her knees shook and felt as if they could buckle right out from underneath her if she was not careful. After a moment, she gave a nod. "Yeah, I think so," she admitted, wiping her tear stained cheeks clean with the sleeve of her shirt. "Boss, I…" she held back the apology and could not look him in the eye. She felt weak. Not having control of her own body and letting the past control her like this.

"You're not ready to talk about it," Gibbs told her, and she looked up at him in surprise. "You hold a lot of things inside, Matthews. It isn't that hard to see."

"No more than you," Evelyn said, a self deprecating edge to her smile. "But you are right. I am not ready to talk about and honestly I don't think I ever will be. I try…I am trying. I go to therapy, and I go to group meetings…it just doesn't seem like enough to fix me."

"Sometimes there is no fixing something, Evelyn," Gibbs said, his voice only a little more than a hushed whisper. "Sometimes you go to let go of something completely, and start over fresh in order to make things better. It's not easy. It's not simple, but often times, it is worth it."

Evelyn looked up at him, and couldn't help wonder if this is what having a father was supposed to be like. Having someone there for you when you needed them, and they were there not because they needed something from you. But because they cared. Her heart ached, and she looked away from him not knowing what else she could say.

"Come on," he said, his hand placed on her shoulder. "Let's head back to base."

"What about the junior instructors?" Evelyn blinked.

"Tony will keep them in line," Gibbs said, with a half a smile.

"But who will keep Tony in line?" Evelyn asked, a dry eyebrow arched.

"That's what we have Ziva for," he smiled, and Evelyn found herself smiling as well. The panic and fear still left her trembling, but a weight fell off of her chest. As they made their way down the hallway, Evelyn found herself coming to a great decision. She was going to tell her father the truth. She didn't know how, or when, but she was going to tell him the truth when she was completely sure that nothing from her past would follow her here. When she was sure that they would all be completely safe.

* * *

It was evening by the time the case had been settled. With finger prints of all the junior drill instructors, Abby made the matches and they were arrested and easily turned on the others involved. Evelyn had sat curled in her computer chair, slightly withdrawn from all the hustle and bustle. Her blue eyes flickered up when she noticed that Gibbs had went up the Director's office and he had stayed there for a long time. A bit of worry settled upon her brow, and she looked around with a heavy frown on her face. It was only until Tony slapped the pen down on his finished report that she managed to be drawn slightly out of her shell. "What has you looking so smug?" She inquired, carefully.

Tony had seen her break down, and she hadn't seen a visible change in the way he treated her, but she knew how easily that could change.

"I am finished with my report, and just in time with my date with _Jessica_," he said her name with a salacious flourish that got a snort of amusement out of Evelyn. "And besides, we did good today. Those junior drill instructors have learned their lesson. They won't be hazing anymore recruits."

"What about you, Tony? Did you learn anything during your time at boot camp?" Ziva questioned, with a teasing smile on the edge's of her lips. Abby who had been talking with Ziva, turned towards Tony with more than a little amusement on her face as she wondered what kind reply he would give.

"Actually, I did. I learned a very important lesson that every Marine is familiar with," Tony stated, very seriously.

"You learned that it takes brawn and brains to survive?" Abby asked, a mischievous edge to her smile.

"You learned that a true Marine needs both heart and courage?" Ziva added, with a smirk.

"You learned that the truth and honestly will always prevail?" McGee asked, throwing in his two cents.

"Those are good ones, too. But the lesson I learned today was…after a hard day of serving your country…there's no place like home," Tony sighed, heavily. "I can't wait to go home and hit the sack."

Evelyn watched them with a heavy heart and she fought to keep her expression emotionless. The last time she had been a part of something like that…it had all fallen apart and despite knowing that the team was nothing like her previous one, Evelyn couldn't help but feel a bit of fear. _It's not like you are sticking around, _a snide voice in the back of her mind stated. _You're three months are up. You going back to a desk job, and you probably will have little to do with the team until you decide to finally spill the beans on your secret. _Evelyn swallowed thickly, and picked up her coat. She couldn't stay here a moment longer. Not when it felt like her heart was breaking in her chest.

* * *

"What is it, Jethro?" Jenny looked at him, with a tired and exasperated expression. She had been nearly finished up with her work, and looked forward to going home. Somehow she knew when Gibbs had walked through her door that he was going to find someway of making her life difficult.

"Evelyn Matthews," he said.

"Is there a problem? I had the impression she was doing quite well on your team," Jenny arched a brow while she looked over her dark framed glasses at him.

"She is," Gibbs agreed. "And that's why she is going to stay on my team."

Jenny blinked, surprised. "What?"

"I want Evelyn Matthews permanently assigned to my team," Gibbs stated, emphasizing every word. "Did I stutter?"

"Jethro, this was temporary," Jenny sat forward in her chair and gave him a severe frown. "Besides you already have a full team, putting her on your team permanently would do no one any good."

"It would do Evelyn good," Gibbs argued. "She has a lot of baggage, Jen. A lot of demons that she is hiding, and she has only just begun to trust our team. If she is taking away now, she might now find that again. I can almost guarantee it."

Jenny stared at him for a long hard moment. "You care about her," she stated, softly.

"I care about all my team, Director," Gibbs stated, stiffly.

Jenny's eyebrows rose, and the corners of her mouth tilted upward. She pulled off her glasses and folded them delicately before she looked at him smugly. "If I assign her permanently to your team…does that mean you'll admit I was right about her…and you were _wrong_?" Jenny asked, with a grin.

Gibbs just gave her a deadpanned look.

* * *

Lucas had just taken a quick shower for he still could not stomach standing underneath the water for too long, flashing of being water boarded hit him still so hard that he felt like he was drowning. But he had managed to stay under long enough to get clean, and that was what counted. He made his way around the house and was locking everything up when a knock fell upon his door. He paused briefly, then tossed the towel on the back of the couch before he padded down the hallway. He briefly considered grabbing his gun until he saw a familiar silhouette through the frosted glass. A frown came to his face, and he pulled the door open to see Evelyn standing there.

She was lovely as always. Her large blue eyes that took up the majority of her face, and her soft lips made for man's darkest fantasies. The moonlight pooled over her and she almost looked like she glowing underneath it. "Evelyn," Lucas said, faintly surprised.

"Hi," Evelyn brushed a strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear slowly. She stared up at his face, and her hands trembled with the need to trace the chiseled lines of his face. He had such an imposing profile, aquiline in nature and made his gaze all that more entrancing. There was something about that called to her, and for the life of her she did not know what was. Or perhaps she turning a blind eye to it because it scared her the emotions that he evoked in her, so strong and so powerful. She never believed she could ever feel so much for another person especially so quickly, believing herself to be completely broken. There was only one word to describe the feeling inside her chest. Shaken. "I'm sorry…" she apologized, after a moment. "I shouldn't have come here. I should go…"

She tried to turn away, but his finger caught her wrist. She froze, letting out a deep breath before she turned back towards him. Lucas stared at her, his blue eyes so intently focused on her face as he tried to construe what brought her to his doorstep. "Evelyn," his thumb stroke her rapid pulse, "what is the matter?"

Evelyn's finger curled, touching his hand and she shook her head. "Everything," she stated, a crack in her voice. "I've made such a mess of everything."

Lucas did not prompt her to go into detail, but he did let her into his home shutting the door gently behind here. "Let me," he said, when she went to strip off her coat and scarf. His eyes traced the gentle curves of her body when she was freed from her coat though she did not notice. He shouldn't let his eyes linger. If he did he may not be able to tear himself away. Thankfully, Evelyn did not notice the looks he raked over her. She seemed a bit preoccupied with her thoughts instead of him in that moment. He inanely wonder what put such turmoil in her gaze. "Come on, we can sit in the lounge," he urged her gently, and she followed him without argument.

"I know it's late," she finally spoke. "And you were probably going to bed…" Her eyes swept towards him, and she finally noticed that he was in nothing, but briefs. "And I interrupted," she stated, her voice strangely strangled. He walked around his house completely unconcerned by being in nothing other than his briefs. Of course he was unconcerned, she thought wryly. He was inside _his _own house besides when a man looked like him, walking around like that was a public service. She shook her head, not even wanting to deal with her libido that somehow still existed after all she had been through. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Lucas told her, with a good natured grin. "I wasn't tired in the least bit. So tell me what brought you upon my doorstep?"

Evelyn gave a humorless chuckle. "Have…have you felt that your world is about to come crashing down? Like one wrong decision and it all will just break?" She asked him.

Lucas's smile faded. "Yes, I have," his voice slightly rough. He had felt that way. He had felt that way when the truth of his past had came out. When all the trust he had fought so hard to salvage had been burned to ashes, and he tried to reclaim his past only to have to do away with his life complete in order to survive…yes, he knew that feeling very well. He breathed in a gasp of surprise when he felt her hands gently and hesitantly touch his chest.

Evelyn knew that her life could easily burn down with the decisions she would make. Her life felt so shaky, like it was made of sand and would easily be blown away. After today, she needed something familiar and Lucas was that. He was familiar, and they seemed to have so much in common. Evelyn slowly tilted her head, staring at him as if she could discern the mysteries of the universe with his gaze alone. "Dum Spiro Spero," she said, slowly. With a will of its own, her hand raised and her finger tips brushed along the tattoo. His skin was hot and he felt as if he had been carved out of stone. Lucas drew in a sharp breath, the muscles jumping underneath her fingers and he watched her face intently. The way the lamplight spilled across her skin, it made her glow and he felt his hand tremble, aching to feel if it was as soft as it looked like. "While I live, I hope…" her voice was so soft, he almost missed it.

"You know your Latin," he mused, his voice pitched low and had a husky quality to it that sent fireworks off in her belly. His right hand lazily settled upon her hip while his left ran up her arm, his fingers skimming across her skin.

She nodded wordlessly, her fingers brushing upward towards the tattoo upon his chest. "These…these aren't professionally done," she commented, softly.

"No, they aren't," Lucas agreed, leaning closer to her. She smelled like snow, a smell that he never appreciated as attractive until now. Her brows burrowed, and he could see the cogs turning in her mind. Slowly she tilted her head back until her blue eyes met his, her gaze searching. "Prison. Russian Prison," he said, surprised that he had just admitted such a thing outloud. "Tattooing's part of the culture in there. You don't do it, you don't belong, you don't belong, you're dead. They all mean something. There's a specific iconography."

"Russian prison," Evelyn winced, sympathetically. He could be dangerous, she could feel the potential of that beneath her fingers tips and yet her heart rejected the very thought. "Those are always the worst," she murmured, softly.

Lucas's eyebrow arched. "You go to Russian prisons often?" He asked, with an attempt at a smirk. He felt her trace the tattoo on his chest, it was one he had done based off of William Blake's "Ancient of Days".

"One too many times," Evelyn said, her eyes clenching shut for a brief second holding back so much pain before she looked up at him. She had never suspected that she would find someone with so much in common with her. The good and the bad things. "How long were you in there for?" She asked, quietly. It was scary how easily she could reveal herself to him, how easily she wanted to do it.

"Eight years."

Horror lashed through her, and while the logical part of her told her that he could have done something to deserve being put in there…Evelyn knew that wasn't the case. It was a gut feeling. Evelyn stood there forming words inside her head, but none passed her lips. Her brows furrowed as she processed it all. Finally, she opened her mouth. "I'm sorry," she whispered out.

He blinked, looking at her. There was a glint of surprise in his eyes, before he gave her his usual lazy smirk. "Don't be. You're not the one who did it," he stated, as if it were nothing at all. But Evelyn knew better. He was unnerved by how much he had just shared. How stark he had been with emotions. How open he let himself be because he just didn't do that with anyone. And Evelyn could understand that better than anyone else.

"I'm sorry," she repeated again.

His smirk dropped, and his eyes became very serious. He sat up a little straight as if considering pulling away from her and he stared straight into her eyes. "Evelyn," he said her name., his voice was as rich as velvet yet as soft as the wind. It trembled through Evie with all the power of a shout. She leaned towards him, cupping his face between her hands and their noses touched. All they had in common, both trying to salvage a broken future for themselves.

His hands reached up and wrapped around her wrists gently. His eyes closed for a long moment, and his jaw trembled. "You shouldn't," his voice was quite, but firm. He made the protest, and yet he couldn't find it in him to stop her from sealing her lips over his. It was so heartbreaking gentle, his mouth moved over her in a slow unhurried rhythm so that they savored each brush of their lips. Her fingers ran up his neck and into his hair to pull him a little bit closer.

He felt like he waited a lifetime to feel his mouth on hers. He gave her the opportunity to pull back, that if she regretted it to immediately back away. He would never force this upon her, he knew her insecurity and reservations. She didn't pulled away, and her eyelashes fluttered shut, her mouth softening against his. She relaxed into him with a soft warmth, and he pulled her tightly against him. When she looked at him, she saw the man he should have been. He could never trust another person, yet here he was giving his last small piece of humanity to Evelyn for safe keeping.

She felt his hands tremble on the small of her back, and she could feel him restrain himself from devouring her mouth with his own. "We have to stop," he murmured, against her lips. Lucas wasn't a saint. No one would ever mistaken him for one, but he knew if another minute went by like this, he would lose all control. Evelyn was vulnerable, and he would not take advantage of her. He knew she would never accuse him of such, but he wouldn't feel right afterwards. Evelyn deserved better than that.

Evelyn pulled back slowly, her eyes still closed and her chest rising and falling with small gasps. She opened her eyes, the liquid blue alit with so much emotions. "I don't regret that," she told him, softly. "I thought I might, but I don't."

"Good," Lucas leaned downward so his forehead brushed with herself, and his fingers came up to gently stroke the soft skin of her neck. "Because I don't either."

"Can…can I stay here?" Evelyn said. "I just…I just really don't want to be alone."

"You don't have to be," Lucas told her, and he drew her into his arms. He settled up the couch, and Evelyn curled into his side like she belonged there. His fingers gently stroked through her hair, and soon she fell fast asleep. Not long after, Lucas followed her.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Hope you all enjoyed! This chapter was inspired by "I Should Go" by Levi Kries, particularly Evelyn and Lucas's scene. If anyone out there could make a Richard Armitage and Rebecca Herbst video to that song, I would be forever grateful. No videos I do ever seem to come out right.**

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	13. A Fragile Peace

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98 and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, **Calista Moon, DS2010, and tammy henson! **Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews: *none at this time*

**This chapter is inspired by 'After The Storm' by Mumford and Sons. Also have to give props to the NCIS Kindle game which has helped me with case storylines, I didn't want to use ones that people have most likely seen on tv. I wanted to give you all something a little bit new, if you don't have the game.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

"**A Fragile Peace"**

Lucas had been awake for several minutes now, staring into the inky darkness of room as he tried to process the weight settled upon his chest. At some point, Evelyn had shifted to where her back rested against his chest with her cheek pressed against his beating heart and nestled between his legs. It was a strange out of body sensation that wafted over him. After all the things that happened to him in Russia on Arkaray's orders and executed by Darshavin, he had been left with wounds that seemed to never be able to here. In intimate moments, he had to be in control. He could not stand for anyone to be on top or him, or have control over him. He could never surrender himself in such a way, to trust it so inexplicitly in another person. And yet, wasn't this a form of surrender?

To sit here with her in his arms, resting on his chest as if she belonged there. He drew in a breath that was more shaky than he would every admit, and felt something loose inside of his chest. A deep, shaken feeling and yet there was a sense of rightness settled over him, too. He liked holding Evelyn as if it were the most natural feeling in the world, and he realized in that moment just how deep he had fallen as his fingers stroked through the silky strands of her hair. Lucas's only consolation was that Evelyn felt this pull, too. Even now her scent of strawberries and oranges perfumed the air, entirely feminine and entirely Evelyn. It was intoxicating. Evelyn sighed, twisting slightly and her hand shifted to rest underneath her cheek trapped between his chest and her head.

Evelyn trembled, and he reached past her shoulders to pull the thin blanket up around her neck. She soon settled against him once more, her breathing evening out and Lucas leaned his head back against the armrest to get comfortable even though sleep would not come to him so easily this time. He did find it though, after his breath slowed to match the same pace as Evelyn. He fell asleep.

* * *

"Grab your gear!" Gibbs barked out.

Tony's head jerked up from his computer screen. "What happened, Boss?" He asked, with a slightly frown as he pulled open his drawer to retrieve his gun. Adjacent from him, Ziva did the same while McGee rose from his chair and slipped on his jacket. It was strange that Evelyn didn't follow suit, mostly because Gibbs hadn't gotten the chance to inform her of her permanent position on the team.

"Ensign Steven Bradley was found dead in his bunk this morning," Gibbs said, with a deep frown. His eyes flickered around the room, but Evelyn had yet to show up. He had hoped to cross her path and give her back her gun and her badge before a case popped up.

"Do we know the cause of death?" McGee inquired.

"Not yet," Gibbs said, curtly. He headed towards the elevator as his team scrambled behind him. They all squeezed into the elevator, and the doors slid closed.

"Body on a boat. I hope you packed your sea legs, McGoop!" Tony tossed McGee a smirk, only to be reprimanded by a smack to the head from Gibbs.

McGee and Ziva shared a smirk.

* * *

Daylight spilt through the windows, and woke Evelyn from her comfortable sleep. She gave a small content yawn, and stretched out ever so slightly. She was warm, and comfortable and she couldn't remember a time that she had slept so well. She shifted furthered into the solid, warmth with a breathy sigh and then the warmth started to rumble with silent chuckles. Her eyes snapped open, her heart jolting inside her chest as she registered the hands and arms wrapped around. Her first instinct was to bolt, to panic and her body tensed preparing to do just that. "Shhh, it's just me," Lucas spoke, his voice soft with lethargy.

She was silent and tense, reminding him of a caged animal debating whether or not to bite. Lucas had been awake for several minutes, sitting there staring up at the patterns in the ceiling with heavy thoughts dancing around his mind. He waited patiently. It took a few minutes before she allowed herself to relax back into his arms, resting her head upon his stomach. Evelyn had to trust him at her own pace, and he had to patient with her. There was no pushing her.

Her breaths evened out, and her heart beat steadied. How long had it been since she had let another human being this close to her while she slept? Not for a very long time. It was strange, she thought as her panic ebbed away. It was a nice kind of strange, she decided. Last nights events came flooding back and she barely held back a groan of embarrassment. Slowly she shifted until she was looking straight up at Lucas who gently brushed her hair out of her face. "Good morning," she said, slightly breathless.

He smiled, and it was beautiful. "Good morning, Evelyn," he said, rolling her name off his tongue in way that made her shudder. The good kind. A sleepy smile came to her lips, and she entwined her hand with one of his. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than yesterday," she murmured. Lucas said nothing, he stared at her with those piercing eyes to see if she really meant that or was putting on a face. A breathy chuckle escaped her, and she found herself leaning forward to rest her cheek against his chest. She could hear his steady heartbeat against her ear, and she let her eyes drift closed listening to the beat. "I'm sorry…" she felt like she needed to say that a flush upon her cheeks. "For last night. Coming over here, and practically mauling you."

Lucas hummed, holding her as if she were something fragile like porcelain or china. As she laid there warm and content, her mind drifted lazily. She could not remember a time being so content with someone so close. "You didn't do anything I hadn't thought about doing for the past two weeks," Lucas informed her, a sheepish edge to his smile.

Evelyn frowned. "Really?"

Lucas nodded. "I just knew that you weren't ready for that," he sighed, lightly as he rolled his shoulders.

Evie stared at him, and wondered how this man saw her more clearly in the last two weeks than others who had known her for years. "Thank you," she said, and she meant it. She always threw herself into things too fast, not often stopping to think about what the fallout might be. Last night was no different. While she truly did care for Lucas and felt that it could easily develop into something more…she knew she wasn't ready for full intimacy yet. She didn't know if she could handle that. "I don't know what I was thinking. I just…needed a safe place, and this is the only place I really could think of."

"Why did you need a safe place?" He inquired, a light frown on his face.

"I was running," she said, with a self-deprecating grin. "I was trying to outrun the memories, but then I looked over my shoulder to see how far I away I have gotten and bam! It starts all over again." Her face scrunched up and she just shook her head. "If that makes any sense at all. Maybe it doesn't, maybe I'm trying to make sense of it and try to find a reason so I don't feel as bad."

Lucas gave her a sympathetic half smile. "Everyone is running from something," Lucas told her, with a roll of his shoulders as he propped his arms underneath his head. "At least you know what you are running from. Some people don't know what they are running from, or what they are running to. They just run endlessly."

"Sounds awful."

There was a beat before both of them dissolved into chuckles and the tension that had been hanging in the air dissolved. Evelyn tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she slowly sat up, pulling further away from him as her chuckles quieted. "I suppose it is," Evelyn commented, playing with the frayed ends of the blanket. "Most of the time I can get by. I put everything into my paintings, all my frustration, all my anger, everything."

"You're paintings I saw were rather pleasant," Lucas said, reaching out to tug a strand of her hair rather playfully. Those silky strands against his skin wasn't one he would forget any time soon.

"Those are my portraits and my landscapes. For my more fouler moods I end up doing abstract paintings," Evelyn confided with a small smile. "Or paintings of the oceans."

"Paintings of the ocean?" Lucas tugged on her hair silently asking why she painted the ocean.

"I like the ocean. My father used to take my mom and me sailing," Evelyn recalled with a grin. It slipped off her face as soon as she registered what she said. Her eyes fell from his onto the simple pattern of the blanket. "That was before…everything."

Everything was a bit broad, but Lucas did not ask her to elaborate. From what he knew, if her background could be believed, Evelyn had been orphaned by an automobile accident when she was eight years old. The grief on her face was genuine so something tragic obviously had happened. "I use a punching bag to vent out my frustration when meditation or yoga don't work," Lucas said, hoping to lighten the darkness in her eyes.

It immediately worked. The shadow slinked back to the depth of her mind, and she looked at him with a playful grin on her face. "Meditation and yoga? My, my, my, such hidden depths I did not know you had, Mr. North," she poked his side, with a laugh.

Lucas grinned, crookedly. "You have no idea."

* * *

"Hmmm…" Ziva scanned the crime scene with her dark eyes. "A young and otherwise healthy sailor dies in sleep. I smell foul prey," she announced, with conviction.

Tony made a noise. "Foul play, Ziva," he corrected, after a moment. He walked further into the room, and walked up to the jacket draped over the chair. "Found the victim's wallet," he dug into one of pockets and withdrew it. He flipped through it, noting nothing out of the ordinary until he looked closer at the credit card. There was a white substance on it. "There's a white substance on this card, I'm going to tag it. Have a bagging?" He looked at McGee who pulled one out of the kit and handed it to him.

"White substance? Cocaine?" Ziva theorized.

"Let's not start tossing around theories until we can get that back to Abby," Gibbs stated, because if one let speculation become fact before they were proven sometimes could alter how well an investigation went.

Ziva nodded, simply. She picked up the cell phone left upon the desk, and started scrolling through it to see if she could find anything interesting there. They would definitely bag it just in case Abby could find something that they could not. At the top of his contacts immediately set up a red flag in Ziva's mind. A Mr. Pillz, she was betting it was an alias of some sort. There were other that caught her eye to. "Did Bradley's medical find any record of medications of any sort?" Ziva inquired, outloud.

"No, why?" McGee asked.

"One of the numbers here is labeled 'Medication'," Ziva stated, and looked over at Gibbs.

Gibbs inclined his head. Seems like there might be merit to Ziva's theory after all, not that he had any doubt that there wasn't any. He just like to have his ducks in a row so he knew where to go. "Any other that seem suspicious?" Gibbs asked.

"Mr. Pillz, Party Starters, and Warehouse Boys," Ziva listed them off. "The rest seem like normal contacts."

"Warehouse Boys," Tony mused, with a trace of a smirk. "Sounds like a country band. McGee, make sure to bag up the Ensign's vomit, will you? Abby will appreciate it, I'm sure."

McGee gave him a dark look. "Ensign Bradley could have been poisoned," McGee stated, as he pulled on a pair of gloves. He first got a salvia sample before going through the disgusting process of collect some of the vomit. He didn't understand why they could take the whole cot for evidence so he didn't have to do this. "Maybe he didn't indeed on dying, but took something that was botched."

"Reasonable," Ziva agreed. It wouldn't be the first time she had seen someone killed by a bad batch of cocaine on purpose. "A mirror…white powder there too."

"Bag it," Gibbs said, simply.

"I guess now we have to wait for Ducky to examine the body," McGee commented, happy to strip the clothes now the gross part was over.

"Ziva…go talk to the victim's roommate," Gibbs ordered, feeling that there was no time to waste. "McGee, get the evidence back to Abby and start searching through his contacts. Find these people so we can question them. Tony and I will stay here and wait on Ducky."

* * *

The next day Evelyn headed into the office, but she couldn't bring herself to inside. Her insides went cold, and she felt the panic began to tighten in her chest. Instead, she sat on a bench with her arms wrapped around staring out at nothing. Most days, Evelyn got by just fine. She could blend in with the crowd. Just another one of the huddled masses yearning to get by unnoticed. The problem is, that Evelyn was no longer like any of them. Not anymore. She got betrayed, then she got brutally tortured in unimaginable ways, and somewhere along the line couple of wires got crossed in her head. Touching meant pain. People were enemies, everyone was capable of being an enemy. Capable of betraying her. Some days all she felt like were broken shards of glass scattered across the floor waiting to be swept up and thrown away. She had come a long way, she had to admit. The panic attacks were still there, the dark suspicious roiled inside her mind when a person passed her by still bothered her but slowly she was starting to mend. She was so tired of running, tired of living in the darkness. She wanted to be able to walk down a street without being afraid, to be able to sit out in the sunlight and enjoy it without having to always be on her guard.

"Penny for your thoughts, Matthews?" A shadow fell over her, and she found a coffee cup thrust into her face. Evelyn blinked and tilted her head back to stare up at Gibbs with a bemused furrow in her brow.

"Boss?" She asked. Gibbs sighed, and shoved the coffee cup into her hands. She had to grasp it quickly or end up with spilling all over herself. Gibbs took a seat beside her on the bench, and silently sipped on his own coffee.

"You have something on your mind you need to talk about?" Gibbs prompted again.

Evelyn studied him for a moment. "And here I thought I was good at keeping face," Evie commented, with a wry grin in place. She brought the coffee cup up to her lips hesitantly because she abhorred black coffee. Unless she had Oreos, then she could dunk them. She jolted in surprise at the sweet flavor that rolled on her tongue, and arched a brow. "Hot chocolate?" She inquired, an amused tilt to her lips.

"Didn't know how you liked your coffee," Gibbs shrugged, unconcerned.

"Hmm." She made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat as she twisted the cup idly between her fingers. Her mother had liked hot chocolate, particularly with whip cream and cinnamon sprinkled on top. Her mother face would be a blur in her head if she hadn't had a photograph to remind her. It just felt strange that she could almost forget her mother's face, but she could remember how she took her hot chocolate with perfect clarity. "There a reason that you are out here, boss," Evelyn asked, her voice held no accusation. It was just a simply question.

"Probably the same thing as you," Gibbs commented, with a slight sigh. "To think."

"I don't think I'm doing a very good job of that," Evelyn tossed back, rolling her neck that was tight with tension. "Thinking that is. I've been sitting here for…whew, a half an hour," she checked the time on her cellphone, "and I still haven't been able to sort them all out."

"Heavy thoughts tend to be a heavy burden," Gibbs stated, knowingly. His thought of late had been more heavy and he couldn't shake them wherever he went.

Evelyn heard what went unsaid. _Talk to me. Confide in me. _Gibbs wanted her to open up, and she wanted nothing more to let it all out. However, she held her tongue. Elle hadn't reported back which left her stomach in all kinds of knots, and she hadn't given Evelyn the information on Pedro Henedraz's next of kin or old organization ties. She had to methodical. She did not want her past, Kelly's or hers at Cathedrals come back to haunt her. She would not risk the people she cared about getting pulled into so crossfire. Evelyn had seen people get caught up in the crossfire. Hell, she had been caught in the crossfire before.

She did not relish the thought of being pulled through that all again. "Some days more than others," Evelyn let out a small regretful smile. "I guess I just them get to me today. I know I shouldn't, but…"

"You have days where you can't stop them," Gibbs summarized, with a thoughtful frown.

"Yes," Evie nodded. "Yeah…" she trailed off, her shoulders slumped and she cast a glance out at all the people moving about their lives. "Have you ever wished you had done something differently? Been smarter or stronger? Made a different choice?"

"All the time," Gibbs stated, seriously. "You are always going to have those thoughts. The 'what ifs'. Everyone has them, but even if the what ifs come and go you have to always remember one thing. We are where we need to be whether by accident or choice and try to do the best with what we have. Instead of wishing for what we want." Gibbs studied Evelyn's desolate expression, and watched her nod her head. However, he wasn't certain that she actually heard anything he had just said. Whatever battle was going on inside of her head was not one she wanted to talk about just yet, and Gibbs found that he didn't like that. Hadn't he told her that she could trust them? He let out a long sigh before he rose up off of the bench and made to walk away when he remembered his reason for searching her out. "Oh," Gibbs said, as an afterthought. He pulled a gun from his hip and _her badge _setting them on the bench between them before he got up. "You're going to need those."

"What? _What_?" Evelyn stared blankly at the badge and gun for a long moment before she turned an uncomprehending stare at Gibbs who smirked.

"You're good, Matthews," Gibbs said, with a light shrug. "You don't waste good." He then turned and walked away leaving Evelyn there gob smacked. She blinked once and twice before a slow smile stretched across her face. She picked up her gun and badge before she scrambled after him.

"Hey, boss! Wait up!"

* * *

Lucas padded across the bare floor, after taking a swig from his bottle of water. His back and chest gleamed with a sweat after his long session with the punching bag. He walked over to the front door, and picked up the pile of mail sitting upon the floor that had been unceremoniously shoved through the mail slot. His eyes may have drifted across the printed letters, but he didn't actually see them. Instead, they floated in front of his eyes as his thoughts drifted. Lucas felt a churning in his stomach, his memory replaying the moment that Evelyn woke up in his arms. A spark of fear that dwindled in a weariness, like a caged animal that had been taught to be afraid. It was a look Lucas knew well, and now that he looked at the situation…he saw a parallel to his life right after prison. The only difference was this time that Lucas was in Sarah's position in a way, and Evelyn in his.

Lucas didn't want to think of himself anything like Sarah. A liar. A betrayer. However, there were times he fell into those roles and sometimes, he did it gladly. This was not one of those times. All he could think about was when Evelyn thought no one was looking was how beautiful and sad she looked. Like a piece of art that had walked right off the portrait, she would sit lost in her memories and frozen by time. He knew what it was like to so desperately wish for a normal connection to a person, he had been there and he almost given into Evelyn's silent plea when she kissed him so desperately. But that would not have done any of them any favors.

He knew she wouldn't have accused him of taking advantage of her last night, but he would have felt that way. His cellphone went off in his jean pocket, and he pulled it out. "North," he stated, brusquely while reaching up to rub his eyes.

"_We have a problem."_

Lucas barely refrained from rolling his eyes. "Hello to you, too, Fornell," Lucas stated, with a bite of sarcasm in his voice.

"_Tarasov is in the States_," Fornell didn't bother with ceremony, and got straight to the point. His voice was laced with grimness as his words pierced through Lucas with the keenness of a sharp blade.

"What? When?" Lucas demanded.

"_He's been here for a week from what we know. He used an alias, but by the time our agents found that out, he has fled into the underbelly of DC. We don't know where he is," _Fornell stated, clearly aggravated. Lucas understood why. Tarasov was a more than just a threat, he was a ticking time bomb. Men like him didn't stay quiet for long, and when they showed themselves…a lot of people would lose.

"I'm on my way in."

* * *

According the victim's roommate, the Ensign had terrible mood swings and couldn't sleep. He would constantly break out in cold sweats, and the roommate said he even suspected drug abuse. He pointed them in the direction of the supply warehouse, but Gibbs told them to hold off. He wanted to determine the cause of death before they went busting down doors just yet. He would say however that Ziva's drug theory seemed even more concrete. "I agree. Ziva seems quite on point," Evelyn stated, as Gibbs updated her on that cause. "It wouldn't be the first time a soldier fallen under the pressure and resorted to such methods to keep "better" themselves, no matter what the cost. Or perhaps he fell in with the wrong."

"Perhaps. But we won't be able to tell until we figure out who supplied him with the heroin. However, right now I'm more concerned with what killed him," Gibbs stated, firmly. They had to figure out if the Ensign's death was planned or intentional, and find who was responsible for that first before they launched a drug investigation. He held the autopsy door open, and let Evelyn pass him.

"Jethro! Evelyn, how lovely to see you," Ducky stated, as he hovered over the dead body. The skin on the chest and stomach had been carefully pulled back as Ducky examined the muscles. Palmer who had been weighing a liver, stopped long enough to wave at them with a bright smile.

Evelyn returned the wave while Gibbs just gave a quick nod. Ducky pulled off his plastic gloves with a snap and rolled the tension out of his shoulders. "I was just about to send for you," he pointed at Gibbs, with a half smile on his face.

"Cause of death?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes, I have one. If you look you will notice there's bruising on the stomach, but these bruises not from an impact or blunt force. No, the hemorrhaging appears to be from an internal injury. So, naturally I took a closer look at the abdominal tissue." Ducky moved the light to shine down on the abdominal muscles more clearly. "When compared to healthy abdominal muscles, it's clear that these injuries are unusually."

"How so?" Palmer asked, then when Gibbs sent him a look, he sheepishly bowed his head. "Right. Your question."

"The muscles were damaged during a seizure, and quite a serious one," Ducky continued on, gesturing to the several tears on the muscles. "His pupils were the size of pinpoints, and if you notice his lips are blue, that is a tell-tale sign of asphyxiation. All of this had me narrow the cause of death down to a fatal drug overdose."

"Drug that killed him?" Gibbs questioned.

"Abby is working on it," Ducky stated.

"She better be done," Gibbs said, before he turned on heel and stalked off. Evelyn watched him, an eyebrow arched in amusement before she looked at Ducky with a hesitant smile before she turned and followed him out the door. She hadn't forgotten her slip up to him, but neither he nor Gibbs had confronted her yet. She did not if that was reassuring, or more worrying. She followed silently after Gibbs, her gaze heavy on his back and she couldn't help, but wonder why he decided to put her on his team permanently.

"Boss…can I ask a question?" Evelyn asked. Her brow had furrowed, and her lips were twisted into a thoughtful frown. "You already have a capable team, and while I understand that you think I'm good agent…why put me on your team? Why not someone else's?"

Gibbs came to a halt right outside of Abby's door. "Would you have wanted to be on another person's team?" He asked, quietly.

"No, but…"

"I think you answered your own question, Matthews," Gibbs told her. "Trust hasn't come easy for you. You had a helluva time trusting us, and still are. You wouldn't have been able to start over again, especially when you wouldn't want to."

Evelyn's mouth worked up and down, but she couldn't find anything to say. She watched Gibbs turn away from her and head into Abby's lab. With a shake of her head, she followed him there. Heavy metal music blared from the speakers, and Abby had her face bowed as she examined something on her computer monitor with a frown.

Gibbs walked up to her, and tapped her shoulder. She startled, then sent Gibbs a mock scowl when she saw him. Reaching over, the goth turned down her music. "Gibbs, you'll never believe this! I found methadone in our victim's saliva."

Evelyn blinked. "Methadone? I thought methadone was used to help heroin addicts treat withdrawal symptoms to help break the addiction?" Gibbs and Abby turned towards her. Evelyn shrugged her shoulders. "I had a friend who went through addiction."

"You are correct, Evie and that is what makes it so odd," Abby stated, with a wide grin. "Because along with the methadone…I found heroin."

"Heroin?" Gibbs arched a brow. "Usually one has to stop taking heroin in order to get clean," he stated, dryly.

"Yeppers! The powder found on the mirror and credit card was definitely low-grade heroin. Ensign Bradley was sniffing heroin _and _taking methadone. He must have been trying to treat his heroin addiction with the methadone. Now where is my Caf-POW?" Abby crossed her arms over her chest, and looked at Gibbs expectantly.

Gibbs shot her a look, his lips twitched. "I'll bring you a Caf-POW! after we are done investigating the warehouse, Abs," he told her,

Abby pouted a little bit, then she immediately perked up. "Well, then what are you standing around here for? Go! The sooner you get done, the sooner I get my Caf-POW!"

Evelyn laughed.

* * *

The sheer size of the warehouse was startling. Two stores high, and at least a football field long. The walls were made of grey bricks and metal with large windows that filtered in the afternoon light. Evelyn stared at the place with wide eyes, and thought they were going to need more than just the five of them to get this done.

"Whoa," Tony stepped to her side. "This place is bigger than I thought. Makes me wish we had stopped for coffee before we decide to delve into all this."

"Does the warrant cover _all _of this?" Evelyn asked, a tiny bit worried.

"Our search warrant covers the entire warehouse,"

"I'm tired already," Tony bemoaned.

"So am I," Ziva stated, and when Tony looked at her in surprise, she sent him a look. "Of _your_ complaining."

"Ouch. That hurts all my manly feelings, Ziva…every last one," Tony retorted, his voice dry and not amused. Evelyn decided that Ziva and Tony were like a tennis match, and they never stopped. Perhaps there was something to Abby's theory that they had the hots for each other after all, Evelyn thought with a look of pure amusement on her face. She quickly schooled her features when Gibbs stepped in, least she end up getting her head slapped.

"Knock it off, both of you," Gibbs stated, sharply. "We have work that needs to be done, and now."

Evelyn snorted, walking across the catwalk towards the office. She was hardly surprised to find the door was locked, however she was surprised to see a large stack of cash sitting on the other side of the window. And when she meant a large stack of cash, she meant stacks of a hundred dollar bills that could easily total up to several thousands dollars. "Uh, boss," Evelyn said, to get his attention. When he turned towards her, she knocked her knuckle against the glass window to gesture to the giant stack of hundred dollar bills, easily adding up to several thousand dollars lying on the desk in the locked room. "That's a lot of money to leave lying around," she pointed out, then she narrowed her eyes on the clipboard sitting beside. "There is a log for the warehouse, but I can't read it from this angle."

"We need to get the door open," Gibbs said.

"Crowbar? Anyone?" Tony pulled a red crowbar out of his bag, and held it up with a broad grin.

Gibbs arched an eyebrow. "What are you waiting for, DiNozzo? A good job?" He asked, impatiently.

"No, but that would be nice," Tony retorted, then paled as if he realized that he had just talked back to Gibbs. Clearing his throat, he pointed to the door as he walked cautiously around Gibbs. "I'll just get that for you, boss," Tony said, demurely. He walked over the door and with some elbow grease, he managed to pry the door off with a loud pop. "No need for thanks."

"Were you really expecting any?" Ziva gave him a look.

"Why am I nice to you?" Tony asked, more to himself than her.

McGee just shook his head at the pair. He slipped past both of them, and picked up the shipment charts. "The sealed boxes down below in the warehouse came from PharmaCon and were signed for by a civilian worker named Cameron Pratt. It looks like Pratt has altered the shipping info. There were originally six crates, but the number been scribbled over with a three," McGee informed them all, flipping up the page up to read the rest of the information. "It says here, those three crates were already picked up by Doctor Spencer MacDonald last week. But, as we can see, the three 'extra' boxes are still here."

Evelyn looked at the sealed boxes below with a speculative look. She then held out her hand expectantly towards Tony, and Tony just gave her a confused look. "Hand it over," Evelyn gestured to the crowbar.

Tony narrowed his eyes. "You just want an excuse to break something," he accused, playfully. He handed over the crowbar and Evie gifted him with a large smile as she held up the crowbar dantly between her fingers.

"And aren't you relieved it's the shipping containers, and not your head," Evelyn said, with a sassy smirk before she sauntered off down the stairs while Ziva smirked and McGee sniggered behind his hand. Gibbs shook his head, and Tony just looked at her with a tiny pout. The pout lifted off his face when he realized that the money had yet to be put in evidence, and he gleefully made his way towards it.

"While you all go check that out," Tony grabbed all the money in his two hands with a look of reverence on his face, "I will gladly secure this evidence."

"Make sure it goes all in the evidence, DiNozzo," Gibbs tossed a look over his shoulder, a brief flicker of amusement in his eyes.

"Of course," Tony said, with an unconcerned grin. "I was going to count it first, boss," he explained, as he sat down and started shifting through the big bills. Gibbs gave a light snort, before he looked down at Ziva and Evelyn who worked on getting the crate open. Evelyn had climbed on top of one of the seal boxes while she wedged the crowbar tightly into the slim crack, and with her foot, she pushed down with all her weight. The sound of wood cracking as the seal slowly gave away, and Evelyn gave a low grunt as her muscles slowly burned with exertion. Ziva stood off to the side, patiently.

Finally, Evelyn jerked forward as the lid gave away, and she let out a deep breath. Wiping the sweat off of her brow, she and Ziva lifted the lid out of the way to reveal a crate full of prescriptions and pills.

"We just hit the mother toad," Ziva confirmed.

"Mother load," Evelyn said, quietly.

"What?" Ziva blinked.

"It's mother load, not…never mind," she shook her head, and looked at Gibbs who started over towards them. "It's a whole shipment of medication. Including," Evelyn lifted on of the bags and held up a large bottle to show off, "methadone pills."

"I think we need to have word with Pratt," Gibbs said, his eyes narrowed with suspicious.

"We should stay out of sight and wait for Pratt to show up for work. When he arrives, we can observe his movements before confronting him," Ziva suggested, with a predatory kind of smile on her face that made her look eerily serene at the same time.

"Spoken like true assassin," Tony told her, with a smile. Instead of taking offence, Ziva took it as a compliment and puffed up with pride ever so slightly.

Gibbs frowned, considering the plan. "Fine. We'll stake him out, but we need to get moving then. Ziva, Tony, I need you two to make sure he doesn't get too out of hand if this goes south," Gibbs ordered, and he looked towards McGee and Evelyn. "I want you two to head back to base, and see what you can dig up on Doctor Spencer MacDonald and Cameron Pratt from there."

"On it, boss," Tony hastily dropped the money into the evidence bag and stood up. McGee stated gathering the NCIS bags to clear out the area while Evelyn just inclined her head, keeping vocally silent. In all honesty while she knew Ziva would have Gibbs's back, she just wished she could be here instead. It was just…she didn't want anything to happen to him. She didn't want lose him when she had just only gotten him back, and Evelyn hoped that Elle would report back soon with her findings so she knew what to do next.

* * *

"Why would he make such a move now?" Lucas asked the question out loud as he paced in the dimly lit office while Fornell sat behind the desk, with a file in his hand. "He had protection in Russia. To cross over into America when there is a target on his back is most unlike him, unless…"

"Unless he has a plan," Fornell finished. "That was my thought as well. We tracked his movements until he disappeared off the grid, and he made a few phone calls. One phone call interested up because NCIS is currently investigating the name…Dr. Spencer MacDonald."

"Who is he?" Lucas asked.

"That's what you are going to find out."

* * *

"Our search is getting little to nothing." Evelyn stated, her face twisted in aggravation. Cameron Pratt seemed like an average guy for the most part, even a few tickets in his history. He had a relatively normal childhood, and faded in obscurity as an adult. No red flags there. Dr. Spencer MacDonald, however, seemed to pop up out of nowhere. His childhood was picture perfect in every sense of the word, which wouldn't have troubled her if she hadn't known what a cover story looked like. And a poorly put together one at that.

Whoever made this background, it was almost as if they wanted suspicion placed on the doctor. Evelyn frowned, deeply. She highlighted a few things that she found suspicious before she set the file down on Tony's desk, a fresh set of eyes may reveal something that she couldn't see right off the bat. McGee was running them through the system to see if they could pick up something from there when the elevator dinged and the rest of the team came out. Evelyn perked up, "You're back? So soon?"

"Disappointed?" Gibbs arched a brow.

"No. Just surprised," Evie said. "I thought stakeouts took longer. Where is Cameron Pratt?" She ventured, her head tilted to the side.

"In custody," Tony sighed, heavily. "He tried to run when we went to talk to him. Ziva took him down before he could even reach the exit."

"I jumped on him," Ziva stated, proudly.

"You jumped him?" Evie asked, eyes wide.

"The stairs would have taken longer," Ziva shrugged.

"Oh, wow. By jump him you meant," Evelyn got an mental picture, and she let out a breathless laugh. "Damn, I wish I would have seen that."

"It was quite a sight," Tony said, with a grin.

"Thank you," Ziva said, with a smirk.

"Are you going to interrogate him?" Evelyn assumed, looking over Gibbs.

"No. You are," Gibbs crossed his arms over his chest.

Evelyn jolted as if shocked. "What? Me? Interrogate?" She asked, her face twisted. The word interrogate had negative inclinations inside her mind because she had seen the darker side of interrogation. She knew that NCIS did not go to such methods, but it did not erase the images inside her mind. Not to mention that would mean she would be inside of that tiny room.

"Unless you can't handle it?" Gibbs commented, his tone suspiciously light.

Evelyn leveled a stare at him. There was an unmistakable challenge in the air, and Evelyn felt apprehension crawl across her skin. She stood there, stiff as a statue before she found herself nodding her head. "Just let me get ready," she stated, sounding more confident than she felt.

* * *

The Director heard about the case, and came down to interrogation to see the progress of it because she had gotten a call from more than one concerned party. She stepped in the viewing room, only to falter when she saw Jethro in there instead of the interrogation room. She blinked and looked through the one way mirror and her eyebrows shot upward. "You're letting her handle an interrogation?" Jenny said, with a look of shock. Her greenish eyes stared at Gibbs who just stared steadily into the other room through the two way mirror.

"She needs to," Gibbs defended his choice, lightly. "It's all part of being an investigator, and if she can't handle a simple interrogation then…" He gave a slight shrug of his shoulder and he took a much needed sip of his coffee.

"I understand that," Jenny stated, flatly. "It is just…you have a lot of faith in her, don't you?" The NCIS Director stated, clasping her hands behind her. "You always trust your agents equally, but you always play to their strengths. In the field, you put Ziva and Tony together because you know they handle themselves better out there. McGee you usually keep with you, because while he is a capable agent…his strength lies in computers and finding information that way than in combat. In Evelyn, you trust her with everything. You trust her to have her back, you trust her to go on her own…it is just surprising is all. Given your issues with such things."

Gibbs gave her a look.

"What?" Jenny blinked innocently. "It's true."

Gibbs sighed. "I admit that perhaps I trust her more than I should, faster than I should. Even Ziva brought it, but I have a gut feeling that my trust is not misplaced," he stated, simply.

* * *

"Can you tell me why I was arrested?" Cameron Pratt demanded, heatedly. His face twisted with displeasure as Evelyn entered the room. Evelyn didn't answer right away, instead she shut the door quietly behind her before she took the seat right across from him.

Evelyn studied him for a long moment, before she gave him a tight smile. "Can you explain these photos?" She pulled the photos out of file, because nothing made a suspect sweat more than thinking they had something on them.

"I work here. I sign-off on shipments and send them for delivery around the base," he stated, caustically.

His tone had little effect on her, and she merely gave him a deadpanned look as she folded her hands on the metal table in front of her. "We heard there has been illegal activity here at the warehouse. Judging by how you were hovering around these boxes, I'd say you were…up to something," Evelyn raised her eyebrows, and stared at him unblinkingly. She let her tone imply that she knew all about what exactly that something was.

"I noticed that one of the seal was broken, that's all!" Cameron defended himself, but Evelyn noted that his forehead had broken out with perspiration. "Something shady has been going on, but it wasn't me!"

"Really? Because this box," she tapped to indicate the one she was talking back on the picture, "was full before you showed for work. Then somewhere between you showing up for work and getting haul in here…poof! Some of the pills have mysteriously vanished."

"What do you mean? How would you know that?" Cameron stated, realizing that his activities were not as secret as he thought. "What is going on?" He choked out.

"What is going on?" Evelyn parroted back at him. "Well, what is going on _is_ we have proof that you've been stealing medical shipments. Now, how about doing the reasonable thing and take responsibility by admitting the truth?" She would allow him a chance to confess before she delved into any aggression tactics because she did not believe that aggression would really work here.

"You're bluffing. You've got nothing."

Evelyn smiled thinly, while flipping the folder open just wide enough to retrieve the copy of the manifest. She smacked it down right in front of him, and leaned in. "We've got a clipboard with manifest you falsified and a stack of money, what kind of picture do you think that paints?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"You took my money?!" Cameron nearly shouted.

"It's called a search warrant. Besides the money shouldn't be your first concern. Your first concern should have been about Steven Bradley," Evelyn stated, her eyes narrowing as she watched the blood drain out of Cameron's face. "He died last night. An overdose on the methadone that you sold him."

"Aw, no!" Genuine regret flashed across Cameron's face. "I told him that was dangerous stuff. He just said he had bad withdrawals from to quit," he shook his head side to side, his face scrunched as he looked overwhelmed.

"So you admit to selling Bradley the drugs?" Evelyn asked, at least happy that they would be able to charge him with at least that and that would keep him locked up long enough to get further evidence to find out if it had been intentional or not. "I wouldn't be surprised if the prosecutor tacks on involuntary manslaughter to your list of charges."

"It's not my fault he was so stupid! He said he was trying to quit! I was trying to help him!" Cameron defended himself, but he couldn't quite wipe the guilt written upon his face as clear as day.

"Ah, juries love that one. Blaming the victim. Why not take some responsibility for yourself, and tell what your part in all of this is?" Evelyn propped her elbows on the metal table, and entwined her fingers peering over them straight at Cameron with a sarcastic smile. "Especially the part about the other three boxes of medication that you stole? That's a lot of drugs. Who else you were _helping_?" She demanded, her voice losing all semblance of niceties.

Cameron drew back at the cold expression. "Uh…well…I…um…I want a lawyer now! That guy, Kibble, or Gibble or…something said I could have one and I want one."

Evelyn hoped Gibbs knew the strength it took not to laugh at the mispronunciation of his name. "That's a good idea," Evelyn inclined her head, giving him a smile that borderline on patronizing. She carefully picked up the pictures, and copy of the manifest before she neatly slid them into the folder. "Where you're going, you're going to need a good one." And without a glance back, she walked out of the room with her head held high until she shut the door. Using the closed door to support her, she tugged at her collar in attempt to make breathing more easier. Her pulse was pounding in her chest, and apprehension crept across her skin that she could just shake off. She hated that room. Why did it have to be so small? Logically, she knew it was intimidation tactic to use on suspects, a psychological subterfuge.

But having been on the end of said psychological trick, Evelyn tried to avoid the interrogation room as much as possible though the fact that she lasted in there for ten minutes without a breakdown should be consider an achievement of sorts. _When this case is over I will enjoy a bottle of honey wine, _she told herself and stood up quickly when she heard another door open. Looking down the hallway, she saw Gibbs making his way towards her. "He asked for his lawyer though you already knew that because obviously you were in the viewing room watching the entire thing and…"

"Matthews," Gibbs said.

"Yes, boss?" Evelyn said, a timber of nervousness in her voice.

Gibbs stared at her for a long moment. "Good job," he said, simply and then turned walking towards the elevator. Evelyn stood there stunned before her brain jolted her legs forward, and she managed to slip right into the elevator doors right before they closed.

"Good job? But…" Evelyn looked puzzled. "He asked for his lawyer."

"He was always going to ask for a lawyer," Gibbs pressed the button for the squad room and let out a sigh. "But you kept him talking long enough that now we know this isn't simply some kind of inside job. This scheme stems out of that military base, and now we figure out why and how."

* * *

Back in the squadroom, the others were working on getting the case wrapped up. However, something was bothering McGee that he just couldn't put out of his mind. "Wouldn't he have noticed the three crates missing?" McGee asked, outloud. "Dr. Spencer MacDonald. If he truly ordered six crates, then got only three…it would stand to reason that he reported it."

"No such report, McGee," Tony said. "Evelyn and I went through Dr. McD's and Pratt's past for the last several months. He never reported any missing shipments, or at least none that were document."

"Well, that's suspicious," Ziva stated, with a huff. "Anything else on their records, Tony? Backgrounds pull up anything?" She walked over to him, and started to shuffle through the papers with him.

"Cameron Pratt is pretty average as people go. A speeding ticket last August, nothing really beyond that. Dr. MacDonald is squeaky clean. Too clean," Tony said, with a frown. Everyone had something in their background. It could be some small mistake, or a big one, but it didn't look like they suddenly popped up out of thin air. "Evelyn didn't like it. She said they were too spotless."

"She is right," Ziva nodded, looking over the papers with a carefully eye. She could understand why Evelyn felt the background was so unsettling. It was as if Cameron Pratt, and Dr. MacDonald "The only backgrounds that I know that lack any detail of those kinds are fakes. Shoddy fakes as well. Professional work usually gives details, flaws to a person if you will. A DUI. A speeding ticket, or a parking ticket. It's the intricate flaws like that will lend more credence to a background."

"You think it's a cover?" Tony's eyebrows shot up.

"I think it's a possibility," Ziva countered, carefully. "But until we can find him, all we have it our suspicions. We can, at least, be grateful that we can put Pratt away for his involvement. The rest we can figure out later."

"Hmm. I guess so," Tony tunneled his fingers through his hair. "But I can't help, but feel that there is something going on here bigger than we know."

The elevator dinged open, Gibbs exited with Evelyn following behind them. Abby had just rushed up the stairs after hearing they were back, and the goth was most pleased to see that Gibbs had stopped to get her Caf-POW! "Yay for catching drug dealers! And yay for Caf-POW!" Abby declared, loudly as Gibbs placed the large cup into her hands.

"You know Abby, that caffeine is also a drug?" Evelyn pointed out, her lips tilted upward in amusement as Abby enthusiastically slurped the drink as if she were a dying man in the desert and it was water.

"I know that, Evie," Abby managed to pull herself away from her drink long enough to say, with a satisfied smirk after she guzzled three gulps of Caf-POW hastily. "But this drug is legal," she said, and she took another gulp of her drink.

"What is it they say about drugs?" Ziva inquired, her brow scrunched together. "Just say go?"

Evelyn laughed. "No," she told the Mossad Officer, with a shake of her head.

"Just say no?" Ziva blinked.

"Yes," Tony nodded.

"Just say yes?" Ziva asked, confused.

"No!" Tony chuckled.

Ziva looked at all the group, and shook her head. "Now I am confused," she stated, with a frown. She did not understand Americans, why did they have such strange sayings?

"I give up," Tony threw his hands up in the air.

* * *

Later that night, Evelyn moved about her kitchen at a languid place. Her spirits higher than they had been in a while and it felt like everything was coming together. Her fingers drummed on the countertop waiting patiently as the microwave slowly counted down, and she thought about how she would tell Gibbs the truth. Should she suggest a DNA test first? Or just blurt it out? It all left her most anxious, but against all hope…she felt hope rising in her chest. The microwave beeped, and she pulled open the small door. Reaching in, she hissed as she picked up the sides of the bowl that were still steaming hot when the house phone went off. "Hot, hot, hot," she muttered, until she set the bowl on the countertop with a loud plop.

Rubbing her tender finger tips on the hem of her jeans, she walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" She answered, her head cocked to the side.

"_Hello."_

"Lucas," she blinked, surprised. "I…this is a surprise."

"_I know. I just…felt the need to call. To see how you were."_

"I'm fine. Great even," Evelyn said, softly. She looked down a bit sheepishly because it was strange having someone actually care about her. Even back at Cathedral with her co-workers, there had been a level of distance. No one spoke of their personal lives, and only getting the mission done matter. In foster care, people had tried to care, but Evelyn hadn't been capable of letting them in. "So…what are you up to?"

"_Up to? Why Miss Matthews, what makes you think I'm up to something?" _His crisp English tickled her ear through the phone, and Evelyn bit back a smile.

"I just have a sneaky suspicion," Evelyn said, with a teasing tone.

Lucas chuckled. _"Well, the only thing I'm currently up to…is coming home from after a long day of work," _Lucas breathed out. Evelyn could make out a soft tune playing in the background, probably from the car speaker.

"Hmmm…" Evelyn paused for a moment. "You know, I don't I thinkI have ever asked you what you do for a living."

"_Freelance security_," Lucas told her.

"Freelance security?" Evelyn intrigued. "Sounds dangerous."

"_Not really_," Lucas stated, with a chuckle. "_Just mostly doing security for parties with celebrity clientele, people who think they are celebrities that is or stuffy socialites. Pretty boring, though on occasion some people do end up getting rowdy_." As he spoke of it, Evelyn supposed it made sense. He struck her as some in that type of field. "_Ah…home sweet home. Well, I'm going to hop off here and head inside_."

"I'm just going to go sit here on my living room floor sitting enjoying the warmth of a fire place and drinking some honey wine paired eating spaghetti and meatballs curtsey of the famed Chef Bordie," Evelyn stated, biting back a chuckle. She cradled the cellphone between her ear and her shoulder as she picked up her bowl off the counter. She made her way into the living room, where she had set up a makeshift picnic blanket. Her coffee cup and bottle of wine. She sat down and crisscross her legs, and set her bowl on the ground carefully when a thought occurred to her. "Hey…um…" Evelyn bit her lower lip. "Do…do you want to come over? Just for dinner. I think I have another can of spaghetti and meatballs and I can't polish this bottle of wine off by myself…unless you know you're feeling tired, or something."

There was a beat. "_I think that sounds like a great idea_," Lucas said, after a moment. _"After a change I will be right over."_

"Alright. I'll see you in a minute," Evelyn smiled. She had another cup, and bowl of food done by the time the knock came at the door. She walked quickly over, and pulled it open. Lucas stood there in a blue sweater and jeans. "Hey," her eyes immediately focused on the bruise on his right cheek then on the split lip. "What happened?" Her fingers reached out before she could stop them, and cupped his cheek.

Lucas leaned into the touch, his hand reached up to cover hers. "A…disagreement," he explained, quietly. "At work. Some people got a little out of hand, and I…had to handle it."

"A little out of hand? That looks like it hurt," Evelyn said, concern written in her blue eyes.

"You should see the other guy," Lucas gave a light shrug of his shoulders. "I do believe I was promised some wine and food?" Evelyn smiled, lightly. Her hand slid right out from under his, and she gestured for him to follow her. "A picnic?" He raised his eyebrows at the setup.

"It's…something I used to do with my parents." Evelyn ran her fingers through her hair, a bit embarrassed. "When the power would go out in a bad storm, we would make a picnic in the middle of the floor and use flashlights to make shadow puppets…I guess, it seems a bit silly, doesn't it?" She gnawed on her bottom lip, her cheeks flushed.

"Not at all," Lucas said, simply. "It sounds nice."

"What about you? What did your family do when you were a kid?" Evelyn sat down on the floor, and after a moment, Lucas sat down as well. He moved with feline grace that was familiar to her, but just our of reach.

"Anything?" Lucas arched a brow.

"Anything," Evelyn confirmed, with a nod and a half of smile.

Lucas paused for a brief moment to ponder the question, running his finger across his jaw. "Animals. We always had animals when I was growing up. Dogs, cats, birds. Even a few strays from time to time. My da, one time took in a wounded duck. It had somehow broke it's wing, and he helped it recover." Lucas had a fond smile on his face as he recalled. "I tried to follow his example you know. There were these baby opossums, the mother had gotten eaten by a fox and they were in the back of our barn. So I raised them…feeding them milk, and such. I used to let them hang off my finger."

"What happened to them?" Evelyn asked.

"I had to let them go," Lucas said, with a light shrug. "They were after all wild animals, and not pets to be kept. What about you? Any pets?"

"No. I think my dad wanted one, but my mother had horrible allergies. I found that out after I brought home a stray cat home, and hid it in my room," Evelyn chuckled, handing him a fork for his food. The orange firelight flickered over the room almost hypnotic in its movement.

"I can't imagine she was too pleased to find that out," Lucas stated, twirling the noodles on the end of the fork.

"No." Evelyn shook her head. "She broke out with hives, and was sneezing. I got grounded, but we found a home for the cat. One of my schoolmates was looking for one, so in the end I got the cat a home even if it wasn't with me."

"I guess we are both fond of strays," Lucas gave a dark chuckle. He took a bite of his food, and was pleased to find that it was indeed good. Not the best he has ever had, but better than some food that came out of a can. "Surprisingly good."

Evelyn paused in the motion of lifting a bite of food to her mouth. "You have never had Chef Boyardee before?" She looked frankly horrified by the thought, and she was. That had been some of the prim food of her teenage years along with ramen, and Oreos.

"No," Lucas shook his head.

"Oh, that is so sad," Evelyn murmured.

Lucas let out a laugh, and Evie marveled at the sound. It was a rich, deep sound that sent a shiver down her spine and her heart sped ever so slightly. His eyes crinkled around the edges of them, and he paused in looking at her. The air around them suddenly became charged, a familiar spark like the other night and Evelyn let out a breath when he reached out to touch her. His finger trailed down from the curve of her cheek to the dent in her chin and lightly tapped it before withdrawing. Evelyn felt the corners of her lips curl upward at the realization that he was flirting with her. Her heart was beating like a sledgehammer again. "No kissing," she said, though she didn't know who she was warning. Him, or herself.

"I have no such intention. At least, not tonight," Lucas replied, smiling a little. "I don't want to rush with you, and I know that you need that patience. I won't kiss you…unless you ask me to."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Hope you all enjoyed!**

**NEXT CHAPTER: Evelyn gets a blast from the past, and her very future may be threatened.**

**I am rebuilding a Soundtrack for this story, if you have a song you think fits this story please recommend it to me and it may end up on the list.**

**Spooks Soundtrack**

**1.) "Human" by Christina Perri**

**2.) "Sometimes" by Melanie Horsnell**

**3.) "Once" by Bradley Caleb Kane**

**3.) "A Day to Be Alone" by One Less Reason**

**5.) "You Are" by Mree**

**Rrs are appreciated. :D**


	14. Running Out of Time

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98 and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _**Caroline Kloster, CandyHearts22, Burned Spy, Guest, DS2010! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**Guest: **It is. :D

**Caroline Kloster: **Thank you so much! :D

**This chapter is inspired by 'After The Storm' by Mumford and Sons. Also have to give props to the NCIS Kindle game which has helped me with case storylines, I didn't want to use ones that people have most likely seen on tv. I wanted to give you all something a little bit new, if you don't have the game.**

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

'**TIME IS RUNNING OUT'**

**Three Weeks Later**

"Do you think it's done?" Evelyn asked, she stood up from where she was kneeling in the snow to inspecting it from all angles. Her nose was rosy red, and she tried to pull up her red scarf up to cover her face. The wind held an icy chill as flurries fell from the grey heaven's above. "What do you think?" Her blue eyes twinkled mischievously as she looked at her partner in crime.

"I think it's pretty solid," Lucas tapped his hand gently on the top to make sure it wouldn't cave in at the slightest pressure. "And it looks stable. There just one thing," he looked at her, with a confused half smile on his lips. "I'm just having trouble recalling why exactly we built an igloo?" He looked at her with an eyebrow arched.

"Why not? It's an impressive igloo, and it got rid of most of the snow in our driveways," Evie countered, with a smirk veiled by her scarf. A late snow storm had came at the beginning of March, and a blizzard later there was two feet of snow covering the ground. That along with idleness was part of the reason had Evie had conned Lucas into helping her build the igloo. "Why does it have mean anything beyond that?" She blinked her wide eyes and innocent.

"Because you were way too enthusiastic about dragging me out of my home this morning to build this thing," Lucas stated, her innocent act not fooling him the slightest.

"Well, there might be an actually reason," Evelyn admitted, with a demure smile as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Close your eyes."

"What?" Lucas looked at her.

"Just…do it," Evelyn waved her hand at him. "I swear I won't bite. At least, not this time," she said, with a half smirk and an overdramatic wiggle of her eyebrow towards him.

"Such a wicked tongue," Lucas chuckled. "One day it's bound to get you in lot of trouble," he warned her with a that crooked smile of his.

"You promise?" Evelyn asked, intrigued. She felt a spark run down her spine when she saw a flash through his eyes, like blue lightning and there was a curl of anticipation in stomach that happened every time he looked at her like that. It felt like a tiptoe a line, or taunting a sleeping tiger. "Close your eyes," she whispered out, her voice a little bit husky.

Lucas stared at her a long moment, his muscles coiled like he would spring on her at any minute but slowly he relaxed his stance. He flashed her a quick smile, before he let his eyes slid closed and Evelyn couldn't suppress the grin as she rushed back into her house to get the basket of things. She came back out, making her footsteps as soft as possible before she crawled into the igloo. "You can open your eyes," she called out to him.

"What…are you doing?" Lucas asked, a chuckle in his voice.

She saw his shadow fall across the opening of the igloo and snapped her fingers. "Ah! No peeking! You just are going to have to wait a minute," Evelyn stated, in a sing song voice.

Lucas ran his fingers across his jaw and wondered exactly what she was up to. He had never felt challenged by another person as he was with her, and when she have given him that slow, sexy smirk. She had been clearly taunting him it took everything in him not to pull her towards him and kiss that smirk right off her face. He never thought he would be thankful for the cold, but in this instance he was. "Can I come in yet?" He asked, leaning down hoping to catch a peek and what she was up to.

"Hold on…yes, you can come in now," Evie allowed, and shuffled back to make room. Lucas knelt down, his blue eyes narrowed and then let out a laugh once he saw the blanket and picnic basket.

"What is this?" He crawled the rest of the way into the igloo until he shifted around to side by her side on the blanket. "A picnic in winter?"

Evelyn smiled, guiltily at him. "I kind of wanted to make up for the canned spaghetti and cheap wine, so I make some of my mother's broccoli cheese soup and…homemade hot chocolate."

"Hmm. Sounds heavenly," Lucas grinned. After getting the thermal containers out, and getting the food out to each of them. As he slurped down the soup which was quite good, he leaned back against the snowy wall and looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "It actually quite warm in here."

"I told you it would be," Evelyn giggled, lightly. She held the cup of hot chocolate in her hands tightly, and she bit her lip before she cautiously shifted over until she was nestled into his side. For a moment she was worried she may have overstepped then she felt his arm snake around her waist and pulled her close. She bit back a grin, and settled her head back against his chest.

"May I inquire how you construe all of this?" Lucas asked.

"A little bit of boredom, and a little bit that I wanted to see you. It seems we've both been busy later," Evie mused, running her thumb across the rim of her cup while staring up at the igloo.

"We have," Lucas agreed, setting his cup of to the side. His fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt, and he could faintly feel the warmth of her skin just a heartbeat away. This was not simple friendship between them. It was more than that. "It's nice to finally have this time together."

"Mhmm," Evelyn agreed, soaking up his warm. After she was done, she dropped her cup aimlessly to the side and placed her hand on his chest. They sat there for a long moment, the warmth of the food and drink settling them both into a nice haze. "I think this is the best winter I've ever had," she commented, idly.

"It's technically spring," he corrected.

"You know what I mean," she swatted at him, half-heartedly. Her fingers traced the pattern of his tattoo through his coat, she had remembered it in great detail. "You remind me of the Tyger."

"Hmm?" His brows furrowed.

"The poem. By William Blake," she said, softly. She had truly found a passion for poetry when she was in middle school, and this particular one reminded her of Lucas greatly. "In what distant deeps or skies. Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand, dare seize the fire?"

"One of his best works, I think," Lucas breathed in her scent. She had on some kind of vanilla perfume on today, and it took everything in him to resist burying his face into her hair. "Blake compares the creator to a blacksmith, and he ponders about the anvil and the furnace that this creation would have required. How this powerful being who wielded them felt when the job was done and he looked upon what he had made? Did he smile at it as he did the Lamb? Could the one who made the gentle lamb and the one who made the terrifying lion be one in the same?"

Evelyn craned her head back to look up at his face. "It is a beautiful poem," she commented, and he tilted his head so he looked down at her. "What is one of your favorites? Of his works?"

Lucas hummed. He was an avid devotee of Blake's works, almost to the point of obsession really. There were a great many that stirred his soul, or captured his imagination. _The Lamb _was another of his favorites, though it's message was in ways opposite of that in _The Tyger_. He ran through several others before he settled on one. "The Smile," he said, after a long moment of contemplation.

Evelyn shifted, a light frown on her face. "I'm afraid I'm not familiar with one," she told him, blinking up at him.

He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair, his lips curving into a barely there smile. "There is a Smile of Love, and there is a Smile of Deceit. And there is a Smile of Smiles, in which these two Smiles meet," he recited from memory, while studying the contours of her face. The ways the shadows fell upon her face, and the rosy tint to her cheeks from the nipping cold. "And there is a Frown of Hate, and there is Frown of disdain. And there is a Frown of Frowns, which you strive to forget in vain. For it sticks in the Hearts deep core, and it sticks in the deep back bone. And no Smile that ever was smild, but only one Smile alone."

Evelyn listened to him with rampart attention, mesmerized by the way his crisp accent caressed every word and her eyes focused on how his lips moved. "The betwixt the Cradle &amp; Grave, it only once Smild can be. But when it once is Smild, theres an end to all Misery," he finished, on a sigh. His breath coming out as a puff of steam and he looked down at Evelyn waiting her response.

"It makes me sad," Evelyn let out a chuckling sigh. "I don't know why, but when you recited it…it made me sad. I think…I think it's because you looked so sad when you spoke it," Evie said, her hand cupping his cheek. There was the sweetest sadness in his eyes as he told her the poem, like he recalled something very painfully.

"Has anyone ever told you how incredibly observation you are?" Lucas commented, with a lazy sort of smile.

Evelyn stared at him steadily. "You're trying to change the subject," she accused, lightly. Her voice held no real heat for she was not truly angry, and she sat up lightly to be closer to him.

"See?" He tapped her nose with his finger. "Observant."

She smiled despite herself. "You think that being adorable will make me forget," she stated, the tip of her nose brushing his.

"Is it working?" Lucas quirked up an eyebrow.

"Hmm. Possibly," Evelyn said, a husky quality to her voice. Her blue eyes darted to his lips, and she swallowed thickly. She had many thoughts of those lips ever since they kissed so long ago. It seemed long ago. The way she felt, the way her body responded to Lucas scared her sometimes. She never thought she would ever walk any kind of intimacy after what Tarasov put her through. With her therapy, she was finally working through her issues and finally able to start releasing all her hurt. She knew that it still wouldn't be easy starting a relationship, but…with Lucas she wanted to try. "Do you remember what you said? That you would kiss me if I asked?"

Lucas's eyes laser focused on her lips before his blue eyes clashed with hers. He had went still underneath her, coiled tightly like a snake. "Yes, I remember quite vividly," he told her, his voice pitched low and she felt his hand tighten on her waist. "I also remember the lovely way you blushed afterwards."

"Would you? Now?" Evelyn asked, quietly.

"Would I what?" Lucas's lips curled into a teasing smirk.

"You know what I mean," she told him, eyes narrowed.

"I'm not sure I do," Lucas said, his smirk broadening.

Evelyn growled, which was not intimidating at all judging by the way Lucas's chest rumbled with quiet chuckles. Drawing in a deep breath, she looked him square in the eyes. "Kiss me," she demanded, though it came out more like a plea.

He reached up, tracing her lips with his thumbs and felt them tremble beneath his touch. It was a powerful feeling that surged through as she swayed forward as if pulled towards him by some invisible force. He could feel it tug at him, too, and his hand slid across her cheek to the back of her head. His fingers entangled within her hair, and he drew her close before he sealed his lips over hers. She sighed, and melted against him. Her hands reached up and clutched at his shoulders to pulled him closer. Lucas had an urge to pull her into his lap though he tensed a second later at the thought, and merely twisted so that he faced her better.

It was like a fire through her and threatened to scorch her from them inside out. She mourned, and was thankful that when they pulled apart for air. Her chest rose and fell with desperate gulps of air as Lucas pressed his forehead against hers. His stared down at her with a half-lidded gaze. "You're so beautiful," he said, with a quiet reverence. The palm of his hand cradling her face, and she nuzzled into its warmth letting her eyes flutter closed. It was strange. To be touched and not feel pain.

"You make me feel beautiful," she whispered, softly. Her mind had been slowly uncrossing the wires that Tarasov had twisted about, and she reveled in Lucas's warmth. She felt a connection to him, not just a psychical one, but one that resonated deep within her. He probably didn't know it, but he was helping piece her back together. She skimmed her fingertips across his forehead, and then down his cheeks with a soft smile on her face. Slowly, she began to lean in and she was just a heartbeat away from pressing her lips to his once again when a loud shriek shattered their fragile silence.

Evelyn startled back and her head hit the top of the igloo, and a bit of the snow crumbled in on top of them. Evelyn let out a high pitched squeal as some of the snow slid down into the neckline of her coat, and pitched forward. Lucas caught her before she could hurt herself, and he looked up at her with a chuckle. "Well, that's one way to break the mood," he said, with a large smile.

"I'll say," Evelyn gave a light laugh while he eased her down onto the ground, and she fished her phone out of her pocket. It had already stopped ringing, so she flipped it open to check her call log. "Crap."

"Work?" Lucas guessed, his thumb running circles on her waist through the barrier of her shirt.

Evelyn nodded, running her fingers through her hair. "I have to take this," she sighed, and looked at him with regret.

He reached out to smooth the loose strands of her hair out of her face. "Rain check?" He suggested, running his thumb along the curve of her jaw.

"Most definitely," Evelyn smiled, and then she hesitated before she leaned in. Her lips pressed against his tentatively, and he responded so gently like he was savoring each brush and movement before he pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open, and she stared down at him for a long moment. Her heart was thudding against her ribcage, and she opened her mouth to say something when her cell phone went off again. She closed her eyes with a groan. "I swear I soon as I can I am taking my vacation days."

"Oh? And what do you plan to do with your vacation days?" Lucas's eyebrows lifted towards his hairline as Evelyn flipped open her phone.

She gave him a half smirk. "That's for me to know, and for you to fantasize about," she gave him a wink before she pressed the phone to her ear. "Yeah, boss?"

Lucas just watched her, a fond smile on his lips. He swore that this woman could easily be the death of him, in more ways than one and he was beginning to think there was no other way he'd rather go.

* * *

Thin strips of light filtered in through the tightly shut blinds, and the office smelt faintly of cigar smoke and take out. The room was dimly light and the lights above buzzed loudly. "There's nothing on the body to suggest a cause of death," Evelyn stooped low to examine the man slumped in his chair. There was no blood nor contusion of any sort that she could spot. In fact, if it had not been for the unnatural pallor of the Commander's skin, it would have appeared that he was merely sleeping.

"We'll have to wait for Ducky's examination and test results from Abby then," McGee sighed, as he snapped a picture of the victim.

"The computer is cracked. It does look like an accident," Ziva noted, and McGee walked around the desk to take a picture as Ziva placed a marker to label it as a point of interest.

"The computer tower is smashed, too," McGee noted. "I might be able to repair it back at NCIS."

"Then we will bag it," Ziva commented, reaching for a bag when she realized that they couldn't bag the entire computer. "Well, we will find something it will fit in."

Evelyn looked at the entire scene, and noted other than the computer, the rest of the room was meticulously neat. Which meant that the Commander was most likely dead before the computer was smashed. "Hey, Tony," Evelyn frowned, pointing at the Commander's hand. "What's in his hand?"

Tony cocked his head to the side, and slowly reached forward to carefully extract the piece of paper from the man's hand. It was difficult for his hand had already seized with rigor mortis, but Tony managed to get it fear without tearing it. "It's a note. The handwriting is almost impossible to read. I think it say…'Tell Debra I love…'" Tony's face scrunched up, for the rest of it was practically illegible. "I can't make out anymore. Maybe Abby could."

"Food cart from the base mess hall," Gibbs gestured over towards it. "We might be able to pull some prints off of that. Bag it."

"On it, boss," Tony said, after securing the note in a evidence bag. He handed it over to Evelyn who put it into the box that they would take back to NCIS. Evelyn then turned, her fingers curled around the phone that hung off the hook.

"Looks like Commander Burnett was trying to call someone," Evelyn commented, looking over the phone carefully. "Maybe for help."

"I'll pull the phone records when we're done here," McGee stated.

Tony eyed the food sitting on the desk beside the Commander with a look of distaste. "Not much of a last supper," Tony looked at the wilting salad with a horrified shudder. "Ugh, Navy food. No wonder he didn't finish it."

Evelyn just shook her head. Trust Tony to find humor somewhere here. "I take it your not a fan?" She quirked up an eyebrow at him. Tony grimaced dramatically, and it made Evelyn laugh while Ziva merely chuckled.

"Should we bag the food?" McGee questioned, bringing them back on point. "It could have been something he ate."

"Then bag it, McGee," Gibbs stated. He looked around the crime scene with a critical eye, and he sighed. "I think we've seen everything we need to here. Tony, Evelyn, go talk to the cook. See if there is anything there. McGee, Ziva, we are heading back to NCIS."

* * *

Lucas picked the lock, and carefully eased the back door open. His hands were gloved so he would leave no fingerprints behind and he took a deep breath before he silently crossed the threshold. The home was quiet, and dark. Despite the vacant appearance of it, Dr. MacDonald's car was still parked in his driveway. Lucas's gaze was sharp, raking over every nook and cranny that he could spoke for any movement. His gun was held out in front of him, a precaution in case Dr. MacDonald put up a fight when Lucas brought him in. He craned his neck and peered down a hallway to see a light coming from a doorway. The faint sound of Beethoven's fifth symphony echoed eerily down towards him, and there was a unsettling sensation that rolled through him. Something felt off about this place, and he now understood why Fornell wished for him to check it only.

Lucas made his footsteps silent, and he raised his gun pressing his back against the wall so he cast no shadow. He paused onc he reached the door for one second, before he rounded the corner and came to an abrupt halt. A dark, ugly feeling roiled in his stomach and it took everything in him not to pull trigger right then and there. "I should have known," Lucas growled, viciously. Lucas felt an unbridled rage well up inside of him as he stared down the barrel of his gun right at Tarasov, the very man the FBI was scrambling to catch. He sat there in his tailored suit, as if unconcerned by the gun pointed in his direction and the body lying at his feet.

"Hello, Luka," Tarasov gave him an all too pleasant smile. "It has been far too long since we last seen each other, and I such a great desire to get reacquainted."

"The only desire I have is to put a bullet into your skull," Lucas snapped, his face twisted into a snarl. Lucas had known the bastard would show his face sooner than later, but he felt vaguely like a mouse that had been cornered.

"That would be a pity for you see I had come to make you're an offer," Tarasov stated, one hand draped across the arm of the golden chair while the other held a handmade cane with a wolf's head on the top.

"I have no need of your offers," Lucas spat. The hand holding the gun trembled, and he quickly accessed the situation he had just stepped into. It had all the signs of a setup which meant that more than likely there was a mole in the FBI. Something he and Fornell had both been worried about. Doctor MacDonald was dead. Some type of asphyxiation by the look of the form dripping out of his mouth.

"Oh, I think you will want to here what I have to offer," Tarasov reached into his jacket pocket to pull out his handkerchief and he dabbed the sweat off of his brow. "You would be an exquisite double within the FBI. No one would suspect you and I would conspire after all we've been through. It would be audacious, elegant," Tarasov stated, with a wicked smile.

"You are insane," Lucas stated, flatly. He shook his head side to side as his gut twisted painfully inside of him. He wanted nothing to do with this man who had helped with his torture, and would rather be dead than enter in some kind of partnership with him. "That is not going to happen. Why would I ever do that?"

"For control. You are always were a dog led about on a leash, by Arkardy…by MI-5 and now I do believe that the FBI are the ones jerking your chain," Tarasov smirked when Lucas's expression went murderous. "With me, you would be in control. Something I think you have realized will never happen while you're working with them, and let's face it…it wouldn't be the first time you were a traitor." He rolled his shoulders and rose up off the chair. "Ah, well, I can see that you are deadest in your loyalties, however misguided they may be. I will leave you to this mess."

"If you think that I'm going to let you walk out of here," Lucas started towards him, until he saw a red dot the size of pinprick right above his heart. He glanced up at the window, and then glared at Tarasov. His heart was thundering in his chest with nothing, but pure hatred in that moment.

"As you can see, Luka," Tarasov strode towards the door, swinging his cane in his left hand. "You really don't have a choice. Good-bye, Luka. I regret that we could not come to some kind of agreement and the next time we meet…I will kill you."

Lucas glared daggers at Tarasov as he exited the room. He stood there as still as a statue for a good fifteen minutes until the red dot disappeared off his chest. He dropped to the ground, out of the line of sight while he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. He immediately hit Fornell's number, and took a deep breath as his hand curled into a fist. He wanted to hit something in his rage, and he slammed his fist down into the floor. Pain ripped through his knuckles and he gritted his teeth. "Fornell," he all, but growled. "We have a problem."

* * *

"That was McGee," Tony shut the phone. "He got the computer working and apparently our victim felt sick after he ate lunch," Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "But we won't know for sure until Abby runs analyzes it and Ducky's autopsy is done."

"It does have all the telltale signs of poisoning," Evelyn nodded, for she had similar thoughts. She couldn't help, but make parallels to their previous case in her mind. There were a few similarities, but nothing yet to cause any alarm. Yet. "The cook was very adamant that he had nothing to do with Commander's death, and I'm inclined to believe him. He is sending a Petty Officer Christian Bond our way. Apparently after the cook finishes the food it is then labeled and Petty Officer Bond delivered it."

"I think that's him now," Tony looked up and saw the cook gesture for a Petty Officer to head towards them. "Petty Officer Bond? I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, and this Special Agent Evelyn Matthews," Tony flashed his badge, and watched the Petty Officer's eyes widened.

"Um, okay. What's this about?" Petty Officer Bond asked. His eyes flickered nervously between the two of them.

"What time did you deliver Commander Burnett's lunch today?" Tony inquired, shoving his hands into his jacket.

"Around noon. It's usually the same time everyday. We've become pretty good friends. Why?" The Petty Officer seemed confused.

Evelyn studied him for a moment. "How long have you known the Commander?" Evelyn asked, quietly.

"Since I was assigned here about a year ago. Matt has always been nice to me. He showed me around when I first started." Bonds stated, with a frown. "What is this…exactly about?"

Evelyn glanced at Tony and he inclined his head. "Commander Matt Burnett was found dead this afternoon," she told him, it was best to blunt about these things.

"What? Matt's dead?" Petty Officers Bond turned pale. "That's impossible, he was just fine when I saw him at noon!"

Tony sighed. "I'm sorry. I know that this hard, but we need your help. Do you know anyone who had a grudge against the Commander?" Tony asked, watching the grief twist the Petty Officer's face.

"I have no idea. I can't believe this."

"Had the Commander been ill recently? Was he depressed? Or had his behavior been off in some way?" Evelyn inquired.

Bond closed his eyes, and pinched his brows. "He seemed happy and I never saw him sick," the Petty Officer shook his head. "Although…the other day Matt did mention that he has been to see Doctor Spencer MacDonald at the base infirmary."

Evelyn stood a little straighter, and shared a look with Tony out of the corner of her eye. Tony shifted, and cleared his throat. "Doctor Spencer MacDonald? You are sure about that?" Tony asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Yes. I mean, I don't know why he went to see the doc. I didn't think it mattered at the time," Petty Officer Bond shook his head. "God, I wish I had now."

Evelyn's mobile rang, and she looked at the screen. "Hey, Abs," Evelyn answered her phone, and took a couple of steps away to let Tony wrap up the interrogation.

"Hey, Evie! What's up?" Abby asked.

"Nothing, but a dead end. Well, for the most part," Evelyn frowned, running her fingers through her hair. "Had any luck with processing the evidence found at the crime scene yet?"

"Of course! You'd think I would call you with nothing?" Abby mocked outraged.

"Abby, I've had you call in the middle just to talk about the latest lifetime movie," Evelyn told her, with a half smile.

"Yeah, but that's what friends are for," Abby brushed it off. "According to major mass spectrometer, there was alprazolam in victim's blood. Some had mixed alprazolam into the Commander's mashed potatoes. But there's more…there was traces of methadone hidden in the Commander's lunch."

A jolt went through her at the term methadone, and she had just found her red flag. Her fingers tightened around the phone, and she cast a glance over her shoulder to see Petty Officer Bond take his leave. "That's what I was afraid of. The alprazolam?" Evelyn asked, surprised. "That's an antidepressant. It's for panic attacks and anxiety disorders." She knew this because the therapist had prescribed her some a few months ago. "Did the drugs react badly together? Is that why he died?"

"Yep, Commander Burnett was definitely poisoned," Abby chirped.

"Something like that," Evelyn said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Thanks, Abs," she closed the phone, and she looked at Tony as he approached. "Our victim was drugged. An antidepressant, and methadone."

"Huh. Another methadone poisoning and Doctor MacDonald right in the middle of it," Tony stated, with a frown. "I think we need to get back to NCIS and fill Gibbs in."

"Probably would be best."

* * *

The sound of paperwork being shuffled about with the sound of footsteps echoed form all sides of the squadroom. It was just a regular day at NCIS, Evelyn concluded as she and Tony walked off the elevator. She rolled her shoulders, a knot of tension in the middle of her back when Tony tapped her shoulder. "Fornell alert," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

Evelyn paused, and looked up. "You have to be kidding me," she hissed out, underneath her breath. "I knew we should have stop for coffee."

"Sorry," Tony stated, with a light wince. Gibbs and Fornell seemed to be in some kind of heated exchanged. When they reached the group, Gibbs had a scowl on his face, and vaguely like he sorely wanted to punch the FBI agent in his face. By smirk on Fornell's face, the FBI agent knew it, too.

"What's going on?" Evelyn asked, her breaking through the tension. Her blue eyes flickered towards Gibbs for the answer, and she shifted until she stood by his side. There was something about Fornell that put her on edge, as if every time he saw her that he suspected something.

"Doctor Spencer MacDonald was found dead," Gibbs stated, his voice deceptively calm. His fingers were clenched around his coffee up, and it took everything in him not to give into the childish impulse to crush it. "The FBI have decided to be so gracious to take help us with the case," his voice implied that he believed no such thing.

"Joy," Evelyn commented, dryly.

"You have a problem working with others, Matthews?" Fornell arched a brow at her with an aloof expression on his face.

"I was home schooled," Evie stated, dryly as if that explained everything. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she kept her face blank.

Gibbs fought back proud smirk, and stared stonily at Fornell. "What do you have?" He asked, reluctantly. He didn't know what Fornell's interest was in this case, and he had a feeling that the FBI agent wasn't going to be open about it, either.

"What do you have?" Fornell countered.

"Cut the crap, Fornell," Gibbs told him, shortly. "You know what we know already. I know it. You know it. Now I want to know what you found at your crime scene."

Fornell heaved out a sigh. "You're a demanding man, Gibbs. I respect that about you," he told him, with a quirk of his lips.

Gibbs just gave him a look.

"Fine." Fornell relented. "We found Doctor MacDonald dead in his home office earlier today. He had been given a lethal combination of methadone and-"

"Alprazolam?" Evelyn cut in.

Fornell looked at her. "Yes," he said, his brows furrowed. "How did you-"

"It's the exact way Commander Burnett was killed. I thought you knew," Gibbs gave him a frown. "Which case our you hear for?"

"The drug one. With the dead Ensign. I wasn't aware that there was another murder with any connection to our Dr. MacDonald," Fornell stated, with a grimace. "Well, this case load just keeps piling up."

"You are always free to leave," Tony pointed out.

"I'll stay, thanks," Fornell sent him a dry glance. "We recovered a few fingerprints, but so far no matches to the database. And this…" He made a gesture to McGee who pulled up a picture on the widescreen. "A calling card."

Evelyn went perfectly still, not a breath ease out of her nor did she draw a single gasp of air in. Her eyes were wide as horror dripped down her spine like fingers of ice as she took in the symbol on the screen. A circle with three claw marks slashed through, red and made to look like blood.

It was the calling card of Reverent. The conversation continued around her, but all was deaf to her ears. This couldn't be happening. Reverent could not be here. It couldn't be. She felt her fingertips begin to tremble against her will, and she felt panic dig vicious claws into her chest. The whole point of MI-6 creating the off branch such a Cathedral had been to take them down, and after great effort and suffering they had. Reverent was meant to be gone, and Cathedral disbanded. A part of her had always been suspicious when members of Cathedral started to die off. It's one of the reason she had left that life behind, but she had nothing truly concrete to base her fears off of.

And asking MI-6 after what they did to her…

Suddenly all that dimmed in comparison to one thought.

"There here for me," she whispered out. Fear ripped the air right out of her chest, and her heart felt like it stopped in her chest as black spots danced in front of her vision. She felt her body tilt backwards in a free fall.

And her entire world went black.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Hope you all enjoyed!**

**I am rebuilding a Soundtrack for this story, if you have a song you think fits this story please recommend it to me and it may end up on the list.**

**Spooks Soundtrack**

**1.) "Human" by Christina Perri**

**2.) "Sometimes" by Melanie Horsnell**

**3.) "Once" by Bradley Caleb Kane**

**3.) "A Day to Be Alone" by One Less Reason**

**5.) "You Are" by Mree**

**6.) "I Found" by Amber Run**

**7.) "Line of Fire" by The Veronicas**

**8.) "Big Eyes" by Lana Del Ray**

**9.) "Let Me Out" by The Veronicas**

**10.) "Since I Found You" by Christian Bautista**

**11.) "Sweet Child O'Mine" by Guns and Roses**

**12.) "Open Your Eyes" by Aviators**

**13.) "Miss Murder" by AFI**

**14.) "Beautiful Ending" by Barlow Girl**

**15.) "Heaven" by Amber Run**

**Rrs are appreciated. :D**


	15. How We Fall Apart

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98 and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _**rehouseclan**_, _**Caroline Kloster, CandyHearts22, Burned Spy, Guest, DS2010! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**Redhouseclan: **Glad you love it. The igloo part was fun to write. :D

**Caroline Kloster: **Thank you so much, glad you like it that much. :D

**Chapter Inspired by:**

"Illuminated" by Hurts

"Won't Be Your Winter" by Sister Hazel

"Broken Wings" by Alter Bridge

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**"How We Fall Apart"**

_It was dark._

_It was always dark._

_The room was cold, and her feet felt numb from pacing the concrete floor. The lumpy cot was no comfort, and she could not sleep with the winter air of Russia came through the broken barred window above. There were grey clouds swayed above, ominous in their movement and brought no comfort. She had become numb to all the wounds, the pain a distant feeling as the world around her was shoved into the back of her mind. Evelyn felt like just maybe…she could survive this._

_Then Tarasov came in, and the pain started again. _Her eyes snapped open, and Evelyn came to with Ducky and Gibbs hovering over with concern expression. She blinked in confusion, and she tried to sit up. Gibbs hand landed on her shoulders, to steady her. "Easy there, Evelyn," Gibbs told her, his voice gentle. "Not so fast. You fainted and hit your head."

"I…what?" Evelyn head pounded painfully. Her hand reached out to ease herself up slowly with the use of Gibbs's arm as an anchor. "I fainted?" She asked, her voice slurred slightly. She felt dizzy and dazed, like her head was filled with cobwebs.

Ducky reached out, holding her chin steady as he flashed a light in them. Evelyn's face scrunched as she instinctively recoiled from the light. "Yes, you are quite lucky you didn't give yourself a concussion," Ducky chided, gently. "Tell me, when was the last time you ate?"

"What? Why?" Evelyn gave him a frown.

"Answer the question," Gibbs gave her a flat look.

Evelyn's eyebrows shot up at the harsh tone, a bit taken aback. "…This morning. I ate this morning," she rubbed a hand down her face, her face and neck red hot with embarrassment.

"You hesitated," Tony stated.

Evelyn gave him a glare.

"Are you sure?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes, I am sure. Why do you want me to give you a list of witnesses to verify my story?" Evelyn shot at him, grumpily. She had fainted, that didn't make her some china doll about to shatter.

"Wouldn't hurt," Gibbs gave a light shrug.

Evelyn looked like she wanted to punch him.

"How have you been sleeping?" Ducky inquired, thoughtfully.

"It's been fine," Evelyn stated, truthfully. "Look, I didn't faint because I haven't been eating, or lack of sleep. I fainted because…" And then all came flooding back with the force of a hurricane, her eyes for a split second flickered up to the image on the screen before she looked down hastily. Her heart hammered in her chest, all the dread hit her all over again. "I…I…I think I need something to drink. Does anyone have a water?" She asked, faintly. Her hand was shaking when she reached up to smooth her hair out of her face as she rose to her feet.

Gibbs didn't let her go until she was seat in Tony's chair that Tony offered without a word. "Evelyn, are you alright?" Gibbs studied her. There was something in the way she was acting right now that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up in warning. It was reminiscent of when she first arrived on his team, except worse. When she arrived she had been a bit trust issues, she had been wary in placing her faith in them.

This was different. She was shutting down. He could see something in her expression, like a wall fall down. Gibbs felt a pang hitting his chest as well as feeling of disappointment. "I'm fine," she said, and there was something off with her voice. A strain of emotions that she was holding back with vicious reign.

Gibbs wasn't buying her words for a split second, and his lips thinned out. He gave a quick sigh before he stood up and gestured for Ziva to watch Evelyn while he went to go speak to Fornell, who had been lingering off to the side after all the commotion.

"Here," Ziva handed her a bottle of water.

"Thanks." Evelyn grasped it with shaky fingers. While she felt Ziva still had her doubts about her, they had come to some sort of silent understanding. Ziva still watched carefully, and so far Evelyn had given her nothing to worry about. Evelyn closed her eyes for a brief second, and let out deep breath. She had never wanted this part of her life to touch them, any of them. Her blue eyes flickered towards Gibbs as she took a sip from the bottle of water before she ran a hand down her face tiredly. Him most of all.

She sat quietly as Ducky finished his examination. "You will feel that knot for a few days," he prodded the bump on the back of her head and she flinched. "Other than that, you seem to be in perfect health."

"Thank you for the clean bill of health," she mustered up a grin, making it as genuine as she could. Ducky didn't bat an eye, so she must have done a good enough job. He patted her shoulder before he had to head back down to the morgue, and continue with work. Evelyn looked around the squadroom, the large room felt suddenly too small and like a noose slowly being drawn around her neck. Too tight for her to breath. She could feel the team all giving her looks, not understanding why she felt she was dying on the inside.

How could she let herself believe that she could have this life? How could she con herself into believing that maybe she would be safe? Now her past was nipping at her heels threatening to unravel everything she had been fighting to build. Reverent may not have been the main contributor to her hellish year, but they had still been part of the nightmare. To know that part of that was so close to her…she shuddered, feeling sick to her stomach. She looked when she saw a shadow looming over, she looked up to see Gibbs standing there. A childish part of her wanted to throw her arms around him, and cry until she couldn't cry no more. "I'm sending you home," Gibbs told her.

"What?" Evelyn gaped at him, before she slowly shook her head. "Boss, it was just a dizzy spell. I am completely fine."

"No, you're not," he said, his expression leaving her no room to protest. "I don't know what happened, but I can see that something is not right with you."

"What a nice thing to say," she retorted, scathingly.

"I'm not trying to be nice here, Matthews," he stated, sternly. "I am here as your boss, and you are not fit to handle any more of this case today. Know your limits."

Evelyn gave him a grudgingly look before her shoulders slumped down. "Is that a new rule or something?" She asked, tapping her fingers across her knees. She didn't want to leave, but every instinct she had was telling her to tuck tail and run.

"I'll add it to list," Gibbs said, with a faint trace of a smile in his voice. He then looked at her seriously. "This isn't a punishment, Evelyn."

"I know," Evelyn inclined her head. "I get it. I just…" she stood up from the chair, with the water bottle clasped in her hand. Her heart was about to pound out of her chest, and she wondered if she should just come clean. With everything, just lay out all of her cards on the table and hope that she had a winning hand. Her heart ached in her chest, and she felt so afraid in that moment. She just…she just wanted her father to tell it was going to be okay. That somehow they would find a way and it would be okay. She didn't want him to hate. She didn't think she could handle it if he turned his back on her. "Boss…there is something I need to tell you," Evelyn started, her eyes stark with emotions.

"What is it, Evelyn?" Gibbs asked, his brows furrowed with concern.

"I…" She began, her voice trembling.

"Abby's got a hit on those fingerprints," McGee announced, loudly. Gibbs looked over at him, and raised an impatient eyebrow. "She also found something she thinks the both of you and Fornell will find interesting."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Gibbs?" Fornell looked at him.

"Hold on." Gibbs told him before he looked back down at Evelyn. "You were saying, Matthews?" He asked, his blue eyes narrowed as he watched a myriad of emotions flicker across her face before she suddenly looked resigned.

"Uh, you know what," she tucked her hair behind her ear and she looked downward at her feet before releasing a sigh. "It wasn't that important."

"Evelyn," Gibbs was about to call her out. She was clearly lying, but she just flashed him a smile before she turned on heel grabbing her purse and her coat.

"Really, boss, it's fine," she kept the smile on her face until the elevator doors slid closed. She let her façade drop, and let her face fall into her hands.

"What am I going to do?"

* * *

Lucas was bent of with his head underneath the faucet of the sink as he washed the shampoo out of his hair, and he gave a light hiss at the heat of the water. However, he could not turn it down. Cold water just made the flashbacks worse, and he couldn't stand being underneath the showerhead completely. He could wash off his body just fine, but he couldn't stick his head underneath it. It brought back the sensation of being water boarded, the feeling of drowning all over again. Even after so many years, it still haunted him.

He pulled back once the suds had dissipated, and dried of his hair with towel before he paused to glance down at the file, nearly an inch thick, sitting on his counter. It taunted him, and let him with a sinking sensation on his chest. It was a dossier on Evelyn. Everything that FBI had gathered on her so far, and Fornell had dropped it off earlier. He had yet to read it. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, because if he did…it would shattered the illusion that had been created.

The one were Evelyn was just another woman, and he was just another man that had found something real between them. And there was something real between them, but Lucas wasn't an ordinary man and Evelyn wasn't an ordinary woman. He sighed heavily, his finger tip brushing across the file when there was a knock at his door. Brows furrowed, Lucas craned his head to look towards the hallway and started towards the front door when a second knock echoed through his home.

He reached the door, and pulled it open warily. Surprise momentarily flashed across his face, then he blinked down at Evelyn. "Evelyn? I thought you were at work," he stated, with a quizzically frown on his face.

Lucas could see the struggle on her face, as she tried to say so many things. In the end, she felt her expression fall and she pulled Lucas towards her, wrapping her arms around his waist. She buried her face against his chest to hide the pain she was feeling, trying to seek some solace in his warmth. It felt like the entire world was crumbling beneath her feet, and she just…needed this moment to be still. To hold on to him, and put the rest of it away. "Evelyn, you are shaking," Lucas frowned, his arms encircling tightly. She was shaking like a leaf. "What's the matter? What happened?"

Evelyn let out trembling breath. "I'm sorry…I just…" she let out a shaky breath, and pulled back from him. Looking up at him, her blue eyes were filled with pain. "Have you ever felt you are at the edge of a cliff and if you don't jump you'll get pushed?" She asked him, a slight hitch in her voice.

"Yes. I have," Lucas said, his brows furrowed. "Evelyn, what happened?"

Evelyn pursed her lips together, and looked down. It was killing her to keep it all bottle up inside of her, but she didn't know what else to do. Her mind was racing, and she felt like up was down and left was right. She ran her fingers through her hair, and she looked up at him. "I just needed to see you. I just need to feel something that wasn't fear, or pain. I just needed something real to hold onto," she said with such heartbreaking honestly in her voice. Her finger reached up and she cupped his jaw in the palm of her hand.

Lucas could feel that something had spooked Evelyn. It didn't take a genius to feel the tremble of fright that ran through her. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, and he leaned down carefully. His nose brushed the tip of her nose, but she did not draw away. She leaned into him, needing his closeness to anchor herself right in this moment. A silent reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

Lucas's lips brushed hers, for a brief second. There was a flicker of disappointment at the chaste kiss, and she looked up at the teasing smile on his face. Brushing the hair out of her face, his hands framed her face and he lowered his mouth back down to hers. It was such a gentle command in the way he kissed it, but with each passing brush, the kiss became more and more insistent. Evelyn grabbed on his bare arms, tip of her toes and her stomach flipped and flopped.

Lucas nipped at her bottom lip before soothing it with a quick swipe of his tongue. It wasn't a very long kiss, but it ended much too soon. She drew in a deep breath, a tremble deep inside of her and she stared deep into his eyes. There was a charge between them, a brief flare of warning that they were both playing with fire. His hands trembled on his neck while the other echoed from her waist. There was a brief moment filled with their mingled breaths before he crushed her to him, slanting his mouth of hers.

She tasted like the sweetest of honey and strawberries. The kiss was not like the other one, it was hungry and desperate as he lifted her body to his. She molded herself to him, and clawed at him, wanting to feel as close as she could. Her fingers slid up into his hair, and the only way he would breath is through her. He hand cupped the curve of her behind, and helped her hook her legs around his waist. He growled as she tightened around him, teasing him. He nipped at her chin in equal measure of reprimand and approval as he carried up to the bedroom. He kicked the door open not breaking from their kiss, and not bothering shutting it behind him.

Lucas laid her down carefully on the bed before he crawled on top of her, and brushed a strand of hair out of her face before leaned down brushing his lips against her. It sweet, slow strokes that did nothing to beat back the fire burning within her and she wrapped hers arms around his neck, pulling him close. She kissed him, hungrily and he didn't even bat an eye at the change of pace. Instead, he met her every movement like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. With one arm to prop him so he didn't crush her, the other slid down across her porcelain neck then down her side slowly. She tensed and giggled slightly when he found a sensitive and ticklish spot. He made a mental note for a later date before he pressed onward until his fingers went the of the shirt.

He toyed with the hem of her tank top for several seconds before he slid his fingers across the smooth skin of her stomach underneath. She moved restlessly against him, with a slight moan of disappointment when he pulled his mouth from hers. Licking her suddenly parched lips, she tried to speak when Lucas pulled back only to now place his lips directly on her pulse. "Oh," her eyes slid closed as he gently sucked on the sensitive skin. He let his teeth graze against the silky skin drawing a sharp gasping moan from her lips.

Drawing such a noise from her made him feel invincible, like he seven foot tall and bulletproof. He let out a light groan as his hands lifted her shirt up, and over her head.

As soon as it was out of the way, she pulled him back into another kiss. It was harder, and more needy than the last one. His hands ran up her ribcages and to the black lacy bra that she wore. His hands trembled with nothing more than to tear the bra off, but he could feel something shift in Evelyn. "Lucas…we…have to…" She could barely speak between the desperate kiss they shared. Her hands had a mind of her own, and she helped him pull his t-shirt over his head. Her hands grasped at her shoulders and pulled him back down towards her. Their hands roamed over one another, eliciting moans and desperate gasps escaping their mouths when they found the right spots.

He held her face between his hands, and kissed like a dying man of thirst and she was the water. It was so pure, and filled with emotions that sent Evelyn's mind racing. He pulled back from her face, and searched her eyes for a long moment. "Are you alright?" He inquired, lightly.

"I am…" Evelyn said, faintly. "It's just…this is…" She leaned up to kiss him, a gently apology before she pulled away from him. She looked up at him sadly, and waited for his reaction.

"I know that you still can't do anything," he whispered kissing her softly on forehead, then her cheeks, and tracing her lips with his thumb before he rewarded her with a kiss there.

"It's not that I don't want to. I really want to," she told him, earnestly. "It's just…so fast and I feel like I'm falling and losing my head…" She shook her head, and looked at him regretfully. "I'm sorry. I got you all, and now I'm…" her cheeks were flushed with embarrassed and she looked down at her hands where she idly fiddled with the sheets on the bed. She hated the fact that she still had reservations about this.

"Evelyn," he said.

She didn't look up.

"Evelyn, look at me," he said, his fingers brushing her chin and she looked up at him. Her expression wary and her body posture telling him she was just waiting for a sign of rejection. His poor girl had been hurt deeply. "I know that you are working through a lot. You may not have confided in me completely, but I see it. I understand it that you need to take things slow, and I…" He grasped both of her wrists and placed a kiss on each of them softly. "Do not mind waiting. Not for you. I don't need sex to be close to you, Evelyn. I would be content for the rest of my life if I could just hold you here in my arms."

Evelyn stared at him in a quiet kind of awe. "You are the most remarkable man I have ever met, have ever told you that?" She asked, with a tiny smile on her face. Being here with him in this moment made her feel better. It didn't make her worries any less great, but it was like the calm amidst the storm. Her sanctuary.

"Thank you for remarking on it," Lucas flashed her a grin, and shifted off her. He laid on his side, and Evelyn twisted over on her side to face him. He slid his arms around her waist, and kissed her gently on the mouth. Evelyn scooted as close as she could, resting her on one of her arms and the other thrown over his arms. She buried her face in his chest, and he stroked her hair idly until her breathing had evened out.

He drew in a slow, even breath before he pressed a kiss to her temple. "What are you doing to me, Evelyn?" He whispered into her peaceful sleeping face.

* * *

There was a tickling sensation that ran down her ribcage, so she shifted to scoot away only there was an arm wrapped around her preventing her from doing so. She breathed in sharply, inhaling the familiar scent of spice and thunderstorm. "Lucas," she mumbled, with a half chuckle and half whine, "stop that. It's like three in the morning…"

"Stop what?" Lucas asked, his tone feigned innocent as his fingers trailed her side once more and she half-heartedly at him. He chuckled as she rolled over to face him.

"You are completely evil," Evelyn said, sleepily with a light smile on her face. She ran her fingers through her hair, and opened her eyes to find him propped up on his side, his gaze upon her face.

"Would I be less evil if I made you breakfast?" Lucas offered, with a half smile on his face as he leaned over her. His nose brushing the tip of hers and her smiled widened.

"Breakfast at three morning?" Evie laughed.

"Is there a better time for it?" Lucas asked.

"Hmmm, I guess could be persuaded," Evelyn commented, slyly.

"I'd be happy to oblige," Lucas pressed his lips to hers in a slow, sensual kiss. Her hands slid up his neck, and into his hair, but before she could pull him close, he pulled back. "Do you prefer waffles or French toast?" He inquired, with a wicked smirk on his face.

She almost told him to screw the food, and pulled him back down for a kiss when her stomach growled embarrassing loud. Her cheeks turned red as Lucas laughed. "French toast if that's okay," she stated, meekly.

"I can do that," Lucas promised. "I have to get changed, and I'll meet you down in the kitchen."

"Uh," a sudden thought occurred to Evelyn, and she looked at him a bit sheepish. "Do you have any idea where my shirt is?"

After the embarrassing search for her shirt, they had found it at the foot of the bed twisted up in the covers, Evelyn had pulled it on and rushed down the kitchen. When she first woke up, there was the sleepy dissociation where she could only faintly recall yesterday then the more she woke up, the more it came back. Her heart felt heavy inside her chest, and she gnawed on her bottom lip, glancing over her shoulder. Lucas was still upstairs, and Evelyn eyed the cordless phone that sat on its hook.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out and picked it up. Dialing in a number quickly, she pressed the phone in her ears and tapped her foot against the floor, nervously. It rang once, it rang twice, and after the third ring voicemail came on. _"Hey, it's Elle. You've reached my voicemail, so I'm probably out running around. Just leave me a message, and I'll get back to you."_

"Hey, Elle," Evelyn ran her finger through her hair with a deep sigh. "It's Evelyn. Call me back as soon as you get this. I need a big favor, and I…I think I'm running on borrowed…" She jerked as her elbow brushed up against something, and turned around with a frown. Her brows pinched as she studied at the large file sitting on the kitchen counter. At first, Evelyn dismissed it as having to do with Lucas's work until her eyes flickered to the name on the file. Her blood ran cold, and she stood there rooted to the spot. After several desperate gulps of air, she croaked out into phone, "Call me back, please."

She ended the call and set the phone down on the countertop before she took a step forward, then hesitated. There was a knot of dread in the pit of her stomach and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. _No, no, no, no, _she thought, her heart swelled up inside her chest. With shaky fingers she picked up the folder, and flipped it open. The words in black and white print hit her with all the force of a truck, and she felt her heart just _break_.

Lucas stepped around the corner to find Evelyn standing there, with the dossier Fornell had left him in her hand. When he saw the betrayal and hurt etched into her face, Lucas's gut clenched painfully. It one of the most painful things he had ever felt.

"What is it?" Her chest felt too tight. Her heart was racing, and she wished she had never thought to pick up those papers. The pictures, the words, all of it had stricken her cold.

"What is it?" Evelyn asked, her voice sharp. Her face was so painfully kept in place, but it was the eyes that gave her away. They shined in the moonlight, glazed over with tears as she stared down at her file with betrayal written across her face. She stood too still, like she was a statue and not skin and bone.

Lucas stared at her, before he heaved a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. Jaw clenched, he took a step forward only to halt when Evelyn tensed. "You know what it is," he told her, his voice flat and monotone.

Evelyn's heart sank. He didn't even deny it. Did she even want him, too? Part of her wished he had tried. "Oh," was all she could get out before the lump in her throat became too painful for her to speak. She turned away, the file still in her hand. She wanted to drop it, to throw, do something with it but her fingers clasped it like it was a lifeline. Her eyes raced across the words, words that would forever been branded inside her mind. "None of it was real," she whispered out.

Lucas's heart slammed up into his throat at those words. He thought of million excuses, words to try to soothe her pain, but none of them felt real. None of them would be enough.

Heartbreak was a strange thing, she concluded. A pain so sudden, and so agonize that started right in the pit of her chest and then spread outward, like a disease until she felt pain from her head to her toes. She reached up to her throbbing temple, and slowly set the papers down on the bed. She heard him come up behind her. She didn't turn around. She couldn't bear to look at him right now. After everything she had given him, how she handed her heart right into his hands trusting him with it, and he just smashed it.

"Evelyn," he whispered. She didn't move, but her heart was pounding so loudly she feared he could hear it. "Evelyn, please look at me," he whispered into the darkness.

She shook her head, stubbornly. It took several seconds, several moments where she gulped in deep breath in a desperate attempt to ease the ache inside her chest. It felt like she had just been gutted or something equally as painful. She looked at him, her eyes slowly making their way to his face. He sucked in a breath when she looked at him. Sometimes when she would look at him, and Lucas felt as though she was seeing deep down inside him and that she knew all the things he had never said to anyone. Now, this time, she looked through him as if she really didn't see him at all. "Lucas…" She breathed out. "Is Lucas even your real name?"

Lucas licked his lips, desperately trying to squash down the feelings of guilt that arose for putting that pain inside of her gaze. "Is Evelyn even yours?" He countered, with a dark quirk of his lips.

"No, but that isn't my fault. I didn't have a choice in losing my name," Evelyn stated, a dazed tone to her voice as she kept her eyes away from him. She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to see into his eyes, and she didn't want him to see how badly he had hurt her. How badly she felt shaken inside, like she was going to fall at any given moment. "You created a very fine web. I mean really," she spoke, barely able to mask the hurt and pain within her trembling voice, "you should be applauded for it. You've weaved a web, tangling all sorts of people in it I bet. To keep yourself one step ahead, to keep yourself alive. It's probably one of the only reasons you are working with Fornell, isn't it?" She would punch the bastard the next time she saw him. When she had seen the FBI agent's name in that folder, she had been stunned. But it was nothing compared to the feeling that she felt when she realized that the only reason Lucas had started this relationship with her was to get information about Tarasov. She should have killed that damn Russian when she had the chance. "To keep yourself alive, no matter what the cost?"

His silence was a damning answer.

"And I was just a stupid fly that caught in your web," Evelyn gave a bitter laugh while running her finger tips over her mouth. She could still feel his lips there on hers, still taste him on her tongue and instead igniting the heat of passion, it ignited fury instead. "I've spent over half my life learning how to avoid spiders and I just let you…" Evelyn cut of with a violent shake of her head. Tears pooled in her eyes, and she valiantly tried to blink them away. Pain welled up in her throat, choking any more words and she pressed her knuckles to her lips.

"Don't." The order fell harshly from his lips. "Don't do that."

"What? Don't cry?" Evelyn looked at him, and could not muster up the energy to be angry. Her body was too consumed on pain, and betrayal to be anything else. "You've lied to me. You've humiliated me. You've made feel stupid, and ashamed, and like I'm worthless…you should be proud of yourself. You had me fooled really good. You truly are a good spy."

"I'm not a spy," Lucas shook his head. "Not anymore."

"Once a spy always a spy," Evie gave a shaky and bitter laugh. "I can't believe that I actually believed you," she said, her composure cracking. "I can't believe I actually thought…" She sniffed, her tears rolling down her cheeks and there was no stopping them now. "I can't believe I actually _trusted_ you."

"Evelyn," he breathed out. His heart lurched in his chest, and he knew the moment that he met her, that it had been a mistake. He let himself get in too deep, let her get beneath his skin. Let her get right to his heart, like the walls he had built up hadn't even existed and with her…they hadn't.

"I knew better!" She gave a hysterical laugh. "I knew better! I knew that trusting someone only ends badly, I knew that and still I fell…" Evelyn gave him a wounded and broken look. "I should have known better," she whispered out, her voice barely audible. It hurt to breath. It hurt to move. "Was any…any of it real? No, you know what?" She stopped him before he could even answer try to reply, because she wasn't sure she could handle his answer either way. "Don't answer that. For god's sake, don't answer that!"

Lucas looked down for a brief second, but ever a glutton for punishment he looked back at her face. It was a hard thing to see the pain in her face, it was even harder knowing that he put it there.

"I…am not working for Tarasov, or Reverent," Evie brushed her hair out of her face, and tried to find some kind of composure. She felt sick over the accusation, that anyone would ever think that she was capable of working with _those_ monsters. It was like a slap in the face. No, it was worse than that. Much more worse than that.

"Evelyn," Lucas breathed out.

"No," she pointed an accusing finger at him. "No. This is what you wanted, right? You wanted information? By any _means_ necessary? Even going as far to use me to do?" She gave him a look, one that was filled with so much anger and hate. She reached up to brush the angry tears away, fighting to stay strong while she looked in him straight in the eye. "You…you even thinking that I work with Tarasov is…" She shook her head side to side, a broken look on her face. "He is a monster. He is my _every_ nightmare. He hurt me in ways…I would rather kill myself than ever…"

Lucas watched as her voice faltered, and she cast her gaze upward. She looked so fragile, more fragile than he had ever seen her before and he had the resist the urge to go to her. To comfort her, but she would not welcome it. He ran a hand down his face, feeling like a drowning man who had lost all effort to swim to the surface. His blue eyes were locked on her face, watching as she fought to keep herself together.

"God, I just wanted to _trust_ you," Evelyn stated, her voice a bit hysterical as she felt like the last bits of sanity she had cracked inside her head. She had to get out of here. She had to get out of here now before everything inside her exploded. "I can't…" she said, shaking her head and backing slowly towards the door. "I can't stay here…"

"Evelyn…wait," Lucas reached out for her.

"Don't," she demanded, harshly and took a step away from him. She swayed clumsily on her feet as if her legs would give out from underneath her any second. "Don't touch me! After everything…you don't touch me…I would rather _die _than be stuck here with you." With that she slammed through the door and rushed out into the night. The chilled wind hit her, and attempted to cool the flush of betrayal that burned underneath her skin. She didn't know what to do, for a moment she just drowned in the swell of anger and hurt battering her heart. More tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped them away stubbornly.

Her heart felt broken, like someone had hollowed it out and just left it achingly empty. She faltered in her steps towards her, and she did not want to go there. Even being there was too close to him, so Evelyn got into her car. The keys still in the ignition and she pulled out her driveway so fast that her tires squealed.

She didn't know where she was going, but in that moment she didn't care.

* * *

Gibbs worked on his coat with the utmost care and attention. The familiar motions of molding and crafting the wood put him at ease, and let him think. Sometimes it offered him an escaped from it all. A brief reprieve from the world and all the chaos, just letting him be calm. A noise from the top of the steps made him pause, and he looked up with a frown. "Evelyn?" Gibbs blinked, surprised.

"Hey, boss," she gave him a shaky smile as she slowly descended the staircase, taking one step at a time. "Tony once told me that you always left the door unlocked and I…I didn't really have anywhere else to go," she admitted, looking down at her feet as she swallowed thickly.

Gibbs could see tear stains on her cheeks, and her eyes were red rim and puffy. She had been crying, and an anger lanced through him. Evelyn was not one to breakdown like this, not so easily. Something had hurt, and hurt her badly.

Evelyn folded in on herself when she reached the last step. She wrapped her arms around her midsection as her legs just sat in front of her, no longer did they have the strength to keep her upright. Her temple rested against the stair railing and she closed her eyes as a wave of fresh tears threatened to spill over. "All I want to do is scream," she said, cradling her head with her right hand. Gibbs slowly set down his tools, and walked over towards her. He took a seat beside her on the last stairs, and kept his silence letting her mull through her internal debt. He could see the struggle play out across her face, and helplessness hit him like a punch to the gut. He had always been good at giving advice, for helping pick his agents back up and brushing them off. He wasn't sure if Evelyn would let him help, even if he tried.

Evelyn wished she had never lost her memories, that her life hadn't turned out like this. It was like she was standing on the edge of a knife, and no matter which way she fell, she was going to get cut. "But I can't scream. I have to hold it all in and carry on because what else can I do? It just feels like no matter what I do…its just not going to be enough," she shook her head, a sad sort of resigned look on her face. "I see that now."

Gibbs stared at her for a long moment. "There are always going to be times when you feel you won't measure up. Times when your are lost, times when you are afraid," he told her, his voice quiet yet firm. "But you can't doubt yourself. We can't doubt that this is where we are meant to be, and what we are meant to be doing."

Evelyn looked at him, sorrow within her gaze. "Even if you wished it turned out different?" She asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Gibbs drew in a deep breath. "Even then."

Evelyn felt her bottom lip tremble, and she almost broke down. Almost unloaded everything that weighed down upon her shoulders, and she let out a long breath as her throat tightened painfully. "I am so sorry," she whispered out, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Her blue eyes looked around the basement sadly, and not even the fond memories of him treating her how to sand wood could even lift the mood. "I should have just…shown up like this."

Gibbs slapped her lightly on the back of the head. "Rule six, Matthews," he told her, the corner of his mouth quirking. "Now, come on. Let's get you set up with a place to sleep."

Evelyn walked him get up and head up the stairs. It took her a long moment to compose herself, before with a heavy heart she followed.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Hope you enjoy! :D**

**Next Chapter: **Lucas gives Fornell an ultimatum, while Evelyn considers telling Gibbs the truth when preparing for the worst, and a lethal threat lies in wait.

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	16. The Broken Canvas

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _**Burned Spy, DS2010, CandyHearts22, and Chantilly's Mom! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**No guest reviews at this time.**

**Inspired by the following songs:**

"Under" by Alex Hepburn

"Say Something" by Victoria Justice and Max (A Great Big World Cover)

"I Need You Love" by Madilyn Bailey and Jake Coco (Ellie Goulding Cover)

"Cruel One" by Alex Band feat. Chantal Kreviazuk and Emmy Rossum

"Just a Dream" by Sam Tsui and Christina Grimmie (Nelly Cover)

"Little White Lies" by Florrie

"Ready Aim Fire" by Imagine Dragons

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

"**The Broken Canvas"**

Evelyn woke up to the smell of coffee, and her brows wrinkled as she slowly peeled her eyes open to find herself sleeping on the couch of very familiar living room. It took her a moment to realize that this was indeed not a dream, and she was in her old childhood home. A cup appeared in her vision and she blinked at it for a moment before she managed to lift a hand to grasp it. "Thanks," she whispered out as she shifted so she was sitting up on the couch. She rubbed her blurry eyes that were still slightly sore from crying yesterday. She heaved a deep sigh, and looked down at the contents of the cup. It was hot chocolate, and her favorite drink now made her stomach turn.

Gibbs inclined his head before he sat down in the recliner. "You feeling alright, Evelyn?" He inquired, lightly. He saw a dullness that he had never seen in Evelyn's eyes before, a lack of light there.

Was she feeling alright? She couldn't quite feel anything in that moment, there was wall between her and what she was feeling. "I'm not sure," she said, her voice very quiet. "I'm feeling…numb more than anything else."

Gibbs tapped his finger against the rim of his coffee cup before he set it down on the table in front of him, and he clasped his hands in front of him. Peering at her for a long moment, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes…but I really don't know how," Evelyn whispered out, her hand trembled around the coffee cup. Airing her feelings had never been her strong suit, and her time in captivity had taught her to bottle things up even tighter. She knew no real good way of unleashing them, though the therapist had taught her several ways to try. However, Evelyn hadn't considered a roadblock like this and she really should have. She had let her want to be normal, to give into the growing feelings for Lucas that she had ignored all warning signs. She had ignored the way his muscles were always coiled, prepared for danger. She had ignored what his tattoo and prison time could have meant. She ignored all the signs, so that stood to reason that it was her fault that she got burnt.

"Everyone makes mistakes," Gibbs told her, as if knowing where her thoughts had just traveled. "Sometimes we do the wrong thing, make the wrong choice, or trust the wrong person. We are human…we are entitled to a few mistakes."

"That's the thing…I wish it hadn't been mistake," Evelyn said, with a sad smile on her face. She set the cup on the table, and ran her fingers through her hair. "I don't know what to do next. I don't what choice to make. I feel like I've hit a brick wall, a dead end with no way out because I can't go back."

"Then don't go back," Gibbs told her. "Break the brick wall."

Evelyn shot him a look out of the corner of her eye. "Have you ever tried breaking a brick wall? It's not easy," she sighed, tunneling her fingers through her hair. She stared hard at the coffee table, and idly wondered if it was really the same one from her childhood. The house hadn't changed much, except the pictures of her and her mom were missing as well as the ones of Gibbs's father.

"No, it's not. However, things worth fighting for seldom are," Gibbs told her, seriously. "The hard moments are going to come. When you are least ready for them, but you have to face them anyways."

Evelyn stared at him, her heart twisting inside her chest. His words had hit the nail right on the head, and she let out a deep shaky breath. Wrapping her arms around herself, she dropped her gaze away from his face as she could feel the truth bubbling up to the surface. There was a flicker of fear in her eyes, and she looked up at him through the guard of her lashes. There was a heaviness right in the center of her chest, and it was painful to say the least. "Gibbs…there is something I have to tell you," Evelyn said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I should have…said something a long time ago, but I think I was afraid. No, I know that I was afraid."

"What is it, Evelyn?" Gibbs asked, a frown on his face.

"I'm…" Evelyn began, but a sharp ring tore through the solemn moment utterly ruining it. Evelyn jumped back, half startled and Gibbs let out a huff, taking his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Gibbs," he answered, sharply. His eyes narrowed at whatever the other person on the end of the line relayed, and his expression pinched. A good minute went by until the phone call came to an end. "We're on our way," he snapped the phone shut with more force than necessary.

"What happened?" Evelyn asked, immediately sensing that something was very wrong.

"Ziva and Tony searched Dr. MacDonald's office. They found blank prescriptions forms, an entire stack of them have already been signed and stamped. Looks like the Doctor was giving someone all the drugs that he wanted. It appeared that like they are running a prescription drug scam together. The doctor is the supplier," Gibbs informed her. He got up off the chair, and went to go grab his jacket. "They also found methadone and alprazolam in his office," Gibbs stated, with a grimace.

"The same mixture that killed Commander Burnett," Evelyn noted, concerned. "Do we have any idea who Dr. MacDonald was dealing to?"

"A man named Deacon Hooper."

Evelyn's blood turned to ice in her veins, and she did a double take at Gibbs. "What did you just say?" Evelyn asked, her voice rough with shock and a pain that she couldn't hide.

Gibbs paused, and looked at her. "We are searching for Deacon Hooper," he said, his blue eyes narrowed as his head tilt to the side ever so slightly. "That name mean something to you, Matthews?"

Evelyn didn't answer right away.

_The rain pelted them as they rushed down the street towards the get away car. "Deacon! Hurry!" Evelyn urged him, hearing the gun fire too close to her. Her heart leapt into her throat as gunfire erupted from behind them. Her hand reached out, and grasped the door handle. She pulled the car door open with all her might, and threw herself into the vehicle. "Deacon…" She turned to look back out the door, and as Deacon reached for the car door, a loud crack echoed across the asphalt._

_Deacon's head snapped to the side, blood flew through the air and he dropped to the ground dead. _

"Evelyn," Gibbs's voice drew her out of the memory.

"Nothing. It means absolutely nothing," Evelyn said, a bit too quickly. Her heart shriveled up inside of her chest. Deacon Hooper had been a Cathedral operative just like her, and the pair of them had been betrayed. Deacon had been killed, and Evelyn had been captured. She struggled to smooth out her features, and she just shook her head side to side. "I thought it sounded familiar. Look, I have to stop by my house, and get a change of clothes," Evelyn told him, with a light wince. She wasn't looking forward to going back to the house, especially if Lucas was still there. She didn't want to see his face, to have all the pain to come to the surface again. "Then I will head that way."

Gibbs gave her a long look. He didn't quite believe her. The reaction she had to that name had been too genuine to deny, and his gut twisted at the thought that she was hiding something from him. "What were you going to tell me?" He questioned, a troubled frown on his face.

Evelyn hesitated. "Nothing. It's nothing that can't wait," Evelyn answer, honestly. Her eyes were downcast for a long moment before she raised them to meet his. "But I have to be, don't I?" She said, with a sad smile.

* * *

"Is there a reason you called me here?" Fornell barged into the house without so much as a knock. He blinked, mildly surprised to see Lucas sitting on his couch nursing a strong drink. "A bit early for drinking, isn't it?"

The look that Lucas gave him was a chilling one. "Evelyn Matthews knows that I work for you," he stated, his voice flat as he raised the glass in a mocking fashion. "Just thought I'd let you know."

Fornell let of a huff of surprise, and then narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "How did she find out?" He demanded, his hand running down his face. Just what they needed, more complications.

"She saw her dossier," Lucas commented, with a slight glare at the paper that were scattered across the floor. He had throw in it in a fit of anger after Evelyn had left, and he had left the papers where they had fallen for he had no desire to pick them up.

"And you just left it laying around?" Fornell sent him a dark look, before a realization dawned on him. "Ah. So I see. She let you in her pants, and you forgot everything else, is that it?"

"You need to shut you mouth, and now," Lucas stood up abruptly and turned on Fornell with a vicious snarl. The whiskey glass clutched in his hand with a knuckle white grip.

"Ah, so that is what really comes down to. Evelyn Matthews got scorned, and now won't even let you have the time of day because you were sent to spy on her. A bit hypocritical if you ask me," Fornell stated, flippantly.

"You know nothing of what you talk about," Lucas said, roughly. He threw his head back as he down the rest of his whiskey and he savored the fiery burn that went down his throat. For the briefest of moment, it burned away his guilt then a heartbeat later the guilt was back resting upon his shoulders heavier than before. "She trusted me! She trusted me with all that she was and I broke her! I've killed her on the inside, and I can see it. There is a hollowness to her that wasn't there before…she had a light in her eyes and because of me…" He trailed off in his drunken rant, and ran a hand through his raven locks before fixating a dark glower upon Fornell. "You promised me sanctuary. You promised me freedom for the information that I've delivered you and you have given me nothing, but a leash! A leash so I can be at your beck and call but it ends here."

"Is that so?" Fornell questioned, lightly.

"It is," Lucas stated, certainly. He rose to his full height and towered over the other man. The tension in the room skyrocketed to new heights and practically crackled in the air. "I have given you mountain stacks of information, and I can give you more, but this will no longer be on your terms. They will be on mine, or I will use every valuable contact that I have gained in the FBI's service and go elsewhere."

"Like?" Fornell's eyes narrowed.

"Like…the CIA? Homeland? I'm sure I can find a better reprieve working for one of them," Lucas brokered with a dark, smug smirk on his face.

"Look…I get why you are pissed. If I was in your position, I would be to, but this out of my hands, North," Fornell told him, plainly. "I have superiors to report to and they are the ones holding the strings."

"Then cut them!" Lucas snapped. "Evelyn Matthews is innocent in all of this," he told him, firmly. Inside a part of him always knew that she was. A part of him could see that she had been hurt and wounded, and if he had just let his suspicions go for one moment, he would have seen that she suffered through the same things that he had gone through. That she had been left at the mercy of monster, a monster that took glee in breaking her.

"And which brain were you thinking with when you came to that conclusion? The one in your head, or the one below the belt?" Fornell drawled out, dryly. Lucas gave him a murderous glower, and Fornell held up his hands in a silent surrender.

"I will go _elsewhere_," Lucas stated, his voice taut with an icy rage that he barely held in check. He didn't know who he hated more in this moment. Fornell, or himself. "This is not a bluff."

Fornell stared at him for a long moment without saying anything. He let out a deep sigh, and just shook his head lightly. "I can see that," he stated, turned towards the door to leave.

"Oh…and Fornell?" Lucas called out.

Fornell halted in the doorway with a heavy sigh, before he craned his head over his shoulder and raised an inquiring eyebrow.

"You leave Evelyn alone."

"What?" Fornell balked in surprise.

"If you want to ensure my cooperation, you leave Evelyn alone and you make sure that none of your colleagues come sniffing around either. She was a victim of Tarasov's," Lucas's eyes blazing into Fornell and he straightened his spine until he stood at his full height. "I'll be damned before I let you treat her like a villain," Lucas spat out, viciously.

Fornell gave him a look. "You forget that you already are? Damned, I mean," He said, a bit mockingly.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Either way, I'm not going to let you drag her down with me," he stated, firmly and gave Fornell a look. And if looks could kill, Fornell would have been a pile of ash.

"No. You want to do that all on your own," Fornell stated, then he tilted his head in consideration. "Fine. I'll see what I can do, but not everyone is going to be happy. But we'll do this your way…for now," he added, and walked out the door.

Lucas clenched the glass tightly in his hand, his heart pounding inside his ribcage madly. His chest rose and fall sharply as his pupils turned into pinpoints before he twisted around, tossing it against the wall. It shattered, and broken glass fell like a staccato against the floor.

He took a deep breath, running his hands down his face when he heard the noise of a car driving up the driveway. Lucas raised his head, and walked over to the window. Pulling back the curtain, a jolt of surprise rushed through him when he saw Evelyn get out of her car.

* * *

Evelyn walked into her house, quietly.

There was a tight knot in her throat as she walked through the rooms in silence, and her arms wrapped around herself. With a mulish pace, she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom and walked across the threshold with a heavy sigh. There was a sense of unease that hung in the air now, one that couldn't be dispelled. Evelyn blinked her eyes a few times, before she walked over the dresser. She pulled out her white sweater, and a pair of jeans. She turned to go to the bathroom when she hit something with her foot.

The canvas fell onto the floor, and Evelyn just froze. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she stared down at the portrait she had made of Lucas. It was close to being finished. Just a few coats of paint here and there, it would have been complete. It was probably the best painting she had ever painted, she had captured Lucas very well. His sharp profile with his hawk like nose, and strong jaw. The way the light reflected in his eyes, and the sight of the painting made Evelyn ill.

Her fingers shook, and she dropped her clothes to the ground. She slowly knelt down beside the portrait, her finger grasping the edges of the canvas as her heart squeezed tightly in her chest. She had completely trusted in him. Let him see her at her most vulnerable and had been more honest with him than she had been with anyone else.

Evelyn felt her pain twist into white hot anger, and the next thing she knew was that she was lifting the canvas into the air then brought it down with all the force she could muster right onto her dresser. She slammed it over and over again, until the canvas ripped and broken into pieces, that she let them fall to the floor. She stepped back, staring at the mess on the ground before a shudder ran through her. She pressed the back of her hand against her mouth, a sob shook through her and she angrily wiped her face with her sleeve as bitter tears ran down her eyes. Swallowing painfully, Evelyn grabbed her clothes off of the floor and marched off to her bathroom.

Changing her clothes, she ran a brush through her hair getting rid of all the knots and tangles before she carefully applied makeup to hide the fact that she had been crying and the lack of sleep. She stared hard at her reflection for a long moment, and no amount of make up could hide the hollow look in her eyes. Raking her tongue against the back of her teeth, she turned away from the mirror. She made her way out of her room, only sparing one glance down at the broken canvas before she walked past it.

She grabbed her jacket, and purse on the way out of the door. Shutting the door behind him, Evelyn stepped onto the porch and began to slip on her jacket, when she froze. Every muscle in her body seized, and she could feel his stare on her. Her stomach twisted into a million knots, and she hated that he had such an effect on her. Slowly, she raised her head and saw him standing out on his porch. He was leaning against one of the posts, his posture deceptively languid. His expression was everything, but. His blue eyes stared at her unblinkingly, the look in them indecipherable as he dragged his thumb across his bottom lip.

Evelyn swallowed harshly, then pulled her jacket the rest or the way on. Straightening the collar, she ducked her head down and headed towards her car. Her heart was beating madly inside of her chest, and she didn't need to hear his footsteps to know that he made his way towards. She clenched her eyes closed, and when she felt him too close she twisted around to face him. "Lucas, don't," she told him, when he was right behind her. She had meant to sound firm, and stern. Instead her voice came soft and shaken.

He reached for her hands. "Evelyn, I'm sorry."

"Don't," she pulled back. She didn't want any false hopes or false promises. She didn't want to see the look in his eyes. "Don't apologize. I don't want to hear apologies. I just…I just want you to leave me alone."

"I don't believe that," Lucas told her, firmly. "I know that I hurt you. I know that and I am _sorry_, but please do not walk away from me." He was trying to pull himself back just a bit before trying touching her again. He prided himself on having control in all areas of his life, but she crushed that illusion in her small hand. It was probably a good thing she did not know how much power she had over him.

"Have you been _drinking_?" Evelyn said, reeling back. She smelt the liquor on his breath, but the lucidity in his eyes showed that he was far from drunk.

"Quite a bit," Lucas admitted, readily.

Was he drinking because he was upset over her? Or over his screw up? Evelyn shoved the thoughts firmly out of her mind, because she didn't _want_ to care. "Lucas, I…" she just shook her head side to side. "Just…"

"Evelyn, don't walk away," Lucas said, gruffly. There was plea in his eyes, but she would not meet them. He reached out to grasp her arm, and his fingers brushed her wrist. "There is something real between us. It doesn't matter why it started, it…we can't let it go. I don't want to let it go."

She drew in a low breath, she brushed her hair out of her face as she finally looked at him. Her eyes were large and wounded. "I didn't want you to be a lie, either," Evelyn shot back, her voice rough and she pulled her wrist away. "I don't even know who you are anymore."

Lucas tried to grab her arm. "That's not true. You know better than anyone in my entire life has ever known me," he told her, and he was startled when he realized that it was completely true. He had not been a spy, or an agent when her. He had been a man, a simple man and he wanted nothing more than for her to see him that way again.

"It is true." Evelyn just shook her head at him. "I've just been too stupid to realize it," she opened the car door with more force than necessary and got into the car before he could say something that changed her mind. Pulling the door closed, she locked it and sat there for several moments, staring forward. Her grip of the steering wheel was knuckle white, and she was trying to hold it together.

Lucas pressed the palm of his hands against the window, staring desperately into the tinted glass to see a glimpse of her. He could barely make her out, and he could have sworn he saw look at him then the car engine started. He stepped back when the tires spun, and he watched with a heavy heart as she drove away.

* * *

The drive to NCIS did nothing to soothe Evelyn's frayed nerves. Not only did thoughts of Lucas plague her mind, the thoughts of Reverent were not far behind. If anything, her worries only increased. She took the stairs this morning instead of the elevator to buy her some time to work out just exactly she was going to do. The truth would be best, but it would break the trust she had with the team and more importantly with her father. Perhaps if she spoke to Gibbs by himself, perhaps that would be better. She stepped onto the main floor when the hair on the back of her neck stood on end and she hear a voice from behind her. "Agent Matthews, you have a moment?"

Evelyn paused for a moment, her hands clenched into fists. With a deep cleansing breath, she twisted around to face Agent Fornell. "Agent Fornell," Evelyn leveled a look at him and raised a haughty brow. Anger ripped through her, and she wanted nothing more than to launch herself at the older man with a battle cry and beat him until he was black and blue. "I owe you a punch to the face."

Fornell smirked ever so slightly. "I might deserve it," he stated, a faint trace of amusement in his gaze. The agent beside him cleared his throat, and Fornell rolled his eyes. "Agent Matthews, this is Agent Taggert-"

"Formalities mean nothing here, Fornell," Taggert stated, sourly. He glared at Evelyn as if she had done him some personal injustice she wasn't aware of, and his hands were folded behind the back. "We need to have a few words with you, Agent Matthews."

Something in his voice immediately set Evelyn on edge, and she eyed him from head to toe then looked over at Fornell who looked resigned. "Why am beginning to believe that I really don't have a choice in this matter?" She stated, quietly.

"Because you don't," Taggert stated, flatly.

Evelyn swallowed thickly, a cold sweat broke out on the nape of her neck. She forced down any sign of unease, and gave him a tight smile. "Lead the way," she gestured, airily and followed the two FBI agents. She glanced over her shoulder at the team, but they were none the wiser.

* * *

"McGee any luck on finding that symbol?" Gibbs asked, staring at the photo on the screen through narrowed eyes. He turned around to look at McGee who was hunched over his desk, his finger clicking away at the keyboard.

"Nothing yet, Boss," McGee told him. "I did, however, found Deacon Hooper. There is a mention of him in an obituary, dated February 7th, 2006. He was apparently killed in a random drive by in Dankov. A small town in the Lipetsk Oblast, Russia."

"Russia?" Tony blinked. "We are dealing with Russains now?"

"Looks like," Gibbs sighed, heavily. "McGee continue to search for that symbol. Ziva, Tony, I want you to figure out why someone is using a dead man's name."

"Where are you going, Boss?" Tony called out when Gibbs headed towards the elevator.

"Out of coffee," Gibbs replied, shortly. In truth, he was going to call Fornell and see if the other man could use his contacts to learn more about Deacon Hooper. He walked over to the elevator, and hit the button. He pulled back and waited patiently when he noted that Evelyn was not here yet. He glanced around to see if he could catch a glimpse of her when the elevator doors pulled open and Gibbs's expression darkened. "What the hell are you doing here?" Gibbs demanded.

Lucas North just sighed.

* * *

The light above buzzed noisily, and was too bright.

Evelyn sat stiffly in the metal chair, opposite of Fornell and his buddy with her hands folded upon the table in a deceptively calm way. Her brows rose up towards her hairline as Fornell shut the door, and she felt a rush of panic flood through her at how small the space suddenly felt. Swallowing thickly, she asked with a fake smile, "Since when do the FBI need to use NCIS interrogations rooms? Does the Director even know that you are here, Agent Fornell?"

"Defensive, are we?" Taggert was the one to answer.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Evelyn sent him a look. "You have given me not indication what this is about, and you lead me into an interrogation room. Don't I have a right to be wary?"

Fornell had to smile at the lip she just sent Taggert's way. He couldn't stand the other agent, but his superiors put him in lead on the case thinking he would be more productive. The man immediately wanted to bring Evelyn in, but it was only Fornell's quick thinking that held him back. He, however, could not dissuade him from wanting to interrogate Evelyn. "The Director knows we are here," he stated, with a roll of his shoulder. "She knows that we have an interest in you."

"And you didn't bother clarifying what kind of interest, did you? Probably let her believe that it was for some job," Evelyn smiled, thinly.

"We just have a few questions," Fornell said. "That's all."

"It's never that simple," she commented, when Taggert walked around the table. She felt his hand land on the back of her seat and he shoved the chair forward harshly. The metal legs of the chair scrapped against the floor, loudly. Taggert was leaning over her shoulder, crowding her, invading her space and it raked on every nerve in her body. There was something in his eyes, a dark look and she immediately knew that this man was _not_ a good man. She wanted nothing more to get up and move around to the other side of the table. To put distance between her and him. However, it would reveal a telling chip in her armor that she would not allow to happen. "What do you mean?" She asked, quietly.

"I mean," Fornell flipped over the file in front of her, and Evelyn forgot how to breath as she stared down at the photo of the man who tormented her every night in her nightmare, "I want you, an NCIS agent, to explain what is your connection to Tarasov?"

_Deep breaths sweetie, _her mother's voice encouraged her as Evelyn's eyes stared down at the picture of the smug bastard with his half smirk and expensive, designer suit. A cold sweat broke out along her skin for several different reasons, but most of all was looking at Tarasov. She had idly wondered what the sight of him would do to her, even if it was a picture. The fear came back to life, so sharp and vivid as if she were afraid he were going to come out of the picture and hurt her. She drew in a deep breath to calm herself, but it was hard to get air when there was emotions that clogged her throat. Her nails bit into the palms of her hands and she drew in a shaky breath. "I do not know what you mean," she said, her voice barely more than a raspy whisper. "I don't know this man. Haven't seen him in my entire life."

Taggert slammed his palm against the metal table startling her. "Don't screw with us," Taggert snapped, violently. "We know that you mean something to Tarasov. He carries your picture."

* * *

"I'm here to see Evelyn," Lucas glared, his eyes narrowed on Gibbs who stared back with a steel, blue gaze.

Gibbs's lips curled at the ends, but it was not a true smile. It was something cold, and vicious. "Did it make you feel good? To make her cry? To take all that she gave you and throw it back in her face?" Gibbs said, his voice deceptively calm. He had suspected this man to be at the root of all of Evelyn's pain, and the brief glimmer of guilt that flashed across the other man's face reinforced his suspicions.

"That is _not_ what happened," Lucas said, his voice cold. "And I will not explain myself to you. The only one that deserve that from me is Evelyn. Now where is she?" He demanded, his eyes narrowed into slits.

Gibbs shook his head slowly, the full measure of his anger burning in his gaze. "You owe her a helluva a lot more than an explanation, because she let you get away with breaking her heart because you were helping her piece herself back together. She might think that excuses it on some level, but it doesn't and if you think I'm going to tell you where she is then you are a lot more of a fool than I thought you were," Gibbs told him, his voice harsh and unkind. He had seen Evelyn get brighter and brighter with each passing day. He had seen the shadows that had been so great when she first joined ebb away, but he had seen them back again when she came down his basement stairs. The shadows were back worse than before.

Lucas didn't blink, he didn't even move save for the curling of his hands into fists. His blue eyes stared straight at Gibbs, blazing darkly. "You don't think I know that? You don't think I have seen the damage that I have done? You don't think I know that she deserves better from me?" Lucas raked a hand down his face aggravation seeping from every pore. He didn't have time to mince words here, and he wasn't sure Evelyn had the time. "Look, I have to find Evelyn and it is not just so I can make amends."

Gibbs's eyebrow rose. "Oh? And what other business do you have with her?" He asked, haughtily.

"Protecting her," Lucas snapped. "Now, where is she?"

"Protecting her?" Tony looked at him, sharply. "Protecting her from what?"

"I work for the FBI, on cases that they don't want to get caught handling officially. Evelyn was a victim of one of those cases, but the FBI believe differently and are going to try and charge her with a crime she is innocent of."

"What?" Gibbs barked out. His expression livid.

"Where is Evelyn?" Lucas asked again.

* * *

All the color drained out of her face. "He _what_?" She croaked out, terror slamming against her heart like a hammer. Tarasov carried her picture? Panic build at the base of her skull like a knot and her scalp prickled with the telltale signs of fear. She felt the pounding in her chest, could hear a scream echoing inside her mind reverberating through her entire soul.

"Apparently, he is quite hung up over you," Fornell stated, with a nonchalantly roll of his shoulders. The more he watched her, he got the nagging feeling that North was right about her. However, with Taggert as lead on this now there was little Fornell could do until Taggert stepped a toe out of line.

Taggert gave her a long look. "Yeah, it's real sweet. Tell me, how does it feel to be involved with a murdering rapist?" He asked.

Fornell stiffened, a frown on his face.

Evelyn's face twisted in disgusted and it took everything in her to keep her lunch down. "You are disgusting," she told him, harshly. She had never had an issue with Fornell before other than the fact that he was very snooty, but she was going to if he didn't reign this bastard in.

"I'm disgusting? You are the one involved with a rapist," Taggert stated, his eyebrow arched. "Or perhaps that's why you were with him."

"Shut your _fucking _mouth," Evelyn snarled. Her stomach turned violently, and she was beyond niceties with this Agent Taggert. If that bastard thought that he corner her like some caged animal, he was in for a rude awaken.

"Perhaps that's what gets you off," Taggert added, with a dark smirk. "Perhaps you like it."

A noise ripped out of Evelyn's mouth. An outrage and horrified scream that held an untold amount of pain in it before she launched herself out of her seat. She wanted to make him shut up, to claw out his eyes, to do something to him, but arms wrapped around her middle pulling her back. "You bastard," she positively roared. "You sick bastard! How dare you?" She beat on the steel arms around her waist, but Gibbs held tight as he hauled her out the door.

Lucas shut the door, blocking Evelyn and Gibbs from Fornell and Taggert's view. "I told you, Fornell," he said, his voice flat and the look in his eyes lethal.

"I tried," Fornell told him, with a heavy sigh.

"Not hard enough," Lucas spat.

* * *

Evelyn tried to go for the door again, but Gibbs shoved her back. "Evelyn. Evelyn!" He nearly shouted to get her attention, and when her eyes snapped to his, he saw all the pain and despair shining there. There was a wild, and wounded look on her face as she shifted from foot to foot like a caged animal about to make a break for it. "Evelyn," Gibbs said her name one more time, and he watched her expression fall slightly.

"He…he said…" Evelyn fought for words. Her emotions choked her, and she ran her fingers through her hair. "How could h-he say that?"

"What did he say Evelyn?" Gibbs prodded, his voice quiet. His hands rested on her shoulders, serving as anchor for the trembling woman. He had no idea what Fornell or the FBI was playing at, but he was going to make them pay for putting such a haunt look on Evelyn's face.

"He said that I…" She shook her head. Her face was red from all the tears that she valiantly tried to fight back. "I would never be _like _that. Tarasov…I hate him, Gibbs. I _hate_ him. He hurt me, and I didn't want him to hurt me. I didn't want it! It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault," she looked at Gibbs, her expression pleading with him to understand.

Gibbs did the only thing he could do in that moment and pulled her into his arms. He held her tight as she dissolved into heaving sobs. She was shaking like a leaf in autumn, just barely clinging to the tree branch. "It's going to be okay," he whispered out, running his hands through her hair soothingly. "It's going to be okay. I promise."

Over Evelyn's shoulder, he watched Lucas walked out of the interrogation room. His face twisted in anger and bitterness, but that all fell away when he saw Evelyn there. He looked at her like a man who had lost his heart, which Gibbs thought he rightly deserved.

Evelyn pulled back from Gibbs, and wiped her face with her sleeves when she noticed Lucas out of the corner of her eye. She twisted to face him, and drew in a sharp breath. "What the hell are you doing here?" Her voice was raw from her screams. "Are you here…with them?" She couldn't keep the sound of betrayal out of her voice.

"No," Lucas gave a sharp shake of his head. "No, I'm not."

"He's not," Gibbs stated, reluctantly.

Evelyn's brows furrowed, and she swallowed thickly. She wasn't sure what to make of that, but she knew she was relieved. It dulled the pain to ache inside of her chest, and she turned her face away to hide her face behind the curtain of her hair.

"Evelyn…who is Tarasov?" Gibbs had to ask. He hated to ask it, especially right now when stood there trembling like a leaf.

Evelyn flinched back at the sound of his name.

Lucas answered. "A monster," he said, his mouth a thin grim line. "He is the worst kind of monster. He works with the Russian mob, several different terrorist cells, human trafficking, you name it and he has done it."

"Why do they that you were involved with him?" Gibbs didn't spare Lucas a glance. His gaze was solely focused on Evelyn, and he stared down at her trying to gauge her reaction.

Horror. Pain. Sadness. Rage. Evelyn closed her eyes and tried to take deep, cleansing breaths. It didn't work. The panic and the horror that tore through her with no remorse. "I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry, I just can't. I never wanted my life to touch you, either of you. I only wanted you safe," she babbled, then in the next moment she ran before either man had a chance to say anything. She sprinted as fast as she could, and dodged around the people working.

She needed out of here. She needed somewhere she could breath. She needed to get outside where the fresh air was, then maybe she could think. Evelyn shoved through the door that lead to the outside, and she ran down the stairs only stopping when she had the grass beneath her feet. She craned her head back, and stared up at the crystal blue sky trying to work through everything inside of her head. She took deep gulps of air, running her fingers through her hair as everyone continued about there day around her. They were like ants, the way they scurried about and Evelyn felt like an ant who had been squished underneath a boot.

The world was startling still, but she swore she could feel it move beneath her feet. A spinning sensation inside her head, and she stood there just feeling the wind her sweaty skin. She tugged at the collar of her shirt when the hair on the back of her neck rose. She stiffened her spine, and brought her eyes down from sky to look around her. Her eyes swept across the crowd of people, agents and visitors alike when she saw him. He stood still as a statue in a tan suit, his brown hair slicked back and with such a dark expression on his face that was directed straight at her. Evelyn blinked and took a step back, her brows knotted in confusion because she didn't recognize the man at all.

"Evelyn!"

She made the mistake and took her eyes off the man. The next thing she knew when her eyes landed on Gibbs and Lucas who were both rushing towards her a burning pain pierced through her shoulder as something sliced into her. She let out a yelp of pain, lurching forward drunkenly and whirled around to see the man who had been staring at her, slash a knife at her. She stumbled backwards to dodge the blade, but the man kept coming.

She held up her arms in an attempt to defend herself. The attack was so sudden, so expected that her defense did little to actually protect her. There were shouts of alarm from all around, and when she went to block his attack, he twisted the blade and plunged right into her stomach. Over and over again. It was such a shocking pain, and Evelyn lost all the air in lungs. She rushed backward, pulling herself free from the blade and fell the ground.

Her heart beat was loud, thunderous in her ears as the world around her began to blur. She saw the man stand above her, with the knife ready to finish the job. He never got the chance because as he swung the knife down, Lucas was on him. He grabbed the man's arm, and twisted harshly, plunging the knife straight into the attacker's chest. Lucas threw the man away from him, before he crumbled to his knees beside Evelyn.

Gibbs stripped off his jacket, while barking at someone to call for help. He handed the jacket over to Lucas and the both of them tried to apply pressure to the wounds. "Evelyn," Lucas whispered out, fear beating within his heart. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. Not to his Evelyn. "Hey, hey," he gently touched the tip of her chin, "Evelyn, don't close your eyes. Don't close them. Keep them open for me, baby. Just look at me, and keep your eyes focused on us, alright?"

Evelyn tried to answer, but it came out as a choked gurgle. "Shh, shh, easy," Gibbs ran his hand through her hair. He could see the shock and pain on her face. His heart clenched in his chest at the sight of blood, and he pressed down a little harder on the wound. "Easy. Help is on the way. You're going to be okay, Evelyn. You hear me, you _are_ going to be okay."

Evelyn's blue eyes flickered from Lucas to Gibbs, so much she wanted to say on her lips then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she slumped on the ground.

"Evelyn?" Lucas nearly shouted. His bloody hands grasping at her face. She did not stir, or move. "Evelyn!"

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**NEXT CHAPTER: **Evelyn's life hangs in the balance, and the truth is out.

**Rrs are appreciated. :D**


	17. Just Breathe

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, 1956JohnDeere50, Burned Spy, CandyHearts22, and redhouseclan_**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**No guest reviews at this time.**

**Inspired by the following songs:**

"Quote" by Evans Blue

"It Ends Tonight" by All American Rejects

"How To Save a Life" by the Fray

**This chapter has been heavily inspired by "Safe Harbor" by Christine Feehan. She is amazing writer, and I hope one day to be as successful as she is.**

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

"**Just Breathe"**

* * *

Lucas had never been a praying man.

Not even when he went to church, and his father gave sermons. He stared blindly down at his hands coated in dry blood, the noise of the busy hospital dull to his ears as if very far away. He was awash in a sea of emotions from numbness to feeling lost to a rage so potent that it honestly scared him. He had not said a word since they wheeled Evelyn through those swinging doors and into surgery. He bit the side of his cheek harshly, afraid that if he opened his mouth then his anger would burst free and consume everything around him.

He pressed his hands together, entwining his fingers so tightly that his knuckles went white. There was a steady beat inside his ears like the drums of war, and he bowed his head in a silent prayer. _Evelyn, _he nearly chocked on her name. _Don't you leave me. Don't you dare._

From the moment he had met her, something inside of him changed. From that moment she'd been a part of him that was as vital as his heart. He wanted to be worthy of her, even though he'd known that was impossible. No one would be. A person like him that spent so long in the shadows had no place in the light of her world, but he wanted it more than anything.

"They're doing everything they can," Gibbs stated, though he knew the reassurance fell upon deaf ears. Lucas knew, as he did, that whoever had done this hadn't simply meant to hurt Evelyn. They had wanted to destroy her, and with the attacker dead they had no idea of what his motives were.

"Why would someone do that to her?" Abby asked, her voice raw with grief. Tony wrapped his arms around her, and held her tightly as if to absorb some of the unrelentingly sorrow. Ziva was leaning against the wall while McGee sat silently in the chair.

Gibbs looked at the man across of him.

Lucas was shaken—raw grief etched deep into his face. He sat with his hands clasped, and his spine stiffly straight. He had killed Evelyn's attacker so easily, so fast that Gibbs had barely seen it. It had been quick and practiced, Gibbs knew that the other man had experience with death before. Lucas North was a real puzzle, and he had tried to dig up information on him only to be stonewalled each time. It left Gibbs with a bad taste in his mouth, but that wasn't important right this second. What was important was Evelyn being okay.

Gibbs had to force his mind to think. It was the only way to stay sane until the doctors came back.

"Do you think the attacker acted alone?" Ziva glanced sharply at Gibbs. "Do you feel the threat is over? Do you think that it is now safe?"

Gibbs felt the shock go through his team at that question, and he honestly wished he had some way of reassuring them. He couldn't thought. He couldn't get the image of Evelyn's shocked face twist into horror as the knife plunged into her stomach over and over gain. The air caught tight in Gibbs's lungs, it burned as hot as fire. He had faced bullets and death too many times than he could count, and there were few things in this world that could truly scare him.

This right now was one of those few things. After all he had been through he hadn't believed there could be anymore pain, more anger, but he was proven wrong. He just hated feeling so damn helplessly. He cleared his throat and tried to pull himself together. "It's impossible to tell. Not until we get more information. Who her attacker was, did he have a reason to attack her? Or was she simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?" Gibbs ran a wary hand down his face.

McGee swallowed thickly. "I…I can head back to NCIS. Get a search started," he offered, his face very pale. "I'm…I'm really no use here."

Gibbs heaved a long sigh. "Go," he commented, softly.

"I'll go with him," Ziva offered.

"Me, too," Abby shuddered, a bit unsteady on her feet. "Maybe I can help go over the evidence. Help find something," she breathed out, wiping her the ruined mascara from her cheeks.

"We'll call you as soon as we hear anything," Tony promised, his face unusually grim. His hands were clenched in two tight fists at his sides, and a deep frown on his face. The trio departed reluctantly, leaving Gibbs to further stew in his thoughts. "I'm going to go ask the nurses if they know anything," Tony clasped Gibbs on the shoulder, a quick comforting gesture before he walked over to the Nurses Station.

Lucas felt broken, unable to stop grieving for Evelyn. He kept his expression blank, and lifeless because he did not wish for anyone else see him so torn up, to see the depth of his feelings for Evelyn. He needed Evelyn to be alright just as he much needed air to breath. She had been so pale, and so fragile looking as the paramedics lifted her into the ambulance. Gibbs and Lucas rode along even though it was against protocol to allow two people ride along, but the other man had glared the paramedics into submission.

The other man looked exhausted, like he been scraped raw and was one step from being exposed for everyone to see. Lucas idly wondered if he had the same expression on his face. He took deep and even breaths, trying to find someway to stop the tremor running throughout his entire body. His heart hurt in a way that he never thought possible. How many times had he seen death? There had been pain then to, but Evelyn had taken it all away.

Evelyn couldn't take this away—not ever. His nightmares would be filled with blood, Evelyn's blood as she was stabbed by a man with a vicious, determined look on his face. He will never forget for a moment that he completely froze, watching as that bastard attempted to carve her into pieces. Letting out a shaky breath, Lucas didn't know what would happened if she died. What the hell did he really have without her? He didn't know, he honestly didn't know.

_What is it with me and the people that I love? _Lucas heaved a deep sigh. He sat up straighter when Agent DiNozzo returned.

"Is she alive?" Gibbs demanded.

Tony nodded. "She's just transported to into recovery. She's in critical condition and very weak. That's all they would tell me, even when I flashed my badge," he stated, warily.

Lucas didn't allow relief to flood through him. He wanted to so much, but he knew that the battle was far from over. Wounds like that were tricky at best, and his stomach twisted into knots.

"Good. That's good," Gibbs commented, quietly. Lines were etched deep in his face from the strain of worry, and he ran a hand through his hair. There was gray tinge to his skin, and a tremble of exhaustion that ran through him.

"She said your name."

"What?" Lucas blinked.

"She said your name," Tony glanced over at the man. "The nurse said when they were rolling her into recovery, she kept saying Lucas. Quite a feat for someone under as much medication as she must be."

Lucas's heart clenched, a painful constriction that nearly left him without. She had called for him. Needed him—and he couldn't be for her right now. He swallowed hard and pushed away grief that threatened to swallow him whole. "Have they given you any indication how long this could take?"

Gibbs looked directly at him, his eyes flickering.

"No." Tony stated. "She lost a lot of blood, and they had to keep a close watch on her until she is out of the woods."

Gibbs clenched his jaw before he released a heavy sigh. Evelyn wouldn't go away, she was stubborn enough to get through this.

* * *

Back at NCIS, the air was somber and tense.

The attack had sent shockwaves through the entire building because the man had gotten through security and into a place that was supposed to be safe from such attacks. Many had given the team their sympathies, and even the Director was on the main floor, keeping an eye on things.

"Do you have leads?" Jenny asked Ziva.

Ziva and McGee shared a look because technically they weren't supposed to be working on this case. They were "too close" and "too emotional" to be rational. Perhaps they were, but that never stopped them before.

"I'm not here as the Director right now," Jenny informed them, with a patience yet strained smile.

"The attacker is a man named Alejandro Rivera," McGee informed her after a nod from Ziva. "He was on his way to becoming an official in the Mexican Department of Justice when abruptly quit three months ago."

"He simply vanished," Ziva said, her brows knotted together. "Then out of nowhere three days ago, he showed up getting off at an airport. He has been staying at a hotel that is just two miles from NCIS headquarters."

"So we can safely assume that this wasn't some random attack. He purposefully chose to attack NCIS," Jenny stated, grimly.

"Or his main target was Evelyn," McGee said.

"Neither one is a comforting thought," Ziva sighed, looking down at all the paperwork on the desk. She felt as if there was something they were missing, a big red flag that was wagging in front of their faces.

McGee was going through several search, all time consuming and the wait was most grating on his nerve. His lips were pulled down into a deep frown, and he tapped his fingers against the keyboard in an aggravated manner. Then suddenly something popped upon the screen, and his head jerked up. "Uh…I think I found something," he said, outloud.

"What McGee?" Jenny turned to him with a concerned look.

"Alejandro Rivera apparently has a sister."

* * *

They finally let one of them go into the room.

Gibbs had given Lucas a look of death, which while the other man relented he knew it had little to do with his glare and more with the self inflicted guilt the other man was hefting upon himself. Gibbs may have flashed his badge, and made some underhanded threats as well to be able to get in the room. He walked through that doorway and he had no way of preparing for the sight of Evelyn lying prone in that hospital bed. A single sheet covered body, so neatly tucked in at her sides. Beneath it she looked so thin and small, not all like the imposing woman he knew she could be if the occasion called for it.

His heart clenched so hard it felt like it was in a vise—an actual physical pain—and he sank into the chair beside the bed. Her arms had been wrapped up tight like a mummy's, where she had tried to defend herself from her attacker. The attack had been brutal and he knew in his heart that the man hadn't intended for Evelyn to survive. His throat burned raw, his stomach twisted into a giant knot. He reached out, his fingers brushing her tiny hand and he had seen victims before in this condition.

He was totally unprepared to see Evelyn this way.

Gibbs swallowed thickly, and he slid the palm of his hand under hers. He gaze a light squeeze, being as gentle as he could to let her know in some way that he was here.

The warmth of her skin was the only proof that she was alive. Her breath was too shallow to be normal, even with the ventilator. Was it random attack? Or had someone wanted to hurt her? The sound of the machines answered him. Her heart was still beating, a steady beep from the monitor. The doctor has told him that she had been lucky. That there had been only minor internal damage, but a severe amount of blood was lost. The doctor cautioned him that this could lead to brain damage, and Gibbs felt a feeling of despair wash over him.

"How is she?" Lucas stood the doorway. He was hesitant to cross the threshold, to enter that room that felt as sacred as a holy place in that moment.

"Her vitals are stable," Gibbs said, shortly. "The doctors are hopeful."

Lucas gave a silent nod, and took a step forward. He didn't blink, and didn't say a word. He merely stared down at Evelyn with a terrible longing on his face, and his hand held a tremor as if he wished to reach out and touch her. He didn't though. He just stood there as still as a statue, and Gibbs stared at the other man with a deep frown upon his face. He didn't want Lucas North anywhere near Evelyn, but he was not that much of a bastard to kick the man out. Not when he knew the pain the other man was going through. He shook his head lightly, and his eyes fell upon Evelyn's tiny hand in his.

_Come on, kid, _he urged silently. _You are stronger than this. You have to pull through. You hear me, Evelyn? You cannot die. Not like this. _He fingers tightened around hers, and he wished he could give her some of his strength to help pull her through. He closed his eyes in mute frustration when he heard his cellphone ring. He reached into his pocket, and pulled it out. "Gibbs," he answered the phone, briskly.

"_Jethro," _Jenny's voice came over the speaker.

"What do you need, Jen?" Gibbs asked. He would never admit it, but the sound of her voice was actually comforting in this moment.

Jenny hesitated. _"We need you to come in. There's something important we need to discuss, and it cannot wait."_

Gibbs paused for a moment than pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not leaving her, Jen," he stated, gruffly. He felt a flood of anger rush into at the mere suggestion of leaving the hospital. He didn't want to leave her side until he was certain she was going to be alright. His team had many close calls before, and sometimes people died. Yet there was something about this that left him cold inside. More afraid than he ever thought he could be.

"_I know that, Jethro. I hate to ask it of you," _Jenny said, softly. _"But I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."_

Gibbs felt his anger slip out of him, and his blue eyes glanced at Evelyn's too pale face, and he let out a sight. "Fine. I'll be there," he snapped his phone shut without another word. He held Evelyn's hand for a long moment before he let go and stood up. He squared his shoulders, and walked over to Lucas.

Lucas tensed, and eyed the silver haired man warily.

"I don't like you," Gibbs told him, point blank. "I like you even less now, but for some reason Evelyn cares for you. Do not leave her side. Not for one second."

"I had no plans to," Lucas answered, firmly. His eyes were narrowed, and his hands clenched into tight fists at his side. "I'll be here for as long as she will have me."

Gibbs stared him down, until he was satisfied that the other man would stay to his word. "And if you hurt her again," Gibbs looked him square in the eye, "then I'll kill you."

"If I hurt her again, I would do it myself," Lucas told him, seriously. He didn't bat an eye, nor did he back down in the slightest.

Gibbs glared for a moment longer before he turned and walked out of the door. Lucas watched him go, with no words of parting. He stood there at the foot of the bed, motionless for so long. Minutes passed by without meaning before he finally mustered the courage to move over by her side.

Her face appeared peaceful, as if she was merely sleeping and lying in hospital bed fighting for her life. "I don't know if you can hear this. I don't know if it even matters to you anymore, but it does to me so I need to say this," Lucas said, his voice a hushed whisper. She had been so pale. She was _still_ too pale, but he could see the life begin to color her skin. It was a good sign. "You were something I never counted. I never believed in redemption. I did try though. I tried so many times, but I never believed that I could be absolved of all the bad things that I've done."

Delicately, he brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. "You make me feel differently. You make me feel like a man worth redemption. You made a man like me believe he's got a chance at heaven as long as he has you, and I've never felt like that. Not with anyone," he admitted, his thumb stroking her cheek. "I know how I feel. I know how I feel right now, and that if you die then all the light in my life would be gone and I would be alone in the darkness."

There was no reply. Just the constant beep of machines as Evelyn laid there, still and quiet.

"I never thought…" He gave a self-deprecating chuckle beneath his breath, and his slid his hand into hers. "That I would be able to love, or be loved. Not in the way when I feel when I am with you."

Lucas stared down at Evelyn's face, and he wished to see those eyes flicker open. To see those shades of cerulean filled with light, and looking at them in the way she used to. The door opened, and Lucas's head snapped towards a nurse that entered the room.

The woman's skin was a light shade of caramel with ebony locks that was tied back into a severe ponytail. Her brown eyes flickered towards him then she quickly averted them. Perhaps she was uncomfortable because he looked so distraught and in despair. However, his suspicious nature flickered inside of his heart and he felt the hair on the nape of his neck raise in alarm.

He stood up straight in a deceptively lazy way, letting sharp eyes drift over the nurse more keenly. He noted as she moved about checking machines that not once did she look in his in direction. Doubt trickled down his spine—this woman was not a nurse. "Can you tell me of her condition?" Lucas inquired, cautiously. "Did Dr. Mcavoy tell you anything?"

The nurse didn't pause. Didn't look at him. "Dr. Mcavoy said she is in a stable condition," the woman fussed with Evelyn's IV, the one attached to the blood bag. She flashed him a demure smile as he began to walk around the bed towards her. The room was cool, but he could make out traces of sweat on the woman's brow. When the woman reached for Evelyn, Lucas leapt the distance between them, inserting himself between the woman and Evelyn.

He grabbed her arm, his grip hard and bruising. "Only one problem," he said, his voice cold and vicious. "Dr. Mcavoy doesn't exist."

The woman reacted instantly. She pulled out a syringe out of her sleeve, and tried to jab it in his arm. Lucas was swifter, he grabbed her wrist and twisted it with all of his might. The syringe fell to the floor with a clank as the bones snapped beneath his hand, and the woman screamed with anger and pain. She brought up her leg, and brought her high heel down upon his knee. He grunted, and pulled back. The woman rushed for the door, but Lucas grabbed her by her ponytail. He dragged her back, and threw her to the floor. He pulled out his gun, and leveled it at her.

The woman stilled. Her dark eyes were filled with a blistering rage, and her hands were curled into fists. She looked at him pure loathing, and so much hatred.

"Who are you? Who do you work for?" Lucas demanded, his heart thudded against his ribs while adrenaline rushed through his blood. There was no doubt in his mind that the man that hurt Evelyn, and this woman were connected. Someone wanted Evelyn dead, and badly.

"You're a fool," she spat, a snarl on her lips.

"Who do you work for?" Lucas raised his voice.

The woman didn't answer. Instead, she stared up at him for a long moment before she pulled out something behind her back. It was the syringe.

"Don't," Lucas's order fell on deaf ears.

The woman took the syringe and plunged it straight into her chest. Lucas's eyes widened ever so slightly in shock before he rushed down, and grabbed the woman by her shoulder. "Don't you dare," Lucas hissed, angrily. It was too late. The woman's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and her entire body went limp. Lucas cursed violently underneath his breath as he felt for a pulse, and found none.

She was dead.

* * *

Gibbs walked into autopsy where Jenny had requested to see him. He didn't know why, and he couldn't stop the irritation that swept over him. It crawled across his skin like a bug, and he couldn't shake off the guilt that pierced through him. He shouldn't be here. He should be at the hospital, sitting vigilant by Evelyn's beside. It wasn't just his gut that told him that, it was his heart, too. He drew in a deep breath and strode through the doors.

Autopsy was always so cold, and quiet. Sometimes, it was comforting. Today was not one of those times. Instead, Gibbs stepped towards the body lying upon the table and a dark satisfaction boiled up in his belly. The sight of Evelyn's attacker dead made him glad and angry at the same time. He was glad that the bastard was dead, but in Gibbs's mind the man had deserved a more painful way to die. He got off too easy where Evelyn was still suffering. Still fighting for every breath she drew in, and it made Gibbs angry because he hated feeling so damn helpless.

"Palmer not here?" Gibbs asked, casually. There was nothing casual about this anymore. This had been an attack on his team. On his family. He did not let people who did that walk away, and he would not let it happen again.

"I gave him the day off," Ducky sighed, setting the scalpel down carefully. "Today, I just needed the silence."

His heart twisted in his chest. "What do you have for me, Duck?" He asked, finally acknowledging the other man in the room. Ducky had been silent, but it was not for Gibbs's benefit.

Ducky was upset. It was easy to tell for the lines of his face had become more pronounced, and his eyes heavy with shadows as he worked on the body without a word. No funny anecdotes, or facts. It was just not the day for such trivial things. "Not much I'm afraid. I usually work best when I have a drive to learn more about the bodies that grace my table, to speak to them as if they are still the person they once was…" He shook his head lightly, adjusting the overhead light. "But I find I have no words I wish to spare on this man."

Gibbs nodded slightly. "That's understandable, Ducky."

"I just can't figure out _why_," Ducky sounded so distraught and flabbergasted. "Why Evelyn? Why now? What could have Evelyn done to make this man so enraged that he would come after her?"

"Maybe she did something. Maybe she did nothing," Gibbs stated, his voice very light. It betrayed nothing of the emotions toiling beneath the surface. "Maybe she was an easy target. Maybe she just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. We don't know."

"But we'll find out?" Ducky managed a smile small.

"We have to," Gibbs stated, grimly.

Ducky inclined his head. "I can't tell you much. But what I can tell you is that he died from exsanguinating hemorrhage, a severe arterial bleeding from the stab wound. It pierced clean through the left coronary artery and into the heart. He was dead within in a minute, give or take."

"I wasn't paying attention. My focus was elsewhere," Gibbs murmured, staring hard down at the man's face. There was something familiar about him. Something that made Gibbs's gut twist into a hard knot and bile burn up his throat. He managed to swallow it back, and looked up at Ducky who looked at him concerned.

"How is Evelyn? Have you gotten to see her?" Ducky finally asked. He had been dreading the answer, too afraid to hear bad news.

"She's stable. I got to see her." Gibbs's throat hurt, and he swallowed thickly as he drug a hand down his face. "God, Ducky…she was so pale. She didn't even look like she was breathing when they hauled into the ambulance. Her heart stopped, Ducky. She was dead. For a moment, she was dead."

"But she is alive now," Ducky said, his voice even as he could make it as he went about weighing the liver. "We have to hold to that. Let our strength give her strength. It's all we can do."

_What if it's not enough? _Gibbs thought. It hadn't been so many times before. For Kate, for Paula Cassidy, and yet with Evelyn it was so much worse. His hand curled into fists and Jenny marched through the autopsy doors with a fiercely determined look on her face. "We need to talk, Jethro," she stated, her voice firm.

"Yeah, you mentioned that," Gibbs drew in a deep breath to compose himself. "What did you need to talk about, Jen? It had better be important."

"I think you'll find it very important. This man is Alejandro Rivera," Jenny pointed at the body, a quirk of her lips. It was not a happy smile. It was not a gloating one. It was tight smile, one meant to disguise displeasure or anger. Gibbs had learned well to recognize it through his last three marriages.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me, Jen?" Gibbs asked, eyebrow arched coolly.

"No. But perhaps his father's name will ring a bell," Jenny crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at Gibbs, her eyes scrutinizing him carefully. "Does the name Pedro Hernandez mean anything to you?"

* * *

Tony bit back a curse as he scribbled down witness statements. He watched as evidence was collected, and the body of the woman wheeled away. He had called Gibbs's cellphone, but the man had not answered. It was unlike Gibbs and if it hadn't been for McGee's reassurance that the man had walked into NCIS, Tony would have gone berserk. He had told McGee to tell Gibbs what had happened the moment he got the chance. _It is all such a mess_, he thought as he let out a heavy sigh, and made his way towards Evelyn's new room which was being guarded by two NCIS agents. He walked through the threshold and saw Lucas standing at the end of the bed. His head was slightly bowed, and his hands pressed together like he was praying as his thumbs pressed against his lips. His blue eyes were locked onto the walls, thoughts rushing through them a mile a minute.

"She is being guarded now."

Lucas's gaze flickered up. "I know," he said, simply.

"I just figured…you know you might want to get cleaned up," Tony gestured with his notepad towards Lucas's hands which were still caked in dry blood.

A wry look crossed Lucas face, and he just shook his head. "I need the reminder," he stated, simply.

Tony arched a brow at the response. "Okay…" he said, slowly. "How is she doing? Everything still alright?" His hazel eyes flickered over to Evelyn. She almost looked like she was sleeping, but there was a furrow in her brow now. A restless there that couldn't fade away no matter how much medicine they pumped into her system. As if part of her, a subconscious part, sensed the tension in the air.

"She is the same," Lucas murmured, his voice laced with pain he could not disguise. "No flicker, no twitch of life. Just so still. If it were not for the rise and fall of each breath, she would appear…"

Tony swallowed. The team hadn't been dealt such a blow like this in a long time, and one would think they would have grown a tougher skin. After Kate. After Paula Cassidy. After so many others. However, the pain was still as heartbreaking and agonizing. It didn't let any of them go for an instant. "Two attacks in one day. That's not random," he commented, quietly.

"No," Lucas agreed. "Someone wants Evelyn dead."

The two men shared at look as if the other may hold some answers, but they found none. After a moment, they turned their gazes back onto Evelyn. Lucas stared at her, with a frown on his face. Was this his punishment? Was he being punished for loving her? For allowing himself to love? Did he bring this upon them when he took on this mission? He wasn't certain. He had no answers, and he was at a loss. He didn't know what to do except stand there and pray to a God he wasn't sure he believed in and hoped that if he was there, that he would listen.

* * *

"_What did you just say?"_

The question came out so sharp, so angry that a flash of fear went across Jenny's face and she took a step back away from Gibbs. Even Ducky looked up at him in alarm. He didn't care in that moment. His entire body vibrated with anger and pain.

Oh, he knew that name. He knew it all too well. The man who hated more than anyone else in the world. The man he hated more than Eli David. The man he hated more that Ari. The man that had stolen his entire life away from him, and led Gibbs down a dark spiral that he had barely escaped. His jaw was clenched so tight that his teeth ached, and his eyes pinned Jenny to the spot. "What…did…you…just…say?" He bit out the words one by one, his hands twisted into fists at his side.

"His father…" Jenny swallowed, hesitantly. "His father is Pedro Hernandez. A man that you were accused of killing, but the case went cold. There was never enough evidence to formally charge you with anything. Or at least, none that was ever found."

_The man who killed your family, _was left unsaid, but it lingered in the air like a toxin tainting every breath Gibbs took. Gibbs breathed out through his nose, before he slammed a hand down on the empty autopsy table beside him. Jenny startled, and Ducky shot him a look. However, neither of them said anything knowing how painful this moment was for him.

Gibbs pressed his knuckles to his mouth for a long moment before he looked up at Ducky. "Did you find anything else? Anything on the body that was important or seems like a clue?"

Ducky stood there a moment.

"Ducky," Gibbs snapped.

Ducky frowned deeply then nodded. "A note. It was in his pocket. Abby examined it for finger prints, and is running them. I have it over here…" He trailed off when Gibbs picked up the evidence bag.

Gibbs smoothed out the wrinkles in the plastic bag, and his eyes ran across the words. They only made the guilt that rammed into with all the force of a bullet all the more unbearable. "He does a thing which ought to trouble him, and will move him to pity what his own vile hands have acted; but if he does not pity, that is, be troubled with himself, and wish the things undone, he hath those affections by which the devil doth rejoice in destroying souls; which affections a man cannot have, unless he be perfectly miserable, by being contrary to God, to mercy, and to felicity; and after all, the pleasure is false, fantastic, and violent, it can do him no good, it can do him hurt, it is odds but it will, and on him that takes revenge, revenge shall be taken, and by a real evil he shall dearly pay for the goods that are but airy and fantastical; it is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose sinews gave it motion," Gibbs read the note, his blue eyes narrowed and a painful tension rippled through the room.

"A quote by Jeremy Taylor, he was a cleric in the Church of England who achieved fame as an author during the Protectorate of Oliver Cromwell. He is sometimes known as," Ducky rambled on, then paused in motion. He let out a deep sigh, his face sagged with exhaustion. "Well, that matters little now. What matters is the tone that the message sends. The meaning behind it is quite clear. Revenge destroys all, especially those who seek it by any means necessary."

Gibbs couldn't breath.

_It was his fault._

It was _his _fault.

It was his _fault_. The thought repeated over and over inside of his mind with no remorse. He closed his eyes in despair, and he leaned onto the autopsy table for support. His breath were sharp and shallow, a tightening sensation in his chest as his stomach rolled.

"Jethro, don't think that," Jenny demanded, quietly. She could see the guilt on his face and knew where his thoughts went.

"How can I not?" He rasped out. His blue eyes slid closed, and he prayed for strength before he peeled them open. He stood up slowly, and straight his spine. He turned towards Jenny, but before he could even speak, Abby came bursting through the doors. Her eyes were wide, and her face pale. She looked completely flustered, clutching a sheet of paper so tightly in her hands it was surprising it hadn't been ripped in two. "Abby?" Gibbs asked, concerned.

"Gibbs, I'm so sorry. I mean, normally this would be good news, but normally Evelyn would be stabbed and now in a hospital and we don't know what's going to happen. It just popped when I ran the DNA, and when the results came in I came straight to you because I didn't now what else to do," Abby babbled, her voice held a hysterical edge to it.

"Abby, what are you talking about?" Gibbs said, taking a step forward.

Abby looked up at him, and her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "Evelyn's DNA got a hit in the NCIS database," she whispered out. "One of our old cases that the DNA has just been put on computer file just a couple of months ago. Gibbs…I…" Abby looked at a loss for what to say, and she held out the paper to him. It shook between her fingers. "Just…just read."

Gibbs shot her a curious and wary look. He grasped the paper, and flipped it over to read it. He stared at the black words, a sharp contrast to the brightly white paper and it took him several seconds to realize what they said. Gibbs felt all the air be ripped out of him. He took a step back as if someone had physically punched him, and he stared at the paper in his hands as if it had just tried to destroy him. His pulse throbbed in his temples, painfully and the autopsy room suddenly felt too hot. Too small, and it took everything in him not to march out of the room right then and there instead of confronting his past that was colliding with his present.

"I ran it three times. It's a match," Abby whispered out.

Gibbs said nothing. He didn't know what to make of her reassurance anymore than he did the paper in his hand that told him an impossible thing.

"Jethro?" Jenny looked at Ducky.

Ducky looked as confused as she was. "Gibbs? Is everything alright?" He asked, his eyes flickered over to Abby who stood there as still as statue.

"No…" Gibbs shook his head. "No, it's not. I have to see Evelyn." He brushed past Jenny who reached out for him, and shoved through the doors with all the force of an angry bull.

As the doors slammed closed, Jenny turned towards Abby with a foreboding expression on her face. "What match? What did that paper say?" Jenny asked, her slightly breathless. She had only seen that look on Gibbs's face once, and it was when he had temporarily lost him memory. When he had forgotten that Shannon and Kelly were dead.

"Abby…" Ducky looked at her searchingly when the goth hesitated.

Abby swallowed thickly. "Evelyn is Gibbs's daughter. Evelyn is Kelly Gibbs."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**So what do you all think? :D**

**Looking for inspiration! If you have a song you think fits this story, or the mood of a certain character let me know. I'll go check it out and it might end up on the soundtrack. :D**

**Hope you all enjoyed!**


	18. Where Will You Hide?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean, EmmieRaeJean, LegalAddiction20, MusicLover500 and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, ljcolic, BurnedSpy, DS2010, redhouseclan, CandyHearts22, and Calista Moon_**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**No guest reviews at this time.**

**Inspired by the songs:**

"You're Safe" by Rachel Platten

"Be Somebody" by Thousand Foot Krutch

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

"**Where Will You Hide?"**

Waking up was painful.

Her entire body from her head to her toes was either uncomfortably numb, or searing with pain. She drew in a deep breath, and her throat ached. There was a faint constant beep somewhere nearby her that lured her further out of the darkness, and her fingers flexed. She felt the scratchy material of the blanket, and her brows furrowed because she knew instinctively this wasn't her blanket. Why wasn't this her blanket? Her mind felt heavy and her thoughts were scattered. It took her several minutes to muster up the strength to peel open her eyes.

It felt like she had been gutted.

She _had_ been gutted. She faintly recalled flashing of standing outside, trying to catch her breath, then that man…she couldn't stop him. A whimper escaped her throat as she blinked her eyes harshly, the hospital walls came into focus. With shaky hands, she reached down to her abdomen where the pain was the worst and she clenched her eyes closed, remembering how easily the blade had slid into her flesh.

Had someone stopped him? Did they catch him? She remembered Lucas…and Gibbs…they hovered over with worried expressions. She let out a harsh breath, her mind swirling with thoughts. Was NCIS looking into? Were they investigating? Gibbs would be leading the charge if he could, she knew that much. She breathed in and out, before slowly a chilling sensation rolled through her. A startling realization that left her numb. _Attack meant blood. Blood meant tests. Tests meant running it through the database and then, _she pieced the thoughts together and panic burned within in her.

"No. No. No," Evelyn said, her voice sluggish and trembling. A knot burned in the back of her throat, and it felt like her heart had been filled with broken glass. Her hand reached up, shaking and quaking, as she looked down at all the things that she was hooked up to. With a sharp breath, she started grasping at things pulling them off of her body. The IV fell free from her arm, and blood dribbled down her skin. She ripped the oxygen tube out of her nose, ignoring the sting. She pulled the strings off of her chest, and the heart monitor flat lined.

Evelyn didn't care. Only one thing matter to her in that moment, and that was get to Gibbs. She had to get to him. She had to tell him the truth. He couldn't find out that way. She couldn't let him find out that way. Her heart hammered against her ribcage as she shoved herself up awkward, her face twisted into a painful grimace. She got her feet on the ground a split second before the door slammed open, but she didn't look up to see who it was. All she cared about was getting to her feet, so she did.

Or so she tried.

She wasn't even able to stand for a single second on her feet before her legs crumbled out from underneath her, and she slammed painfully into the ground. Evelyn let out a whimper, all of the air was knocked out of her.

"Evelyn! What do you think you are doing?" Lucas nearly shouted the demand, rushing to her side. His heart had leapt in his chest when he saw her crash to the ground. When the heart monitor had flat lined, he had feared the worst. He lifted her up into his arms, and set her back onto the back.

"No, no, no," she croaked out. A bruising pain tore through her, and she gave a moan of pain. "Not like this…not like this…I have…I have to…" Evelyn felt so weak, and tired. She needed to get up. She had to get up. She had to get to Gibbs, and explain everything. Her eyes flickered up to Lucas, and she reached out towards him. "Lucas," she breathed out, her fingers pulling at his forearm trying to pull him closer to her. "Lucas, please…I have to get up. He has to hear…it from me. Not…someone…else…"

"We need her to calm down to check her stitches," the nurse said, quickly.

"Give her a sedative," the doctor ordered, sharply.

Lucas barely paid them in mind. His eyes stared at her, confusion and concern written on his face. He cupped her face with both of his hands, and stared straight into her eyes. They were glazed and had a far off look in them. She was still under the influence of the pain medication. "Evelyn, you need to calm down," he told her, gently. The doctor and nurses had entered the room only a moment after him, and immediately set about hooking her back up once they realized nothing was wrong.

"I can't," Evelyn whispered out, desperately. She had never been so afraid as she was now. "I can't…Lucas, please. Please, I have to get to him. Please, let me go to him. He can't find out…not like that…he needs to hear it from me. Please, please…"

Lucas swallowed down the urge to be jealous at whoever this he that she was talking about. Instead, he just rested his forehead against hers gently. "I know. I know you're scared," he told her, gently as he caught the nurse preparing a sedative to give her out of the corner of his eye. "But it's going to be alright."

"It's…it's going to be okay?" There was something heartbreaking child like about the way she said that. So filled with hope, it hurt. "You promise?"

"It's going to be okay," he whispered out. He wrapped his arms around her, and he buried his nose into her hair. "I promise. It's all going to be okay." He glanced over at the nurse who waited patiently, and nodded. The nurse grasped Evelyn's arm carefully, and Lucas felt Evelyn stiffen in his arms.

Evelyn twisted her head. "No…no…no!" She pressed her hands against Lucas's chest and tried to break free. It felt like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest, and twisted about violently before hastily being shoved back in.

Lucas closed his eyes, and just held her tightly. "It's going to be okay. Evelyn, it's going to be alright," he told her, over her desperate pleas. He felt like he was being eviscerated with a knife, hearing the pain in her voice. He ran his hand up and down her back as soothingly as he could as the nurse injected her with sedative.

"No, no! Lucas, please! Please! I have to tell him!" Evelyn screamed, her fists trying to beat on his chest. It was futile effort as he held her tight, her fists trapped between them. Angry tears rolled down her face, she felt betrayed as her own body started to relax against her will. "No…no…" Darkness began to seep into her vision, and Lucas slowly laid her back down into the bed. Her fingers dug into the arms of his shirt, holding as tight as she could like a ship to an anchor. "No…no…please," she made the broken plea, her quick gasping breaths slowing and evening out. "Lucas…please…don't…"

Lucas drew in haggard breath, and looked down.

Evelyn's fingers relaxed, and her hand slid off his arm. She blinked up at the ceiling, a lost expression of her face and the darkness settled in. In the next moment, she was out cold.

Lucas stared down at her with regret on his face. His ran his hands down his face, and felt a lifetime of weariness settle deep within his bones. He gave Evelyn one last regretful glance before he was ushered out of the room by a nurse.

* * *

Gibbs had reached the hospital in record time.

He spun into the parking lot squealing tires, and he was inside the building before the engine had a chance to even begin to cool. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his mind raced. His expression was severe, and when he stepped off the elevator onto the floor, he found himself confronted with a crime scene unit packing. His blue eyes widened a fraction as he saw them wheeling out a body bag, and he felt fear burst through his veins. He marched over to Tony who was talking to one of the crew. "DiNozzo, what the hell happened?" His voice was sharp and cutting. "Who the hell is in that body bag?"

"Uh…we don't have an ID just yet boss," Tony swallowed, taken aback by the lethal gleam in his boss's eyes. He was used to plain, ol' intimidating Gibbs, but this wasn't the normal Gibbs. This was something else all together, and the wild look in Gibbs's eyes frankly scared Tony. "She was posing as a nurse, and entered Evelyn's room. She had a syringe filled with some kind of lethal concoctions, we aren't sure until lab processes it, but it was made to kill. Thankfully, Lucas North was in the room at the time, and stopped her from injecting it into Evelyn's bloodstream."

Gibbs's gut twisted harshly. "Son of a bitch," he cursed, violently. "Evelyn's condition?"

"She woke up," Lucas walked towards them. His brows furrowed, and his lips drawn in a tight line.

"She woke up?" Tony blinked.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Lucas. His hand curled into a fist, and he wanted nothing more in that moment to knock the man clean off his feet. He had the urge before he had found out the truth that Evelyn was Kelly, but now it had increased ten fold. "And?" He barked, darkly.

Lucas shot him a quelling glance. "She was hysterical. Frightened, and tried to leave the hospital bed," he told them, the churning sensation in his gut from that still very much present.

"She didn't give any clue that she knew her attacker?" Gibbs asked, his voice low and strained.

"Her mind wasn't on that. She kept…she kept saying she had to tell him. I don't know who or what she was talking about only that she was very insistent. The doctor had to sedate her in order to calm her down," Lucas informed him, coolly. The lines around his eyes more pronounced and his posture one of someone clinging to the edge of exhaustion.

"Gibbs!"

Gibbs growled underneath his breath, and turned to face Fornell who was briskly walking towards her. "What the hell happened? I just heard," he said, his face twisted into a deep frown.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lucas said, his voice sharp and cold. A line of tension ran along his shoulders, and his hands tightened into fists.

The anger on Lucas's face was echoed by Gibbs. A hot flashed of anger and frustration rolled through him upon Fornell's arrival. He hadn't forgotten about the mess of an interrogation the FBI had pulled. "Not now, Fornell," Gibbs snapped. He didn't want to think about that. He didn't need the FBI butting in right now when everything was…he wasn't sure there was a word accurate to describe everything that was happening right now.

"Normally I would back off, especially given the kid is in the hospital. But the FBI still needs answers," Fornell stated, with a heavy sigh. "They've called off Taggert after his little mishap at the NCIS. Apparently Jenny Shepard vouched for the kid, however we still have question. If it's alright with you-"

"It is not fucking alright, Tobias!" Gibbs snarled, viciously. He had gotten right into Fornell's face, and gave the other man a blistering glare. "She's my daughter!"

Fornell sputtered, while Tony's mouth dropped open.

Lucas's body tensed, his eyes sharpened upon Gibbs's face.

Gibbs took deep, ragged breath. "You tell whoever the hell you are working for to back off before I pull out every last connection I have to ensure that even their grandchildren's lives will be a living hell. Do you understand me, Tobias?" He demanded, his voice gravely and harsh.

Fornell looked a bit pale, and took a deep breath. "Yeah…yeah, I understand," he nodded, after a moment.

* * *

_Evelyn was standing in a hallway._

_It was in the middle of the hospital, and she watched as nurses and doctors rushed by. She reached up putting her hands over her ears, because the noise was so loud. Her heart beat was a faint tremble within her chest, and slowly the walls around her shifted. They creaked and groaned before they crumbled apart and faded away. She was suddenly sitting on a log, in front of her was a crackling fire and on the edge of the calm, gentle waves was her younger self laughing over something her father said. Her mother was standing there, laughing as well._

"_We were so happy then, weren't we?" Shannon Gibbs sat on the other side of the fire, and Evelyn's head shot up. Her heart clenched at the sight of the red head sitting there, with a fond smile on her lips as she watched the scene on the beach unfold._

_Evelyn paused. "Yes…we were," she agreed, quietly._

_Shannon twisted around to face Evelyn completely, her face glowing in the firelight. She had a light smile on her lips, yet it was not a happy one. It was a sad, wistful smile. "You've gotten so big," she said, with a light chuckle. "Where did the years go?"_

"_By too fast," Evelyn said, her voice a hoarse whisper. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I'm here because I need to be," Shannon shrugged her shoulders, and allowed her eyes to flicker back towards the beach where Gibbs hoisted the younger Kelly onto his shoulder and walked long the beach with his hand in the other Shannon's. The sun was now fully behind the horizon, but the rays still blazed brightly up into the sky. One half painted in stars, the other still burning bright. "You have been through so much. You still have so much more to go through."_

"_How much more can I go through?" Evelyn asked. A pained expression on her face, as her hands trembled on her lap. "I've had my life taken from me, more than once. I've been beaten, I've been broken, and I had to pick all the pieces up over and over again. How can I go through more which just shattering completely?"_

"_Because this time, sweetie," Shannon whispered, "you won't have to face it alone. You have your family. You have Tony, Ziva, McGee, Ducky and Abby. You have your father, and you have Lucas. You won't have to go through this alone."_

_Kelly's laughter reached them, and Kelly came rushing towards the camp. Her dad and mom trailing behind her. Evelyn's heart tightened painfully in her chest. "He's so strong," Evelyn whispered out, pain laced in her voice. "Tarasov…he destroyed me once, he can do it again…" _

_Shannon had stood up, and came to Evelyn's side. She wrapped her arms around Evelyn's shoulder gently and reassuringly. "My sweet girl…you're stronger," her mother told her, simply. _

_Evelyn's eyes flickered up to meet her mother's smile and her heart dropped. "I don't want to let you go," she whispered out, clinging tightly to her mom. "I don't want you to leave again."_

"_I know, baby girl," Shannon said, tears in her eyes. "I don't want to, either…but we have to."_

_Everything went white._

* * *

Gibbs looked up towards the ceiling, trying to come to grips with the emotions burning inside of his chest. He swallowed harshly as he ran a hand down his face before he managed to drew in a sharp breath. He looked back down at the woman in the hospital, and there was a fragile feeling in his chest. As if the entire world could come crashing down and he would be crushed underneath the weight of it all.

It had been a long time since had felt this breakable. He rested his upon Evelyn's smaller hand, while his eyes darted all over her face. How could he have not seen it before? She had the same delicate features like Shannon did, except the jaw line. That came from his father's side of the family. His gut twisted into knots, and he felt a tightening sensation in his lungs.

He couldn't see Evelyn anymore.

All he saw in that moment was Kelly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded, softly.

Evelyn didn't stir. Not even in the slightest, her eyes stayed firmly shut and her breath slow and even. With a harsh sigh, he picked his hand up off of hers and pulled the chair over to the edge of the bed before he took a seat. He braced his elbows on each armrest, and entwined his fingers, peering over them at her. _His daughter_, he reminded himself with a knot in his throat.

How long had he dreamt this moment? How many times had he pleaded with God for Shannon and Kelly's death to be only a nightmare? He had been given a miracle, and it should be the happiest moment in his life. Instead his daughter laid in a bed fighting for her life due to the sins of his past. He blew out a breath, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Did you not trust me?" He asked, his . "Is that it? Or was it something else? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I hardly think she is in a condition to give you all the answers you need, Jethro," Ducky said from the doorway. He stood in his tan trench coat on, his hands fiddling with his hat as he stared at Gibbs with concern written plain on his face. "Your thoughts weigh on your so heavily upon you, Gibbs. I don't think I've ever seen them so easy to read ever before."

Gibbs was silent for a long moment before murmuring her name. "Evelyn," he breathed out. He couldn't help, but wonder if she really liked being called that. Did she ever let anyone call her Kelly? Did she even consider that her name at all? The name that he chose for her, the name that seemed to suit her so well.

He stared hard at the adjacent wall, his hands clenched into tight fists at his side. "She's my daughter," the words slipped past his lips, and unlike at the morgue where he was too scared, too mad to let them truly sink in, they cut deeply here now when the walls seemed to echo his shaken voice back at him.

Ducky let out a deep sigh. "I know. Abby told us after you left," the ME said, coming to stand at the end of the bed. His eyes stared down at Evelyn, who was blissfully unaware of the turmoil around her. "You can't outrun this, Jethro. I know there is a lot of grief, and a lot of pain attached to this, but you have been handed a miracle. A honest to God miracle. Those don't happen everyday, and you can't let the fear of pain get in your way because if you do, you are underestimating the connection between a father and a daughter. And if you think you can just let Evelyn walk away from this because you're afraid and never look back, never wonder…then you wouldn't be the man that I know that you are."

Gibbs clenched his teeth tightly. Pain. It would always been there when he thought of Shannon and Kelly. It would always be attached to every good memory, and hurt like hell when he thought of the bad ones. The pain would go away, people had said. You just have to ride it out. But it never went away, not really. He managed it, pushed to the back of his mind and kept it locked away as tightly as he could. But it always kept creeping back in, hitting when he least expected it. "Why? Why did she not tell me?" Gibbs asked, his voice rough and raggedy with emotions.

Ducky looked at him, compassionately. "I can't tell you Evelyn's motives, or why she did what she did. Only she can tell you that. That being said," the medical examiner smiled, genially at him. "She looks at you as if you hung the moon. She would follow you into hell if you asked, and she would give no complaints. No trouble because she trusts you, Jethro. She has always trusted you. It is herself that Evelyn has never learned to trust."

Gibbs swallowed thickly, and he closed his head letting it fall into his hands. That was until he heard the guard arguing with someone outside the door. He shared a glance with Ducky, and rose out of the chair with a frown. As he opened the door, he found himself watching a tiny blond woman, with her hands on her hips and glaring at the guards. "Look, that is my friend in there! So you better move or I will make you move!" The tiny blond threatened, her brown eyes flashing dangerously.

The guard looked unimpressed with the threat.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes. "Who are you?"

The blond's eyes flickered towards him, and he watched her still. A recognition flashed through her eyes, and if it was possible the worry on her face grew tenfold. "My name is Eleanor Bishop," she said, after a long moment. "My friends call me Ellie, except for Evelyn. She prefers to call me Elle."

* * *

After several moments more of argument, they all settled into Evelyn's hospital room. Gibbs sat in the chair beside Evelyn's bedside, his steel blue eyes on the blond who stood there with a nervous expression on her face. Lucas stood on the other side of Evelyn's bed, there was little anyone could do to remove him from her side. Though Gibbs tried with several glares, but the other man's focus was solely on his daughter. Gibbs didn't like that one bit.

Fornell stood over by the windows, while Ducky was reviewing Evelyn's charts carefully. "What to run that by me again?" The FBI agent asked, his voice deadpanned. "You're MI5?"

"Technically, I'm NSA," Elle informed them, with an attempt at a half grin. "I'm just on loan to MI6 for the time being. Or well, I was. But now I'm here because…" Her brown eyes flickered towards Evelyn.

Lucas's shoulders tensed, and he shot Fornell a quick look out of the corner of his eyes. MI6, while not his former employers MI5, was still a great cause for concern. A stern indentation appeared on his brow, and his hand slid over Evelyn's small palm.

"MI6? Like James Bond?" Tony's eyebrows show upward. When Gibbs gave him a look, he cleared his throat. "Not important. How did you find out Evelyn was hurt?" He was leaning against the doorway, his arms clasped over his chest. "As far as I know, Evelyn has no emergency contacts and that information has been released publicly."

Elle hesitated for a second. "I got a call. She called me the other day, and left a rather cryptic phone message," she informed them, shoving her hands into her pockets resisting the urge to move them about nervously. "I tried reaching her, but I got no answer so I knew something went wrong."

"What was her message?" Gibbs tensed.

"It was short," Elle swallowed. She was uncertain on how much to reveal because she didn't want to give away something that Evelyn hadn't told them. "She just said she was running on borrowed time. That was it."

A dark silence fell over the room. Gibbs felt something twist violently in his chest, and he looked over at his daughter. She had known she was in danger? And she had said nothing?

Fornell pinched the bridge of his nose. "So how is that you met Evelyn?" The FBI agent asked, a tone of irritation in his voice. He should have known that there was never such a thing as a straight forward case, and he regretted ever hearing the name Tarasov.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Elle frowned, deeply.

"Do you usually get so defensive from such an innocent question?" Fornell shot back at her.

"There's nothing innocent about it," the blond stated, fiercely. "I know about your so called investigation, and frankly I expected better of the FBI. What kind of investigator goes after a victim to catch a criminal?"

Lucas's eyes flashed. "You know Evelyn's connection to Tarasov," he stated, his voice toneless. _Victim, _he repeated in his mind. He had suspected it. He had known it, but to hear confirmed outloud made his heart sink into his stomach. His hand grasped Evelyn's more tightly. _What did he do to you, Evelyn? _He thought silently, and he felt a flood of emotions rush through him. In Russia, he had suffered eight years of hell. He could still feel the wounds, all of them, upon his skin as if they were made yesterday. He knew what Tarasov was capable of, and he felt a cold horrific sensation drip down his spine.

Elle hesitated. "Yes," she nodded, after a long moment. "I know the story, but…I'm not tell you it. It's not place to say anything, and I won't betray Evelyn's trust."

"I could have you arrested for hindering a federal investigation," said Fornell, his eyebrow quirked upward. It was a silent challenge.

Gibbs stiffened in his chair, and gave Fornell a dark look.

Elle narrowed her eyes, and straightened her shoulders. "Do it, and I will make your life difficult. I didn't get where I am today without making a few friends, and I have a few people who owe me debts. So if that's the way you want to play this, then bring it on," she told him, her hands on her hips.

There was a beat then Fornell's face split into a reluctant smile. "You got guts, kid," he told her, with a slight nod. Judging by the expression on Elle's face she did not think it a compliment.

Evelyn drew in a sharp breath, her eyes felt heavy and her body felt weightless. Her trembling fingers clenched, and unclenched as she slowly drifted back into consciousness. There was a dizziness that surrounded her mind and she was having trouble remembering something. Something very important, and she had a horrible sinking feeling inside of her chest. Finally she peeled her eyes open, her heart a steady thump against her ribcage. Slowly a haze figure came into focus, she whispered hoarsely, "L-Lucas? Y-you're here?"

Lucas felt a jolt of shock rush through him. "You're awake…" he breathed out, quietly. His hand was pressed over hers, and relief flooded through him as those blue eyes focused upon his face. She looked at him in such quiet awe that it brought a hint of a smile onto his face. "How are you feeling?"

Evelyn didn't answer right away. She blinked, trying to lean up. However her limbs collapsed beneath her and she let out of huff of exertion. "…confused," she clenched her eyes closed, her voice slightly slurred. "Wh…what happened?"

"Do you remember anything?" Gibbs asked.

Evelyn jerked, her head snapped towards him. Her eyes went wide when she realized how many people stood in the hospital room. "No…" she said, slowly. "Not really. I remember Fornell and the asshole. I remember going outside then…" Her brows pinched together. Her hands trembled and reached towards her stomach. She remembered the flash of blade, then pain. "Oh, god…oh, God…"

"Evelyn," Gibbs said, to stop the growing panic on her face. "Evelyn," his hand grasped her arm as she shoved herself up into a sitting position despite the agony that passed across her face. Her breaths were coming in swift and sharp gasp, the telltale signs of a panic attack. He watched as Lucas went to wrap his arms around Evelyn to comfort her, but it didn't seem to register inside of Evelyn's mind. With a sharp tone, Gibbs said, "_Kelly_, you need to calm down!"

Evelyn brushed her hair out of her face. "Gibbs, I…" She froze, and her eyes flickered to his face. Slowly, all the blood drained out of her face, and there was a growing fear in her eyes. "Wh…what did you just say?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper as her heart plummeted into her stomach. "What did you just call me?"

Gibbs shifted forward, his eyes never once leaving her face. "I called you…Kelly."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Hope you all enjoyed! :D**

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	19. The Walls Crumbling Down

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/?

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333, rockrose and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean, EmmieRaeJean, LegalAddiction20, MusicLover500, rockrose and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _Burned Spy, MaryArtemis, Guest, CandyHearts22, DS2010, redhouselcan, Som3on3, Winchestergurl4life__**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**Guest: **Ah! Thank you so much for the glowing review! :D

**Redhouseclan: **Glad that you like it so much!

**Inspired by the song:**

"Babel" by Mumford and Sons

"You're Safe" by Rachel Platten

"Monster" by Imagine Dragons

"Ghost" by Dotan

* * *

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

"**The Walls Crumbling Down"**

Evelyn felt like she was swallowing glass.

Millions of shards buried along her throat, and in her lungs, burning with each desperate gulp of air that she pulled in through her lips. Her blue eyes never blinked, never left Gibbs's solemnly blank face. "Oh," she managed the tiny murmur, still overwhelmed by the name 'Kelly' falling free from his mouth. It had hit her straight in the heart, and pressed down upon her chest like someone dropped a thousand pound weight there. The world around her faded out. The other people in the room faded away, even Lucas with his arms around her seemed to fade into the background when she stared at her father.

He _knew. Oh, God, he knew._

"How?" The word was wretched out of her throat, and it sounded jagged and broken. All the blood drained out of her face as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Does it matter?" Gibbs asked, flatly.

"Does it…" Evelyn cut herself, pressing the palms of her hands over her mouth to smooth back a sob. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes as words failed her, and she had to look away from him for a moment. Pain stemmed out from her heart through her limbs and ran across every each of her skin, and she clenched her eyes closed. There were several heartbeats that she sat there, her knees slowly drawn up towards her despite the burning pain of her wounds before she peeled her eyes open and looked back at Gibbs. "Gibbs…I…I am so sorry. I'm sorry," she gasped, her shoulders shaking as she vainly fought against breaking down. "I never meant…_I am so sorry._"

What else could she say? She was his daughter. She had kept the truth hidden for months, and she had done so intentionally. Every time the truth had been on the tip of her tongue, and Evelyn had shied away from it. Never let it pass through her lips because she had been too afraid of it, and now it was all out for everyone to see.

"Why did you not tell me?" Gibbs demanded. He wanted—no, he needed these answers from her. His blue eyes drilled into her, and he watched the flash of guilt flicker across her face.

"I…It was never the right time," Evelyn said, her voice almost inaudible. Her hands wrapped around Lucas's arms, using him as anchor.

"Bullshit," Gibbs said, his eyes narrowed. "That's a cheap answer, and you know it."

Evelyn looked down.

"As much as I am enjoying this lovely reunion," Fornell stepped in, his voice cut through the blanket of tension in the entire room, "but I do believe we have more pressing matters to deal with. Do you know why you were attack?"

Evelyn flinched back at the reminder, and let out a shuddering breath. "I…" She licked her parched lips, and her blue eyes flickered up towards Elle, who looked very pale. "Is it Tarasov? Is it Reverent?"

"Reverent?" Lucas asked, sharply. The name _Reverent _was not lost on the ex-MI5 agent and he felt a sharp twist in his gut. "What do you know of Reverent?"

Evelyn glanced up at him. "What do you know?" She countered, with a frown. It felt like she was spiraling down the rabbit hole and there was no end in sight. The walls she had spent erecting around herself now trapped her inside, and there was nowhere to run now that they were falling down.

"That there were a terrorist cell," Lucas stated, his voice flat and serious. "They were on MI5 and MI6 radars a couple years ago."

"They are more than that…they were _terrifying_. Nothing prepared any of us for what they were capable of," Evelyn said, her hands shaking. She had never wanted them to know about this, but how could she hide it? With all that was happening, all of them could be in danger if Tarasov and Reverent was back. Her heart squeezed in her chest when she realized that she was the reason that they would be in danger. If she had never came back none of this would have happened.

"Us?" Gibbs asked.

She lifted, looking at him through the curtain of her hair. Her heart sank and she realized that there was no going back. Swallowing thickly, Evelyn said, "Cathedral. We were a group of people selected for our talents. Criminology, psychology, linguistics, you name it. Best and brightest. Young and old. We were an off branch of MI6 brought together to for the specific goal to bring down Reverent."

"Who is Reverent?" Tony arched an eyebrow.

"A ghost. Reverent was like a ghost. They were worse than just some regular terrorist cell. They had roots in almost every country through mob, drug trade, or worse," Elle said, seriously. "By the time Cathedral found one lead, and got there, there was nothing left to find."

"You were part of this?" Gibbs glanced at the blond.

"Not officially, no," Elle shifted on the heels of her feet.

"Elle was brought in to help for contingency plans if things went south with this mission. It was a high risk situation since several of the operatives brought in weren't professionals. Half of us were straight out of college, having little to no field experiences," Evelyn said, her voice toneless. She untangled herself from Lucas's arms, and wrapped her arms around her midsection. "I suppose that it shouldn't have been a surprise that it all fell apart."

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked, lightly.

Evelyn closed her eyes mournfully, the emotional pain and physical pain draining all the energy she had. She wanted nothing more than to toss everyone out of her room, and curl up into a small ball and cry. "We had a mole. We had managed to weed out several Reverent operatives, and we so close to putting an end to them once and for all…"

"But?" Fornell prompted.

Evelyn reluctantly opened her eyes and looked at him. "When I was betrayed. Deacon Hooper and I," she said, thickly. She couldn't look at Gibbs or Tony because she wasn't sure she would be strong enough to see what was there. "Reverent planned to set up several bombs throughout the city that would be devastating on their own, but inside the bombs was a pathogen. A mutated strand of the bird flu designed to kill and quickly. Once the bombs went off, it would spread like a second attack. Deacon was a specialist brought in to synthesize some kind of vaccine or cure. He managed to uncover the formula used in the mutation process and had finished a way to counter act the formula. We are on way to give to our superiors when…when Deacon was killed, and I was captured."

"Captured?" Gibbs said the word, it was bitter upon his tongue as horror bled into his heart. He stared hard at her face, but Evelyn would not look at him. She would not look at anyone. _No, _the denial ran through his mind and heart. Not his daughter, he wanted to say. He swallowed down the knot of anger that rolled up in his throat, and he clenched his hands tightly.

"The mole…was Alex Fleck," Evelyn said, her voice filled with horrible pain that she could not hide. Her finger dug deep into her sides, and she drew in a sharp breath. "No one figured it out. He framed me, and I was left to the Russians. Tarasov had an intimate relationship with Reverent, one of their main sponsors so I was left in his care." And it had become her nightmare, one that haunted her and one that would not fully go away.

"What happened while you were in his care?" Fornell asked.

Elle drew in a sharp gasp, her brown eyes filled with concern. Evelyn just glowered up at the FBI agent bitterly, and she hissed out through clenched teeth, "What do you think happened? That I was given a nice, cozy room and treated like I was staying at five star motel? I was their prisoner for a year, an enemy with intel. You tell me, Agent Fornell, what does the lengths do the FBI go to in such interrogations? Then imagine someone who doesn't have a moral code to follow, or laws that keep them in check? Imagine someone who thrives of breaking people in horrible sick ways, that is what happened."

She didn't even realize that there were tears rolling down her cheeks, until she felt Lucas swipe his thumb across her face. She glanced up at him, and saw an understanding in his blue eyes. For a moment, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his neck to hide away from everyone else. She bit the inside of her cheek harshly, and looked away. "After a year, Alex Fleck was discovered selling intelligence and during an interrogation with MI6, he admitted that I was innocent. I was rescued soon after, and we took down Reverent. Or so we thought."

"So you thought?" Tony asked.

"About two months after Cathedral was disbanded, our purpose done, some of the operatives were…found dead. They seemed like natural causes, but…" Evelyn swallowed thickly. "I had this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, even more so when I got word that a few went into witness protection soon after."

"Why didn't you follow their lead?" Fornell asked.

"And seek asylum with the people who thought I was capable of betraying them and left me to rot for a year of torture?" Evelyn scoffed, lightly. She blinked away the tears, and leaned back against the pillow. She really wished that a nurse would come in, and with some nice pain medicine to help her slip away. "I might not have betrayed them before but I had a reason now if I chose to. They couldn't trust me, and I couldn't trust them."

There must have been something in her voice or on her face, because Gibbs's expression softened slightly. "DiNozzo, go fetch the doctor and nurse," he ordered, sternly.

"On it, boss," Tony nodded. His eyes flickered towards Evelyn, before he walked out of the door and it shut softly behind him.

Evelyn pressed her forehead into her hands, and ran her fingers through her hair. The tension coiled along her spine, and something in her chest felt loose. Felt shaky and fragile. It was a feeling that she did not like, or want.

There was a long moment where Gibbs stared at her, his cool and assessing. "That's why you came to NCIS," he spoke, his voice monotone and calm. His expression was blank once again, but his hands had curled into fists in his lap. "For protection."

It took Evelyn a moment to speak around the lump in her throat. "Yes," her voice was barely held over the constant beeps of the heart monitor. The pace was too fast to be normal. "I…I gathered information that I knew would be useful."

"Information you knew the United States government would be willing to give you protection for," Lucas commented, the lines around his eyes pronounced as he stared down at her. Their pasts had been more alike than he had ever realized.

Evelyn nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Information on who?" Fornell asked.

"Anything and everything I thought would be worth something," Evelyn whispered out, her eyes swollen and red. At this point, the ice fear in her veins had settled into resigned chill and she knew that everything was going to change. No longer would there be the trust between her and her father. No trust between her and the team. All broken because she held the truth in for too long. "I just wanted to be able to live without having to look over my shoulder. I thought if I…I made connections at NCIS then I would be able to us the information to buy protection just in case."

Gibbs sat in the chair completely still before turning to Evelyn. "You've been keeping this from me?" He demanded, his voice sharp, and grave. He needed to her say it out loud. "For _months_? And not once did you say anything?"

Evelyn opened her mouth, only to snap it shut. She didn't have anything to say. There was nothing she could say. She could give a number of apologies and explanations, but in her heart, she did not believe them to be enough. "I don't know what you want me to say," Evelyn whispered out.

Gibbs's jaw clenched. As much as he didn't like it, he understood the motive of self preservation. Even more so after…all she had been through. His heart shriveled up inside of his chest, and a dark rage bloomed in the pit of his stomach. She should never had to go through that. He should have been able to protect her from that. He was her father! That was his job, and he had failed at it. Gibbs stared, with his face blank but gaze intent. "Were you ever going to tell me, Evelyn?"

Evelyn didn't need to be a mind reader to figure out what he meant, and she felt her stomach twist into knots. She swallowed thickly, her mouth dry and her eyes met her fathers. "No. Not at first," she admitted, a flash of shame crossed her face. When she had first arrived in D.C., telling the truth had not been in her plan and she knew she couldn't lie about that. She had already lied so much. If the truth was going to be out there, it needed to be all out there. "When I first…started at NCIS, I wasn't going to tell, but that change—" She didn't even get to finish before Gibbs cringed back from her, and he rose up out of his seat. She could feel him shut down on her, feel him draw himself away and build a wall. Just like when she first joined the team, only this was a hundred times worse.

He restrained himself, and it was a hard effort. She looked so lost, and so pained that he wished nothing more than to soothe it away. However, right now it would only make things worse. His hands clenched into fists at his side, and he let out a long breath slowly to cool his nerves. Gibbs gave her one last glance, then he walked right out of the room.

Evelyn's jaw ached, her teeth gnashed together and guilt clogged her throat as the muscles in her chest tightened and squeezed. Her entire body hurt, from her head to her toes as the blatant rejection he gave. She valiantly kept the tears back, and looked downward at the hospital bed unable to breath for several moments. Finally, she raised her head and her eyes fell to Fornell. "Anything you'd like to ask?" She said, her voice as chilled as the artic. "Or are we done here?"

"We are done," Fornell said. "For now."

* * *

Jackson Gibbs did not expect a knock at his door, especially not this late at night. It was nearly midnight, but he had been up anyways watching an old black and white movie when the knock made him jolt to his feet. His heart leapt in his chest, and his old bones ached at the sudden movement. He let out a groan as his back popped, but he made his way to the door anyways. "Leroy?" He said, shocked to see his son upon his doorstep.

Gibbs looked tired. More so than usual.

"Can I come in?" Gibbs asked, gruffly.

Jackson smiled, slightly. Some things just didn't change. "Do you think that I'd leave you out on the doorstep?" He asked, opening the door a little wider.

"Wouldn't put it past you on a bad day," Gibbs said, walking into the home. It unlike so many other things in his life hadn't changed, and he never thought he could be more grateful for that than he was now. He hadn't intended ending up on his father's doorstep, but as soon as he sped off in car—he couldn't stay there and think—the road led him here. He hadn't wanted to leave Evelyn, he hadn't, but he didn't trust himself in that moment not to demand answers. Not to say something he might later to regret in a burst of anger, and he didn't want to take it out on her. He couldn't do that to her.

"Lucky for you it's a good one, then ain't it?" Jackson smirked, but his solemn blue eyes stared down at his son back. He'd have to be blind not to see the line of tension that was upon his shoulder, and concern rose in him. He didn't know how to express it, because Gibbs always go defensive once he showed any amount of concern. "So what brings you to my doorstep at this time of night?" He asked, nonchalantly as he could.

Gibbs drew in a deep breath, then released it. "Don't suppose you have any coffee?" He asked, walking towards the kitchen without looking back.

_Classic Leroy, _Jackson sighed. His son was a master at avoidance, but Jackson would wear him down slowly and get to the heart of the matter. He was a father, and that's what he did best. "The pot is ready to start brewing. Just hit the button," Jackson instructed, coming into the kitchen. He got two cups out of the cabinets then took a seat a the table while Gibbs glared down the coffee pot after pressing the button as if to will to brew a little faster. Jackson knew that it wasn't possible, but he would swear that the inanimate thing did start pouring faster just to get Gibbs's glare off of it.

Jackson sat patiently and silently, waiting until the coffee was done and his son came over to the table with the coffee pot in hand. "So…you finally going to tell me what this is about or would you prefer me to guess?" Jackson took the cup of coffee gratefully though he doubted he would drink. If he did then he was not getting any sleep tonight, and he would pay for it tomorrow.

Gibbs didn't answer right away. He stared down at the brown liquid that filled the cup, and he could make out his distorted reflection. "It's about Kelly," he said, his lips twisted downward.

Jackson's expression fell. He had never expected that. They didn't talk much about his granddaughter, especially after Shannon and Kelly's death. Even after Gibbs started talking and visiting him again, it was a subject that just wasn't brought up. It was a no man's land. "What…uh," Jackson struggled to find a way to ask his son about Kelly. "What about Kelly?"

"She's…" Gibbs paused. "She's alive."

"What?" Jackson reeled back. "What do you mean she's alive?" He couldn't comprehend what that meant, because surely he had misheard his son.

"It means…she's alive," Gibbs swallowed. "Kelly's alive."

Jackson stared at his son for a long moment. "Leroy…have you been getting enough sleep? Have you been working long hours? I told you not to push you—"

"This has nothing to do with lack of sleep, or amount of stress. I am not delusional, even though every moment I ask myself if I am," Gibbs snapped, then raked a hand down his face. "Kelly is alive. She is alive. My daughter is alive," he whispered out, a knuckle white grip on the coffee cup.

"How?" Jackson asked. He scarcely believed it.

"I…I don't know. I haven't asked," Gibbs sighed.

"You haven't asked? Why the hell not?" Jackson asked, incredulity in his gaze. He stood up from his chair, and paced the length of the floor. "Kelly…little Kelly is alive, and you didn't think to ask how? How any of this is possible?"

"I was a bit out of my element," Gibbs shot him a dark look. "I had just learned that a member of my team has been lying to my face for months, and she is my daughter!"

Jackson stood there, and fiddled with the buttons of his shirts nervously. "Tell me everything," he demanded, his heart pounding in his chest.

Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose. He explained how Evelyn Matthews came to be on his team, he explained about every moment he thought she had been holding back, and how the truth all came out.

"She's in the hospital?" Jackson latched onto that piece of information to start with. "Then what are you doing here for, Leroy? Why aren't you there for her?"

"I want to be there!" Gibbs glowered. "I do…" He said, a bit less vehemently. His chest felt tight and the coffee tasted more bitter upon his tongue than usually, with no relief. "But I don't know how. I am torn between being relieved and punching the wall. I want to be there, but not if I am going say something I know I will regret. I can't say for certain that I won't, and I don't want to do that to her. She's already been through enough…"

"Oh, Leroy," Jackson swiped his hand down his face. "You can't outrun this. I know there is a lot of grief, and a lot of pain attached to this, but you have been handed a miracle. A honest miracle. Do you know what people would give up for those? How far they are willing to go to make them happen? Because they don't happen everyday! Damnit, Leroy, you can't let the fear of pain get in your way because if you do, you are underestimating the connection between a father and a daughter. And if you think you can just let Evelyn walk away from this because you're afraid and never look back, never wonder…then you wouldn't be the man that I know that you are."

Gibbs clenched his teeth tightly. Pain. It would always been there when he thought of Shannon and Kelly. It would always be attached to every good memory, and hurt like hell when he thought of the bad ones. The pain would go away, people had said. You just have to ride it out. But it never went away, not really. He managed it, pushed to the back of his mind and kept it locked away as tightly as he could. But it always kept creeping back in, hitting when he least expected it. "Why? Just why did she not tell me?" Gibbs asked, his voice rough and raggedy with emotions. "Why didn't she trust me?"

Jackson looked at him, compassionately. "I can't tell you her motives, or why she did what she did. Only she can tell you that. That being said," he said, placing a hand upon his son's shoulder. "You need to be there. Even if you don't see her right away, even if you need a day to catch your breath, but you need to be there. So go be there."

"I know," Gibbs whispered.

"Then what the hell are you waiting for?"

* * *

The ceiling was white. The walls were white.

Evelyn couldn't fight the sick sense of déjà vu that overwhelmed her, remembering waking up with no sense of who she was in that hospital all those years ago. The nurse fixed her with a new IV drip and while her physical pain dripped away, the medicine could not stave off the emotional kind. She was utterly exhaustion, as if she had been scrap raw from the inside out and her bleeding soul was all that was left. There was moments in her life that she called everything into question. Her relationships, her choices, her job. It was a natural process that everyone faced, but never had she felt so uncertain of any of her choices before.

Now, she felt like she had screwed up. She knew she had screwed up. There had been so much better ways than the one that she had chosen, and yet it was too late to turn back now. Perhaps if she had gone to her father like her gut told her so many times these past few months, it wouldn't have been this bad. She knew it wouldn't have been good. Lying was still lying, even if there had been a reason behind it.

But he would have _understood_. He would have understood if the truth had came from her, but to learn it like this…She realized that her reason were nothing more than excuses. Her attempts at biding her time were merely a façade to protect herself from pain, and hurt. She spectacularly failed at that, a bitter laugh didn't quite make it past her lips. If she had told the truth sooner, then maybe it wouldn't feel like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest, and ripped all into tiny piece then tried to shove it back in. Maybe it wouldn't feel like she just lost any chance she had at having a relationship with her father.

It had almost been two days since she had been stabbed her, and she just wanted to go home. She was done. She wanted to be done with all questioning, NCIS and FBI alike, she wanted to be done the doctor and nurses hovering about. She just wanted to curl in her bed, and never see the light of day again. She felt overwhelmed, and emotionally drained. The truth was out there, and now everyone knew. There was no hiding anymore, and pain twisted in her chest as she stared up at the ceiling. She was only faintly aware of the nurse changing the IV drip, when she thought about Gibbs.

He hadn't come back.

That hurt worse than him getting up and walking out. Every doubt and every fear became more pronounced in that moment. The rejection stung her more deeply and keenly than she had been prepared for. She craned her neck up off the pillow when the door cracked open and frowned when Lucas came walking.

"Are you alright?" Lucas asked, walking over to her bed side. Her blue eyes caught his, and he saw several things flash through her irises.

She let out a harsh breath, and looked away. "What are you doing here Lucas?" Evie asked, her voice toneless. Guilt was eating away at her, relentlessly, and she wasn't entirely she could handling the mixture of volatile feelings that Lucas induced on top of it. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to if she was going to be perfectly honest.

He frowned. "I came to see you. I was worried about you. How are you? Are you in pain?" Lucas glanced over at the nurse, suspiciously.

"Nothing I can't manage," Evelyn said on a breath. "So now that you've seen me, you going to be on your merry way?"

"Eager to get rid of me?" Lucas arched an eyebrow.

Evelyn's brows furrowed, an uncomfortable tightness around her chest. "Maybe," she said, lightly. Her fingers curled gently against her palms, the fabric of the sheet scratched unpleasantly against her skin. Another thing that made her long for home. "I don't know."

Lucas, to his credit, didn't look disheartened or offend by the remark. Instead, he bowed his head with a rueful smile. "My own fault I suppose," he commented, a note of self deprecation rang loud enough for Evelyn to hear and made her glance up at him. "I never wanted to hurt you. I know that might not mean much given the circumstances, but I hope that some place in your heart that you believe it."

A breath shuddered through her. "I know," she whispered out, and there was a sliver of her heart that believed him. The rest of it rejected the very thought because she wasn't sure if she would be able to forgive him. _Hypocrite, _a voice came from the back of her mind. _You wish for Gibbs to forgive you for your lie, and yet you cannot let yourself for Lucas? _"They'll keep me for another couple of days. Although the doctor wants me to stay longer, but I think he's being overly cautious."

"You were _stabbed, _Evelyn," Lucas said, sternly. "There is no such thing as over cautious."

"The doctor said none of my organs were touched," Evelyn countered back, her expression and voice just as stubborn as his.

"A miracle in itself," Lucas grounded out.

"A miracle or not, I am better. I am perfectly healthy save for the stitches…holding me together," her voice trembled lightly at that. She hadn't wanted to look at her stomach, but how could she avoid it when the doctor changed the bandages? Over three hundred stitches kept her skin together and her inside from becoming her outsides. A cold, clammy sweat broken out along her skin, and she couldn't help let out a tiny moan of despair.

"What is it?" Lucas asked. "Are you in pain?"

Evelyn just shook her head. "Lucas…" She valiantly tried to fall into crying because it only made her stomach hurt worse, and that was something she really would like to avoid. "I can't do this. Right now with you. I can't. I am…I am not trying to be cruel, but…"

Lucas looked away from her, his jaw clenched. She could see a million difference thoughts crossed his face, the shadows grew more pronounced and she felt a knife twist in her heart. "I understand," he said, his voice completely emotionless. As devoid of anything like it had been when she had confronted him on his lies, and he flashed her one quick grin—the kind that did not meet his eyes—and walked back out of the room.

Evelyn laid there, struck with an overload of emotion. As she settled against the pillow, too tired to do anything else, she heard that poem recited in Lucas's voice pass through her mind.

_There is a Smile of Love _

_And there is a Smile of Deceit _

_And there is a Smile of Smiles _

_In which these two Smiles meet _

_And there is a Frown of Hate _

_And there is a Frown of disdain _

_And there is a Frown of Frowns _

_Which you strive to forget in vain _

_For it sticks in the Hearts deep Core _

_And it sticks in the deep Back bone _

_And no Smile that ever was smild _

_But only one Smile alone _

_That betwixt the Cradle &amp; Grave _

_It only once Smild can be _

_But when it once is Smild _

_There's an end to all Misery_

Idly, Evelyn wondered why William Blake did not delve further into the smile of deceit—a hollow smile, one that was give, but never reached the eyes. Perhaps he didn't have the words, or perhaps…some things were better left unmentioned. The image of Gibbs walking out followed by one of Lucas repeated over and over inside her mind's eye, and she clenched her eyes tightly closed. She turned her head, burying it into the pillow to hide away from everyone and everything even if for only a moment.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**I wanted Gibbs's reaction to be different. One, in the first TGiM, Evelyn told Gibbs the truth which lessened the blow. In this one, Gibbs found out from someone else which only makes the lies much worse. In the previous version, it was set in Season Two so Gibbs didn't have the relationship with his father and that was something I definitely wanted to bring in this story. Don't worry, Elle fans, she will be in the next chapter. :D**

**References:**

**1.) "Smile" by William Blake (If you guys have forgotten)**

RRS are appreciated. :D


	20. Carry Your Heart

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/Jenny

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333, rockrose, lucksby92, reader29, jenny14, haeraquill, SnowLeopard167, jayesh, Dreamsb223 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean, EmmieRaeJean, LegalAddiction20, MusicLover500, rockrose, reader29, and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _CandyHearts22, BurnedSpy, DS2010, MaryArtemis__**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**Inspired by the song:**

"Letters" by Matt Corby

"Standing at the Edge of the Earth" by Blessed Union of Souls

"Shadows" by Red

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

"**Carry Your Heart"**

"_**Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves—regrets of the past and fear of the future." –Eulton Oursler**_

* * *

Light poured in through the windows, lighting up the entire off in the pale light of day. It was so quiet. Too quiet that it seemed that she was working in a tomb than at NCIS. "I don't know what you want me to do, Jethro," Jenny Shepard said, exasperated. Her expression was of a patience worn thin as she cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder. "She worked for a foreign nation in an agency known for spying and lied about her identity. If it wasn't for the fact that she had done good work in the time that she has been here, or the fact that she is your daughter, I would have her badge on my desk already and be forced to leave her to the wolves. But I won't…because while I'm Machiavellian bitch most times, I wouldn't do that to you or her."

"_Just…" _Gibbs heaved a sigh on the other side of the phone. _"Just how much time can you give me, Jen? Before I can expect agents to show up for questioning?"_

"Well, I've managed to placate SecNav by telling that Evelyn had information that she wishes to barter with. Allied nation or not, knowledge is power. That should give you a few hours before the hounds are unleashed," Jenny breathed out, scribbling her signature on a piece of paper. As far as she was concerned this was only marginally different from bringing Ziva on as a liaison, though it would have been nice not to have been blindsided like this. "I will try to get them to set up something here in NCIS after she is healed, but I can't make that a promise. Now…how are you doing, Jethro?"

"_That's a loaded question, Jen."_

"I'm listening," Jenny whispered. She couldn't imagine what he was going through to learn that the agent on his team all this time had been his daughter, and that wasn't even adding the factors of why Evelyn Matthews joined NCIS.

There was a beat. _"Maybe once I have answer, I'll let you know."_

Jenny sighed when she heard the click, and she placed the phone back into the cradle. Running her fingers through her hair, she cracked her neck and went back to the paperwork that was her current headache. Why did she want to be Director again?

* * *

"I just can't believe it."

"Can't believe what, McGee?" Ziva prompted. They all sat in the Squadroom because while one of them was injured, the case still needed to be worked on.

"That all this time Evelyn has been Kelly Gibbs," McGee lifted his gaze from his computer screen and whirled around to look at Tony then at Ziva. "I mean…how could she walk in here day in and day out and manage to lie right to Gibbs's face? Not that we all haven't tried to keep stuff under wraps, but usually with a Gibbs's glare then we spill the beans. Evelyn's been hiding this for months."

"For years," Tony corrected, after he sighed. He leaned back in his computer chair and looked out across the room, still unnerved by the lack of Gibbs and Evelyn here. "It just us that she had been hiding it from for months, but you know what they say about secrets. If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself."

"How insightful, Tony," Ziva said, but her voice lacked her usual bite. She ran her fingertips across the keyboard, but her brows were knotted together. A troubled expression graced her face.

"You've got to admit that it's true," Tony said, with a half smile. "If you are going to lie, you have to believe it with all your heart…otherwise, it shows."

"I suppose," McGee nodded, a light frown on his face. "But why keep it a secret at all?"

"There are many reasons to keep a secret, but more often than not…it is to protect those that we love as much as it is meant to protect ourselves," Ziva replied, with a sympathetic little smile. "I have to admit that when she first arrived…I had a feeling that Evelyn was hiding something. It made me very suspicious, but I…I eventually let my misgivings go when it became apparent that Evelyn's loyalties laid firmly behind Gibbs. I know understand why."

Silence fell over the three of them, and after a moment, they all went back to work.

* * *

"Why is it so white?"

"What is white?" The nurse asked, after checking her vitals.

"Why is everything in this hospital so white?" Evelyn demanded, her blue eyes narrowed on the room around her. "The walls, the ceiling, the floor, the blankets…all of it so white. There's no color, or life. It's so quiet that the sounds from the machines is deafening. It stinks like cleaning supplies, and hand sanitizer, it's enough to drive a person crazy."

Evelyn didn't handle being in the hospital with grace. Sitting around idly was never her forte, and the things upon her mind did not give her any rest. Her mind kept flashing back to the moment when her father got up and walked away. When she tried to put that away Lucas would appear in her mind, and she felt her heart twist painfully. She let a slow long breath, and ran her fingers through her hair when the door opened up. Her head shot up, and she saw an elderly man walk into the room. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she watched him hold the door open for the nurse who left rather quickly.

Evelyn didn't understand. He didn't look like NCIS or FBI, dressed in blue jacket and jeans. Why did the guards posted at her hospital door let him through then? He didn't say a word as he came to stand beside her hospital bed, and clasped his hands in front of him. Her eyes searched his face for several moments, and she felt something. Something in the back of her mind, a nagging feeling that would not go away.

"I know your face," Evelyn shifted to sit up slightly, her blue eyes raked across the old man's smiling face and he came to stand beside her bed side. He didn't speak, not right away, and held a look of infinite patience in his light blue eyes. She peered up into the smiling man, something stirred in the back of her mind. There was something familiar about him, but still he said nothing, content to leave her to figure it out on her own. "Where do I know your face?" She asked, quietly.

The older man didn't seem offended in the slightest. In fact, there was a gentle understanding in his expression that puzzled Evelyn to no end. "Well, I believe last time I saw you were a great deal younger and covered in mind," the man said, with a warm chuckle. He clasped his hands in front of him, "Well, I believe last time I saw you were a great deal younger and covered in mud."

Evelyn's brow pinched. It was only two seconds later did clarity flash through her eye. "You're…" she hesitated, biting her lower lip. There was tug on her heart, and she felt her lungs tighten painfully as she pieced together inside her mind as those blue eyes stared her down. There were several seconds before she managed to grasp the courage to speak again. "You're my…grandfather."

The words tasted strange in her mouth and completely awkward as they flowed off her tongue. There was almost a child-like wonder as she stared up at him now, and a helpless kind of feeling swelled up in her chest. She didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. The man smiled, faintly. "Yes, I am," he stated, quietly. "I am here with your father. He's outside on the phone."

Evelyn knew he added that last bit in for her sake. Could he see the uncertainty that was inside of her? The fear of rejection that had only grew in the last few days, poisoning every thought or feeling she had. "He's here? He came back?" Her voice sounded far off and distinctly childlike. She felt a tremble run through and she clutched the blanket between her fingers.

"He's here," Jackson repeated, quietly. He grasped the nearby chair and scooted to the edge of the bed before he carefully sat down. His blue eyes studied for a long moment, and he could practically see the panic building in her eyes. It was surreal thinking of the little girl he had known all those years ago was sitting before him as a woman, but for all that she changed, in so many ways she had remained the same. He could have taken Jethro by the ear for not seeing that this was Kelly sooner, but he merely internally sighed.

Evelyn looked at him when several seconds ticked by. "Are you going to ask?" She finally asked, when it seemed that he was content to just sit there with infinite patience.

"Ask what?" Jackson asked. She gave him a narrowed eyed look, one that was such like her mother that it made his smile broaden. She was trying to figure out if he was intentionally giving her the run around, or he was actually genuine.

"Questions," she elaborated, slowly. It was like standing in wet sand as the wave pulled back, and flailing about unable to keep her balance. Here was her grandfather, a man that she should have been unable to trust, and a person that shouldn't be a stranger at all. A piece of her deep inside felt like it had shaken loose, and apprehension crawled across her skin like a living thing. "You must have them. If the roles were reversed, I certainly would."

"Preparing yourself for the Spanish Inquisition I see?" Jackson mused, out loud.

A scowl crossed Evelyn's face. "Already been through it actually," she muttered, darkly. Her trigger finger itched during the whole interrogation, and those agents would never know how lucky they were that she didn't have her gun on her.

Jackson gave a hum of sympathy as he studied her. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop, like an animal that has been wounded too much for far too long and doesn't know any better than to bite. His heart panged for her and the lost years that could never be made up for. "I have questions. I won't lie and say that I do not, but I'm not going to force you to answer them," he told her, simply. "If it's important…you'll let us know in time when you are ready to talk about it. The only question I have to ask—and it's the most important one of all—is…are you alright?"

Evelyn stared at him, her heart pounding in her chest and the blanket clutched between her fingers. It took several seconds for what he said to sink, and when it did…she felt completely at a loss. The last few days all it had been were people forcing answers out of her, and to suddenly have someone standing here offering her comfort. It was almost inconceivable to her tired, exhausted mind. "I…" She swallowed, the tension seeping out of her shoulders. "I'm getting there."

"That's good," he said, with a smile. He reached out and patted her hand gently and carefully not to startle her. "You had a lot of people worried, you know?"

Evelyn loosened her hold on the blanket, her eyes downcast. "I know that," she breathed out, and her brows furrowed together. She raised her gaze to him, and her eyes searched his face. "How…how is he?"

Jackson didn't answer straight away. "He's...dealing," he replied, not wishing to foist anymore guilt upon her. It was obvious she was already punishing her with it already.

"I suppose…that's better than the alternative," she said, her tone measured and her words chosen carefully. Dealing was better than anger, at least. She could handle that. Her expression went somber, and another sigh worked up through her throat. "I wish I had a way to fix all this. To make things right somehow, but I have no idea how."

"And who says that is supposed to be your job?" Jackson tilted his head to the side, and his eyes narrowed slightly. "You can't fix everything wrong with the world. So you made some choices that didn't turn out the way you had hoped. Who hasn't? You hardly ever know the change your decisions will make. If we did, I doubt that we would have ended up here, but it's where we are. Life isn't holding onto the past. It's about holding onto the things that matter, and cherishing the time that you have with them."

"But…" Evelyn hesitated. She didn't open up to people easy, but everything in her heart was telling her to trust this man…her grandfather. Her stomach twisted into painful knots, and she shook her head slightly. "But what if those things you hold onto hurt you?"

"Everybody is going to hurt you, in some way or form. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for," Jackson said, clasping his hand over hers and gave it a comforting squeeze. "He knows you're worth it. Your father…hell, he's emotional constipated and I know he gets it from me." A watery laugh escaped Evelyn, and it made Jackson relax the tiniest bit. "Just don't give up on him. He hasn't given up on you. He has never given up on you."

At that moment, Gibbs walked in.

Evelyn felt air gush through her, a relief that she did not expect flooded through her at the sight of him. Her jaw clenched, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "You're…here," she said, after a long moment. "You're really here."

"I'm here," Gibbs said, his voice even and his expression is reserved.

Her eyes flickered toward Jackson for a second, then back at her father. It took her several second to work up something to say, but finally she found her voice. "I'm glad," she said, sincerely. "I…I'm glad you came back."

Gibbs stood there, his body almost as still as a statue save for his hands that clenched and unclenched. "I…" He sighed, and ran a hand down his face. "I should have never left."

"Damn right you shouldn't have," Jackson stated, sending Gibbs a reprimand with a single look. "You are stubborn to a fault, Leroy."

"And whose fault is that?" Gibbs shot him a look.

Jackson just chuckled.

Evelyn's eyes went from one to the other, and that weight on her chest seemed to get heavier. This…_this _was what her life should have been. To have these people in her life, and not have to sit here still unsure of her welcome into their lives. "Gibbs…" she started, feeling like she was swallowing glass. The longer she stared at him, searching for the words she couldn't find the more the ache in her chest grew.

Gibbs stared at those eyes. His daughter's eyes that were silently pleading with him for some kind of forgiveness, and reassurance that he wasn't sure how to give. "Why didn't you just tell me, Evelyn?" He asked, taking a step forward towards the bed. He wished it was as simple as taking her in his arms, and singing her favorite lullaby like when she was a kid. But she wasn't a kid anymore, and thought was like a punch to the gut.

"I…" Evelyn's voice broke. "I…don't know. I—" Before she could even continue onward, the door was shoved open once more, but this time Lucas. Her heart stuttered upon sight of him, a thing she couldn't deny for the heart monitor beeped furiously behind her. "What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice rough as she internally wrestled with the emotions inside of her.

"That is an excellent question," Gibbs said, his voice filled with aggravation. He felt Evelyn was about to reach out to him, he could feel that she was about to let him in, and he couldn't help the bolt of disappointed anger that rose up within him when he saw her retreat back into her cell.

Lucas gave Gibbs a deadly look, and his jaw clenched. He had a feeling that one day, and one day soon, he and the silver haired man would have it out over the girl in that hospital bed. He pursed his lips together, and looked towards Evelyn. She looked better than the last time he had seen him, but only just. While she was clearly getting better physically, he could see the waves of emotional exhaustion come off of her. Her posture practically screamed defeat which was far from the woman that he had come to love. "Fornell called me. Told me to meet him here," Lucas informed him, coolly.

"What does Fornell want now?" Gibbs groused.

"He didn't say," Lucas said, shortly. His blue eyes then turned back towards Evelyn, and the expression on his face softened ever so slightly. "How are you feeling?"

Evelyn was tempted to ignore him, but something in his eyes just wouldn't let her. "I'm fine," she stated, woodenly. "Yourself?"

Lucas's lips twitched ever so slightly. "Been better," he admitted, a self-deprecating tone to his voice. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets to keep himself for reaching for her. His fingers ached to fill the space between hers, to hold her hand in some way of comfort because he knew that words would not be enough here. "The doctors say that if everything goes well, you will be able to go home tomorrow. Under someone's care that is."

Her stomach jolted. Go home? She sat up a little straighter, a flare of hope in her eyes. "Really?" She barely dared to hope that she would be out of this place.

"Looks that way, Matthews."

Evelyn groaned, much to Lucas's amusement as Fornell came into the room. "I thought those agents were supposed to keep out. Not let everyone and their brother in," she stated, dryly.

Jackson shared a look with Gibbs. A silent thought went between them, and how much Evelyn was like Shannon in that moment. Shannon was a sweet woman, but she had a dry, sarcastic humor when the occasion called for it.

"I see that someone is better," Fornell counted, eyebrow arched.

"What do you want, Fornell?" Lucas said, through gritted teeth. He leaned casually against the edge of Evelyn's bed, acting as a barrier between him and Evelyn.

"I am here on the matter of where Evelyn is going to go when she is released from the hospital," Fornell stated, his hands clasped behind his back. His expression was carefully composed as if he were preparing to face the brunt of the storm.

"Why would that be any of your business?" Evelyn arched a brow, a foreboding knot in the pit of her stomach.

"Someone is after you, Matthews," Fornell gave her a flat look. "Whether it be this Tarasov character," he continued on, not acknowledging the hard flinch Evelyn gave, "or someone else that has gotten knowledge of your previous employment. So you are in need protecting, aren't you?"

Evelyn bit the inside of her cheek. She couldn't deny that given everything that had happened, and she crossed her arms loosely over her chest. "Again that is your concern…why?"

"You are a concern to several people, Agent Matthews. You have sensitive information that someone thinks is worth killing for. Let's be realistic here, did you think you were going to get out of this hospital without someone's eyes on you?" Fornell told her, a wry smirk on his lips. "Give all that has happened?"

"Why don't you just get to the point…Fornell, was it?" Jackson stated, sitting up a little straighter. He didn't appreciate the FBI agent giving them the run around, and he could see the tension build within Gibbs like a bow string.

"I doubt that you care to go into Witness Protection…" Fornell stated, slowly. He held up his hands when Gibbs twisted towards him, a thunderous look in his eyes.

"Hell no," Evelyn glowered. She absolutely refused to go into Witness Protection, because look at what doing that got her and her mother. Nothing, but death and pain.

Fornell smirked. "So it's decided. You don't want to go into Witness Protection, means you'll have an agent assigned to you. Lucas will be your guard for the foreseeable future."

Evelyn gaped. "E-excuse me?" She demanded, her eyes snapping to Lucas's face. She saw a momentary flash of surprise in his eyes before he schooled his features, and some of the anger slipped out of her when she realized he was caught just as unaware as she was. But not by much, she twisted a vicious glare back on Fornell. "No."

"You don't want to get uprooted, sent away? This is your only option," Fornell told her, flat out. "There are several people who would love to get their hands on information on MI-5 or NCIS for that matter. You're a liability, so stop being a pain in the ass."

"Enough, Fornell," Gibbs stated, sharply. "She'll do it."

"Gibbs…" Evelyn began to protest.

"You don't have a choice in this," Gibbs spoke over her, and leveled a look at her. While he wasn't thrilled with the idea of Lucas North being so close to his daughter (he still owed him that punch), he didn't disagree with Fornell. "Your life is at stake. You've been attacked. Twice. These people do not care if they get you alive, or would rather have you dead. You're going to have a guard, and you are going to like it."

Evelyn had a feeling she looked like a petulant child. She certainly felt like one, but in her heart she knew that they were right. Even if her heart was still…hurt over Lucas, she had to appreciate the fact that she nearly died and scared them a great deal. _I can do this. I can do this. I can just wait this out. It doesn't have to mean I've forgiven him, or that I've forgotten. It's about staying safe, that's all, _she told herself, chewing her lower lip between her teeth.

Lucas watched the emotions play across Evelyn's face. Her heart was on her sleeve, and her thoughts were on her face for him to see. As unexpected as this turn of events were, he could not help, but to be pleased with them. Guarding Evelyn gave him a chance to be close to her, to bridge the gap between them if he could.

Evelyn's neck convulsed for several moments when she was trying to find the strength to speak. Her fingernails bit into the palm of her hands, and she released a deep long breath. "I really don't have a choice, do I?" She asked, her voice meek and quiet with defeat.

Gibbs sighed. "No. You don't. Not in this."

Evelyn's eyes went distant, and she nodded. "Okay. Fine. We'll do it your way. You go…figure everything out, and I…I'm really tired. I think I need sleep." It was a clear dismissal for all the men in the room, and Evelyn watched them all file out of the room before she buried her face into hands.

* * *

Lucas did not wish to leave her. He wanted to stay at her bedside no matter what she said, but fighting with her would only make everything much worse. He didn't want that. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had. He looked up as the older man, obviously Gibbs's father, approached him. He quickly hid his frustration behind a veil of politeness and he quirked up an eyebrow. "Is there something you needed?" Lucas asked, after the man studied him for a long moment.

"Just trying to see what kind of man is going to be in charge of protecting my granddaughter," Jackson stated, his chin rose ever so slightly. "Hmm. I see."

"You see what?" Lucas asked, a bit of suspicion in his voice.

"You know they say that you can judge a man based on the shadows that you see in his soul. You have a lot of shadows, Mr. North, was it?" Jackson flashed him a sharp smile that still held a lethal edge that even age could not disguise. "If anything happens to her on your watch…there won't be a place on hell or earth that you can hide from me."

The man did not wait for a reply, he merely walked over toward Gibbs. Lucas watched him for a long moment, and his hands were curled into white knuckle fists at his side. He looked at the door, the only barrier between him and Evelyn. He reached out, his fingertips brushed against it. _I won't let anything hurt you ever again, Evelyn. Not if I can help it, _he vowed, silently before he turned on his heel and stalked towards Fornell.

Lucas would kill Tarasov, and anyone else who dared to try lay a hand on her. No matter what it took.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER! Hope you all enjoyed.**

**Next chapter: Grandpa Gibbs and Evelyn bond. Lucas takes Evelyn home, and tension arises between them while the team closes in on a lead.**

**I want everyone to know that I am posting this on 'Archive of Our Own', and that on that site it will have bonus chapters, extra stuff, and fanart. It will also be rated Expilicit, so the scenes I can't post on here due to rules, you will be able to read there.**

**RRs are appreciated.**


	21. Back to Normal or Not

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/Jenny

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333, rockrose, lucksby92, reader29, jenny14, haeraquill, SnowLeopard167, jayesh, Dreamsb223, Storywriter905, EQfan74, katrin lily, Voldymoldy666 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean, EmmieRaeJean, LegalAddiction20, MusicLover500, rockrose, reader29, EQfan74, nkaul12321, samanthakp, Voldymoldy666, MarieSeleneArroyo, Tiniii25 and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _CandyHearts22, BurnedSpy, DS2010, MaryArtemis, Mayflowers123__**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**Inspired by the song:**

"Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware

"Undefeated" by Chris Daughtry

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

"Back To Normal...Or Not"

* * *

The wheels on the wheelchair squeaked as they rolled down the hallway. Evelyn had a knuckle white grip on the arms of it, and tension was coiled tightly in the back of her neck. Her pulse pounded in her throat, and she fought the urge to glance over at her father who walked silently beside her. He had been like a shadow these last few days. He was there, but the words that had been passed between them had been little to few. And Lucas, who stood on her other side. Her "body guard" had also been there, and it only increased the anxiety flowing through her veins. Admittedly a great deal of this anxiety was self induced. If she only had been honest and told the truth instead of getting stabbed then there wouldn't be a wall between her and her father. If she only would allow her heart to speak, then there wouldn't be a wall between her and Lucas either.

However, those walls had been built upon scars. Horrible, nightmarish things that had been branded upon her heart with a whitehot iron of pain. Evelyn let out a shaky breath, absentmindedly listening to the nurse who rattled off what exactly she needed to do in the next few weeks. Bedrest, taking it easy, blah, blah. It was all white noise to Evelyn. The doors of the hospital slid open, and Evelyn drew in her first breath of fresh air. There was a hint of winter still clinging to the air, and small piles of snow scattered around. It made a knot well up in her throat as she remembered the igloo that her and Lucas had made. It had been the first time she allowed all her walls to come down, to let herself get lost in that moment with him and entertain the idea that just maybe she could have a normal healthy relationship.

How quickly that idea had fallen apart.

"How are you feeling?" Jackson Gibbs smiled from where he stood by a simple black unmarked car with Fornell, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Good," Evelyn smiled the best she could. She had a feeling he could see right through it. Having her grandfather back in her life had been an unexpected blessing, a rock in the storm that was her life. "Been better. How about you? How are you feeling?" She inquired, softly.

"I'm doing just fine," Jackson assured her. "Now, let's get you out of that chair, and on your way home?"

"Sounds like a plan," Evelyn said, the edges of her smile smoothing out into something softer.

Gibbs watched the exchanged, and damnit, he couldn't help the burn of jealous that rolled through his stomach. His father had figured out to connect to Evelyn in a way that Gibbs was struggling with. It was like walking through sand with weights tied to his feet, and each breath felt like he was drowning. He watched as Fornell opened the door, and he reached out automatically to help her out of the chair. He gave North the evil eye when he realized the man did the same.

Evelyn tensed, her eyes flickered to both the offered hands and bit back a sigh. The two absolutely hated each other, and it only seemed to have gotten worse. Gritting her teeth, Evelyn managed to get to her feet and stumble into the car herself. She slid into the seat and collapsed against the door. Jackson slid into the passenger seat and Lucas took the driver seat after a nod to Fornell. Her blue eyes flickered towards Gibbs who sat in the backseat beside her, and shut the door behind him.

It was stifling in the car. The roiling tension seemed to reach overwhelming heights and the silence did nothing to stop it. Evelyn wrapped her arms around herself, forcing herself not to jump when the car started to move. "Has there been…any progress? On Tarasov?" She asked, though she didn't really care in this moment. She just wanted to fill the silence.

Lucas's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "As far as we can tell he is laying low. This recent attack on your life has generated too much scrutiny for his liking," he stated, feeling the heat of a glare on the back of his head. Gibbs and Fornell may want Evelyn not to worry about Tarasov, or know anything more about the case, but Lucas had hurt her once by hiding the truth. He would not do so again.

"That's not good," she breathed out.

"No, it's not," Gibbs agreed, darkly. His eyes flickered over to Evelyn, who was slightly curled in on herself. His hands were clenched into tight fists in his lap, and he fought the urge to reach out to her. He didn't think she would welcome right in this moment.

Evelyn's eyes were downcast. It took her several seconds to muster up the courage to speak again, and she raised her gaze onto his face. "Are _you_ okay?" She asked, softly. This couldn't be easy on him anymore than it was on the rest of them.

Gibbs didn't answer right away. "Getting there," was the reply he came up with, and he held back a sigh. He was not intentionally being short with her, but the conversation they needed to have needed between just them. Not with Lucas or his father in the front seat.

Evelyn supposed that it was better than nothing. Silence or anger was definitely the worse response that she could have received. Indifference or neutral response was way better than that. She could work with that. She took in a deep cleansing breath, and leaned her forehead against the glass of the window. She watched the scenery flash by, and time seemed to fade entirely.

Gibbs glanced over at her. The way she was curled into the seat, with her head against the window brought back so many memories. She used to do that on the long trips back from the beaches when she was tired out, and she would fall fast to sleep. He could recall each every time that he carried her into the house, and tucked her into the bed. Staring at her now, he was all the more aware of how many years he lost with her.

* * *

"I mean, what do you get someone after something like this happens?" Abby paced between the desks nervously. She twisted her hands together and her lips were pursed thoughtfully. "I mean, there's the traditional flowers and 'get well soon' card. But that seems a little blasé because we found out that Evelyn is Gibbs's daughter and she almost died! She almost died! That would have sucked because I really like Evelyn! Not like-like because I don't swing that way, so shut up Tony," the goth stopped long enough to send him a glare.

"I didn't say anything," Tony blinked innocently.

"Also I don't think Gibbs would appreciate flowers or a 'it's a girl' card," Abby wrinkled her nose then shook her head. She didn't want a head slap. "But I want to make them both feel better. Kind of. I mean, I'm still uber mad Evelyn hid this from us, but I suppose I understand. Maybe." Abby paused long enough to take a breath, and turned around to glare at the three of them. "Why are none of you helping me?"

"With which part? Your babble went all over the place, Abs. No offense," McGee stated, distractedly. He was trying to focus on his computer rather than Abby's hips which was hard when she kept pacing back and forth like she had been. _Down boy. She doesn't like you like that, _McGee told him, with a shake of his head.

"Flower, McGee," Abby gave him a stern glare. "We were talking about flowers. Are flowers appropriate thing to make Gibbs and Evelyn feel better?"

"I don't know about Evelyn, but I do not think Gibbs is a flower kind of man," Ziva stated, with a half smile.

"What about a fruit basket? Everyone loves those," Tony said, after sharing a smirk with Ziva.

Abby made a disgusted noise. "You all are a font of nothing," she declared, then turned on heel and stomped off.

"Well, that was something," Tony said, slowly.

"Speaking of something…McGee, I need you to pull any information you can on a man named Nathan Williams," Ziva stated, with a frown as she glanced over the file. "Lives in Norfolk."

"I'll check to see if he's in the system," McGee nodded, and walked over to his computer. "May I ask why though?"

"I believe he may be connected to this fake Deacon Hooper," Ziva said the name with distaste. It was another remind of what all had transpired and how all them had been thrown for a loop. Her eyes darted from Tony and McGee, both had dark circles underneath their eyes to match hers. No one had been getting sleep, not that anyone could blame them.

"Whoa! That was fast," McGee gaped, his eyes wide in slight surprise. "Nathan Williams works as garbage collector on Norfolk Naval base. He has a criminal record that includes driving under the influence…and drug possession. And he had a court date next week for a hit and run that mysteriously vanished. All charges dropped."

"Well, isn't that interesting," Tony crossed his arms over his chest. He glanced over at Ziva, and raised an eyebrow. "Who was involved in the hit and run case?"

McGee frowned, and pulled it up. "Umm, let me see…The victim was an elderly woman and it says there was only one witness at the crime scene. I'll see if I can find the name…"

"Let me hazard a guess Commander Matt Burnett?" Ziva said, dryly.

McGee nodded. "Yes. Commander Matt Burnett was the witness in the case," he said, with a frown. "But how does he connect to Tarasov? I mean, Fornell said that Tarasov killed Doctor MacDonald the same way the Commander was killed."

"Back scratching!" Tony blurted out.

Ziva and McGee gave him a look.

"You scratch my back, and I'll scratch you back," Tony explained with a wave of his hand. "Tarasov needed the doctor out of the way, so he gave Nathan Williams the means to do it."

"Williams then used the same lethal combination of drugs to kill Burnett and the Commander's witness testimony was the only evidence they had against Williams. No witness, no case against Williams. Both benefit and it is as good as a theory as any," Ziva nodded, thoughtfully.

"I'll get a search warrant for Williams' apartment," McGee picked up the phone.

"And we'll go pick him up," Ziva said, rising from her desk. She grabbed her badge and gun while Tony pulled on his jacket. "Are you going to call Gibbs, and let him know?"

Tony paused. "Not yet. I'll call him after we have Williams in interrogation. You know, make it a present to brighten his day," he said, with a slight sarcasm to cover up the worry that was there.

"I doubt anything will be able to brighten his day," Ziva said, as they stepped onto the elevator. The doors slid closed and she desperately tried not to fidget. "Have you spoken to Evelyn?"

"Briefly," Tony admitted. "She's not in a good place."

"Can you blame her?" Ziva asked, quietly.

"No, I can't," Tony frowned. "But I can't blame Gibbs for being upset as well. You know, normally I love the drama that spices up the daily work life, but this is too much Days of our Lives for my taste."

"Days of our Lives?" Ziva looked confused.

"Ziva, do you even own a tv?"

* * *

The drive to the house lasted nearly an hour, and Evelyn had been more than a little relieved to get out of the car. The air had been stifling in the uncertain silence, and as soon as the car was parked, she had tried to get out. Needlessly to say, she had earned three disapproving looks when she gave a whine of pain for standing up too fast. With pink cheeks, she leaned on Lucas to make it inside of her house. It was silent, too. With a sigh, she flopped her head against Lucas's shoulder tiredly and she felt his arms tightened around her waist. "Are you alright?"

Evelyn buried her face slightly into his shoulder, and breathed in deeply. She couldn't deny that having him was comforting, even if she wasn't exactly happy with it. She was stubborn like that. "No. But I will be," she whispered out, as they reached her bedroom door. She held onto him for a moment longer, before she pulled out of his arms.

Lucas reluctantly let her go, but stood close in case she stumbled. Evelyn used the wall to keep her upright, and let out a labored breath. She was not looking forward to the physical therapy the doctor recommended, she thought dryly. Her expression was drawn closed, and when she reached her bedroom, she made her way to her desk. Her fingers automatically searching for the secret button, and she could feel the weight of Lucas's stare upon her.

The compartment slide open, and swallowing thickly, she pulled out the bracelet and the wedding ring. She stared at the items, both tethered to different times in her life that had both come around in full circle. She lifted her gaze to Lucas, who stared at the items with his brows furrowed.

"What is that?" He asked, quietly. Almost as if he were afraid that speaking to loud and breaking the silence would have some adverse reaction.

She smiled thinly. "Your information. You know, the reason the FBI wants me protected," she stated, with a bitter chuckle. She pulled the blue stone apart, and revealed the flash drive for what it was.

Lucas's brow went up to his hairline. "Hidden compartments, hidden flash drives," he said, his tone slightly teasing. "Are you sure you've left the spy life completely behind you?"

"Have you?" She countered, narrowing her eyes. "I think we both know the answer to those questions."

Lucas heaved a deep breath, running a hand down his face. "I don't want to fight with you, Evelyn," he told her, simply. "I don't have the energy for, and neither do you. Is this really want? To fight, and to be bitter?"

Evelyn looked stubborn, for all of a moment. Her face fell, and she tunneled her fingers through her hair. "I am sorry. That was unfair of me. I know…I know that you meant it when you said you were sorry, and I know that this is…hard for all of us," she whispered out, lifting her gaze from items in her hands to him. "I don't want it to be like that either, but I…I don't know if we can go back to the way it was before."

Lucas gaze was steady on her face. He could see that she ached for him as much as he did for her. To be able to go back to that safe place that had built together.

"You probably want this," Evelyn said, after a moment. The uncomfortable ache, and urge to break down built up within her chest. She stomped it down, and blinked back the burn of tears. She placed the flash drive into the palm of his hand, but before she could pull her hand back, his fingers clasped over hers. A light gasp tore through her lips, and she watched Lucas bring his other hand up. His fingertips stroked along her hand, mapping every detail about it before his thumb brushed across her pulse with a feather light stroke. She let out a small sigh, and closed her eyes. So many emotions struggled across her face, and she opened her eyes when she felt his forehead pressed against hers.

"I don't want to give up on you," he told her, sincerely. "Have you given up on me?"

Evelyn let out a quivering breath, and placed a shaky on his chest. Her eyes said everything he needed to hear, and a real smile curled on his lips. "I am glad to see some things are the same," he breathed out, his voice barely more than a whisper. "It's a place to start."

Evelyn felt her lips tremble, and the urge to close the distance between them was never more stronger than it was in this moment. "Lucas," she whispered out.

Lucas smiled, a hint of sadness on the edges of his lips. He leaned up, pressing his lips to her temple gently before he pulling back with the flash drive in hand. "Get some rest, please. I'll make sure that Fornell gets this," he promised, after clearing his throat. He glanced at the doorway where Gibbs stood with a glare on his face, and arms crossed over his chest. "Gibbs," he acknowledged, before he gave Evelyn a small smile. "I will be back."

"I'm holding you to that," Evelyn said, wrapping her arms around herself. She watched him leave, feeling her heart clench at the sight. She looked away to compose herself as Gibbs stepped into the room. "I never invited you, or of the team here, did I? Why didn't I do that?"

"Because you were hiding a secret?" Gibbs raised a brow.

"No. I mean, a little bit. Yeah," she flashed him a nervous grin, before she sat on the edge of her bed. She had barely been up and about and already her body was completely drained. "But I think inviting you here would have made it real. Well, more real than it already was." She gnawed on her lower lip, twisting the ring between her fingers. With a heavy heart, she lifted it out towards him. "I think that this really belongs to you."

Gibbs took a step forward, and he took the ring out of her hand with a curious expression. He looked down at the band in his hand, and he drew in a rough breath. "Shannon's wedding ring," he said, his voice raw and his eyes looked at Evelyn who was trying to look as small as possible.

"I had it with for as long as I could remember. I don't know how I got it. If I had taken it before…" Evelyn trailed off, a pained gleamed in her eyes. "Even when I didn't remember who I was…I couldn't let it go. I knew it was important."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said, leveling a knowing look at her. He crossed his arms over his chest, and he noticed how she was slightly hunched over. It was a defensive posture and his chest tightened, to see that she was so weary around him.

"The accident?" Evie said, looking at him sadly with those blue eyes. His eyes, she had his eyes, he realized as all the air rushed out of his lungs. "Not really. No. I hate that memory. I hate remembering it. I hate talking about, but I know at some point we'll need to. But not today."

Gibbs held the ring tightly in his hand, like it was lifeline. "You had amnesia? From the accident?" He broached that subject instead. Did it make it better knowing that she had forgotten him? In some ways, yes. In other ways, no.

"Induced by mental and physical trauma. So the doctors said," Evelyn said, twisting her fingers together. She sat on the edge of the bed, and her unfocused eyes were cast towards the window. A thin of stream of light came shining through the curtains, and she could make out the grey clouds shimmering above. "I still have trouble remembering everything. There are periods in my life that are still…disorganized, and jumbled up. But for the most part, it's all there."

Gibbs paused. "When did you remember?"

"When I had already signed my life away to Cathedral. Something…just triggered it," Evelyn said, a nervous tremble in her voice. Her shoulder sagged with the weight of all of her emotions. "By that time I figured it was too late. I wasn't a child anymore, and my life…my work was dangerous. It didn't seem like the right thing to do," she tried hard to get him to understand.

"The right thing to do?" Gibbs said, quietly.

"I…" Evelyn's voice faltered. She swallowed down a deep breath, and she managed pull the gaze off the window. Her blue eyes flickered over him, and his haggard expression. Guilt twisted in her gut painfully. "I am so sorry. Please…please believe that."

Gibbs just sighed. "I know that you are sorry. I know that, and I know that you mean that. Hell," he said, dragging a hand down his face roughly. "I don't know what you want from me, Evelyn. To be alright with this? I'm a trying. I am trying." He walked to the edge of the bed, and looked torn about whether reaching out to her. Finally, he placed his hand over one of hers and blew out a harsh breath. "For years, I dreamed of having your mom and you come back to me. A painful part of me always hoped that you were alive, but it was just a dream. This is…reality. I look at you and I don't see the secrets that you keep apologizing for. I see how much time I have lost with you. I see how I didn't protect my little girl. I see how I failed you."

Evelyn looked startled. "What? Failed me? Y-you didn't fail me," she told him, taking his hand into hers more securely. "Knowing that you were alright, knowing that you were okay…was one of the things that kept me going in a time that I when I wasn't okay. You've never failed me."

Gibbs felt his throat tightened. It took him several seconds to get his voice back, and he looked straight at her face. "You knew I was alright?" His voice was light, and he saw a flash pain cross her face.

"After…after I remembered, I wanted…to know if you were alright. I used some contacts that I had to check in on you," Evelyn said, her voice shook a tiny bit. "It was selfish. I've been selfish."

"Why did you just tell me?" Gibbs asked, his voice shattered. He stared at her with this look, like he was looking a ghost. So hopeful, but so much pain at the same time. The uncertainty was stark clear in his blue eyes and Evelyn felt like she had been punched in the gut. Her heart was thundering in her ears, and she felt a cool sweat break out across her skin feeling suddenly not sure what to say.

She swung her arms before clasped her hands together in front of her and twisting them. It made Gibbs's heart lurch up into his throat. Kelly _always _did that when she was in trouble, and was trying to talk her way out. Gibbs pressed his lips together. There was so much more he needed answers to, but he could see the exhaustion on Evelyn's face. He squeezed her hand tightly before he stood up, and told her, "You need your rest."

"No, Gibbs, I…we need to talk about this," Evelyn said, shaking her head side to side. She made to stand up, but the pain stopped that thought quickly. "We should have already talked about it."

"We will talk about it," Gibbs assured her, with a nod of his head. He was reluctant to leave her, but forcing the issue right now was just not the thing to do. Besides, they both had to sort of their feelings. God, he hated feelings. "I promise."

Evelyn bit her lower lip. "

don't think is a right thing to do in this situation," he said, after a moment. "I think…that we have chose between two hard choices."

Evelyn closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around her midsection. She had to wear loose clothing, to hide the bandages, but she couldn't hide the pain.

"Do you need your medicine?" Gibbs asked.

"No. No, I'll be fine when I lay down," Evelyn told him, flashing a quick smile.

"Don't do that," Gibbs said, sharply. "Don't pretend with me. I can see right through it."

Evelyn froze for a second, before she nodded. "I'll try."

Gibbs nodded, and took a breath before walked out the door and shut it behind him. He leaned against it for several moments, needing them to compose himself. His cellphone went off in his jacket, and he fished it out. Seeing DiNozzo's name on the screen, he flipped it open, "Gibbs."

"_Boss, we found a suspect in Commander Burnett's death. A Nathan Williams," _Tony informed him, quickly. _"We searched his apartment and found both the drugs as well evidence that he made them into the deadly cocktail that poisoned the Commander."_

Gibbs let out a huff. "Then why are you talking to me when you should be arresting him?" He barked out.

"_A step ahead of you, boss," _the smirk could be heard in Tony's voice as clear as day. _"He's in interrogation one. Do you want us to go ahead, or do you want to-"_

"I'm on my way," was all Gibbs needed to say.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Hope you all enjoyed. This chapter is a bit shorter than I would like, but I wanted to get it all moving along. I also wanted to show that not everything is going to be hunky dory. :D**

NEXT CHAPTER: Lucas and Evelyn are stuck under the same roof, while Gibbs works with Fornell to track Tarasov down.

READ AND REVIEW! :D


	22. Hold Your Head Up Above the Water

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/Jenny

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333, rockrose, lucksby92, reader29, jenny14, haeraquill, SnowLeopard167, jayesh, Dreamsb223, Storywriter905, EQfan74, katrin lily, Voldymoldy666, DarkPhantom101, toreadornottoread1, Beam-me-up-life and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean, LegalAddiction20, MusicLover500, rockrose, reader29, EQfan74, nkaul12321, samanthakp, Voldymoldy666, MarieSeleneArroyo, Tiniii25, DarkPhantom101, daria081, Frozen Winter Flower and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _CandyHearts22, BurnedSpy, DS2010, MaryArtemis, Mayflowers123__**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews: No guests at this time.

**Inspired by the song:**

"Until it Happens to You" (Cover) by Morgan Hawley

"Stand Still And Look Pretty" by The Wreckers

"Fix a Heart" by Demi Lovato

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

"**Hold Your Head Up Above the Water"**

**"**

**"**

* * *

_Her heartbeat was thunderous._

_The sound of her feet clapped against the concrete, and all she could think was that she has to get going. She couldn't let them catch her, no matter what. She couldn't let them catch her. **A mouse trying to outsmart the trap, and outmatch the cat. But the mouse is too slow, and the cat's claws are too sharp.**_

_Pain. Biting cold. Her fingers are bleeding, the nails ripped off, but the mouse did not scream. Didn't even squeak. She swallowed them down, and choked on them. The secrets buried so deep, but they were determined to have them. Cuts made with whitehot blades that left burns and a river of blood in its wake. Bruises of hands left as a dark reminder, and would still be there after they long faded. The images twisted and turned, years flying by in the matter of seconds. **The mouse was free…but it was an illusion. She was never free, and the blade cut deep.**_

Evelyn's eyes snapped open from her short lived nap. Her entire body ached from head to toe. Her pulse thumped, a quick broken rhythm. A disgusted groan left her as she swallowed thickly, her mouth felt like cotton and tasted horrible. She placed her hands over her face, her eyes swollen from where she had been desperately held back tears. The urge had come swift when she was left alone, but she had fought them with everything she had inside of her. She was done with the crying.

Letting out a harsh breath, Evelyn tried to sit up. Of course in the midst of her awkward struggle her grandfather had to walk right in. He took one look at her and shook his head. "Stubbornness really is a genetic trait in our family," he sighed, with a slight chuckle.

"I was just, um," Evelyn began, but fumbled with the explanation. Her expression was slightly apologetic, and sheepish as she gave a tiny, helpless shrug.

"Not resting?" Jackson said, with a teasing twinkle in his eyes. "I brought you something to eat, so you can take your medicine."

Evelyn blinked in surprise. "You didn't have to do that," she said, quietly. She couldn't believe that he went through the effort to do that for, and was genuinely touched.

"Yes, I do. I have more than a decade of spoiling my grandchild that I have to make up for and I don't intend on wasting another moment," Jackson smiled, setting the tray down on the bed in front of her. "Besides, I put that boyfriend of yours to work."

Evelyn choked on air. "Lucas is not boyfriend!"

Jackson just gave her a flat look. "He helped me make most of it. Just some homemade pancakes and syrup," said her grandfather, adjusting the pillows so she could sit up comfortably before he sat down at the foot of the bed.

Her stomach growled as the scent of the pancakes hit her nose. She took a deep breath savoring the smell and looked up at him. "They smell like angels," she said, before she could help herself.

Jackson laughed. "Well, hopefully they taste as good."

"I know they will. You always made good pancakes," Evelyn said, picking up the fork before she froze when she realized what she had just said.

"Something wrong?" Jackson asked, bemused.

"Nothing. Nothing," she shook her head slightly. She cut into the pancakes with a slight sigh. "It strange sometimes. Remembering things I forgot. I guess, I always thought I remember all that I was going to remember, but being…around you and Gibbs changes all that."

"That's a good thing, right?" He ventured, carefully.

Evelyn chewed her food thoughtfully. "In some ways," she said, with a small nod. "In other ways, it's completely terrifying. I've built a life. Maybe not a good one if we consider there is a maniac after me, but it was mine. Sometimes," she hesitated for a brief second before she pushed forward, "I feel like if I remember being Kelly that I'll lose who I am now, and that…that scares more than anything else."

"Because of the fall out? Because you don't know where you stand with your father and everyone else?" Jackson arched an eyebrow.

Evelyn stared at him for a solid moment before she looked away. It was unnerving how well he had read her in that moment, and she forced herself to swallow down the bite of pancake. "I don't know," Evelyn sadly admitted. "I lied to him about who I was, knowing that this would have a vital impact on his life. When it comes down to it even though a part of me wanted to protect him, I wanted to protect myself even more. I was just selfish. I didn't want to be hurt, and I didn't want to put myself on the line. I didn't want to risk him rejecting me because out of all the things that could break me, that would be the worst and I don't think I could come back from that," she told him, her voice filled with such heartbreaking honesty that it brought tears to Jackson's eyes.

"And you afraid he won't forgive you?" He asked.

"I know he'll want to try," she said, slowly.

"Listen to me, Evelyn. There is nothing dearer in this world to a father than a daughter," Jackson told her, with a sad smile on his face. "You two are two of the most stubborn people in the world, but you are also two of the best."

"You don't even know me," Evelyn said, not unkindly. There was a trace of regret in her tone once the words fluttered out, but Jackson just shook his head slightly.

"I know enough," Jackson countered, not offended. "I don't need to know you to see you are a good person. I can tell from the people you've surrounded yourself with. They are good people, and they all care about you, not about the lies or hidden truths. That says a lot about you right there."

Evelyn looked downward at her plate, the food settling heavily in her stomach. Though it was better than the empty gnawing feeling from earlier, she didn't care for it at all. Evelyn uncapped her medicine slowly, and tossed pills into her mouth chasing it down with the orange juice. "In my head, I know that. It's my heart that won't listen," she said, with a half sigh. "I keep over thinking and over analyzing every word or every gesture. Every choice I made, and everyone I have to make. You know at one time retreating into my mind was the only way I could stay sane. It was the only way I could keep myself alive. A defense mechanism, if you will," she admitted, softly. There was a horrible pain straining on the edges of her voice that she just barely got to choke back. "I guess I never learned how to stop it or shut it off."

Jackson gave her a sympathetic look. "Did you know as humans we spend at least eighty percent of our times in our heads? It sounds to me that you need to find a way to get out your head," he told her, with a gentle pat to her knee. "It's never too late to learn how."

Evelyn wished it was as easy as he made it sound. "I guess," she said, setting the glass of orange juice back down on the tray lightly.

Jackson gave her knee a comforting squeeze before he stood up off the bed. "You finish up your food. I'm going to go get a ride home from the nice FBI agents that are securing this place. But don't worry," he said, with a smile when he saw panic flash across her face. "I'm just going to get some clothes and essentials. I'll be bunking with your father, so don't worry about me interrupting you love birds."

"Love birds?" Evelyn choked out. After a moment, she shook her head and knew dissuading him from that kind of thinking was a lost cause. Besides, she couldn't completely deny the fact that there was something between her and Lucas.

Jackson just gave her knowing smile. "Take care, sweetheart," he told her, giving her a quick hug.

"You too," Evelyn told him, mustering up a smile for him. She watched him leave the room, and all the weight that had been lifted for that brief moment came falling back onto her. She shoved the tray down to the end of the bed, and let out a deep huff. Her eyes were cast upward towards the ceiling and she laid there with her hands lightly crossed over her chest.

She laid there for a half an hour, lost deep within her thoughts when she heard the door open ever so slightly. She leaned up to see Lucas lingering in the threshold. "Hey," she said, her eyes staring up at him softly.

"Hello," he countered, his voice quiet as if not to startle her. His eyes intently scanned her face, searching for any sign of discomfort before he allowed his expression to relax just a fraction. "You look like you are feeling better."

"Somewhat," she chewed on her bottom lip, carefully. "What about you? How have you been? I don't think I have asked you that in a while," she said, with a slight laugh. Against her will, the walls she had been desperately was trying to rebuild just kept crumbling down. Around Lucas most of all.

"You've had a lot on your mind," Lucas allowed, the edges of his lips curled upward.

"That doesn't mean I shouldn't have asked," Evelyn said, as she shifted forward on the bed. "How have you been?" She asked, her voice betraying the true depths of her concern. She had not forgotten their conversation from the hospital, and the look in his eyes when he had spoke to her. "Are you doing, alright? Fornell isn't working you too hard, is he?"

"Nothing more than usual," Lucas assured, with a smirk. "I'm not hopping all over the country there is something to be said for that. It's different staying in one place."

"A bad kind of different?" Evelyn asked.

"No. Not a bad kind." Lucas looked over at her, his brows furrowed together. There was something that moved in his gaze, like a shadow and his lips thinned out. "We've gotten word that Tarasov is looking for you."

The sudden dread was overwhelming and the blood in her veins turned to ice. She had always known that he would come for her, but faced with the reality of the situation, she wanted to run. Her knees curled up towards her chest, and she wrapped her arms around them. Looking down at the blankets, she tried to pull herself together. "Oh. I kind of knew it was him," she fought to keep her tone light, trying to hide how truly how afraid she really was. "Ghosts rarely stay in the past, do they? Do…they know who the people that he sent after me were?"

"Alejandro Rivera was the man who stabbed you, and the woman in the hospital was Paloma Reynosa. They were half siblings through their father who was Pedro Herna…" Lucas started, his long fingers clasped behind his back when Evelyn's head snapped up.

"Pedro Hernandez," she finished, her voice flat.

Lucas's eyebrows shot up. "You know him."

"Yes, I do," she said, her hands clenched into bloodless fists. A familiar beat of adrenaline buzzed through her veins, and she felt a black mood fall over her. "He killed my mother. He almost killed me."

She could feel the shock come off of Lucas, though the only indication he gave was the slight straightening of his spine.

"I asked Elle to find them," Evelyn continued, quietly. "Not them specifically, but anyone connected to Pedro Hernandez. To keep an eye on them just in case. When Elle hadn't found anything, so I assumed…I assumed that we were safe. That if I told Gibbs the truth about him being my father that nothing would come back to haunt us. Oh, God," she buried her face into her hands. "This is all my fault."

"This is not your fault," Lucas told her, sharply.

"How isn't it?" She demanded, dropping her hand. "If I had be honest from the start we would have been prepared for that bastard and anything he threw at us."

"You would have been locked in a room, and interrogated," Lucas told her, his voice simple and matter-of-fact. His arms crossed over his broad chest, and his eyebrow raised slightly as if waiting for her to challenge his words. When none came, he continued onward, "They would have used your father as leverage against you, promising you that you could see him if you only gave them a little more information. Hold no illusions, governments are ruthless when it comes to protect themselves."

"Just like you?" Her eyes stared at him, unblinking.

"Just like me," he said, simple and matter-of-factly. He would not lie about what kind of man he was. He knew that Evelyn was not the type to prefer the comfort of a lie over the pain of a truth.

"So what's the plan?" She asked, quietly.

"We keep you out of sight," Lucas said, with a slight nod. "You've hid your tracks well. Keep Tarasov guessing which way you've gone, to let him spread himself thin and then we can catch him unaware."

"If I hid my tracks well we wouldn't be here," Evelyn countered, a sardonic curl to the corner of her mouth. She closed her eyes in mute despair, and laid back against her pillows.

"Tarasov will not get you, Evelyn," he told her.

"Stop!" It came out of her in a harsh growl out of frustration. Hearing the bastard's name was like nails on a chalkboard, and she felt the need to go take a shower. No one could understand her hatred for the man, unless they had been through what she had been through. "Stop saying his name."

"Don't," Lucas said, his voice sharp.

Her eyes snapped open, and she looked at him. His posture was deceptively casual, but she could see the tension tremble along his shoulders, and his expression had turned cold. His intense gaze was focused on her, so much so that it was borderline painful. It was moments like this that she remembered that Lucas North was a very, very dangerous man. His hands were stained with blood, as all spies were and the fact that he was working with the FBI instead of his own country spoke volumes.

"Don't let him have that power over you," he stated, harsher than he intended it to come out.

Evelyn felt her chin wobble slightly, more affected by his words than she cared to admit. "I'm not," she denied, even though the words rang hollow.

"You are." The heat in his voice ebbed away, replaced by a knowing. His slender fingers, ones revered as a musicians or perhaps a doctor's, reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in mute frustration. "Disassociation. You don't wish to hear or speak his name as a way to distance yourself from him. To distance yourself from what he made you into."

"He didn't make me into anything," Evelyn hissed.

"Lie to me if you must, Evelyn," Lucas told her, shortly. "But don't lie to yourself. You were tortured." _Like I was tortured_, Lucas left that bit silent. The look on his face was harsh, and he gripped the bedpost with knuckle white grip. "Not many truly understand the art of torture. How the torturer steals all that you are. Your childhood, your happiness, your goals, all that kept you moving was stolen and you are given nothing to hold onto…except the person who is hurting you. The prey bonds with predator."

"Don't make me sick," Evelyn's jaw went numb with the force she gnashed her teeth together. She had heard all that he had before. The therapist that Cathedral had sent her to after they had gotten her back had went through all of it with her, and it hadn't helped. It will get better with time, she was promised. One day that it would be alright.

"Most don't understand what happened between a torturer and their victim. The relationship that is built there, but I do," Lucas told her, his hands clenched into fists at his side. "The one that hurts you becomes the center of your reality, the only focus that you have to keep yourself from completing fading away. It's a horrible and twisted thing, but it is what happens."

Evelyn felt the tears well up in her eyes, but they did not fall. She stared up at Lucas, her eyes unblinking and seeing more than she ever saw before. "The tattoos…the ones you got in prison," she said, slowly. "You got them from the Russians, just like…" She didn't speak of the one tattoo she had. She had only been in there a year, so she had only gotten one. "You were tortured just like I was, weren't you?"

Lucas didn't reply. He didn't need to.

"Except you were there for eight years," she recalled, with a horrified expression on her face. She had by some miracle survived a year, but she couldn't imagine eight years. "I can't imagine…"

"You can, but you shouldn't," Lucas said, his voice toneless. A year or eight years, no one should suffer that kind of torment, and yet they both knew it was part of their jobs. People got captured, tortured, and the lucky ones got to go home. Unlucky ones ended up dead, or traitors. "You probably understand more than anyone else. That changes…"

"Nothing. Everything," Evelyn finished. She had always wished for someone who could understand the way she was stripped of everything that made her unique, striped of her identity and died a death. It might not have been physical, but it had been just a damaging. The look in her eyes was so fragile as she stared up at him. "I don't know."

He looked at her for a hot second before he came around the side of the bed, with a feline grace before he sat down carefully in front of her. "You feel alone, don't you? Just stuck in another prison with no way out. Still alone, still trapped in a world of bizarre codes of conduct and solitary confinement. Everything coming with a price and survival came at the expense of the soul."

She touched his arm, letting her fingers curve over the tattoo on his wrist. She didn't know why she did that, but she didn't let go. "They say that in time it gets better," she whispered out, softly. "That it will heal. That I just had to hold my head up, and be strong. But some days…I don't want to be strong. I don't want to hold it all inside."

She had never liked the feeling of vulnerability, but somehow around Lucas she always felt that way. She didn't know whether to push him away, or pull him close. A part of her was starved for touch. Wanting, but fearing it. There was always hesitance, and it wasn't just her. She knew there was a part of Lucas that he was hesitant to share with her as well. Their pasts, so similar, were a bridge that neither was sure they wanted to cross, completely.

But he knew. He knew how it felt to be stripped down to nothing, until your own identity had been stolen away and you were hanging on the end of your rope. "I'm glad that you're here," she breathed out, after a moment of hesitation. "I'm…not good at trusting people. I've always had to rely on myself after my mother was killed and I was…" Her eyes grew distant as she thought about the past. "I was in foster care for a while. I almost got adopted by a couple, but the week they were supposed to come and get me…they found they were pregnant. After that no one showed much interest. All I had was my schooling, and I made sure I was good at it. Every subject I threw myself into it."

"And MI-6 took notice when they were forming Cathedral," Lucas guessed, with a slight frown.

"Yes," she chewed on her lower lip. "I was so desperate to be a part of something, to find a place to belong that I jumped head first into it without thinking of the consequences that it could truly have. I knew that betrayal was possible, but I never thought…that it would actually happen. I was naïve."

"It's not naïve to want to belong," Lucas told her, quietly. "It's human nature."

"But it's harder for us," Evelyn smiled, thinly. "We want to belong, but our view on the world has been so twisted by the horrible things we've endured that we don't know how to belong anymore. We don't even know we can."

Lucas drew in a weighted breath, drawing his fingertips across the palms of her hands. "I understand it. When I returned to London after those eight years, I tried my hardest to go back to the way things were. I was desperate to return to normal, but things were never normal for me. I tried, but it was never enough. It never felt like enough, and I couldn't get back up and dust off anymore. I decided if I was doomed to fall, then I would take everything I cherished with me. I almost betrayed MI-5 to the Chinese, but…" He gave her a ruethful look, his shoulders slumped dejectedly.

"You changed your mind," Evelyn said, softly.

"I changed my mind," Lucas nodded. "My battle wasn't with them. My battle was with myself. I gave the Chinese false information, and faked my death. Even when MI-5 discovered the intel was not genuine, my life in London was over. And this time…it had been my own doing. Now I have nowhere to belong."

Evelyn felt a pang shoot through her heart, and she stared up at Lucas for a long moment before she slipped her fingers through his. "I…I can't say that everything between us is okay, because it's not. We have so much we still have to work through," she told him, feeling a knot of emotion well up inside of her throat. "But I don't think I would mind…belonging with you."

Lucas's lips parted slightly, and something flickered through his gaze. His fingers tightened around hers and his eyes darted down to her mouth then back up to face as he leaned forward. Heat rushed up the back of her neck as her pulse pounded with the sweet ache of anticipation, and his forehead pressed against hers, his lips only a heart beat away from hers. Then, of course, the mobile went off loudly from where it sat on the nightstand. Both of them froze, the noise sobering and destroyed the moment between them.

Evelyn let out a rueful laugh. "We never have great timing, do we?" She said, resting her forehead against his. Up this close, she could make out the flecks of grey hidden within the blue depths of his gaze. His nose brushed across the tip of her cheek, and she knew he was tempted to ignore the cellphone ringing all together. But they couldn't, they both knew that. "I should answer that," she said, with a glance at the cellphone still ringing on the nightstand.

"You probably should," Lucas nodded. He saw the name "Gibbs" flash upon the caller id and knew that this was a call she wouldn't ignore. He began to pull away only to be halted by Evelyn's hand on his wrist.

"You can…stay," she told him, then she looked down at their hands still clasped tightly together. "If that's what you want…"

Lucas searched her face for several moments before his shoulders relaxed. "I'll stay," he agreed, his tone very quiet and simple.

It took a moment for what he said to sink in and when it did Evelyn looked up at him in surprise. Her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath before her lips pulled into a smile. "You really said that," she whispered out, a hopeful disbelief rising up in her chest no matter how much she tried to stop it. She sniffled ever so slightly, and tried to blink away the tears before they could begin. She reached over and grabbed her cellphone, flipping it open. "Hello?" She kept her voice light as she answered.

"_Evelyn_," her dad's voice came over the phone.

"Gibbs, hey," Evelyn was surprised. A good kind of surprised, and that didn't happen a lot to her. "Is…is everything alright?" She asked, worriedly.

Gibbs drew in a breath. "_I am fine. We got done interrogating Nathan Williams. He confessed to Commander Burnett's death, and is willing to testify against his contacts. I thought you would want to know."_

"Um, yeah, thank you for telling me," Evelyn commented, the palm was sweaty against the cellphone. There were a thousand things she wanted to say, or to ask, but none seemed good enough. Running her fingers nervously through her hair, she looked at Lucas who had shifted up as he sat up against the pillows. His hands gently urged her to lay back against the pillows, and she found herself curling into him. "What about you? Are you…alright?"

There was a brief pause. "_I'm…fine."_

"Good." Evelyn said, a bit too quickly. "I…I was wondering if you had the time, if you wanted to come over tomorrow. To talk," she added, without pause for a breath. Her nerves eating her up because she knew they needed to talk about everything, and no longer ignore the giant elephant in the room. "That is if you wanted, which you might which is understandable because of everything going on and-"

_"I'll be there at five,"_ Gibbs replied, ending her rant.

"You will?" Evelyn blinked. "I mean, you will."

_"Goodbye, Evelyn_," the amusement in his voice clearly heard.

"Bye," she said, flipping the phone shut.

"Your father?" Lucas asked, conversationally even though he knew the answer to that question. He smoothed back the strands of her hair, so he could see her face.

"Mhmm," Evelyn nodded once. "He's agreed to come over and talk tomorrow."

"That's a good thing," Lucas said, as she came to rest her head against his shoulder gently.

"It is," Evelyn whispered, drawing a deep breath. His scent and his warmth surrounded her and she felt her worries slowly drain away. Being held by him was different, she just couldn't explain it. He made her feel safe even when it felt like the entire world was about to crumble down on top of her. "But it's probably one of the hardest thing that I will ever have to do."

Lucas pressed a kiss to her temple gently, savoring the feel of having her back in his arms and committed it to memory. "If he is half the man I think he is…he will forgive the lie because he can't imagine not having you in his life," he told her, his voice low and rough.

_Just like I will forgive you_, Evelyn thought, her palm laid right above his heart. She knew she would forgive him for his lie, because in all honesty she knew what it was like to have to lie like that. And she knew he was honest when he apologized for it. Pulling him close, Evelyn allowed her tired eyes to flutter close and let this be enough for this moment.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

NEXT CHAPTER: Lucas opens up to Evelyn about his eight years in Russia, and Gibbs and Evelyn finally talk. Meanwhile Tony and Ziva's lives are put on the line leading Ziva to a realization.

Rrs are appreciated.


	23. The Pieces of Us

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. **This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)**

**Summary: **Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.

Pairings:

Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North

Gibbs/Jenny

Tony/Ziva

Abby/McGee

**Warnings: **Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.

Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333, rockrose, lucksby92, reader29, jenny14, haeraquill, SnowLeopard167, jayesh, Dreamsb223, Storywriter905, EQfan74, katrin lily, Voldymoldy666, DarkPhantom101, toreadornottoread1, Beam-me-up-life, bedonk, AnonymouslyFanficky, EvilDuoMom, Role with life, Karyn Cartwright and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!

Thank you 1956JohnDeere50, Alexstarlight18, BurnedSpy, Calista Mason, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, EisForElephant, JrSnape, PeachfacedLovebird, RedEyedSurprise, SpecialAgentLeonie, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, coffeee, doggy bye, lightningx94, ljcolic, ros9172, skeeter88, smilin steph, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, winterhail, joe bob billy bob, LeleChaos, Lady Wesker, MaryArtemis, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, RAD092515, Safara Bellamy, EmmieRaeJean, LegalAddiction20, MusicLover500, rockrose, reader29, EQfan74, nkaul12321, samanthakp, Voldymoldy666, MarieSeleneArroyo, Tiniii25, DarkPhantom101, daria081, Frozen Winter Flower, FictionWriter09, CWyse23, Karyn Cartwright, and xLyraCharlottex for the favs!

I would like to also like to thank **'Children of Gibbs' **and **The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 **to adding me to their community. That made my day.

And a special thanks to the reviewers, _WishingUponTheMoon, BurnedSpy, DS2010, Winchestergurl4life, AnonymouslyFanficky__**! **_Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.

Guest Reviews:

**Inspired by the song:**

"**Burning in the Skies" by Linkin Park**

"**Til the Casket Drops" by ZZ Ward**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

"**The Pieces of Us"**

* * *

A full moon was a bad sign. Tony called it, no matter how much evidence Ducky said there was to the contrary. He sat on the chilly and wet asphalt that soaked through his pants uncomfortably. He drew in a deep breath, and dropped his cell phone haphazardly onto the ground to hold his gun. "Others are on their way," Tony whispered out of the corner of his mouth. They both sat down on the side of their car which was taking heavy fire from an AK-47. It had been a simple job in theory. Find the coconspirators of Nathan Williams's and bring them in. In practice? It was a helluva lot harder when getting shot at.

"I'm not sure we can afford to wait," Ziva hissed out. Her gun in a knuckle white grip and her jaw clenched tightly. "I know how the Russian cartel works. They will keep us pinned down long enough to destroy the evidence, and most likely then kill themselves. They'd rather die than be caught."

"Then I guess one of us needs to take the shot," Tony quipped, his usually grin flattened by the tension around the corner of his eyes. When the gun fire ceased, Tony peeked over the hood of the car while Ziva peeked over the back. Guns aimed at the open window. They only had a slim window of chance to hit the man before he started firing at them again.

Several heartbeats passed then the man appeared in the window with gun in hand, and Ziva pulled the trigger of her gun relentlessly. Tony did the same. With the two of them, the man had no chance to dodge and his body jerked as bullets tore through him and he fell back out of sight. "Move," Ziva's hoarse voice ordered, and the two of the darted through the yard towards the door before more—if there were anymore—decided to take up the fight.

They crept around the house outside of the house, guns drawn and ducked down from below the

The moon was full as Tony and Ziva crept around the building with their guns drawn. Normally, they would have waited for back up if it had been for the fact that man had seen them and had opened fire upon them before he rushed back inside. They ducked down underneath the windows, staring out of sight and out of the line of the gun barrel.

They made it to the inside of the house. Table were unturned, and chairs were knocked over onto their sides. The house was poorly land out. There were three doors that led out from the living room, each of them nearly closed that could be concealing a gunman. Tony took a deep breath, his eyes search the room when he heard a creak come from behind them. He twisted around to see a man had come around the house to follow them through the front door. "Ziva, look out!"

Ziva turned around, and dodged the knife that most assuredly would have went into her back. She slammed the butt of her gun into the man's hand and kicked him straight into the stomach. They were a whirlwind of punching and kicking, when the man tackled her to the ground harshly. She cried out when her side slammed into the glass table, and Tony lunged forward grabbing the guy by the back of his collar to haul him off of her.

Ziva hissed, pulling a large shard of glass out of her side and by the time she got to her feet and turned around, the man had a gun pointed straight at Tony's temple while Tony had his hands around the man's throat. Tony dropped his hands away, he wasn't a fool to try and strangle a man who had a gun to his head.

Ziva froze from head to toe, her heart stopped inside of her chest. Her lips parted in shock, before the reality of the situation came crashing down on her and she steady her gun straight at the man. "Put your weapon down, and let him go," Ziva demanded, her voice slightly shrill with the panic at seeing Tony on his knees with a gun to his head.

"Oh, I don't think so," the man smirked. "He's my ticket to freedom, darling."

"You aren't getting out of here," Tony breathed out, his ears still ringing from where the man slammed the butt of his gun to the back of his head. "Our back up is due to arrive in second. You'll be caught before you make it out of town."

"Shut up," the man said, jerking Tony's collar roughly which made Ziva startle. The gunman caught it and laughed callously. "Oh, I see. You care for him, no?" The man taunted, pressing the barrel of his gun harder into Tony's temple.

"Ziva, just shoot him," Tony told her.

"Do it and he dies, too," the gunman promised. "But I might be able to be convinced in letting him go, if you trade spots with him."

"Ziva, don't," Tony barked out.

Ziva's expression turned dark like she wanted to tell him to stop being so stupid. Her gun hand trembled as she resisted the urge to pull the trigger as her heart leapt into her throat. Her eyes caught Tony's, and he nodded ever so slightly. "Fine. Fine, I will go with you," Ziva whispered out, holding her gun up in a surrendering gesture and made to go put it down.

That's when the man relaxed ever so slightly. That's when Tony struck. Tony elbowed the man sharply in the stomach, and whipped around while the man was stunned. He grabbed the gun right out of his hands and pistol whipped him right across the face. With a snarl of his face and his chest heaving up and down, Tony then pointed its gun right at the man. "You have the right to remain silent. If you say or do anything, I'm liable to shoot you."

Ziva let out a breath of relief, running a shaky hand down her face before she grabbed her handcuffs off her belt and strode forward.

* * *

Evelyn awoke abruptly, with the images of her nightmare still hovering inside of her mind and she pulled herself free from the arms wrapped around her. She took off towards her bathroom, and made it just in time to vomit into the toilet. Her shaky knees buckled beneath her and she just managed to herself on the sides of the toilet. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, and gave a moan of absolute misery when she realized that it was Lucas. She didn't want to see him to see her like this.

"Hey, hey, easy," Lucas whispered, brushing her hair out of her face and holding it out of her way as she dry heaved. His other hand rubbed soothing circles across her back, and his eyes searched her sides to see if she had ripped any of her stitches. Thankfully, no blood came seeping through the shirt, so he assumed they were intact. "It's alright."

Evelyn grabbed some toilet paper and wiped her mouth clean before she leaned back to toss into the toiler and lowered the toilet lid and laid her head on it. She was in too much pain to care about how unsanitary that was, even if she kept her house cleaner than someone with an OCD condition. "I'm…fine. Just…need a moment," she said, pausing for breath every other word. Lucas didn't move, simply stayed knelt beside her and waited. She twisted her head until her cheek rested upon her crossed arms, and her solemn eyes searched his face. "Thank you."

"You never have to thank me," he told her. "Bad dream?"

"Mhmm. I think I'll be having them for a long time to come," Evelyn said, her tone very simple. Her chest rose and fell with a sharp sigh, and she tilted her head to the side. "Were you washing your hair in the sink?"

Lucas hesitated looking over at the shampoo and towel that sat upon the sink like incriminating evidence put there purposely to rat him out. "Yes…I was," he breathed out, a look of apprehension flickered through his eyes. "When I…I was held in the Russian prison, I was water boarded among other things. It doesn't…_affect _me as often as it used to, but sometimes…"

"It just creeps up on you," Evelyn whispered out. She completely understood. Tenderly she ran her fingers through his hand, and felt that there was still some shampoo there. When she rushed into the bathroom she must have caught him right in the middle of washing it out. "Do you want help washing the rest of it out?"

Fear and longing so tantamount ripped through him. He wanted nothing more than to accept her offer, to allow her to help him, but the thought of another person's hands on him and water on him at the same time. Lucas took her hand gently in his, and he held it tightly. "Maybe one day."

"Alright," Evelyn whispered, not wanting to push him. She could see the tension that lingered along his shoulders. "You know that if you ever need to talk about anything, that you can tell me. I mean, anything. I can keep a secret better than Fort Knox."

"Some things are just better off not being talked about," Lucas stated, his tone slightly stiff. His eyes stared down at the tiled floor when he felt Evelyn run her hand along his shoulder then down his arm until she placed her palm against his.

"Do you really think so little of me?" Evelyn asked, with a sad half smile. "Or perhaps do you think too much of me?"

His eyes darted back to her face, and narrowed in silent confusion which made Evelyn's smile even sadder if possible.

"What do you see when you look at me? A victim? A damsel in distress that needs to be saved?" Evelyn asked, her voice deceptively quiet, but her expression almost thunderous in its intensity. "Because I am not. I'm not some damsel, or victim. I had to do things that compromised my morals, had to turn a blind eye to thing that happened, and I'm not some good woman that is in over her head. I chose that life. I can make excuses and say I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I did. I may not have understood the ramifications that it would bring, but I knew what I was signing up for."

Lucas narrowed his eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

Evelyn gnawed on her lower lip, and wrung her hands together as she searched for her words. "I don't want you to have built this…image inside of your head, or place me on a pedestal. I have done things that I can't take back," she said, in a hoarse whisper. "No matter how much I wish I could. I just want you to know what I'm capable of because if you think that I won't understand the things that you have done…then you're wrong. I would understand too damn well."

Lucas stared for a long moment, before he looped his fingers through hers. "Have you ever thought that maybe that's what I'm afraid of? That you would understand too well?" He asked, the edge of his mouth tilted upward.

Evelyn's sad smile slipped ever so slightly. "Are you really afraid that I will understand you too well?" She asked, shifting to sit up.

Lucas smiled, his thumbs brushing the back of her hand. "Aren't you?"

Evelyn's mouth worked for a moment, then she closed. She supposed she was on some level. She was afraid that someone would look at her and see something worthless and walk away. She was, even more, afraid that they would see something worth staying for, and she hadn't had many people who had wanted to stick around in her life. She wasn't sure what to do with that. Normal human interactions, or as normal as one could get when they had been trained for espionage. "I had never thought of it like that before," Evelyn said, softly. She drew her hand from his after a long moment, and pulled her knees up to her chest. She tried desperately not to squirm, never really good at confronting her emotions very well.

"I did not say it to upset you," Lucas commented, his throat bobbed. His hand clenched tightly into his lap, and

"I know you didn't," she flashed him a quick smile. "And it doesn't make me sad. It just…it just reminds that there is so much still standing between us."

Lucas wished there wasn't. Part of him wanted to take her into his arms all over again, to breath in her scent and bury himself so deep that they shared the same skin. He had never imagined after eight years that he ever manage to love another person again. His other relationship had been desperate attempts to reclaim the past to be the man he was before, or an unhealthy attachment that was such set up from ruin from the start. This what was between him and Evelyn was not like any of those, and he had found something unexpected here with her. A home, a refuge, and the possibility for a new beginning. He was grateful for that. "I know there is," Lucas acknowledged, with a grim sort of smile. "So…what are your plans for today?"

"Oh, nothing much. With the NCIS agents watching the house and my constant movements, on top of my recovering from being stabbed," Evelyn made a face at saying that which made Lucas smile slightly. "I'd wouldn't be able to do much anyways. Besides…my father is coming over today." Evelyn blinked, a peculiar look upon her face. "That felt so strange to say," she said, with a huffing laugh. "My father is coming over today. That should be so strange, but it is."

"Given the circumstances, I'd be surprised if you felt any other way," Lucas said, with a lopsided grin. "It's not everyday your father finds out your alive and a spy, after all."

Evelyn nodded, absentmindedly. "What about you? Did your parents every find out you were a spy?" She asked, after a long moment.

Lucas sighed. "No. No, they never found out. They believe me dead for a long time, and I never changed any of that. I was in no condition for digging up old hurts, with all the new ones that I was driving myself to."

"That must have been hard without them," Evelyn commented, softly.

"It was, but I pushed through. Did what I had to do to survive," Lucas said, his tone a bit hollow. He had a distance look in his eye when he thought about that old farmhouse with his preacher father and wife house mother. It had been the little country home that he had been so desperate to escape at the age of eighteen and he hadn't look back. When John Bateman died, that part of his past died, too, and was unattainable to him now. Shaking himself free from his memories, he looked at her and tapped her nose gently with the tip of his finger. "I imagine you know what that is like."

"A little bit," Evelyn said, with a bittersweet expression. "Just a little bit."

* * *

Gibbs was unsettled.

Few things did that to him, but none so much as sitting in the drive of his daughter's house. His daughter, the very idea shook him to his core, and still was hard to swallow. Not that he wasn't glad that Kelly was alive and whole. It eased the ghost of guilt that haunted him even on his best days. He was just at a loss at what to do. When she was child, he knew where he fit into his daughter's life. He father, her protector, the one who chased the bad dreams away. But Evelyn wasn't a child, and her bad dreams were no longer faceless monsters that could be chased off with a flash light. There were tangible and real and chasing her even when she was awake.

He knew how to fight his own monsters. He didn't know how to help her to fight hers, or if she even wanted his help. He didn't know what to do, and he hated that. It should be easy to accept this as a miracle, but Gibbs was a man used to them. He got out of the car and shut the door behind him before he walked up the pathway to the front porch. He stood staring at the door for a long time before he knocked, thoughts racing through his head and they all came to a halt when it was pulled open.

Evelyn stood there, with a solemn, if not pensive expression on her face. She blinked slowly, as if half not believing he was there, and stared at him for a long moment unblinkingly. "Oh. You're here," she whispered out.

Gibbs arched a brow. "I could leave, if you wanted?"

"No!" She said, then looked a tad flustered by the vehemence of her response. "No. Stay. Please." She opened the door wide and allowed him to enter the house. "I was sitting in the kitchen. I would have came outside to greet you, but I just…just got busy with…" As they came around the corner into the kitchen, she gestured to all the pictures and papers that sat scattered across the floor. "With organizing the mess that is my belongings and didn't realize the time."

Gibbs nodded, slightly. "Where is Lucas?"

"He…he's around. He wanted to give us some privacy I suppose," Evelyn said, her eyes darted around the kitchen as if she was half expecting Lucas to appear at the sound of his name.

"Hmm. It's a nice house. You live out of the ways of town. Just within reach if you need help, but far away enough to have privacy," Gibbs noted, his blue eyes flickered around. It was also spoke to Evelyn's secretive and paranoid nature. Plants positions in ways to detect if someone had been nosing around the house, little glass perfume bottles set just so on the windowsills that if someone tried to pry it open, they would fall off and shatter. It spoke of a deep seeded fear, and it made his heart clenched inside of his chest.

"I'm a hopeless introvert," Evelyn explained, with a wry expression. "It also helps when you are trying not to draw so much attention to yourself to not been actually seen by neighbors or mailmen. People can't remember you if you never let them."

"Lucas saw you," Gibbs pointed out.

Evelyn's lips twisted. "Yes. Well, he wasn't a regular neighbor, now was he?" She commented, deadpanned. "He wouldn't have even been here if I had chose to go to NCIS and Fornell see me, so that was my own fault for not keeping my head down like I should have. Not that I regret it, because I don't. It might not have been the path that I initially wanted, but…I can't complain about where I am at. Mostly," she added, after a moment. "I could have done without being stabbed. Thought I'm sure anyone who has been stabbed would say the same."

Gibbs didn't say anything right away. Knowing that she was his daughter and how close he came to losing her was still a very touchy subject. One that he didn't want to touch on right away. "SecNav came to talk to the Director," he commented, after a moment. "About you."

"Ah," Evelyn said, flatly. "I was expecting that. I didn't imagine SecNav would be thrilled to have an American turned spy for another country a member of NCIS." She gave him a shrewd glance as she delicately crossed her arms over her chest. "So should I be on the look out for the government to be on my doorstep with chains and ready to ship me to an unknown location?"

"No. The Director argued that you had done very good work since you had joined, and that you had every intention of using the information to help, not hurt. Painted a selfless picture of you from what I'm told," Gibbs stated, his hands shoved into his pockets as he glanced around the kitchen.

"Selfless? Joining NCIS was entirely self serving, I assure you," Evelyn said, with a harsh laugh. Her bitter smile fell into something morose, and she looked at her father with true regret shining in her eyes. "I wanted to protect myself, and I wanted to see you. Even if it was just from afar."

"When you were determined not to tell me the truth?" Gibbs asked, fighting hard to keep what he was feeling from his expression. The Mask that he had developed over the years had never came more in handy than it did now.

"Yes, then," Evelyn said, uneasily. She looked away and cleared her throat. "I…uh, made some coffee. And homemade croissants."

"Homemade?" Gibbs arched a brow.

"I get bored very easily, and I need hobbies to occupy myself. This one was just the pick of the day," Evelyn shrugged her shoulder, and gestured towards the table. "Do…you want to sit down? I think for this talk is the type we should probably sit down."

With coffee in hand, they settled into seats adjacent from each other at the table. Evelyn stared down at the black inky liquid, a bitterness in her stomach that rivaled the taste of the black coffee of her tongue. "Before we get into this whole mess that I made, I just want to get something off of my chest. I know that this is difficult for you, Gibbs. I just showed up one day and got put on your team. In that time, we built a tentative trust between us and I know that got…hurt when you found out the truth. Even more so when you found out that I knew the entire time. I didn't do it to hurt you," she promised, her features filled with despair and the need for him to know that she truly meant it. "Keep the truth hidden. Hurting you or anyone was the last thing that I wanted."

"I didn't think you did," Gibbs replied, frowning. "I'm not angry over the truth, Evelyn. It's the fact that after all this time, you didn't trust me."

"That's not true," Evelyn shook her head. "I trust you."

"To watch your back on a case. Not with the fact that you were my daughter," Gibbs pointed out, not unkindly. "Have we not proved that we can be trusted? That I can be trusted?"

"I…" Evelyn faltered, her expression falling. Her shoulders slumped, and she looked down at the cup clutched between her hands. "Yes, you have. More than enough, but it's not you that's the problem. There's this…part of me that is always a little afraid. A part of me that won't trust myself anymore. I'm the problem, not any of you.

"You see, I'm different. I know I am different because of all the things that has happened to me throughout my life. All the choices I've made on top of all the things that have happened to me…it is a wonder that I'm sane at all. It's fine when I'm by myself, but when I start adding others into my life…" Evelyn said, setting the coffee cup down the table. It was personally too bitter for her, but taking sips gave her time to collect her thoughts. "I'm at a completely loss at what to do. I just feel like that they have to be uncomfortable around me. That on some level they can sense or see what I really am."

"What you really are?" Gibbs frowned.

"I'm…not a good person. I've done stuff and seen stuff that would turn lesser people's stomachs. I had reasons that I used to justify my actions, but doesn't everyone? In the end, it doesn't matter," Evelyn said, shaking her head. She brushed her hair out of her face, and took a deep breath. "I didn't tell you the truth because I fooled myself into believing I was doing what was best. That I was sparing you the hurt, when all I was doing was sparing myself the hurt."

"You were afraid that I was going to hurt you?" Gibbs asked, his expression narrowed. He would never have hurt her. Even before he knew she was Kelly, he would have never hurt her.

"I know that you wouldn't. Logically, I know that, but I…don't know…" Evelyn shrugged helplessly. She scratched the back of her neck feeling the uncomfortable heat in her face, and shifted nervously on her feet. "I guess, I was afraid if you saw all that I was—the good parts and the bad parts—then you wouldn't want me around anymore. That you'd…that you'd turn you back on me."

Gibbs drew in a deep cleansing breath. "Why would you think that, Evelyn?" He asked her, seriously. "I would have moved heaven and earth if I had any idea that you were alive. I still would."

Evelyn looked down. "You know…I was almost adopted. A couple that couldn't have kids was going to adopt me when I was fifteen. Elaine and Carter were their names. I was happy for the first time in a long time. I was going to have a family at Christmas, except I didn't." She swallowed thickly, her cheeks heating with embarrassment. She had never told anyone about this. "They found out they were expecting, and a week before I was back into foster care."

Gibbs felt a burst of anger rush through, and he ran a hand along his clenched jaw. He bit his tongue because he saw scars that Evelyn was desperately trying hide from sight.

"The next time…I allowed myself to trust someone I ended up trusting someone again, I end up in a Russian prison. I made poor decision in who to believe in. I know that you can be trusted, Gibbs," Evelyn said, sadly.

Gibbs stared at her, his blue eyes stark and clear. "I can't say I'm not still angry with you. I won't deny that," Gibbs began, carefully. "But you're my daughter. I thought I lost you once, and I almost lost you again. I don't know how this is going to work, and maybe we don't need to figure that out today. Today, I just want you to know that I'm going to be here for you. Whether you like it or not."

Evelyn's heart seemed to twist and swell all at once. She felt her chest tremble with a harsh breath, and she blinked back the sudden rush of tears that she felt fill her eyes. "You really said that," she whispered out. She had to set her coffee cup down in order not to spill. "I…I agree. We don't have to figure this out in one day. I don't know how to be a daughter to be honest, and I'm not good at expressing my emotions very well. I can't promise I won't mess up, but I promise to always try."

"That's all that I can ask," he said, with a small smile. Then his cellphone rang cutting into the moment abruptly. His smile fell and he heaved a sigh. He was almost tempted to ignore it, but he knew he couldn't.

Evelyn just gave him an understanding smile, and he pulled out his cellphone. "Gibbs," he answered it. His eyes narrowed slightly, and his expression darkened. "Alright, McGee. I'm on my way."

"Why? What happened?" Evelyn stood up out of her chair abruptly. She knew her father well enough to know that was his worried expression, and knew in her gut that something bad must have happened.

"A close call for Tony and Ziva. That's all I can tell you," Gibbs said, quietly. He drank down the last sip of coffee in his cup, and sat it down before he rose out of the chair.

Evelyn's stomach fell. A sick feeling washed over her from head to toe, and she felt all the blood drain out of her face. "It's Tarasov, isn't it? It may not be him, but it was his men. They almost hurt Tony and Ziva."

"Don't do that," Gibbs reprimanded her, sharply. He could see which way the cogs inside her mind were spinning, and he didn't like it one bit. "Don't begin to think that any of this is your fault."

"But—" She began.

"No buts," Gibbs told her, seriously as he made his way around the table to her. "Now I have to go, but I will be back later. Alright?" Gibbs's expression softened, and he pulled her into a tight. It reminded her so much of when she was child, and she soaked up the comfort of that embrace. He then placed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Alright," Evelyn said, softly. Even though he ordered her not to let her mind go there, it was going there. Almost against her will. She watched with sad eyes as Gibbs left, and startled at the sound of the door closing. She stood there as still as a statue for several moments, her mind racing like a hamster on a wheel. Around and around it went, except it showed no sign of slowly down. She didn't know how long she stood there, but she could feel the anxiety scrap along her scalp like nails upon the chalkboard as a lump built in her throat. Running her fingers through her hair, she sat down on the floor when her legs suddenly felt weak. The air in her lungs began less and less until she was gulping like a fish out of water and she rocked back and forth.

If she had never came here no one would be in danger. Tony almost died today because Tarasov was here for her. Tarasov could end hurting everyone she cared about, and it would be all because she led him straight to them. Her fingers were clawing at her chest as she stumbled towards the door to call out for Gibbs, but she couldn't get to her feet. She felt very light headed like any second she was going to pass out when she felt arms scoop her up and Lucas carried her into the living room.

"I've got you," Lucas promised, setting her on the couch. "I've got you. Just breath with me, alright?" He pressed her palm flat against his chest and took deep breaths. "Just like me. Close your eyes and concentrate on me."

Evelyn didn't close them, instead was still desperately trying to catch her breath.

"Evelyn, just close your eyes," he whispered.

Evelyn stared at his eyes for a long time, and then she allowed them to flutter closed. Her breaths were still uneven, and hitched when she felt the steadiness of each of his breaths. Her brows furrowed as she tried to concentrate and even each of her breaths until it held the same rhythm of his. Her fingers shook against the fabric of his white t-shirt, and she licked her dry lips ever so slightly. Underneath each breath, she felt his heart beat. So strong, so resilient with each thump against her palm and it anchored her. Inch by inch, the panic started to ebb away and after three minutes, she slumped tiredly against the couch.

Silence stretched between them. It wasn't uncomfortable. It just simply was. "You know how to handle someone have panic attacks," Evelyn said, breathlessly. She wiped the sweat form her brow, and pulled her knees up to her chest gently as to not aggravate her stitches.

"Unfortunate personal experience," Lucas said, with a crooked grin. His expression quickly sobered quickly, and he thumb brushed across her cheek gently. "You seem alright now. Do you want to tell me what happened? Did the talk with your father not go well?" If that was the case, Lucas was going to kill him.

"No. No, it went well," Evelyn sighed, her hand coming up to link her fingers through his. "He wants to be a part of my life which is something I never thought I would ever be able to have again. It…it had nothing to do with that."

"Then what happened?" Lucas inquired.

"McGee called. Tony and Ziva apprehended a suspect linked to the case, but almost got killed doing it," Evelyn said, quietly.

"They are NCIS agents. Danger is part of the job," Lucas pointed out.

"Yes, but this danger isn't just some random danger. It came from me," Evelyn said, flopping her head back against the couch. She looked up at the ceiling and just shook her head. "Tarasov came here because of me. He's after them because of me, and I…I can't lose any of them, Lucas. If any of them die because of me, I don't think I will be able to handle that."

"Look at me," Lucas said. When she did, he continued, "You have the best people on your side this time with Tarasov. It won't happen like last time."

"You don't know that," Evelyn said, weakly.

"I know you," Lucas told her. "And I know that you aren't going to let this bastard get away with hurting you or anyone you love again. Are you?"

Evelyn took a deep breath, holding inside her lungs for several seconds before she released it slowly. All her fear and panic hardened into an angry determination in the center of her chest. "No. I'm not. I'm not going to let him destroy my life again. This time…I'm going to end it," she vowed, her eyes cold. "He may have started this, but I swear to God, I'll be the one to end it. I'm going to kill him."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Sorry for the short chapter. I lost my chapter I was going to post, and still wanted to update because it had been so long since I have update, but I promise the next will be longer. Thank you!**

**Rrs are appreciated.**


End file.
